I love my boyfriend but I don't know how to say "I love you" to him. We have been dating for a month now and I think he feels the same way about me but he has never said "I love you". He calls me "my love" and stuff like that and I say that too, but thats different. How do I approach this conversation and say "I love you"?
I don't think you've been dating long enough to spring that on him. You don't want to scare him off by committing and falling head over hills too quickly. Since he hasn't said it before, it will likely take him longer to say it. You can let him know how you feel without actually saying I love you. For example, "I love your personality" or "I love your smile" or "I love your sense of humor" changes the whole thing with just a couple of extra words. It's also more specific and less scary to a guy that hasn't been in love before.
Darby(:
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I'm 33. My gf is 28. My girlfriend and I have been talking about marriage, and invitations to the wedding came up. She wants to invite a couple she had a three-way with. It was a one time thing, they are friends today, and she works with wife of this couple. Here's the kicker. She is the godmother to their child, and they are still good friends and have a "family" like relationship because of the said godchild. I have put my foot down and have said no to having them at the wedding. I just can't imagine having an ex-lover at the wedding, even though they just did it once. I really just couldn't stand having the guy there, saying something like, "ha, I tapped that." I know, it sounds stupid, but its the truth. Am I being unreasonable or is my objection understandable?
Your objection is totally understandable. You will feel uncomfortable with him there and this is your wedding day too. You only get one (hopefully, ha) and you don't want anything to ruin it.
However, since she is the godmother of their child and the guy does have a wife, not inviting them would only cause problems. They would probably demand to know why they're not invited to your wedding, since they're all still obviously close. Then your fiancee will have to explain to them that you're not comfortable with him being there because they had sex way back when.
You're going to have to come to some sort of compromise. I agree with the person below me about placing them way in the back, possibly in the corner where you wouldn't even see them. I'm not sure if just inviting them to the reception would work because they would probably wonder why they weren't invited to their child's godmother's actual wedding.
It's obvious that their sexual relationship is long over with. Your wedding day is going to be so busy, you probably won't even have time to notice who's there and who isn't. Try talking to your gf and telling her how you feel and why you feel that way. Hopefully she can put you at ease about the whole thing so you can both have a wonderful, stress-free wedding.
Congrats on the marriage and good luck(:
Darby
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How do I know if my relationship is just revolved around sex?
18/f
If you see each other just to have sex
If you have sex then leave soon after
If your conversation revolves around sex and what new things you want to do sexually
If you can't go a while without having it and still maintain a relationship
If you know little about each other's problems or are not emotionally open with each other
If you can't ever just hang out and watch a movie without having sex
Pretty much if you can't spend any time together without having sex
If either of you gets angry when the other doesn't want to have sex for once
Darby
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i basically live off of poptarts and ramon noodle soup im now discovering how unhealthy i eat.. i feel like everything is high in fructose corn syrup or whatever. so are poptarts really that bad for you too? whats healthy food too snack on, like what about powerbars??
Poptarts aren't healthy and Ramen noodle soup is extremely high in sodium.
Try these alternatives to snack on:
animal crackers
microwavable popcorn (little or no butter)
fruit dipped in yogurt (yummy)
whole grain cereals
vegetables dipped in dip
As far as power bars go, it depends what kind you get. Some have about the same nutritional value as candy bars, so you have to be careful to read the labels.
Darby
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This will be my third year of marching band. i'm a senior now so I can be section leader. I have had the most experience marching out of my whole section. I have the most commitment to the band and I can march better beacause of my experience. I have waited for this opportunity since I started. But there is this other senior who is only starting his second season and he is acting like he is section leader because my former section leader (who does not have the power to make him leader by the way) gave him tips and stuff and made him leader. Now he is taking over my power and brainwashed the freshmen and our sophomore into thinking hes leader. I don't see why he should be leader. I'm trying to get my power back but I've been ignored ever since my former leader came to rehearsal. How should I get my respect back and be the leader I always wanted to be? (P.S sorry that this is long but I got alot to complain about)
It sounds to me like you're more deserving of being leader than this guy, considering the fact that you've been there longer and have more experience/commitment. You need to talk to the leader of the whole thing. There's someone above all of you, I'm sure. Tell them that you've been there longer and have put more into it and that you feel you're more deserving of being the leader than the other kid.
