|
boy - friend
There is this guy I’ve been with for almost two years now, and our relationship has been kind of bumpy… We’re very different from each other, until we come across these little things that remind us both how similar we are… But anyway, the differences between us have started some very big fights and we have been fighting since six months into our relationship. About a year into our relationship, he broke it off because he said we fought too much and because we were so different… That crushed me, but things started to build up again, and before we knew it, we were celebrating our second valentines day together again. I’m in love with him, crazy about him, and I thought things were starting to improve between us, But this past February, he broke it off again after another big fight… He said he couldn’t take the fighting anymore and he was tired of hurting me, etc. etc… But he wanted to remain friends… I wasn’t so lucky this time around and he’s been trying his best to stick to just being friends… He doesn’t kiss me anymore, he doesn’t tell me he loves me, and I hardly get to spend time with him anymore… And I’ve tried, but it’s hard and it hurts to not be close to him anymore, and I guess that because of that, we’ve been fighting way more than when we were together… It’s probably immature and stupid, but the fact is that I can’t pretend to just be his friend when I’m crazy in love with him… And I’ve told him all this, and a while ago after another one of our fights, I told him I couldn’t take it anymore, that I’ve been too depressed trying to be his friend, and that we fight too much and that I couldn’t take it anymore and I told him that it was best if we didn’t see or talk to each other ever again… He cried and he begged and he kissed me and he said he loved me too much to loose me forever and he asked me to please try harder to be his friend… So seeing him so hurt, made me give in again and I tried again, but the fights came back, and a couple of days ago we went trough the same thing again… I told him I hated fighting with him, cause it was hurting both of us and I told him I loved him, but that I couldn’t pretend to keep doing this… I was a bit more firm this time, but he cried again and that was that… I erased his number from my phone, but the next day he called me back over and over again, until I eventually gave in and answered… He told me he loved me and couldn’t live without me and that he needed me by his side (just not as his girlfriend), he cried a lot and begged and said he would kiss me if I wanted and that he would spend all day with me together and we could make love and do everything we loved doing when we were together… and I gave in again, and yesterday, Friday we did just that… But at the end of the night I cried again because I knew that when the day was over, we were going go back to just being friends… And that’s what happened and here I am, depressed again because I can’t have the guy I love… BUT technically I do have him… So my question is, should I wait until he’s ready for a relationship, or should I let him go, for real this time… And if he loves me so much, why doesn’t he just want to be with me, am I missing something? Any advice would be appreciated,
I think I’m going crazy.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well that is not a fun place to be. My honest thoughts are he is being a bit selfish. It just seems like he wants to eat his cake and have it too. You have to do whats best for you and i dont think trying to pretend you can be his friend when you oviously can't is good. You just need to explain to him that you do love him and you have come to terms with yall not being together and that if he loves you like he says he does then you would appreciate some space. Tell him you hope that you can be friends one day but right now you can't there are just to many feelings going on.
]
If this guy wanted to be with you, he would be with you. It sounds as though he's gotten so comfortable with you that he's scared of being without you. But at the same time, he does want to be without you. If you guys still fight while being just friends, he isn't doing all of this because you guys fight too much. The only reasonable explanation for him wanting to just be friends and still mess around and fight and do everything you did when you were dating, is that he wants to see other people too.
It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants all the benefits of having you as a girlfriend (love, sex, companionship) without actually having to commit to you and only you.
Tell him that you're not just going to be friends with him. Tell him that it's all or nothing. You're not in high school anymore where this back and forth stuff doesn't matter either way because you're just kids. You guys are in your twenties and if he's going to be immature, it's time to move on. Tell him that you can't just be friends with him because that hurts too much. Especially when it's friends with all the benefits of a girlfriend, but no commitment.
If he accepts this and wants to date again, that's up to you to go for it or not. But if he says that he still doesn't want to date, it's definitely time for you to move on. The excuse of you guys fighting too much doesn't exactly work when you're fighting more now than ever.
You'll have to really commit to letting him go if that is your decision. Of course he'll cry and whine and call you a lot; but if he cares so much, why wouldn't he want to date you? There's something not adding up there, and it's sounds fishy. It will be hard at first, but if you go a while without talking to or seeing him at all, it will get much easier to move forward with your life.
Darby
]
ok yeah this is really immature on his part he obviously wants you or he wouldn't keep calling you what you should do is tell him that you can't do the friends thing because what are you going to do when he get a new girlfriend then you will be nowhere it seems like right now hes using you until he does get one so just ignore him don't answer his phone calls just don't talk to him at all trust me he will realize how much he misses you there and he will come back to you more then a friend but for now just stay away
hope i helped
]
More Questions: |