Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84186
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how did gary sinese in Forrest Gump look like he had no legs when he really does? im really confused. i mean the movie was made in 1994.. did they have that much technology to edit all that stuff? or maybe.. since they made forrest in all those old tapes of stuff, but still. (link)
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Well, while it looked like he was sitting in a wheel chair with a flat seat, like the ones you have seen, there was actually a pouch, or deep pocket, where his lower legs were hidden. NOt very comfortable, I would imagine.
Michele
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ok.. well.. this has 3 parts to it...
ok..part one:: i had sex with my boyfriend the day after my period, we did not use protection... now im not sure if it is possible to get pregnant the day after your period (i read you can not get pregnant one week after & one week before)... the second part:: he and i got into a fight one day, i got extremely drunk and had unsafe sex with another guy 1 week (5days) before my period.. again (i read you can not get pregnant one week after & one week before).. third part:: well i am currently late for my period.. not many days but a few... but i am never late... i have never been late.. ever...
do you think it is possible i am pregnant, or just stressing and so my peroid is late.. and if yes you think i am...who do you think is most likey to be the father????
(link)
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What you understand about when you can and cannot get pregnant is false. The only time you can't get pregnant when you have unprotected sex is when you ALREADY ARE PREGNANT.
So, while it is LESS LIKELY that you will get pregnant during your period, the day after your period, etc, etc. it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE. So you could very well be pregnant. It may be more likely that the second boy is the father, but only a paternity test will tell 100% for sure.
Depending on what YOU are going to do about this pregnancy, will depend on whether or not each boy has to know. If you decide to have this baby that both boys will be required to have tests to see who the father is, because if you keep the baby, they will be required to help support it, even if they don't want to see it. Unless your parents become the guardians and raise it themselves, but then you and the boy will have to sign over parental rights. If you are going to have an abortion, then if you have the money, or your parents pay, then you don't have to involve the boys, but it you want them to help, then you have to determine who is the father.
If it turns you that you are not pregnant, then consider yourself lucky. You dodged a bullet, and never, never ever have unprotected sex again. And by the way, now you also know why alcohol and sex do not mix.
Michele
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i read a question on here once where someone asked what the little "v" lookin thing on a girls lower back was, since not a lot of girls have it i guess.. and someone said its a muscle. i searched for the question but couldnt find it. if its a muscle, how can i tone my back so i can get it? certain exercises or anything. 16/f (link)
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Rowing exercises strengthen your lower back.
Many gyms have rowing machines. It is an awkward machine and an awkward exercise, but it does work. You may be able to simulate the exercise at home. Maybe with those large elastics bands that are used for exercise. Look up rowing exercise on google and you will find more information about it.
Michele
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(14/F)
Hello, I was hoping you could help me out on this problem; it may be a little long, sorry.
I don’t know how to start, I mean, this is about my guy friends. I don’t know which ones I should spend my time with, and which I should not. Let me start from the beginning. I have these guy friends which I have known for about 3 years. They were with me since elementary school, through out middle school. Three out of the five of them, I still talk to throughout this summer. We are all going to different high schools, just to let you know. Okay, so I have realised which out of the five, are my true friends and which weren’t. So that was settled, I would spend my time with those three and my girl friends. Then, they are the guys from middle school I met this April, grade 8 year. They have always been in my school, but I had never talked to them before. They are three guys. We had our laughs and jokes and everything through the year and up to Graduation. At Graduation, we took many pictures and had a great time. After that, the only time we talk is on msn. Okay, that was some background information, and here is the difficult part. The three guys I mentioned earlier (The one I went to elementary school with), they actually call me up and talk to me and make plans. So I know that they care. The three guys that I met in April are a different story. Seems like I always have to start a conversion with them, they never start one with me. One of those three guys, lets call him C, he actually starts a conversation SOMETIMES, and talks properly. We met up ONCE. The other guy, lets call him N, he NEVER starts a conversation with me on msn, I always have to start it, and when he talks, it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me. The last one, lets call him B, he only talks to me if I start a conversation with him, or if it is in the night and no one else is online. The other three guys (the ones I went to elementary school with) they would always start a conversation with me and wouldn’t hesitate. They are always there for me. See, those three guys, (B, N, C), they are close with my some of my other girl friends, but it doesn’t seem like that with me. I mean, one of my best friends, she always on msn and therefore her and N got closer. B and my other friend are probably going to start dating soon, and C is always busy with his own stuff. I use to have a crush on B and N, and I know I am just jealous that they are all so close and I am not. I have read and I know, that I should pay attention to the people who care about me, not the others one. But there is always that side of me that wants to talk to them all day. I feel horrible, because I feel like I am giving much more importance to the ones who do not care rather then ones who do. I just really don't know, if I should try and “save” the friendship that we have or should I not because we are all going to different high schools anyways. I should not make them a priority in my life when I am just an option in there’s. How can I stop thinking about them and start focusing on the ones who really do care for me? I really do try, but something just keeps pulling me back to them. I already know what they think of me, and they do like me. i guess i just want to keep my image in their minds, ake sure they dont forget me.
