Hi, My real name is Daniel. Im an expert on youth affairs (issues) and you can ask me questions on:
Love and Relationships
Sexuality
Dating
Puberty
And anything else to do with youth/teenagers
Drop me a line!
I give advice from my point of view.
So go ahead ask me a question.
Ill give you my best advice.
See you soon.
jumadel
Gender: Male
Location: U.K, England, Greater Manchester
Occupation: Expert in Youth Issues
Age: 15
AIM: Give people expert advice for FREE!
Member Since: June 6, 2006
Answers: 432
Last Update: July 23, 2006
Visitors: 21719
Main Categories:
Love Life
Love Life
Love Life
View All
|
| |
|
theres this one guy that i am very attracted to. ive known him like since i was 2 but havent seen him in a while. i seen him at christmas but i didnt really talk to him. hes going to be at my cousins graduation party but i dont know how to approach him and talk to him. what should i do? (link)
|
Hi, the best thing that you can do is try and start a conversation. Below is roughly what could happen:
You: Hi
Him: Hi
You: Nice party is'nt it
Him: Yeah
Have you noticed that if you talked a bit like that, then your asking a close question. A close question, requires only a yes or no answer. If you want to get going with this guy then you need to ask open questions. Heres an example:
You: Hi, what do you think of the party?
Him: Or pritty good......
You: What do you think about my cousin graduating?
Him: Will......
Do you see what I mean? When making a conversation, remember these 3 tips:
1. Questions
2. Compliments
3. Small talk
Remember that open questions require a sentence of answers, where as close questions require yes or no answers. Plus, if you kept on asking close questions then your tonque could get tangled, you blush, and get nervouse. People like talking to people who are confident. Shy is O.K so is being nervouse. But you don't really get as much boyfriends or friends being nervouse than being confident. Woman and Men both like people who are confident about themselves. Hope Ive helped a little. Daniel.
|
|
It's near the end of my grade (8) and were graduating. I am going to a different highschool then the one i like. But i REALLY LIKE HIM. What should i do? One of my bff likes him to. So i have to say i don't like him anymore. I just really want him to hold my hand. or just tell me he likes me and kiss me OR SOMETHING. on the day of graduating should i tell him? HELP. give me ideas what to do! (we ARE having yearbooks) (link)
| |
Hi, because it could be the last time you ever see him again, then yes, if you feel confident, tell him. It sounds quite romantic to me. Otherwise you could sign his year book saying something like "come round to my house sometimes, heres my address..." and so on. It could scare him away however. The only thing you can do is tell him in a quiet place were no one can disturb you. He might not want what you want. Sadly, thats life, but theres always plenty of other fish in the sea. Tell him how you feel, because you might regret it later on, and wished that you knew how he feels about you. Let me know how you get on. Good luck!!! Daniel.
|
|
Ok so me and my bf have sex like everytime we are together. Its not that I dont like it or anything like that but I would like to ave a great day with him with having to have sex. Is there something wrong with that? And how can I tell him this without making him feel bad? (link)
|
Hi, it's up to you how much you want to have sex. Different people do it more than others. For example:
Twice a week
Once a week
Once a month
Once every 6 months
For some never
There is more ways to show each other affection than just having sex. For example:
Kissing
Hugging
Cuddling
or just making out
You must tell him how you feel. If you don't then he will just think that everythings alright. We know that not everything is O.K. Tell him that. Sometimes we have to express how we feel. It's apart of being a human being, having feelings. Daniel.
|
|
What would you say is the average age for starting to date, have a boyfriend and makeout???? (link)
| |
Hi there, the average age I personally think, is around 14-15. Usually seriouse relationships start when your around 17-18. There is no right or wrong answer, but it would probaly be a wee bit to young if it was under 12. Hope that helps you. Daniel.
