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Best friend.
I'm 16/f, my best friend is 16/m. I used to be very clingy like and we fought a lot, and I'd always call him like 50 times a day to talk about it, and it was like everyday of every week because we fought so much. For the 2 weeks or so, I just decided to not care. If he wants to call to solve the problem, he can, I don't want to anymore. Thing is, now he WANTS to talk to me. He calls so much more, asks to hang out, everything. Why is this? Right when I stop giving him all my attention he wants it back?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
guys are complicated.
but as the saying goes, "you never know what you want till its gone."
from what i can figure i think as soon as you stopped, he was so used to hearing his phone ring that he now misses the sound of the phone ringing plus your voice.
he probably misses the familiar about you calling him a lot and talking to you.
i suggest since calling him a lot was sort of the problem, cutting back on the calls but not stopping them completely.
i really hope fifty times a day was an overstatement, so i'll say maybe one or two times a day or week, your choice.
power to you for making the decision to stop being the one to always solve the problem.
but a friendship is two-way, both of you should know that, especially if you want to keep the friendship.
i think i rambled a little bit, but i hope i helped. :3
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You hit the nail right on the head - right when you stop giving him attention, he wants it.
The problem as I see it is one of extremes. You were, in your own words, "very clingy". Then, after that became a problem, you withdrew completely. If you're going to remain friends, you're going to need to find some kind of middle ground.
One thing to realize about guys is that when they have a problem with something, they don't always want to talk through it; a lot of the time, they have to figure some things out on their own. If you were calling every day of every week to talk things out, you were never giving him any time to think them through. This becomes unbearable to a guy after a while, and it's probably why you were having so many problems; none of them were really getting solved.
You'll both need to find some kind of balance between constant contact and none. That's all.
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