Thank you so much, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and helping me out.
(link)
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HI HOney,
Thanks for leaving a question in my in box. I understand your concern, and I hope that I can help. When we are young we get to meet sooo many people. Kids we go to school with, kids in our neighborhoods, cousins, friends of our friends. And if we belong to a dance class or girls scouts, we meet even more. (I know, guys too.) And of course, very friendly people, like I think you are, want to hold on to all of these friendships. It seems to me that you put a great emphasis on friendship, and that is great. That will serve you well all through your life. But you can't put those feelings into other people. Some people are just happy with one or two friends. Some people can only be friends with one to two people at a time.
And that is not all.....
I understand your wanting to be as important to B, N, and C, as they are to you. But we cannot place feelings of what is important and what is not, inside of people. If we could, all parents would be able to instill in their kids the importance of growing up to be doctors or lawyers, or be good, and stay out of trouble, etc. etc.
So you understand you can't make someone feel something they don't. But don't despair. You are friends with these boys, and they will not forget you. You are just not uppermost in their minds right now. For whatever reason they are each interested in persuing a closer relationship with the other girls that you mentioned. And i probably has nothing to do with you, personally.
Now I would venture a guess that these relationships that they are working on have a good chance of not going very far, or lasting very long. And the reason is their ages. You are all so young and if you have been observant, you have known many young people who have liked each other this week, and two weeks later, they like someone else.
I suggest you let some time pass before you initiate any contact with B,N, or C. Wait a few months, I would even suggest 6 months, then out of the blue, IM them, or make a point to run into one of them, and I'll bet they'll be happy to see you, and you guys will pick up where you left off, and a closer relationship may even grow out of it.
But be careful here, because if they felt that they could have had you before, easily, they may not put any effort into a relationship and just want to use you. Always be careful of that. Don't let people use you.
Another thing, You are starting school, in about a month, I got the impression that you are starting high school. for the first time? Is that right?
Well, you are going to meet sooo many new people, boys and girls and you are going to be so busy. You'll hardly have time to think about B,N, & C. And when you do run into them, or talk to them on-line, you'll have a lot to talk about. YOu can ask them about their high schools, and who did they meet, and what classes are they taking, etc. etc.
If you want B, N or C to show more interest in you, I can tell you this. Boys (and men) like girls (and women) who have confidence in themselves. Confidence is very sexy.
Good luck to you dear, and please feel free to write again if you like, or if you need me to explain further on something I wrote here.
GOod luck to you
Michele
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im consideering the idea of having sex but im just so confused about al the information that has been given to me, like some one told me that once you start having sex you ahve to go to the docctor to check yyou once in a while from diseases, not like stds , but the kind of diseases you can have when your sexually active like girl diseases i dont know how to explain it , though im so afraid about the consequences so whats your advice? (link)
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Hi honey, thanks for leaving a question in my in box. You are smart to start thinking about all of the consequences and responsibilities that go along with becoming sexually active. I see that you are 17 and that is good. Much better than 14, which is the age that some girls experience sex. There are a lot. Two things you have to learn to prevent before becoming sexually active is pregnancy and std's. And of course, to make matters worse, only girls can get pregnant and only girls can get some of the std's.
Let's deal with std's first.
Boys can pass on these std's but only girls can get them:
chlamidia, yeast infections, HPV (human papiloma virus - not sure I spelled that one correctly.)
The std's like syphillus and gonnareah (sp?) are bacterial infections and both men and women can get them and you'll know when you have one (eventually) because you will become very sick and need antibiotics.
