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first time


Question Posted Saturday July 28 2007, 6:13 pm

im consideering the idea of having sex but im just so confused about al the information that has been given to me, like some one told me that once you start having sex you ahve to go to the docctor to check yyou once in a while from diseases, not like stds , but the kind of diseases you can have when your sexually active like girl diseases i dont know how to explain it , though im so afraid about the consequences so whats your advice?

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Michele answered Monday July 30 2007, 7:46 am:
Hi honey, thanks for leaving a question in my in box. You are smart to start thinking about all of the consequences and responsibilities that go along with becoming sexually active. I see that you are 17 and that is good. Much better than 14, which is the age that some girls experience sex. There are a lot. Two things you have to learn to prevent before becoming sexually active is pregnancy and std's. And of course, to make matters worse, only girls can get pregnant and only girls can get some of the std's.
Let's deal with std's first.
Boys can pass on these std's but only girls can get them:
chlamidia, yeast infections, HPV (human papiloma virus - not sure I spelled that one correctly.)
The std's like syphillus and gonnareah (sp?) are bacterial infections and both men and women can get them and you'll know when you have one (eventually) because you will become very sick and need antibiotics.

You do have to go to a doctor to have chlamydia diagnosed. Yeast infections can now be treated at home with monistat which you can get at the drug store. HPV virus, now has a vaccine which is controversial because it is recommmended before girls become sexually active, so some doctors recommend it for 11 year olds. And it is a series of three vaccines. And they are expensive. But the vaccine is supposed to prevent cervical cancer which they believe is caused buy the HPV virus. (which has no other symtoms by the way - you can have it for years and get cervical cancer much later in life. ) Cervical cancer kills 10,000 women each year in the US.
Oh yes there is also HIV or the AID virus which can be transmitted sexually and both women and men can get AIDS. The very best way to prevent almost all of these std's is by using condoms. EVen if you end up on birth control. You should always use condoms up to and until you get married. Oh yes, I almost forgot Herpes, is also an STD and both women and men can get it and carry it and pass it on, and it stays with you forever. No cure. Not deathly, just a nuisance.
There is medication for it.
Honey if and when you become sexually active you should be seeing a gynecologist at least one a year. You need to be a "patient" of record for a local ob/gyn incase you do have an emergency and need to see your doctor right away. She/he can give you all the same information that I am giving you. I know it is nerver wracking, the anticipation of going for your appointment and having to get in that gyn chair and put your feet in those stirrups. But think of if this way, millions of women do it every day, And these are the healthiest women. Doctors, meaning your OB/gyn can find issues before they become big problems. They do not judge you, they are there to help you, and they understand how you feel. They help women. And they see many naked women every day, and one more doesn't mean a thing to them.
I urge you to see a doctor if you are going to become sexually active. The ob/gyn's would prefer that you do. They wish all young girls would see an OB/gyn yearly. They screen for diseases and cancer on each visit. You can discuss ANYTHING with them. They will not insist on telling your parents on anything.
Later in life, when you are married, (or not) and do want to have a baby, only seeing an OB/GYN will ensure that you have a healthy baby and a normal child birth. So your OB /GYN is a very important person in your life. I still see one and I am well beyond child bearing age. And I only have one sexual partner, but I still see an OB/GYN every year. Now we are also screening for breast cancer with mamograms. These are all things that women do so that they can ensure for themselves a long and healthy life.
You can choose to go to a female OB/GYN, and you may find that easier for you. I hope that you do decide to go. YOu can ask her the same questions you asked me, and even more. She will not lie to you.
The other thing I want to caution you on is this.
You must consider this, when you go to bed with a young man, it is like going to bed (y0u know I mean sex here right) with everyone that he has gone to bed with. So if he contracted a disease, a virus from a previous bed partner, then you stand a good chance of getting the same disease or virus. and some of them can stay with you for the rest of your life. So just be choosy about who you go to bed with. BEcome friends first and get to know each other. See what you can find out about his past If he has had too many partners to count, it is a good chance that you might catch something from him, and you will just be another one of many, instead of some one special.
I hope that you take care dear.
Michele

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