|
My moms(PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!)
I'm 19, Ok so this is really making me extremly mad like beyond belive... my moms and step dad decided to move to kentucky and now they are doing really bad... she works everyday and off and on weekends to support her him and there 2 yearold daughter... he's not making any effort on any part to get a job... I'm about to snap on him seriously she 43 years old she doesn't need to be the only one making money and with econmy sucking already him not making an effort to get a job isn't helping them at all... and on top of buying everything she need for the 2 year old she is paying all the bills and her car and he thinks he can tell everyone what to do and she buying him his beer and carton of cigs when he needs it I think this is absuluty rediculous I really need help... I kinda talked to my moms about it but she's not doing anything about it... he keeps using their 2 year old as his cruch saying "well I need to watch her and blah blah blah blah" its really getting out of hand and he said he knows where places are hiring for job he just doesn't wanna waste the gas in my moms car (like she ever gets to drive anyways) please some1 help before I do something really stupid!!!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
well our a smart girl for caring about your mom. and yes if she the the one doing every thing then he should be the homemaker if he cant work and really your mom should be the boss. yes if some ones staying home its thier job to take care of the house and food ect. if he cant talk to your mother and mabe its not good for to two year old to see him drink ether hope tihs helps bye now.
]
I can completely understand your frustration. You don't want your mother working nonstop while your stepdad stays at home drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and telling everyone what to do.
There are different ways to look at this. If he's truly helping out around the house; he cleans, cooks, takes care of the baby, takes care of yardwork, does laundry, etc.. then it's more reasonable.
But if he's sitting on the couch in front of the tv, drinking beer and just hanging out; I can definitely see where you would think this is a problem. It's not fair to your mother to have to do everything while he just chills.
Unfortunately, if that's what your mother wants to do, that's what she will do. You can't make her try to make him get a job. Showing them how angry you're getting about this is only going to make them angry. They're going to think you're in their business when you shouldn't be. If they don't see a problem with this, they're not going to understand your concern.
Try talking to your mother once more about this. You said you 'kinda' talked to her about it. You need to tell her how you see it as a third party. Don't act angry, keep a cool head. Tell her that you don't see how it's fair for her to be doing everything. They could always get a babysitter for the baby and they could both work so your mother wouldn't have to work so much.
If your mother still sees no problem with this, there's nothing you can do about it. Until she sees where this is unfair, you'll have to let it go. Repeatedly bringing it up is just going to cause her to distance herself so she doesn't have to hear about it. You need to make sure that you don't let yourself get angry and bitter about it if she does choose to continue living this way. There's nothing you can do about it if she sees this as an okay thing.
I understand that you're not saying that only he should work and she shouldn't. You're saying that they should both give equal contribution, which is completely reasonable. But if that's not how they want to do it, that's just how it's going to be. You'll have to move forward and let them do their thing.
Darby(:
]
Try to calm down. Getting angry towards them is only going to cause more problems & make things uncomfortable between everyone. Have you thought about who would watch their child if they both worked? It doesn't always have to be the traditional mom stays at home while dad works thing, like the person below me said. However, if there is someone who can watch their daughter, it may be best for you to talk to your mother about your concerns, & if she agrees, let her talk to your step-dad.
]
Maybe you should look at this from a less traditional point of view. This seems to be one of the still remaining stereotypes out there.
I have some experience with this because my sons ex worked and he was the "mom" for all intents and purposes. I know it seemed strange and was even looked down upon by many.
Neither are educated beyond high school. She, being a female, could more easily get a job around here. Females and minority's have a better chance of getting a job in lots of places. It shouldn't be that way, but that's the way it is.
I know in this day and age of 2 people incomes having a stay at home parent seems odd. Remember your mom isn't of this generation. With most incomes, the reality of it is this. Childcare, good childcare, is very expensive. The cost of it would wipe out all or almost all of one of the incomes anyway.
So, moms husband is a househusband. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Its non traditional, but maybe it works for them. They may not even like it, mom may want to be the one to stay home, but it could be she is more employable at this time.
So long as their bills are being paid and their child is being cared for, that's all that matters.
People do what they must. Try to be more supportive. I'll bet they would both appreciate it! :)
]
More Questions: |