|
|
ok, I've been goin out with this guy for a little over 3 months, he's 16 and he can drive and I'm 15. It's summer so he's always tellin me how he's really buisy, I never see him anymore b/c he says he's always gone... in someways he sounds a little "overly" buisy. He lives like 8 minutes away from me, and he's only come to see me one time ALL summer. When we first started goin out I liked him sooo much that I made the mistake of telling him i would never break up with him... Things aren't working out and I don't feel the same about him, but I don't want to hurt him and I don't know how to break up with him in the right way. I don't want him to think I'm a liar and I regret tellin him that cuz I should have known it wouldn't last forever... What should I do? (link)
|
Hi, have you actually tried to tell him how this makes you feel? If you feel as though he's just simply not your type or things are'nt working out, the basically you could:
a) Tell him how you feel, and give him some time to look at this situation
b) Finish with him
I think (A) is the best option. If you don't tell him properly how this makes you feel and you hold it inside, then he just thinks that things are going O.K. Sometimes we need to say something, or it never gets dealt with. Let me know how you get on if you like. Daniel.
|
Ok there's a guy I like and it's summer already meaning schools out. We both go to the same school.
So we both like each other. There's one problem: When he's online and his best friend jamie(a girl) is on, he doesn't IM me or anything.
Then when she isn't on, he IM's me as SOON as I get online.
Why do you think he doesnt IM me when his best friend is on?
Thanks. (link)
| |
Hi, maybe he just does'nt realise that your online sometimes, and is to busy talking to Jamie. There is a possibilty that he might like Jamie as more as a friend, and wants to be more close to her. However, thats anyones guess. Your better off just saying something like "how come you don't see me online when you talk to your friend". Just ask him, when your talking about a similar subject to this. Just ask him nicely. If your thinking of asking him out, then just wait and see. Jamie might yet pop the question first! Daniel.
|
|
Alright, so I really like this girl at my school. She will be a junior and I a sophmore. When I talk to her, I feel all nervous, but we still talk a lot and stuff. We aren't really good friends or anything, but we have a lot of the same friends. Although I haven't gotten a definate answer, some people have told me they don't think she likes me. I still really like her though, and I don't know what to do? I can't just stop liking her, but at the same time I know I probably shouldn't ask her out or anything. I think that she is so beautiful, although that is not the reason that I like her, and I feel this connection with her, as if we were going out or something. idk how to explain it, I've never felt it around a girl who "doesn't like me" before. Please tell me, what should I do?? (link)
|
Hi there, It sounds as though you love her. Thats nice. heres some things you need to check when telling her how you feel:
1. TIME: Is she busy with something, or free to talk?
2. PLACE: Is she in school, or in a quiet area were the two of you won't be disturbed
If she's free and your both in a quiet place then you can tell her how you feel about her. Where as if you was in a disco, it would'nt be practical. Do you see what Im getting at?
Most girl's are flattered when someone ask's them out, or tell's her how much you like her. They might not say yes. But it really does warm their heart up. Heres some charectaristics that girls look for in a friend/boyfriend:
1. Humour
2. Funny
3. Kind
4. Listener
5. Fun
6. Active
and most of all someone who feels good about themselves. Girl's don't like people drowling over them. But asking them out is sweet. They will feel flattered. Just do it one of these days. Remember time and place. Let me know how you get on. Good luck!!!. Daniel.
|
|
ok....this is hard to talk about but im going to try to get it out best i can.im in college, and i really like this guy( ill call him rob) for a while. we never hooked up or anything, but talked dont the phone here and there.sometimes he use to joke around about things he wanted to do with me sexually,but i always just thought he was kidding because we were kinda friends.so this one day, i was really drunk and he called me to come over to his apartment. i was so excite because i really like him and he alwasy told me what a great girl i was and how he liked me alot. i thought one day he was really gunna get serious with me. Anyway, i went there and he told me he wanted me to listen to some song in his room, i went in and when i did his roomate was in ther and i kind aheard him tell him to leave, then he left rob locked the door. i started to get nervous because i wasnt really expeting to hook up with im or have sex, but i just went