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WTF (this is confusing)
Okay I’m a woman who is bi.
I finally told my friend that I have feelings for her. She told me she was fine with it but she is not sure what gender she likes yet and she is not looking for a relationship with either of them.
I told her I was glad about it because I too am in the same position I just wanted to tell her.
Anyways I told her that I was jealous when our friend Jack ask her out (he did that so many times) he is stupid because every time he ask her out it’s the same thing. She calls me and tells me and I ask her if she feels the same way she respond "no I see him as a brother". (this is before I told her how I felt) and this year she called me and said “no I don’t see him in that way” and then jack calls me too and I ask him about it and he respond she told him maybe.
So when the day I told her how I felt and about my jealousy of Jack I ask her if she like him more than a friend and she said "No I see him as a brother." I said "well tell him that, cause he goes on and on about how you kept him hanging." I will tell him that when he calls me again” Alice said.
And what I don’t get, Alice told me she said "I told jack no" and jack said "she didn’t say any thing" so he ask her "tell me yes or no." she said "you wont get mad? Well the answer is no."
So WTF why did it take her 2 months just to say that! I know she kept on ignoring his question. But she now says it after I told her how I felt! But jack did say to her give me a straight answer. I don’t know what you think?
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You describe Jack as a "friend" - presumably, he is a friend to both of you. It is therefore understandable that Alice wanted to avoid hurting his feelings by giving him a straight "no". It is an unfortunate error that people make when it comes to relationships; we don't want to break people's hearts, especially if they are friends, so we allow them to hope when there is none.
This is something you should probably view as a warning sign, in that she may treat you the same way. I'm not saying that she's doing it maliciously; she probably has the best of intentions and thinks that she's "letting them down easy" when in reality she's just prolonging the agony. My guess is that when she DID tell Jack "no" the first time, she did it in a fairly ambiguous way (for instance, she might have said, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." She thought that was "no," while Jack thought it was "maybe later.")
My opinion is that she should have given Jack a straight, unambiguous answer as soon as she knew what her own feelings were - from what I can tell, that was moment one. It would have been more respectful to him to have said from the beginning, "I think you're looking for a romantic relationship, and that's something I simply can't give you. I just don't have those feelings for you. I don't want to go out with you on a date and give you false hope where there is none."
My advice to you is that if you should decide to pursue a relationship with her at some point, demand your straight answers a little sooner than Jack did. It will save heartache all around.
One more thing - if you actually do end up going out with Alice, be prepared for Jack to be more than a little upset about it. It's none of his business, but he'll be pissed off anyway.
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