You do have to go to a doctor to have chlamydia diagnosed. Yeast infections can now be treated at home with monistat which you can get at the drug store. HPV virus, now has a vaccine which is controversial because it is recommmended before girls become sexually active, so some doctors recommend it for 11 year olds. And it is a series of three vaccines. And they are expensive. But the vaccine is supposed to prevent cervical cancer which they believe is caused buy the HPV virus. (which has no other symtoms by the way - you can have it for years and get cervical cancer much later in life. ) Cervical cancer kills 10,000 women each year in the US.
Oh yes there is also HIV or the AID virus which can be transmitted sexually and both women and men can get AIDS. The very best way to prevent almost all of these std's is by using condoms. EVen if you end up on birth control. You should always use condoms up to and until you get married. Oh yes, I almost forgot Herpes, is also an STD and both women and men can get it and carry it and pass it on, and it stays with you forever. No cure. Not deathly, just a nuisance.
There is medication for it.
Honey if and when you become sexually active you should be seeing a gynecologist at least one a year. You need to be a "patient" of record for a local ob/gyn incase you do have an emergency and need to see your doctor right away. She/he can give you all the same information that I am giving you. I know it is nerver wracking, the anticipation of going for your appointment and having to get in that gyn chair and put your feet in those stirrups. But think of if this way, millions of women do it every day, And these are the healthiest women. Doctors, meaning your OB/gyn can find issues before they become big problems. They do not judge you, they are there to help you, and they understand how you feel. They help women. And they see many naked women every day, and one more doesn't mean a thing to them.
I urge you to see a doctor if you are going to become sexually active. The ob/gyn's would prefer that you do. They wish all young girls would see an OB/gyn yearly. They screen for diseases and cancer on each visit. You can discuss ANYTHING with them. They will not insist on telling your parents on anything.
Later in life, when you are married, (or not) and do want to have a baby, only seeing an OB/GYN will ensure that you have a healthy baby and a normal child birth. So your OB /GYN is a very important person in your life. I still see one and I am well beyond child bearing age. And I only have one sexual partner, but I still see an OB/GYN every year. Now we are also screening for breast cancer with mamograms. These are all things that women do so that they can ensure for themselves a long and healthy life.
You can choose to go to a female OB/GYN, and you may find that easier for you. I hope that you do decide to go. YOu can ask her the same questions you asked me, and even more. She will not lie to you.
The other thing I want to caution you on is this.
You must consider this, when you go to bed with a young man, it is like going to bed (y0u know I mean sex here right) with everyone that he has gone to bed with. So if he contracted a disease, a virus from a previous bed partner, then you stand a good chance of getting the same disease or virus. and some of them can stay with you for the rest of your life. So just be choosy about who you go to bed with. BEcome friends first and get to know each other. See what you can find out about his past If he has had too many partners to count, it is a good chance that you might catch something from him, and you will just be another one of many, instead of some one special.
I hope that you take care dear.
Michele
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i want to look this the girl on the far left of this picture. about how tall do you think she is and how much does she weigh? how do i tone my body like hers? i like her shoulders but i don't know how to get them like that.
http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v99/244/38/1135350031/n1135350031_30075476_7638.jpg (link)
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YOu can work to get your body to look this way. BEcause you already have the basics. A woman's body. wider hips, slender waist, wider shoulders. Now if it is all covered in fat, or if you are not muscular, then you may just look too skinny or look more like the other girls in the pictures.
To much weight and fat which is hiding your body's natural definitions.
So it is time to start dieting and working out to build muscle. Tones muscles will help you to look more symetrical, and a low fat diet will help you to loose the fat that is covereing your muscles and natural curves. A proper diet with enough protein will help you build muscle and not add fat.
there is lots of information out there. Using free weights is still the way to go, because you can target all of the areas of your body with muscle toneing exercises. It is easy no, it is worth it yes, and you will feel and look wonderful.
YOu can join a gym, or get a book or DVD on weight lifting for women and get some small weights, 3, 5 and 10 lbs and ankle weights and start working out.
HOney a shape like that does not come in a bottle, if it did we would all have one. You have to work at it. GO FOR IT!
GOod luck to you
Michele
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i dont knw how to explain it but i am feeling all the negative feelings at once....