with it because i was so drunk. we end up starting to hook up and then it just got bad. we started to have sex, which was ok with me because i thought he really like me and it was going to be so great.it ended up be the most hurtful thing i have ever gone through, pyshcially and emotionally. he was having sex with me really rough, and it hurt really bad, i was very drunk but i managed to say your hurting me, so he would stop, but then he would just do the same thing again. he was throwing me around the bed like a rag doll, and i was crying inside.i said stop it hurts, but he took that as "stop for a sec then start again" this went on for a good 20 mintues till i fianlly made up some excuse to leave.when i left i cried the entire way home. i got home and i had bruises bewtween my legs already.i was so hurt because i though he like me and he treated me so terribly....but what i always wanted to know was...is that considered rape or something close to it???sorry so long, i just pushed it out of my mind for song long becauseit really screwed me up in the head to the point i cant trust guys anymore and talk of sex with a guy totally scares me...advice please what do you think??im i blowing this out of poportion? because i didnt exactly say or scream stop like i was being raped....i dunno please advice (link)
|
Hi, Im quite confused about wether it's rape or not. You did enjoy at first and went with it even though you were drunk. It is quite likely though that it is rape because:
a)He did'nt stop when you told him to
b)You were both drunk
Go and see a Counsellor or the Police. Someone to talk to is helpful. I know that it's quite silly of me saying this but, you should still trust boys. Maybe you should start talking to some boys who are shy or look like they are very nice and kind and helpful. There are some really really nice guys who would love to be your friend. And believe me, there really are. This has hurt you, and no it does not sound like your blowing it out of propotion. Remember that its your body, and anyone who is doing anything sexual to your body without your consent, is sexually abusing you. Im here at advicenators if you want to talk a bit more about it. Please don't hesitate to ask me a question. Hope Ive helped you. Daniel.
|
Alright well since last week i've been kinda "out of it" bacuse my cousin killed himslef on June 3rd and I just feel like "out of it". Like I feel like i ahve so much goin on inside my head and i cant concentrate well.... and of course now its finals and regents time in my school! I feel tired all teh time too, but thats becasue i havent gotten much sleep since then.....
i dont know if its beacuse of what happend to my cousin but its so weird, ive never been like this before.... (link)
|
Hi there, Im sorry to hear that your Cousin died. It must be quite painful sometimes for you. I can understand how you feel. ADD is a sign of lack of concentration. It can lead to frustration. It can affect us in, School, work or even playing a game like chess. I reccomend you hang out with some good friends a bit. Talk to someone you trust like a Counsellor. Maybe you could go and see a Psychiatrist. He can advise you to take medication. It might even be a sign of depression. These are signs of depression:
1. Eating less/more than usual
2. Sleeping less/more than usual
3. Want to kill yourself
4. Feeling sad all the time
5. Have difficulty concentrating
6. Not interested in your friends or your hobbies anymore
7. Frequently tired or out of energy
8. Worrying or constantly stressed out
If you answered yes to most of these questions then you could have depression. I know it's hard to get back to normal when someone we care about die's, but we have to put that behind us and move on. I know that this is a hard time for you, and Im sorry that it's hard for you. Arrange a time to see a Counsellor. He can give you good advice. See how that goes, if still feeling bad in the next week or so, then book an appointment to see a Psychiatrist or another expert on these sorts of issues. Hope things get better for you. Daniel.
|
My girl friend, Trish, is so beautiful and I love her so much.
The problem is people say that she is ugly, & I don't think that at all.
I was just wondering if I could get all of your honest opinions. Do ya'll think she is ugly?
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c54/TriciaxxxAnn/newhair.jpg
I'll rate 5s for all answers. (link)
|
Hi, I think she is quite attractive actually.
Daniel.
|
|
Sometimes I get really lonely for no reason. I'm always around family and friends but I feel really lonely. I just feel down and depressed. I don't know why I feel so lonely and abandoned. Does anyone know what's wrong with me? (link)
| |
Hi, maybe you don't have many friends or hobbies. You could be going through a wee bit of depression. Just go out and do something you like, make a friend and join in anything thats fun or interests you. Daniel.