Then try to make a name for yourself at practices. Be louder, be more energetic, and be friendlier. People will start seeing you as a leader if they see how serious you are about it and that you're ready to take the leadership role. Don't let him take over. Talk over him, talk more than him, and talk better than him.
People may have ignored you thus far, but give them something they can't ignore. Try talking to some of them one on one and letting them get to know you better. Once they know you and your commitment, they will look to you for leadership more and more often.
Darby
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NOTE: IM IN A RUSH SO SOME OF THE GRAMMER AND WORDS MAY NOT MAKE SINCE..and MIGHT BE STRAIGHT RUBBISH
im a 10th grader and the talk around school in my grade is who has had sex or not.. i mean its not a big deal but like...i wanna know who has or not..wel me and my best friend jesse..know alot of people who have and they tell us in secret..but i always tell him even though i promised that person i wouldnt say anything..and i thought he told me everyone he knows..but latley theres this other girl he hangs out with and me and her are cool too..but she told him that her and her boyfriend have and he never told me.. i asked him if they have a couple of times because they are always just there..kissing..he always says no..well like 3 days ago two of my other best friends told me that she had told them on two different occasions and one of them said that the girl had told him too...so i was in shock that he never told me..and i asked him about it the next period and he said he didnt know..and i just walked away because i knew he was lying..and well i just said..i see how you are..and he said fine dont believe me..well i let it go and today while i was on the phone with him..i told him just to tell me if he knew because i already knew they have..he still said no..and played like he didnt know for like 10 mins...finally he confused and said he did know but he just didnt want to tell me.. I find him as my best friend and i tell him everything i know..i mean everything..and i just feel like he isnt telling me everything..
what should i do..should i stop telling him my secrets..what do you think..and
ps
he lies like ALOT so yeah..idk if i should trust him anymore
19 minutes ago
You're in tenth grade. So you're what, 15/16 years old?
I agree with the two below me as far as people trusting you with their secrets and you not being trustworthy.
But what you're asking here is should you still trust him. I'm going to go ahead and say that he shouldn't trust you and you shouldn't trust him. You're both immature and gossipy. If he's willing to tell everyone's secrets, and you're willing to do the same, there's nothing stopping you two from doing it to each other.
I don't understand why anyone would care so much about whether or not two people have had sex. That is their business, not yours. I don't really understand this because I'm 17, so I'm not much older than you, but I would never ever care that much about what other people are doing in the privacy of their relationships.
You guys need hobbies.
As far as not being friends with this kid anymore, I think you're perfect for each other in a friendship sort of way. You both act the same and have the similar interest of meddling where you don't belong.
Darby
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First off, i'm a guy. I work in a place where I have to wear a shirt and tie. I saw this really nice pink shirt the other day and I even found a great tie to go with it. Dress slacks for guys are usually black, brown, blue, khaki or tan. None of these seem to really fit with a pink shirt. I guess black could but what color slacks would you suggest to go best with a pink shirt? i don't have a problem wearing pink. i just don't know how to make it work. any help would be appreciated.
Khaki-colored or black would work best. They both match together well.
Darby(:
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ok umm for like a while i stared sweating from my hands and i cant stop and now every time i shake someones hand it feels all wet does anyone know how i can stop sweating from my hands
Some people's hands are just sweatier than others. No one would be grossed out unless your hands are literally soaked with sweat. Either way, try applying some baby powder to your hands. It works great for drying them up. If this doesn't work, there are prescriptions that your doctor can give you that will dry them up.