BEFORE YOU MOVE TO THE NEXT QUESTION
i really am not a negative person though there is alot of negativity around me. in fact i think i am the only positive person in my surroundings. alot depends on me sticking around... if you'd like think of it as though i have no other option. or worse i either stay or die....
i cant get out of the house (i am not here to discuss why i am not allowed) and i accept that, (its just for summer when i am back to my college) but i've gained 16 pounds in less than 2 months. i am rotting really. i never go out i sleep in the morning and wake up at night... i mean i go to bed at 11 am or 12 and then get up at 10pm.... mostly to avoid the people around me.... at first it was fine. i wasn't allowed to get out see my friends or talk on the phone for more than an hour per week or 2 week i was holding on. as long as i had things to do at home i was fine.. read, tv, draw, paint, design.... i am fine. i am a smoker. for many years, to add... and they do help more than they damage in my case...i don't harm anyone around me, i avoid having people wen i light.
where i am now, i am not allowed to watch people smoking on tv let alone come near 1. i believe i'm free in spirit. thats how i'd like to think of things. so at first i was fine and i was enduring. thot what will come is worth the wait. now as things begin t crumble and i begin to notice shifts that will not allow me my collegiate escape. i am beginning to panic and a feeling of being a hostage has started to seep into me. not a hostage of people. a hostage of circumstances... i'm in the wrong place in the wrong time with the wrong people. a lot depends on me sticking around tho. not that i am the bread bringer or that i play a key role. i am just there... trust me i've weighed it more than once. sticking around and waiting for a chance is my only way. a lot of you may not understand what i am saying, and perhaps those who do will see it from their own spectacles and never really comprehend what i am trying to explain. after all we are all islands... but this is as much information as i can disclose. even if i could i wouldn't know how to phrase it.... i don't know what to do. when i was perhaps 9 or so something similar happened except i never had an escape as i do now going to university. (I CANT STAND THAT THOT OF THAT BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM ME!!!) the way the situation was contained (because i wouldn't be writing this if it were solved) i blasted into tears one night and i couldn't stop and then i entered a suicidal mood and i tried to swallow a hole bottle of pills which i've been stashing. my outburst made people run in beat me and they tied me down to take it. it was the first time they had seen me act that way. before that i was really a normal child. i use to be negative tho.. in the inside . but was great at concealing my thoughts. no one ever knew.. when i became "overly" positive after freshman -college- year they freaked out and they thought something was xtremely wrong. or that i was hiing something.....3 years in... i am still being watched under the microscope....
i am afraid my life will always be this way. these people will always be around me to limit my life. i dont knw what i can and cannot stomach because of them. i dont know my capacity an limitation.. i am not sure of my skills , social they are, or relating to the work feild. i know i can get to where i want to go. it's not even a matter of financial support. its literally physical limitations.
i am not asking for ways to break it because that is impossible. what i want to know is that is there hope for me to catch up with the experiences i have missed? or will i always have to remain in this average shell one step behind of those who fulfilled their greater purpose? and once that shell cracks, should i fall back to what is beneath average?!
it is only when that shell breaks that i well be able to do what i want to do. but will it be late?! and how can i stand when when its gone? i really do not knw my way in this world from being "protected" from it... if i did not learn what i was supposed to learn when i was younger, will i be able to continue???
i am both numb, and sensitive....
i am not sure what i am right now. or how i am.
confused as remnants dung.
--docilebohemia (link)
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Dear person in Docile Bohemia,
I think I understand how you feel. You don't say if you are with your parents, or guardians, or whatever, but I do know what kind of "hold" the adults who (are supposed) to care for us can impose. When I was younger than you, in high school, I too was the only happy person in my family. I was bound to them by their miserableness. Almost every member of my family had tried to kill themselves. My father never did, but he worked out of state, he was never there, and didn't have to deal with it. I was left to deal with it. It was not responsbility to make sure that the other members of my family were safe, happy, content, etc. (an impossible task.) But that was what was expected of me. They still think their unhappiness is caused by outside forces. they never look inward.
Well I did leave home at 18, and never went back, (actually ran away before that, but returned then left legally at 18) It took me a long time to find my true self and to be positive. Oh I was happy, certainly not depressed, but I felt I was always on the outside looking in. I let their negativity follow me for years and years. I made a lot of mistakes that I would have been happy to avoid, but I didn't have the 'social tools' that I needed to protect myself from people who only wanted to use me. See I was used to that, because that is what my family was doing, using me.
