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my boyfriend and i have been getting on really well.he was always telling me how sexy i am and stuff like that and i was saying it back to him because he is and its the truth.this week its like everything has gone done hill.i ring him and try to make conversation with him but he doesnt and it makes me feel really awkward then.he asks me personal stuff through text message but then when were talking he doesnt ask me anything.i know he might be just shy but he has asked me other stuff through text and to me if i was shy i wouldnt be asking stuff like that.i ask him how he is and gives me a one word anwser to everything.then i get nervous.i really really like but i dont know whats wrong.when he acts that way it makes me feel really down and alone.now, i feel like crying but at the same time i feel like shouting.
i dont mind him asking me personal stuff.i think its good to ask stuff.
help!im confused,upset,worried if i did something wrong.i just need some advice. (link)
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Males have a certain peculiarity that most of us don't even recognize within ourselves because it seems "normal". We go through cycles of intimacy and withdrawal. It's not a gradual thing, it can happen very fast - all at once, we just need alone time, and then just as suddenly, we're ready to get close again. He's probably in the alone zone right now. He can still send text messages and such because there's no actual contact there, but face-to-face is a little too close for comfort right now.
The thing is, if you give him some space, he'll eventually snap back. The most critical thing is not to continuously ask him what's wrong, because there IS nothing wrong; it's just a mood. Harping on it and drawing attention to his sulking will just make it last longer.
Now, this is all PROBABLY true. The thing is, it's also possible that there genuinely is something wrong that he's unwilling to share for some reason. Keep this possibility in the back of your mind, and if he doesn't "snap out of it" after a week or two, that is the time to sit him down and tell him that he's acting strangely and giving you the cold shoulder, and that's something that's very hard for you to deal with, so if there is something going on he needs to at least confirm that there is a problem. If he continues to insist that there IS nothing wrong, then you should tell him that if that's the case, he's giving you an attitude for no reason and you're not going to put up with it forever.
In other words, sometimes guys need a mental smack upside the head. Maybe he's just due for one.
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I'm a woman who never went far with a man, i get curious about sex, but i want to find the one i want to do it with. so i think of my best friend Joe, i knew him for 8 years but he isn't clean, he is Bi and he and i tells me his sex life. so i ask him if he got tested for AIDS or HIV but he didnt get the results yet. when i masterbite i think of him doing it to me. so should i ask him to give me head or should i wait? we always talk, laugh and joke about sex. i get trun on by it or is it my hormoans? (link)
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It sounds like you're asking whether you should have sexual contact with a man when you have reason to believe he may have a terminal STD. This question has a very simple answer:
NO.
You've waited eight years - you can wait a few more days or weeks for some test results! That's if you really think it would be a good idea to add sex to this relationship anyway; sometimes friends become lovers, but when it doesn't work out, it can be a very painful loss. Don't make this decision lightly or by listening too much to your hormones.
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so, um, what part of the penis gives the guy most pleasure when you rub it or just touch it? (link)
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All guys are different. It is true that the head is generally the most sensitive, but that doesn't mean you should concentrate only there; for one thing, that same sensitivity can make extended handling annoying after a while.
The best thing you can do is to experiment with different ways of touching and get feedback from him on what he likes. Don't be afraid to ask directly "Does that feel good?" or, "Do you like that?" If these questions are asked in sensuous whispers, that can be a pretty major turn-on too!
Just make sure that you're asking very basic questions with one-syllable words and simple answers. When a guy is turned on, it's very hard for him to think - Yes or No is pretty much all he's capable of.
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i've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks and he wouldn't kiss me but he said he really liked me. so when i went in to kiss him he backed off and i got really mad and yelled at him why he wouldn't kiss me if he liked me so much. he told me he didn't like to be kissed on the mouth but he does like to be kissed on the neck and stuff. i don't kno what to do. i like to be kissed on the mouth and he's driving me insane.
please help!! (link)
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We all have our hang-ups. Apparently, this is one of his for some reason, and unfortunately it's something that most people have no problem with whatsoever - indeed, it's something that almost everyone LIKES to do, and it's considered a vital part of a relationship.
Don't count on him ever really getting over it. He may learn to tolerate kissing after a while, but it could be many years (if ever) before he learns to like it.
I would say that if he's unwilling to meet you halfway on this matter, you may need to consider whether you can continue with this relationship. Physical affection is important, and if he can't give you what you need (especially if it's as simple as a kiss) then you can and should move on rather than hang around and be driven insane.