Darby(:
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is it good to go school and get business degree in usa , and can find job easily
Any degree is better than none. Business degrees are good because you can use them in a lot of different areas. You can become a manager for a company much easier with a business degree. If you like business, go for it. But you'll most likely have to get a bachelor's degree before you find a really good job. (Which is four years of schooling)
After two years, you'll get your associative's degree and it will be easier to find a job with it. But for a good paying job, you'll want to at least go two more years to get the bachelor's.
Darby
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I'm 19, Ok so this is really making me extremly mad like beyond belive... my moms and step dad decided to move to kentucky and now they are doing really bad... she works everyday and off and on weekends to support her him and there 2 yearold daughter... he's not making any effort on any part to get a job... I'm about to snap on him seriously she 43 years old she doesn't need to be the only one making money and with econmy sucking already him not making an effort to get a job isn't helping them at all... and on top of buying everything she need for the 2 year old she is paying all the bills and her car and he thinks he can tell everyone what to do and she buying him his beer and carton of cigs when he needs it I think this is absuluty rediculous I really need help... I kinda talked to my moms about it but she's not doing anything about it... he keeps using their 2 year old as his cruch saying "well I need to watch her and blah blah blah blah" its really getting out of hand and he said he knows where places are hiring for job he just doesn't wanna waste the gas in my moms car (like she ever gets to drive anyways) please some1 help before I do something really stupid!!!!!!
I can completely understand your frustration. You don't want your mother working nonstop while your stepdad stays at home drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and telling everyone what to do.
There are different ways to look at this. If he's truly helping out around the house; he cleans, cooks, takes care of the baby, takes care of yardwork, does laundry, etc.. then it's more reasonable.
But if he's sitting on the couch in front of the tv, drinking beer and just hanging out; I can definitely see where you would think this is a problem. It's not fair to your mother to have to do everything while he just chills.
Unfortunately, if that's what your mother wants to do, that's what she will do. You can't make her try to make him get a job. Showing them how angry you're getting about this is only going to make them angry. They're going to think you're in their business when you shouldn't be. If they don't see a problem with this, they're not going to understand your concern.
Try talking to your mother once more about this. You said you 'kinda' talked to her about it. You need to tell her how you see it as a third party. Don't act angry, keep a cool head. Tell her that you don't see how it's fair for her to be doing everything. They could always get a babysitter for the baby and they could both work so your mother wouldn't have to work so much.
If your mother still sees no problem with this, there's nothing you can do about it. Until she sees where this is unfair, you'll have to let it go. Repeatedly bringing it up is just going to cause her to distance herself so she doesn't have to hear about it. You need to make sure that you don't let yourself get angry and bitter about it if she does choose to continue living this way. There's nothing you can do about it if she sees this as an okay thing.
I understand that you're not saying that only he should work and she shouldn't. You're saying that they should both give equal contribution, which is completely reasonable. But if that's not how they want to do it, that's just how it's going to be. You'll have to move forward and let them do their thing.
Darby(:
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There is this guy I’ve been with for almost two years now, and our relationship has been kind of bumpy… We’re very different from each other, until we come across these little things that remind us both how similar we are… But anyway, the differences between us have started some very big fights and we have been fighting since six months into our relationship. About a year into our relationship, he broke it off because he said we fought too much and because we were so different… That crushed me, but things started to build up again, and before we knew it, we were celebrating our second valentines day together again. I’m in love with him, crazy about him, and I thought things were starting to improve between us, But this past February, he broke it off again after another big fight… He said he couldn’t take the fighting anymore and he was tired of hurting me, etc. etc… But he wanted to remain friends… I wasn’t so lucky this time around and he’s been trying his best to stick to just being friends… He doesn’t kiss me anymore, he doesn’t tell me he loves me, and I hardly get to spend time with him anymore… And I’ve tried, but it’s hard and it hurts to not be close to him anymore, and I guess that because of that, we’ve been fighting way more than when we were together… It’s probably immature and stupid, but the fact is that I can’t pretend to just be his friend when I’m crazy in love with him… And I’ve told him all this, and a while ago after another one of our fights, I