I think it is good that you are asking these questions, of yourself, of us here at advicenators, and of the universe. I didn't even know enough to ask them. I just let things happen and wondered why bad things always happened to me. It wasn't until I had kids of my own, at 32 and 36, that I knew I didn't want them to grow up with the same feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem that I had. I learned that I had to love myself before I could show them and teach them about self love and self respect. It was hard but I am so glad that I did it.
You can too. I am glad that you are in college, because that means you will have access to income that can get you out of there. And if I were you I would move as far away as possible. So that all they get from you is a phone call once a month or so, and maybe a visit every other holiday season. Because if they don't change, they will always try to control you.
Anyway, I can suggest some reading that really helped me alot, because I couldn't afford therapy.
Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward
Co-Dependent No More by Marilyn Beatty (beattie ?) May not even be Marilyn, not sure)
Any book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. A new one that is out that will just cut to the chase for you is Bad Childhood Good Life.
These books will help to explain to you the dynamics of family life, when those same dynamics are a deterrent to growing up happy and healthy, and how to avoid the same mistakes that I made. I think you will find them very informative.
Hopefully you do like to read, and reading will h elp the time pass between now and when college starts again. Hang in there. You will be in control some day. Find out all you need so that you don't turn out like they did. (it is very possible you know, As much as we hate our parents growing up, too many of us find ourselves acting just like them and sometimes we don't even know it.)
Good luck to you dear. If you want more support, you can put a private question in my in box.
Michele
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is it possible for your body to be really reacting to stress, but you dont even know that youre stressed? (link)
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Yes it is possible. Very possible. And you body can react to stress in so many different ways.
Some times our bodies shut down and all we want to do is sleep. sometimes we break out in hives or rashes. We can even get asthma attacks. And stomache ulcers are very common. All can be due to stress. sometimes we eat or drink too much to "medicate" the bad feelings.
None of these things help though. Humans have so many things they have to learn to deal with. Thinking about those that have it worse than you do, (like our soldiers in Iraq, or the thousands of people in Africa starving) That helps us to put our problems in perspective and deal with them. Only then will they go away.
Michele
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Okay so I read about rogain an it said not to use it anywhere else but your head? So is it gonna like mess my eyes up? (link)
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Well, no try not to get any in your eyes. Flush if you do. That is why I said to use a Q-tip. To control the amount of liquid that you use. I have been using it for years. My eyebrows were very sparse. And I always hated them, and had to use a pencil. They are looking fuller now and I like it. So just be careful. I mean this stuff can grow hair on just about anyplace where you have skin, but only if you apply it to the same spot over and over. I won't grow hair on a spot if you just happen to drip some on there once in a while. So don't worry. It does work.
Good luck
Michele
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ok some stuff happned yesterday that i dont feel like goin through but all i need to know is if someone looks up your phone calls for your cell phone on the internet whats gonna be up there!?!?will it have the received too? and will it have the calls that where made after your free time?and is there anyway that i could go up there and like delete anything on the internet(and what site is it and how?)?and if i do do that when someone else goes up there will they be able to tell if someone deleted stuff?thanx (link)
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I have more info for you but I am not sure if it applies.
If this phone is in your 'parent's" name, then they can go to the website of the mobil phone provider. Like VERIZON or AT&T or CINGULAR, and create an account, using their cell phone number, and they will be able to see all of the same information that is on the bill. You can see incoming and outgoing calls, and what numbers called you and what numbers you called, and how long you were on the phone. The numbers will also show what city and state they were made from, but not the name of the person who owns the phone number. AND No, you can't go there an delete anything. But ONLY the person who's name the phone bill comes in, can go to the provider website and create a user ID and view the bill on-line.
Michele
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Okay Michele,
Let me start by saying I am straight lol. Anyway, I am a shy and outgoing person all at once. And I was always picturing myself with the cutest boy in the class. You know, tipical crush stuff =]. And I have been afraid to have a boyfriend. I don't know why. I mean, I want one, but I don't. It's confusing I know. My friends are single too. Am I afraid to ask a boy out because I'm around people that are single? If not, what's wrong lol. I have mixed feelings about boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. What should I do? I mean, I think it's because either about the break-up, the kiss, or other bf/gf stuff...What's wrong here? (link)
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Hi honey, thanks for leaving a question in my in box.