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hello i am a 13yr old female from australia
does anyone here sing?
i am an OK singer (i dont like to brag) but i have absolutly no confidence. i was just asking does anyone know how i can get my confidence up so i can sing in front of people??
PS my friends really really want to hear me sing but every time i go to my body stops me.
THANX!!!
-natalie (link)
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If you have a video camera, try that. You don't have to actually show the tape to anyone, but it will get you used to the idea that "someone is watching you."
Then, you might try singing as part of a group. If you go to church, ask if you can join with the choir sometime, or get into a club at school. It may be easier if your voice is one among a crowd of people.
Over time, you'll be able to build your confidence until you can perform solo on stage. Good luck!
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Me (age 25) and my girlfriend (age 23), 3 days a go were having a brush, we were both wearing our under wears(both boxer type) and after we were both aroused she realised that there was a small stain on her under wear, we dont know if it was mine or hers... but we are both freaking out. So, please tell me... could the stain have caused pregnancy? what is the probability? (link)
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The previous responder was half-right. It is extremely unlikely, but it is not quite impossible and sperm CAN travel through cloth.
Just for your peace of mind, it might be a good idea to invest in an over-the-counter test. It can't hurt.
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(I’m a Female)
I told Sandra how I have feelings for her for 6 years, we been friends for 8 years. I wanted to let her know about my true self and what was bothering me. (But I wasn’t asking her out.) And I thought it’ll be a good idea to tell her in a chat room because I was nervous talking to her face to face.
I can’t find out who I am yet. I don’t know if I like women because she is the first women crush I ever had. And I only went out with two guys and I never went too far with men and I get curious how it’ll be like.
Sandra answered me in the chat room:
“I’m fine with it, not saying I feel the same way because I really don’t know what gender I like yet, I’m not looking for a relationship at the moment so I not looking a them like that. But I’m fine with it.”
I’m glad that she said that. Right after our chat online she asks if she can come by, so she did.
So the next day she was online and we chat about work and school. I wanted to talk to her about what she meant of her not knowing what gender she likes. We are on the same page trying to see if we both like the same sex or might be bi-curious. I ask her and she responded: “Don’t know. I just never felt a pull towards any direction, to guys but like I said I ‘m not looking for a relationship right now”
She had to get off line (she told me that before I ask the question) because her mother needed the computer. I ask if I can call her and she called me.
I told her “I was just curious of what your reason is,” she said “oh” but I had the feeling she didn’t want to talk about because it got all silent on the phone. So I changed the subject. Why is that? I just want a friend to friend conversation like I do with my friend Eddie who is bisexual. We always talk about same sex relationship and his relationship about his boyfriend. What is the deal?
(link)
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The deal is that she is not as comfortable with her sexuality as you are. She also may be worried that anything she says on the subject might seem like an invitation for you to "make a move" and she's obviously not ready for that. She's probably scared to death that in the midst of a conversation about being bi-curious or what have you, you might suggest kissing each other to see how it feels.
If this is important to you, you do need to talk about it face-to-face, but not under circumstances that will make her more nervous than she obviously already is. I suggest you try to talk about it in a public/private setting, like a park with few people around or a coffee shop corner where you won't be overheard. That way, she knows you won't "try anything".
I'm just guessing that this is what she's nervous about. It could be any number of things, but it seems most logical that she is in some way uncertain about her own sexuality and not quite ready to come to terms with it or even define it. When she says "I'm not ready for a relationship", it means exactly what it says, but it also means that she's not ready to even talk about one with you - and she thinks that's the way a conversation with you will go. And I can't help but think she's probably right; I imagine you would try to initiate a relationship with her if you could.
Be patient, and be her friend before trying to be her girlfriend. You may find in the end that this is all you can ever be, but if you push too much for what you may not be able to have, you run the risk of losing it all.
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im 16/f and i really wanna get my lip pierced but my mum thinks it looks awful. What can i do to convince her??
and i havent told her whether i want the bottom or top done yet coz i cant decide!
plz help! (link)
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Well, I'm with your mom on this one - I also think it looks awful. If it were me, you wouldn't be able to convince me under any circumstances.
The problem with a piercing of that nature is that is heals up very quickly when left empty - therefore, it's not something you can take out from time to time if the situation calls for it (for instance, if you get a job and your employer won't allow it). That's the main reason I'd say "no". If you can come up with a counter to that, it would be your best bet, but I don't think there is one. Things like "it's my body, my choice" and "what's the big deal?" are unlikely to cut any ice. She likely feels that to have you going around with a lip ring would be a poor reflection on her as a mother, and to be a good mother is one of our species' primal instincts. You're not going to win against that.