told him I couldn’t take it anymore, that I’ve been too depressed trying to be his friend, and that we fight too much and that I couldn’t take it anymore and I told him that it was best if we didn’t see or talk to each other ever again… He cried and he begged and he kissed me and he said he loved me too much to loose me forever and he asked me to please try harder to be his friend… So seeing him so hurt, made me give in again and I tried again, but the fights came back, and a couple of days ago we went trough the same thing again… I told him I hated fighting with him, cause it was hurting both of us and I told him I loved him, but that I couldn’t pretend to keep doing this… I was a bit more firm this time, but he cried again and that was that… I erased his number from my phone, but the next day he called me back over and over again, until I eventually gave in and answered… He told me he loved me and couldn’t live without me and that he needed me by his side (just not as his girlfriend), he cried a lot and begged and said he would kiss me if I wanted and that he would spend all day with me together and we could make love and do everything we loved doing when we were together… and I gave in again, and yesterday, Friday we did just that… But at the end of the night I cried again because I knew that when the day was over, we were going go back to just being friends… And that’s what happened and here I am, depressed again because I can’t have the guy I love… BUT technically I do have him… So my question is, should I wait until he’s ready for a relationship, or should I let him go, for real this time… And if he loves me so much, why doesn’t he just want to be with me, am I missing something? Any advice would be appreciated,
I think I’m going crazy.
If this guy wanted to be with you, he would be with you. It sounds as though he's gotten so comfortable with you that he's scared of being without you. But at the same time, he does want to be without you. If you guys still fight while being just friends, he isn't doing all of this because you guys fight too much. The only reasonable explanation for him wanting to just be friends and still mess around and fight and do everything you did when you were dating, is that he wants to see other people too.
It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants all the benefits of having you as a girlfriend (love, sex, companionship) without actually having to commit to you and only you.
Tell him that you're not just going to be friends with him. Tell him that it's all or nothing. You're not in high school anymore where this back and forth stuff doesn't matter either way because you're just kids. You guys are in your twenties and if he's going to be immature, it's time to move on. Tell him that you can't just be friends with him because that hurts too much. Especially when it's friends with all the benefits of a girlfriend, but no commitment.
If he accepts this and wants to date again, that's up to you to go for it or not. But if he says that he still doesn't want to date, it's definitely time for you to move on. The excuse of you guys fighting too much doesn't exactly work when you're fighting more now than ever.
You'll have to really commit to letting him go if that is your decision. Of course he'll cry and whine and call you a lot; but if he cares so much, why wouldn't he want to date you? There's something not adding up there, and it's sounds fishy. It will be hard at first, but if you go a while without talking to or seeing him at all, it will get much easier to move forward with your life.
Darby
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hi!we had an addition put on 38,000.00 master bedroom in the back of the house.they dug up the whole back yard just about.there was a yard full of grass and now there is non.it doesn't say anything in the contract about fixing the back yard.should they b held responsable to make it like it was?
If it doesn't say in the contract that they have to fix the backyard, they probably don't have to.
But I'll give you a site that gives your free legal advice. Ask your question on the righthand side of the screen :
http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice
Darby
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me and my friend both like the same guy.... she dosnt know i like him but i know she i like him. she always talks about how much she think she loves him. me and him have been going out secretly. she just thinks we're friends. she told me scince we're such good friends if i could ask him out for her. i dont want to hurt her feeling, i feel guilty i'm dating her crush. she's been my bffl ever scince i knew her,and he said he likes both of us..... what should i do?
This dude is playing both of you. I would never date a guy that admitted to me that he likes my best friend too. You're setting yourself up to really get hurt by him. He's already admitted that he likes your best friend. She likes him. What is going to stop him from cheating on you with her? She doesn't even know you guys are dating, so that wouldn't stop her from hooking up with him.
You should feel guilty for dating your best friend's crush. She told you first that she liked him, then you started dating him. If you're a real friend, you'll tell her what's up.
Tell her that you've been dating him and that he has told you that he likes both of you. And, if you don't want to get hurt by this guy, you should end your relationship now. You're pretty much give him the O.K. to like your best friend, which doesn't make for a good relationship builder at all.