Wow, all the things you mention that you are concerned about are potentials for problems with boys. Kissing, break-up, and let me add more, jealousy, having less time for your friends, and changing yourself to please him. (And this is the short list) I don't blame you for being nervous about all the bf/gf stuff. It can get complicated. Perhaps you have some friends or have seen some of the kids in school who were loving couples one week, and hated each other the next.
Let me start at the beginning.
Boys are different than girls. See like you picture yourself "with" the cutes guy, etc, etc.
The cutest guy in school pictures himself with a new chick every week. Why because he can. Because girls will be flirting with him constantly and everything. Of course this can happen at any age. Women are so much more forward than they used to be. There was a time when someone's boyfriend was off limits, but it doesn't seem to be that way anymore.
I guess what I am trying to say is....
that it is normal to be nervous about this stuff, and it is also OK to WAIT. You don't have to have a boyfriend now. Every young person I know, after they first got involved with someone and believed they were in love, all say, that it made their lives more complicated. Even the ones who are still together. BEcause now you always have to consider someone else's feelings before you make a decision. Like this:
Gee, if I go out with my bff this saturday to her folks summer home, my bf will be mad at me.
OR
If I let my bf go out with his friend who is visiting from out of state, (and only comes once a year) is he going to flirt with other girls when I am not around.
See, it gets complicated.
I am in no way saying that you should avoid boys altogether. But here is a little secret. In all relationships. Someone loves "more" than the other. One person, male or female is just a little more in love than their partner. Just be sure that your boyfriend (whoever that turns out to be) is the one who loves more in the relationship.
Now don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean that you should take advantage of him. You both deserve respect and to be treated fairly. And actually, maybe love is not the right word, maybe "needy" is a little closer. Perhaps a combination of both. Because if he loves you more and he is a little needy, or at least SURE that he doesn't want to loose you, then he will behave. If you know you can be trusted, because you have values and morals, that's great.
BOys don't think about values and morals where pretty girls are concerned. They think with the head in their pants. (sorry) But as boys get older and mature and become young men, they learn to behave better and usually can be trusted more.
YOu say that you are shy and out going all at once. That is normal. and that is great. But if you get involved with boys now, before you are ready, and get your heart broken, you can end up more shy and less out going. I does hurt honey. If you have read some of the questions girls leave her on this website. Some of them are very very upset and to young to see that some young 14 year old boy, who was only thinking of himself, is not worth fretting about. But their hurt and believe that they were in love and think that they dont want to live with out that person. 20 years from now he will be a faded memory, but they can't see that yet. And the reason is because is does hurt.
SO I guess my advice is that your concern is your gut trying to tell you that you are not ready. And I am not saying that you have to wait years and years. (though some of us wish we had)
You can count by months if you like. At your age you are growing fast, emotionally I mean. And you can learn by observing other people, couples, boys, and from other people's mistakes.
I am not going to say that gee, when the right boy comes along you will know it. Because too many boys want to be right "for the moment" and not for a long term relationship. But they are never clear on that. They can fool you because young boys are naturally selfish. They are supposed to be that way. Some stay that way even when they are grown men. (AVOID THEM) but many of them will mature into nice young men that will make good husbands and fathers.
Let me say this about "the cutest boy in the school". As long as we think of a boyfriend or girlfriend as a status symbol....we will never be happy. You want to be in a long term relationship with a person not a status symbol. You want to be in a long term relationship with a person who respects your feelings, cherishes you, is pleasant company, slow to anger, non-violent, and responsible and relaible and trust worthy. And as it turns out, that person is not often the 'cutest' boy in the school.
I hope I helped honey, I was very honest with you, and you understand that my advice is based on years of experience.(this boy/girl stuff doesn't change, even when you get older.) Good luck to you
Michele
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Hi,
I am the one who asked the question about Eyebrows. Do you know where I could go in walmart like what area in the store to get rogain where do I like look by?
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Sure in the hair grooming dept. Near the shampoos, conditioners. In Wal Mart it is usually near the mens hair grooming, hair thickeners, etc.
good luck
Michele
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I went out with this guy and he is the one who broke up with me, becuase we are in diffrent countries for the summer. He still likes me, but we've went out about 4 times. And he is the one who breaks up with me. I told him that I didn't want to go threw him breaking up with me again, because it is really anoying... He lkes me now, and I kind of like him, but I don't want to tell him, because all my friends and other people in my school are telling me don't go out with him again... He isn't right for you.