My best advice to you (and I know it's not what you want to hear) is to wait for two years. Then you can get it done with or without her permission, and avoid the entire issue.
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this weekend i was with my brother and some of his friends and we were all driving around in my new car a 2007 escalade. I was driving adn it was raining and late at night and i have only had my license for about 3 months. we were coming around the corner and hit another car totaling mine and theirs. right away my brother took the blame for it and told me not to worry about it since he has been driving for a few eyars now and wouldnt get in as much trouble as i would. since the other car didnt see i was driving it worked out fine but now i feel awful that he took the blame for this but i know that if i came forward my parents would kill me. what should i do?
(link)
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This is a tough one. Your brother shouldn't have lied and you shouldn't have let him. However, the aftermath of an accident is a very stressful moment to say the least, and I don't think either of you can be blamed for not thinking entirely clearly. I've been there and done that.
Please understand that auto accidents will happen, especially to young drivers under poor driving conditions. Rain at night is something that takes getting used to (it probably would have been better if he HAD been the one driving in the first place, but hey, that's hindsight). You probably were not driving recklessly, you just slipped up a little. And yes, you would have gotten in some trouble, but it would not have been the end of the world.
As for what to do now - I think that it would be best if you both come clean, at least to your parents. It is something you need to do together, partly because you both did wrong, and partly because you may need each other's support if your parents are very upset. Obviously I don't know them, but if you were my kids I would understand that it was a mistake made in a very difficult moment.
Whether you should come clean with the law is another matter, because on top of whatever driving violations your brother incurred, there might also be the matter of filing a false report. The District Attorney will not be nearly as lenient as he would have been if you'd told the truth from the beginning, and you can count on having the full penalty applied against you, most likely a Careless Driving charge, a hefty fine and points off your license. Depending on how many points you currently have, you might actually lose your license until you're 18.
It's not fair for your brother to absorb that damage to his driving record or the increase in his insurance costs, but he DID volunteer for it. If I were you, I would offer to pay whatever fines he incurs and perhaps some portion of his insurance, which will surely go up as a result of the accident. At this point, that would be the best and fairest thing to do.
One more thing. Right or wrong, your brother has shown you some extraordinary love and loyalty. Don't EVER forget that.
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Normally, I can get my photos uploaded from my Digital camera.
The model is a Vivicam 4345, 4.0 megapixel.
The computer cant reconise that the USB is plugged in, I have the lead plugged into the USB port, and into my camera, my camera is switched to settings and has been tuned on, yet when I go to 'My Computer' the 'removable hardwear' icon isnt there, so I cant transfer my files
Please help!!
Thanks (link)
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It may be that your camera is trying to grab a drive letter that is not available.
Try this:
(1) Right-click on the "My Computer" icon and bring up the Manage console. You'll need to be an administrator to do this.
(2) Click on Disk Management.
(3) See if your camera is there. If it is, check the drive letter. If it's the same as another existing drive, you've found the problem - here's how to fix it:
(4) Right-click the camera drive, either in the top half of the window or the bottom half, and select Change Drive Letter and Paths.
(5) Change the drive letter to one that is not in use.
(6) Close everything. Your camera should be available under the new drive letter.
If that doesn't work, then odds are it's a hardware problem. Try using a different USB cable or a different port on the computer. Make sure your camera battery is fully charged. If you can, try plugging someone else's camera into your computer and see if it works.
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Okay I’m a woman who is bi.
I finally told my friend that I have feelings for her. She told me she was fine with it but she is not sure what gender she likes yet and she is not looking for a relationship with either of them.
I told her I was glad about it because I too am in the same position I just wanted to tell her.
Anyways I told her that I was jealous when our friend Jack ask her out (he did that so many times) he is stupid because every time he ask her out it’s the same thing. She calls me and tells me and I ask her if she feels the same way she respond "no I see him as a brother". (this is before I told her how I felt) and this year she called me and said “no I don’t see him in that way” and then jack calls me too and I ask him about it and he respond she told him maybe.
So when the day I told her how I felt and about my jealousy of Jack I ask her if she like him more than a friend and she said "No I see him as a brother." I said "well tell him that, cause he goes on and on about how you kept him hanging." I will tell him that when he calls me again” Alice said.