Darby
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Alright, so last summer I went out with this guy, and hes like a druggie, well i liked him. and he said he'd stop smoking for me. Well then he shows up to hang out with me high. This made me mad, sort of like telling me i'm worthless to him. Well, I wouldn't have been mad if he hadn't had said he wouldn't smoke for me. Well, we broke up like a week later over this and a bunch of other stuff. Well my friend hangs out with his friends and oneday he was there. She asked about me, and she asked him if he liked me, and he smiled and looked away, and later talked about getting back together with me. Well I reallyyy don't like the fact that he smokes. and I do like him, because hes really hot and funny and sweet. Well he started talking to me agian. And I know that if I want to go back out with him then we will. Its pretty much up to me. But I don't know what to do. I think I like him. But he smokes, and he clearly won't be able to stop. what should i do?!
If his smoking really bothers you and you know he won't stop, you'll be starting your relationship off with problems instead of with a clean slate. Problems already form during relationships and starting off with them is not a good sign.
If you don't accept that he smokes (not saying you should), you shouldn't get into a relationship with him. If he can't stop smoking, it shows a lack of control. Either he doesn't want to stop, or he doesn't want to try hard enough to quit.
Marijuana is not that addictive. If he wanted to stop doing it, he could. He wouldn't have physical withdraws, he would only have mental urges of wanting to do it for a little while.
Marijuana is also a gateway drug, as you've probably heard. When I was 14, I dated an older guy that smoked weed a lot. It led to him doing coke, and that is a real addiction. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone that does drugs if you're not okay with drugs.
Darby
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but im not quite sure how to describe it..
its like hair where the layers at the back are quite short but the rest of the hair comes down past the shoulders im not sure if they are extensions or not theres alot of volume also and the side fringe includes alot of bangs..
does anyone know the name or type of hair im talking about!?
i see girls with it all the time and im just dying to have mine like it!
i cant search for a picture because i dont know what it is if you get me.
please if anyone has any idea what im talking about itd be much apriciated if you could help!
thanks =]
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3242/2482853619_f82742d324_o.jpg
Is this the kind of hairstyle you're talking about? If so, just print off a picture and take it to your hair stylist.
Darby(:
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i am in love with my best friend and she sees me as a brother and i want to be more than that and my other best friend told her that i liked her and she asked me if it were true i told her i didnt want to talk about it since she had a boyfriend which was my best friend who told her i liked her. ive asked her out and she says she sees me as a brother that shes never had and i dont know what to do she tries to kiss me every once in a while and our friends have told us once to kiss and get it over with.but she sees me as a brother so what do i do. i am 19 and a male
There's nothing you can do to stop making her see you as a brother. You should tell her how you really feel, now that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Tell her once and only once. Be up front and direct with it. Just tell her that she's your best friend and that you've grown to see her as more than that. If she doesn't take the bait or maintains that she only sees you as a brother, you're going to have to be happy with just that. Be happy that she's in your life and keep your mind open to other relationships.
If you keep bugging her about it after you tell her how you feel, she's going to start feeling uncomfortable and awkward about the whole thing. It could really take a toll on your friendship, so give her space and don't try to keep changing her mind about it.
Darby
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Well im not sure why but i like this kid that is 13, im am 15 will be 16 in june. He doesnt act like he is this young and is really sweet. Is it bad that i like him??? what should i do?? Plus if anyone finds out do you think that i would have a bad rep at my high school??
Nah, that's not too bad. He should only be a couple grades under you. When is he turning 14? If he just now turned 13, that would be construed as a little bit odd since he's almost 4 years younger than you. Which isn't a big deal when you're an adult, but when you were 13, you were probably much different than you are as a 16 year old.
But if he's mature and you're happy with him, so be it. It's not much of a difference at all. You shouldn't get a bad reputation for it. If anyone says anything to you about it, simply say, "He's mature for his age and we're happy together." There's not much anyone can really say to debate that. But I very seriously doubt that people would bring it up anyway.