|
|
Okay. 14/F. I have really low self esteem. I can't stand the way I look. I just completely hate myself. I hate my looks, I hate my personality, I just hate everything about me! I've thought about cutting SO many times, and I was actually ready to one day, but my friend stopped me. Honestly, I feel like she's the only person who cares whether I do it or not. I guess my question is, What can I do to feel better about myself? (link)
|
Hi there, set yourself a goal each day. It might be to make a friend, exercise or even take a bath. Try and do something that relaxes you. It could be that your going through puberty and your bodies changing and your mood has just taken a turn. Only you can make yourself feel better. Don't hate who you are. There must be at least one good thing about you, that makes your personality great. It could be that your funny or you like listening to other people or maybe you are quite intelligent. If you try really hard and find just 1 thing thats good about you. Then act on it. Look at some of the jobs you could get for example if you've got these qualities:
1. Funny: Comedian, Clown
2. Smart: Teacher, Principal, Psychologist, Docter
3. Helpful: Counsellor, Therapist, Youth Worker
4. Skillfull: Engineer, Electrician, Plumber, Mechanic
5. Decision maker: Judge, Councillor, Politician
6. Factual: Historian, Socialogist, Lawyer
7. Creative: Chef, Artitect, Artist
8. Social: Taxi driver, Help desk, Buisness man
9. Caring: Social Worker, Nurse, Nanny
10. Protective: Soldier, Police, Security Guard
11. Hard worker: Firewoman, Farmer, Builder
12. Responsible: Manager, Accountant, Dean
Do you see what I mean? If you have a good quality then you can do something inside of that quality that you like doing. What Im trying to say is, do something that you are positive on. Focus on your good sides, not the bad. I bet you have a nice smile. So thats one good thing about your personallity. You are kind and everything positive. Your a positive person. Just don't think negative. See how that goes. Put your good qualities into action. Daniel.
|
Okay, well, this July, I'm babysitting a 10-11 year old girl named Maggie. She's a cute kid, but there is one problem. She's completely hyper all the time. She gets nervous alot and really easily.
I just wanted to know if ya'll had any ideas for fun, quiet, easy-clean up games that will keep her situated for a while.
This is a FULL day job, twice a week, $50 a day. I know that seems a lot, but trust me, she's worth it.
ANYTHING that would help me with this will help me because I really need the money.
Thanks a ton in advance.
(link)
|
Hi, there are heaps of games you can play. For example:
1. Snakes and Ladders
2. Hide and seek
3. Draughts
4. Chess (if you can both play?)
5. Tag (can tire her out)
6. Dominoes
7. Guess who
8. Playstation or computer games
9. Ludo
10. Card games
Do anything it takes, but try and keep her busy. Physical stuff like kicking a ball around is good. It can tire the girl out. The secret is to keep her busy, or she might get bored and take control. Hyperactive kids usually like to do things that involve running or jumping, anything that keeps them on their toes. If they don't get that opportunity then they can start controlling you if you let them. Hope Ive helped. Daniel.
|
|
i really just want to commit suicide. i just can't stand my life anymore. i just feel like i would be better in heaven where i would have no worries. someone please help. i can only take so much. i don't know how to cope. i'm just going to end up killing myself. i know i am. i have no reason to live. (link)
| |
Hi, it sounds as though your suffering from Deppression. This must be a very hard thing to face. There are many people that can help such as, Counsellors, Psychiatrists and Psychologists. These are trained proffesionals who will be able to give you advice and may give you special treatment for it. I know a person who has been through something quite similar. His name was Ben and he suffered that much that his mum and dad could'nt get him out of the house. He wanted to end his life. He got help. And now he's an adult with heaps of friends and plays in a school band. He enjoys life and he has a future to look forward to. Im show that if you get proffesional advice, tell them whats up, then you can be just like Ben. Something is hurting you. And because its not getting dealt with it makes you feel that way. You mus'nt let yourself think like that no matter how much badness life can throw at you. Heaps of people around the world suffer from Depression. But they get help. Say no to suicide, and yes to help. It does'nt mean you are a baby, it means that you are growing up. You have alot going for you. Try and focus on a hobbie or maybe build very close friendships. Talk to people that you trust. Keep safe. Tell them what you want solved. But please mate, don't kill yourself. It's not the answer. Say no to suicide, and yes to help. Good luck. Contact me if you need any more help. Daniel.
|
My friends really think I've got mental problems! Not seriously, but it's getting out of hand. I have always been like a kid--- i still love cartoons, video games and i still talk like a kid when im not nervous; like if around my friends, Im completely myself. And thats always been a problem because whem Im myself, Im crazy and hyper. So lately, my friends and people i hardly know from my school are saying that I have a mental problem. I know it sounds dumb, but I hate it!