And what I don’t get, Alice told me she said "I told jack no" and jack said "she didn’t say any thing" so he ask her "tell me yes or no." she said "you wont get mad? Well the answer is no."
So WTF why did it take her 2 months just to say that! I know she kept on ignoring his question. But she now says it after I told her how I felt! But jack did say to her give me a straight answer. I don’t know what you think?
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You describe Jack as a "friend" - presumably, he is a friend to both of you. It is therefore understandable that Alice wanted to avoid hurting his feelings by giving him a straight "no". It is an unfortunate error that people make when it comes to relationships; we don't want to break people's hearts, especially if they are friends, so we allow them to hope when there is none.
This is something you should probably view as a warning sign, in that she may treat you the same way. I'm not saying that she's doing it maliciously; she probably has the best of intentions and thinks that she's "letting them down easy" when in reality she's just prolonging the agony. My guess is that when she DID tell Jack "no" the first time, she did it in a fairly ambiguous way (for instance, she might have said, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." She thought that was "no," while Jack thought it was "maybe later.")
My opinion is that she should have given Jack a straight, unambiguous answer as soon as she knew what her own feelings were - from what I can tell, that was moment one. It would have been more respectful to him to have said from the beginning, "I think you're looking for a romantic relationship, and that's something I simply can't give you. I just don't have those feelings for you. I don't want to go out with you on a date and give you false hope where there is none."
My advice to you is that if you should decide to pursue a relationship with her at some point, demand your straight answers a little sooner than Jack did. It will save heartache all around.
One more thing - if you actually do end up going out with Alice, be prepared for Jack to be more than a little upset about it. It's none of his business, but he'll be pissed off anyway.
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i wanna get into photography
how do i start..
what are good cameras
how do i get black and white photos
and are polaroids still around? (link)
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How you start depends on your ultimate goal, but as it is with everything else, you start by learning the basics. A high-school level photo class can tell you about the terminology and the essentials of photography, or for that matter you can just get a good book. There's no real substitute for getting out there and shooting pictures, though, so once you've got a fair understanding of what things like F-stops are, and what an ISO number is, and how aperture relates to depth of field, get a camera and start shooting.
As far as how you get started, it depends on what you want to do. Assuming you're talking about making a career out of it, a good way to start is to find a local studio that does "event" photography: things like high school dances, college parties, kids' sporting events, and so on. The pay is not good but it gets you some real experience. The next step up from there depends on what direction you want to go in - a journalistic photographer would take a different route than someone who does portraits or nature.
One of the easiest ways to make money at photography is to do weddings, but they can also be very stressful - after all, if you mess up, you ruin the most important day in someone's life! Don't even think about doing weddings until you have (1) at least two years of practical experience, and (2) a full set of backup equipment. You can sometimes practice for a "real" wedding by doing photos for a friend or relative at their wedding, in addition to the ones by their paid photographer (remember that it's his bread and butter - don't get in his way or otherwise make it hard for him to do his job!)
Equipment: I have a Nikon D50 digital, and it works well for me. I started with film because that's what was available when I started, but digital is MUCH easier and, since you don't have to actually print your pictures to see them, far less expensive in the long run. With a digital camera, you can shoot two hundred "practice" photos and print the ONE that comes out right! You probably don't want to get a film camera unless you're interested in pursuing photography solely as an art form (don't count on making any money at it for a while if that's the way you go).
Black and white can be easily produced from either color negatives or digital - simply have them printed in black and white. Once again, if you're going in the "serious art" direction, you'll want to be shooting on B&W film (probably only available in a specialty camera store these days) and, if you really want to get into it, you can even print it yourself. To do that, though, you're talking about putting up some major coin for darkroom equipment (not to mention the darkroom itself!) It's a terrific hobby and a noteworthy art form, but unless you're the next Ansel Adams you ain't gonna make a living at it.
Polaroid is essentially dead technology. Its only real purpose, aside from a novelty item, was to produce instant pictures - this is done with digital nowadays. They're still around, but they are pointless.
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This will sound very akward but I need answers...
If a guy's penis is rubbed against a girl's vagina, and the girl last had her period about a week and a half before that .. is there a chance that the girl might get pregnant if she's still a virgin?
Please don't give me websites and links and all that...I need serious help with this one.
:( (link)
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Yes, it is possible - not likely, but possible. It can and has happened.
The only way to know for certain is to see a doctor and be tested. Over-the-counter tests are about 98% effective when used properly, and would probably be a good place to start.