Darby(:
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I need some advice and info on this: my son is or was introuble with a vop and failure to appear and now he had a spat with his ex and she hit him and he hit back. she called police and he is running and hiding, He called to tell me this and to let me know she busted my cell phone but he is hiding. The interenet states the only case I can find is a reopened inactive one and that his lawyer has removed from it. What does this mean and what can I do ?
I don't really know what your last statement is saying. If you clarify, I will edit and answer to the best of my ability.
As far as your son running and hiding from the cops, never a good idea. He's going to get in trouble anyway because he failed to appear in court. Now that he's hiding and running away, he might get in trouble for resisting arrest or something of the sort. He needs to go turn himself in for both things. He can also file a statement saying that his ex hit him as well. The courts are not going to look kindly at him hitting her back, however, because he is a boy and she is a girl. But it will look a lot better than her going there saying he hit her, and him running and hiding when he has a warrant out (which is what you get when you fail to appear in court)
Darby
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Latly my dad has been acting strange. My parents are fighting all the time. I just found out a few months ago that my dad has been marryed before my mom.I also found out that they got devorced because my dad cheated on her...and not with my mom. He has been "working" over time alot. He gets drunk alot too. I find condoms all over there room. I know they could have been from my mom but I really just have a strange feeling about it. I know for a fact that he still talks to his ex wife. I really dont like my dad. I have been wishing for years that they would get a divorce. But I dont want my dad to be cheating on my mom.What do you think is going on?
You have a right to be concerned because you don't want your mother to get hurt. You should talk to her, but don't come out and say that you think your father is cheating. If you do, you'll form a rift in your relationship with your mother and possibly your father too (although it sounds like there already is one with your father)
Just tell her that you feel weird that you just found out that your father was married before and that he cheated on his ex wife. Then, when he's 'working over', mention how he's been working over a lot. Inquire as to why he has been working over so often.
Your mother could quite possibly have the same worries that you're having. If she does, she will likely open up to you and tell you what she thinks when she sees that you're noticing a change too.
As far as the condoms go, I think they're most likely from your parents. There's no way your father would be cheating on your mother and just leaving condoms out in the open where she could see. He would try to hide them a lot better if they were from/for some other woman.
Darby
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I'm running into some hard times in my life. I fell in love with my wife pretty much at first sight. The problem was that I didn't have a lot of experience with relationships. I didn't do things properly and I let my family get to much of a say in our relationship. They didn't like her from the very beginning and didn't even try to be nice to her. My mistake was that I didn't stand up for her like I should have. which led to a lot of problems between us. we started fighting and have split up multiple times. we now have 2 children but we recently split up again. when we split up I was devastated but instead of just being hurt I took out that hurt on her. I called all sorts of names and refused to talk to her for a while. but we recently started talking again and when we were talking on the phone everything seemed like it would be ok. but then we met up again and she said that seeing me changed things. that she didn't feel the same for me. I love her with everything in me and can't stand to let her go. but she isn't sure if we can be together again. I need help with what I should do. I'm lost here. I can't breath I've been having panic attacks I'm losing everything with her gone
You need to set up a surprise date for you wife. Set it up like your first real date. If you went to a specific restaurant or place, bring her there again. As much as you feel you may do for her and your kids, you have to literally say things to make them be known. Swallow your pride and tell her how you really feel. Talk from your heart, not from your mind.
Tell her that you are in love with her and that you need your family back. Let her know that you understand that by not standing up for her against your family, you have allowed problems into your relationship. Tell her that you don't want to let these issues tear you apart. Tell her that you're willing to do couple's therapy or any other thing she might have in mind. Let her know that because your love for her is so strong, you're willing to work as hard as you can to make a real change.
It may be hard to say things. Nowadays, people have a lot of trouble expressing how they feel. Whether it's that they think they will appear weak or they just have too much pride, you need to show her a vulnerable side of you that NEEDS her and is willing to change.
Darby
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