I told my friend that there is nothing wrong, and they all say they are just joking around when they say i have ADD or OCD, but the other people at my school dont know this. Sure, school is almost over, but I really dont want to continue with this stupid rumor! And I can't even set the record straight that I have no problem, because the rumor is based on how I act, which is kidishly. I really cant sit still or I play with things and I make up wacko words.
Is there a way to show, well sure, im not normal, but just not crazy? Thanks.
14/f (link)
|
Hi, alot of teenagers act childish. In fact some don't grow up until they're like 25. It's just a teenage phase your going through. If it was mental, then I think 90% of all teenagers in the world would be mental. Most teenagers act daft. You only have to look at people like, Jim Carrey and Mike Myers to see that. The word mental has alot to do with the brain. Your brain is'nt much different than any others really. When Bill Gates comes home from work or gets stressed out, he jumps on the trampoline really high. Elton John swears alot and has a tantrum like a small child when off stage and he's over 60 years old.
Just goes to show does'nt it. You don't sound mental to me, regardless of what your friends say. Daniel.
|
|
Whats the fascination girls have over 6-packs? When my gf starts talking about celebrities, athletes, or other guys that have them, she drools over them and I feel miserable about myself and left out, I mean what am I supposed to say to that? I don't know if thats her way of telling me I should have one or what. It kind of bothers me, but I don't know if telling my gf that would do any good. All her other friends think the same thing, I just don't see whats so great about it...so what is it and what do you think I should do? (link)
| |
Hi, Ive got to tell you that the answer is no. Because if you don't want them then you don't have to have them. It's your body and you can do what you like with it. If she wants you for your abs, then theres something wrong. Talk to her about it. Girls however do get attractive to such things, just like boys are attractive to boobs. It's just natural. But don't change just because you think she prethers you like that. Thats a big no no. Daniel.
|
|
I was wondering if there was a way to find out what has been printed on your computer. LIke in the past? (link)
| |
Hi, have a look at your printer manuel. It might have the answer in there. Hope that helps. Daniel.
|
Ok, so I have too many hobbies that take up too much time and my mom said that I need to think about next year and what I want to do and what I have time for. My two main concerns are I won't have time for my horses and my grades will slip. I'll list the activities (not including hanging with friends, homework and, oh yeah, sleep!) and time they take...
Riding: I try to make it out 4 or 5 times a week when I have my pony. Shows are all day either Saturday or Sunday.
Cross Country & Track: Every day for a few hours a day. Some meets during the week but others are all day Saturday or Sunday (already see a problem?)
Marching Band: Monday and Friday nights.
Girl Scouts: Every other Friday
Band and Chorus: In school except for a couple mandatory rehearsals right after school.
Private drum set lessons: Every Thursday night.
Spanish Club: One day after school each week for an hour.
Sorry that was so long but I guess my questions are how much can I do and how do I decide what to do? (I know only I can make the final decision but strategies would be helpful) (link)
| |
Hi, it sounds as though you've got to much food on your plate. You need to scrape some away so that theres just the right amount for you to do, if you get my meaning. It's ashame that you've got so many things to do in so much little time. It's good to have 1 or 2 hobbies. That way you've got anothe time to complete your week without stress and tiredness. Don't forget that you've got school too, as well! Just cut down on some hobbies and see how things go. Start off with 2 or 3. Daniel.
|
|
I was wondering if there was any possible way to get pregnant if sperm gets on your clothes or in your underwear, but not directly inside of you? Example if someone is fingering you and you both get really into it. Thanks. (link)
| |
Hi there, theres a very small chance that you can get pregnant. But you are most likely not to if your wearing clothes. The sperm needs to enter the vulva in the vagina for you to be pregnant. Daniel.
|
|
I already have my ears pierced but now I want a second hole. My moms not really AGAINST the whole idea, but she kind of thinks it's dirty looking. It's only one more hole though, It's NOT like I want earrings all down my ears. How can I explain that getting one extra hole through your ear isn't dirty looking or punkish. I'll rate. (link)
| |
Hi, just tell her that your getting older and its your body. Your a teenager who wants to do something like what your doing. Your parents will probaly want to know if you are show that you want it doing, and you except responsibilities. After all its not a big deal really. Daniel.
|
|