Now I don't know what to do... What happends if I like him a lot again and he still likes me... He said he wouldn't ask me out, but I might want to go out with him.... I'm the kind of person who gets asked out, I don't ask 'em out... I've had about 2 boyfriends so far. 4 from this guy who I'm telling you about and another person who I dumped because he was too shy around me! :\
Please Help Me!! (link)
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Well, I think that the reason he broke up with you before he went away is because he wanted to keep his options open. Just in case he wanted to have fun over the summer in the other country. Well I guess you could say that he is being fair and practical. But now he's back and thinks he wants to see you again. Well maybe he learned something. Maybe he learned that he made a mistake. My adivce is that you are both young. At any time, either one of you could change your mind about the other. That is what dating is all about. Being young is the time to do those kinds of things, after all, you don't want to be experimenting or still searching when you are in your 30's and married. So he shopped around, you can too. But in the end, the two of you could end up back together. This happens all the time.
There is no harm in going back with him. the harm is when you put in more committment that he does. YOu think this is it! for the rest of your life. He's thinking.."This is great, for right now".
I say go out with him, find out exactly what he did do last summer. Just don't make a committment.
If you are ONLY looking for a long term relationship, then I wouldn't choose a guy who likes to keep his options open.
MIchele
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(Male, 21) I have a friend who I work with who's been one of my best friends for a few years now. Lately, I have been having really strong feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her either. She's been acting really weird around me as of late, but she doesn't know I like her. She's very friendly towards our other friends but seems ignorant and sarcastic towards me, like she's getting tired of me or something. It's driving me crazy, what should I do? (link)
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Well, I think she does know that you like her, and I suspicion is that she does not feel the same way about you, and since you have actually told her that you like her, she doesn't have a chance to actually tell you that she only likes you as a friend, so she is acting badly towards you so that you won't get the idea that there is any chance at a relationship with her.
And for all you know someone may have told her.
So, if you can forget about the love relation ship, (which you should since it has to be her decision also) and want to save the friend relationship. She needs to get a new message from you. The one that says that you just want to be friends.
Michele
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When is it okay to have sex? What week for birth control pills? I want to be protected for sure, even though a condom is going to be used.
Is it okay to do it before the week of placebo pills?
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Once you are on the pill, and have had a full pill cycle and period, it is safe then to have sex and not use a condom, (although you have to consider STD;s also) The reason for the delay is that in case an egg had formed and is in your ovary waiting to be impregnanted, then it would still be there during the first month. after you get your first period while on the pill, your body won't be forming eggs anymore.
As long as the dose of pill that you are on is the right one for you. So once you have been on the pill for one complete month, you can be, what is it, 98% protected against pregnancy, on the pill.
Michele
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16/f
i have been getting weird feelings in my stomach && have not yet got my period this month. it`s now the 25 of july. i usually get my monthly around the 18th. i have been late before but not this late. my stomach makes strange sounds. kinda like im hungry and its growling. but i can`t stop eating.
can you tell me some early signs of pregancy ? early as a month ?
and if im pregant can you tell me if or how i can get an abortion with out my parents knowing ? or a house hold way. or somethinggg. im too youngg. (link)
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Hi honey
I really hope (with you) that you are not pregnant. But here are some normal signs, but not every one gets these signs.
tender breasts. enlarged breasts. frequent urination. nausea. Not many more this early.
I don't think a noisy stomach is a sign. Increased appetite, but too early for that I think.
Can you get a home pregnancy test kit. Costs about $10 - $20. You have to use 1st AM urine for testing.
If there is a planned parenthood agency in your city or town or nearby, seek them out.(check out on the internet) They can tell you whether or not you can get an abortion without your parents consent, in your state.
And please, if it turns out that you are not pregnant, never, never ever have unprotected sex again. Get your own condoms and refuse to have sex unless the boy puts one on. Sure it nice to close to someone and be held in his arms and be intimate, but here you are ALONE, dealing with this. Think about yourself, think about how it would dissapoint your parents, and never have unprotected sex again.