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anybody live in south east texas? (link)
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Yes, there are quite a lot of people living there. Last time I checked, the population of Houston alone is about four million.
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I'm 16/f, my best friend is 16/m. I used to be very clingy like and we fought a lot, and I'd always call him like 50 times a day to talk about it, and it was like everyday of every week because we fought so much. For the 2 weeks or so, I just decided to not care. If he wants to call to solve the problem, he can, I don't want to anymore. Thing is, now he WANTS to talk to me. He calls so much more, asks to hang out, everything. Why is this? Right when I stop giving him all my attention he wants it back? (link)
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You hit the nail right on the head - right when you stop giving him attention, he wants it.
The problem as I see it is one of extremes. You were, in your own words, "very clingy". Then, after that became a problem, you withdrew completely. If you're going to remain friends, you're going to need to find some kind of middle ground.
One thing to realize about guys is that when they have a problem with something, they don't always want to talk through it; a lot of the time, they have to figure some things out on their own. If you were calling every day of every week to talk things out, you were never giving him any time to think them through. This becomes unbearable to a guy after a while, and it's probably why you were having so many problems; none of them were really getting solved.
You'll both need to find some kind of balance between constant contact and none. That's all.
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Hey!
K so, I got a new babysitting job this weekend, and I havnt met the kids yet. All I know is that they are a three year old boy and a five year old girl. I have to babysit for about 6 hours, from 11 am to 5 pm. and I'm not sure if they are going to take a nap or not, but I need to try and find some things to do with them. Like I can take them out in the back yard and stuff, but six hours is a long time. Is there anything I can bring to get through the boring parts of the day? Oh, ps, it's supposed to rain, so I kinda doubt I will be able to take them outside for very long.
Thanks! (link)
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Art supplies are good. Paper, crayons, safety scissors, tape, and coloring books will keep them very happy for a while. It would be appropriate to ask the parents if you can be reimbursed up to ten dollars for such items (bring them the receipts). A ream of white copy paper and a box of 64 crayolas will go a long way (for the three-year-old, get a box of the big fat crayons).
Books are useful. They probably already have some, but they might be interested in hearing some new stories. Raid your old stuff for Dr. Seuss and similar literature.
Bring some fun music to dance around to, if you can. Dance with them and don't worry about looking foolish - they will not pass judgement. If you don't have any age-appropriate music of your own, you can probably find some at the local library.
It might be a good idea to bring ONE movie that they can watch, but this would be something to do once you've exhausted all the other possibilities. Most parents don't like it when a sitter just plops their kids in front of the TV, but there are times when it's a valuable distraction. Make sure that what you bring is something they both can enjoy. Disney/Pixar movies, of course, are the standard.
The three-year-old will probably want to take a nap at some point, so bring something you can do with just the five-year-old, like an age-appropriate game. Again, she may have her own things that she will want to do with you. I hope you like Barbies or Bratz dolls, because you can pretty much count on that activity.
Don't forget the classics! Hide-and-seek is lots of fun for kids of this age group. Let them win.
Finally, whatever you bring along, bring it in a big bag and withdraw activities one at a time. If you pull everything out at once, it will not last nearly as long. Let them do one thing and get tired of it before introducing something new.
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hey
so i have a crush on a guy in one of my classes and i've been talking to him alot for the past week...we won't really talk at school because we don't see eachother. but so far we've talked just about everynight since last tuesday. (4/24) and the other night we talked from 12- 3:30 AM and then the other night we talked from like 11-12:30 on the phone. and i'm trying to flirt with him more but i don't know how to without being too obvious or sounding stupid. i'm not sure how to hint to him i like him without coming out and saying i like you. but i mean if you talk to a guy from 11:45- 3:30 on a monday night thats gotta mean something right?? Ugh, I'm just not sure how i should hint to him that i like him. any ideas? (link)
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If this guy is talking to you on the phone this much, then one of two things is going on:
(1) He's rapidly becoming sick of you, and he's about to snap.
(2) He likes you back and is waiting for YOU to make a move or give him an opening.
Fortunately, it shouldn't be hard to figure out which one is the case; generally, people give pretty clear signs when someone is driving them insane. If he seems happy to see you or hear from you, then you can rest assured that #2 is the case.
At this point, I'd say simple flirtation might be a step backward, because it's already well-established that he likes you. It is now time for something more direct.
