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Is my dad cheating?


Question Posted Friday May 15 2009, 1:29 pm

Latly my dad has been acting strange. My parents are fighting all the time. I just found out a few months ago that my dad has been marryed before my mom.I also found out that they got devorced because my dad cheated on her...and not with my mom. He has been "working" over time alot. He gets drunk alot too. I find condoms all over there room. I know they could have been from my mom but I really just have a strange feeling about it. I know for a fact that he still talks to his ex wife. I really dont like my dad. I have been wishing for years that they would get a divorce. But I dont want my dad to be cheating on my mom.What do you think is going on?

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karenR answered Saturday May 16 2009, 2:06 pm:
I think its possible your imagination may be working overtime.

1. Just because your dad was married before doesn't make him a bad guy. You know that. Why that relationship ended has nothing at all to do with you. Shows here you are 13. There really was no reason for you to know that info before now.

2. With luck someone who has cheated in the past learned from the mistake. Just because he cheated before does make him destined to do it again.

3. Working overtime usually resorts in extra income. Times are hard if you haven't been watching the news. :) Believe me, if he says hes working OT and no more money is entering the house, your mom would know it.

4. Getting drunk may mean he is depressed about something. Perhaps your parents are struggling to make ends meet these days. Getting drunk a lot doesn't solve anything, nor is it a good thing. It doesn't make your dad a cheater though.

5. Finding condoms all over their room would tell me they are getting along very well. Again, if you see them, why wouldn't your mother? Not very smart for a cheater to leave his hardware lying around for the whole family to see.

Now, you don't have to like your dad I don't suppose. Lets just assume though that since she married the guy, your mom loves him. Don't try to stir up trouble where there is none.

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Darby answered Friday May 15 2009, 7:37 pm:
You have a right to be concerned because you don't want your mother to get hurt. You should talk to her, but don't come out and say that you think your father is cheating. If you do, you'll form a rift in your relationship with your mother and possibly your father too (although it sounds like there already is one with your father)
Just tell her that you feel weird that you just found out that your father was married before and that he cheated on his ex wife. Then, when he's 'working over', mention how he's been working over a lot. Inquire as to why he has been working over so often.
Your mother could quite possibly have the same worries that you're having. If she does, she will likely open up to you and tell you what she thinks when she sees that you're noticing a change too.
As far as the condoms go, I think they're most likely from your parents. There's no way your father would be cheating on your mother and just leaving condoms out in the open where she could see. He would try to hide them a lot better if they were from/for some other woman.


Darby

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wicked1472 answered Friday May 15 2009, 5:18 pm:
That's not for me to say... but from your conclusion, something fishy is going on. Maybe you should do some detective work and get to the bottom of it. It may be something totally different, or not. You can't judge before you know the facts.

What really confuses me if the fact that you don't like your own dad. That's just... wrong. I mean, he's your father. If he were a step-father I would understand. I can't seem to get the fact that you don't like him much. It's confusing, but I guess you can't choose family.

Ask your mom if they )(your mom and dad) have been having sex because you've seen condoms. I know it may be embarrassing but she's your mom, she has to answer, right? If it's not from her, then she'll know the truth about your dad and will get to the bottom of it by confronting him.

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