Good luck to you dear
Michele
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Why is it that you cant remember dreams,
like I had one this morning, and it was very clear in my head, and I cant remember the specefic people or anything anymore? (link)
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This is true for everyone. That is why so many people write them down first thing when they wake up. Or if you have a recorder you can record it. Keep a journal by the bed. Write down the main points and characters, maybe it will help you remember.
Michele
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I have acanthosis nigricans, and ive been taking a kind of medicine that's saposed to help it. There really is no cure, and its not deadly. It's jus a sigh that if I get diabetes, it's a death sentance so yeahh im trying to lose weight and the medicine im using is saposed to get rid of the discoloration. I tried everything before i knew what if was.. and everything hurt ALOT. Well i started using this cream and it showeda diffrence immediatly. It was awsome it was clearing up and now i have blisters on the back of my neck and my moms telling me to stop using it until the doctor figure out why its doing that. But i dont wasnt to I mean it jus started goinf away and its gross looking and everyone at my school thinks I dont shower except a couple people AND I Do its not as easy as soap and water it grows up and out of my skin.. and that cream was my last hope and now i cant use it and i dont wanna be made fun of anymore. So at the moment im crying, lil depressed because I want chocolate and I cant eat it because ill gaina nother 100 pounds and be even fatter and it'll become more black and this SUCKS! I dont wanna tell anyone because i donno what they think and my parents my family no one understand why i feel so hopeless at the moment because its not going away anymore and its gunna get worse and my neck hurts and I just wanna go to bed because im fat, stupid cuz i got my hopes up and they came crashing down and I want chocolate god dammit! (link)
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Listen honey,
It didn't take me much research to find all I needed to know about acanthosis nigricans. And you have been given the right diagnonsis and the right instructions. YOu ARE on a path to diabetes. The skin condition is a WARNING. This condition is caused by obesity, caused by eating to much and can lead to diabetes. This is one condition that is 100% preventable, and 100% controlled by you. You have to make up your mind to stop substituting food for good feelings.
Being sick does not feel good. You can take this advice now and save yourself years and years of pain and suffering, or you can wait until the situation is critical, say 20 years from now and then it will be even harder. But the "cure" will be the same. YOU HAVE TO LOOSE WEIGHT.
Do you have any idea how many people have diseases and condition that THEY WISH, all they had to do was LOOSE WEIGHT, and the disease or condition would go away. Now get strong and get going. No one can do it for you. Say no to too much food, say no to junk food, get moving and always say NOT TO CHOCOLATE.
Go ahead give me a bad rating, but I would never change my advice to you. I live by it.
Michele
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i'm 14 years old and i want a job very badly. my parents have been low on money so it's hard for them to get me stuff and give me money for the movies, etc. so i'd like to have a job to pay for my own things and to start saving for a car and college and such.
i've tried all the mcdonalds around me and have gotten turned down because two weren't really hiring. so any ideas and any places that hire 14 year olds? i live in Ohio, and i'd like it to be an all year thing not just summer, thanks so much :] (link)
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I think it's great that you want to find work and earn your own money. You aren't old enough to work, almost anywhere in the US. When you turn 15, though, you should be able to find work at a supermarket. But for now.....
Um, try volunteering at a place that pays tips. Like the snack bar at a little league field.
McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts or other large chain stores are out of the question....but a small coffee shop or diner or luncheonett may hire you 'under the table' to clean tables or something, and pay you in cash.
Horse stables, animal farms and produce farms do hire kids under 15, are there any near by where you could apply for work. How about a plant nursery, where you will work outside. That might even be better than being stuck inside all day.
Kennels and dog pounds might be interested in hiring a hard working kid. Try that.
Newspapers used to hire kids to deliver newspapers. I don't know if they still do, but it is worth looking into.
Start your own little dog walking or dog bathing business. Take care of pets in the neighborhood when people travel. Print up a flyer and put it in people mail boxes.
Hope this helps
Michele
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i always seem to be farting. I can't help it. I'm a vegeterian and I eat soy products like veggie burgers and veggie dogs daily. I also eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.
Why am i always farting?
i'm only about 20 pounds more than i should be.
help. (link)
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Um, my son has the same problem and he is a vegeterian. Try taking your meals with a digestive enzyme. All natural, of course. Try adding an pro-biotic to your vitamin regime.
It is the bain of vegeterians and us who have to live with them.
Good luck dear
Michele
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