Suggest to him that instead of talking on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, you actually get together and spend time in the same room. This is the best possible opening he could imagine for asking you on a date - if he doesn't take the opportunity, it's time to wonder why. Of course, it's not the '50s anymore; you can ask him on a date if you want to.
Bottom line: he likes you. He's just being shy about it. You might need to make the next move here if you want things to move along.
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One of my eyes, the colored part seems more up and the other seems more down. They are supposed to be aligned. I dunno what happened. Can this be fixed? (link)
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Nobody is perfectly symmetrical; we all have one eye a little higher than the other, or a lopsided grin, or something of that nature. It's entirely possible that you notice this flaw but no one else does.
However, if it affects your vision or is otherwise problematic, you can get glasses that will force your eyes into alignment; they work by making it so you can see in focus only if your eyes are where they "should" be. Over time, they become accustomed to being in the right places, and you can discard the glasses.
See an ophthalmologist if you feel the need.
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this weekend i was with some of my guy friends, and then i was alone with one of them, and he told me i had really pretty eyes. I said thanks, and stupidly said, "you have really pretty eyes too!".......i know, akward.
#1) Was that a dumb thing to say?, did it insult him, or just make things akward??
#2) Was he flirting with me??, or just telling me i have pretty eyes??
thanks (link)
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#1) No, it wasn't a dumb thing to say. "Pretty" isn't usually an adjective one uses on a guy, but for some reason it's okay when referring to the eyes. Now, if you'd said he had really pretty biceps or something, he probably would have been a little weirded out. Only a guy who's totally insecure in his own masculinity would be insulted by something like that.
#2) Yes, it was a flirt. Here's the thing about guys, though - we'll sometimes flirt with girls even if we don't intend to date them. I'm not saying he didn't mean it; he almost certainly DID mean it, but he might have been, as you say, just telling you that you have pretty eyes.
You don't mention whether you'd like to get a little closer with this guy. However, I'd say that he's given you an opening to do exactly that, if you want to. What you should probably do now is try to find out exactly how he DID mean that compliment; whether it was a casual remark, or whether it was something he hoped would show you how interested he is. I think you need to do a little flirting of your own, and see how he responds. Try the following:
(1) Whenever you're hanging around together, like when you're with a group a friends, make a point of being close to him.
(2) Brush his hand with yours every once in a while. Give him a little hug when you go your separate ways. Smile every time you see him.
(3) If he plays sports, go to his games and cheer for him.
(4) Call him on the phone "just to chat". Or text message him frequently, whatever it is that you do.
(5) Get caught staring at him. When this happens, look away for a moment, and then look back and smile as if to say, "Oops! You caught me!"
(6) If you can possibly work it into the conversation, tell him that he's the kind of guy that girls want for a boyfriend. Follow that up with something along the lines of how you wish more guys were like him.
(7) If after all this, he still doesn't get the point, wait until you're alone again sometime, then casually mention, "Just so you know, if you were to suddenly kiss me right now, I'd be totally okay with that."
Good luck!
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I called my friend Sara and i ask her out on the phone. i told her that i had a dream about her that we went out. she said it was romanic. i ask her if she will go out with me and she said she'll think about it. a week later i ask her if she thougt of it yet and she reply she'll think about it. its been a month and no word about it. i vist her and my other friend too last week and i put my arms around them. we all 3 are great friends and we all 3 hit each other for fun. and when Sara and Angel hit me right after, I put my arms around there shoulders i said, "i love when girls hit me" and Sara got grossed out and push away my arm. why did she get grossed out? i ketp on leaning on her and she trun to ask me why i'm doing that i said just because. so does she see me as a brother? (link)
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I think she's given you your answer, and not in a very thoughtful way, I might add. If she's still "thinking about it" after a month, she's not thinking about whether she wants to date you, she's thinking about how to let you down easy.
You have a choice:
One, just assume the answer is No, and go on with your life.
Two, ask her plain and simple if she ever intends to go out with you. If she says she still wants to think about it, then tell her, "You've been thinking about it for a month now. If the answer is No, please just tell me and don't leave me hanging." I can almost guarantee you that she will say "No", and then you can once again get on with your life.
By all means continue to treat her as a friend, but give up for now any thoughts of anything more - unless SHE makes the first move in that direction. If that ever happens, you can and should expect a straight answer as far as how she feels about you.
Oh, and as far as the thing with putting your arms around their shoulders and them getting "grossed out"... it sounds like you were trying to be funny, and they just didn't think it was. I don't think it went any deeper than that.
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