VainTaraLynn's advice column

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Q: i don't even know what i'm asking really, but i'm really upset.

today my friends had a party to watch a movie and they said they called me, but there was nothing on my caller id, no messages, and my cell phone was on and with me and never rang. i really feel forgotten by my friends and really hurt. how can i keep myself from being forgotten again?

Offer to do things. I'd say invite them over, get them to hang out at your house and do fun and interesting things. Maybe they feel as if your leaving them out by not calling or something? Friendships go both ways, dont expect them to do all the calling and arranging for hanging out & such.

Q: i'm currently changed my eating habbits. I now eat breakfast, pack my lunch (instead of eating the schools groce lunch), and for dinner i try to eat something kinda heatlhy.

ALso, on monday i startred the biggest loser dvd, it has a 6 week plan. Also i do the gazelle, lift weights(mialy legs now bc of the BL dvd), and I walk on the tread mill alot.

what are good choices for lunch & breakfast?

i usually, for breakfast, have like whole wheat cereal (yummy) or a bagel ( not heatlhy i know ) and kinda weird things.

for lunch i have like a sandwich w/turkey or chicken. sunships, nature valley bars, banana, yogurt, apple sause and other sorts of things

Eek tuna fish! Tuna fish only has 70 calories per can and its really good for you =D. Unless you dont like fish haha. But fishy foods are really good for you, and lots of vegetables and fruits of course. Salads, deff. I dont know the main thing I can think of is tuna fish haha!

- - haha, aww. Id eat it normal. Like I dont personally like mayo, eek. OR you can make a salad & put some tuna fish in it, or crab meat. It sounds wierd I know but omg, its delish. =D

but if you want to do it with mayo use a TINY bit. nothing extreme, like dont drown the tuna! hahah. just a tiny bit to give it a little more flav. know what i mean

Q: ok.. so i know this isnt good. but the other day i had a really low self-esteme and i took painkillers.. how many would like really harm me because im worried..

It all depends on the miligrams that are in the pills & what kind they are. What you can do though is go to www.google.com and look up the name of the medicine and look up lethal dosage of it and some results should come up of how many is a letal ammount. Usuaally lethal is in the 3000 range.

Q: i know im gonna have a little nervous breakdown one of these days. does anyone know the warning signs? What usually happens afterwards? Thanks.

I had a mental/emotional breakdown 2 times in my life and basically I was a wreck. I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, didnt want to talk to anyone, barely talked, was worried about everything, felt as if everything in my life was going wrong and there was nothing I could do about it. Usually its brought on by an immense ammount of stress, with family friends or work, home, anything. During, I had to be hospitalized to get back on my feet and was set up with a counselor, to help me sort out my emotions which really didnt work because im good with helping people, obviously. So I knew what I had to do. But yeah maybe yours wont be as extreme as that, but basically thats what happens, then again it varies from person to person.

- - regular one.

Q: is there any other image host besides photobucket that doesnt resize the image? thanks in advanced

www.imageshack.us
www.tinypic.com

Q: Ok, so um...here's the point:
My nipples look like their all bruised and they hurt when something lightly touches them.I know this is disgusting but I'm kinda worried about it. If this is any help, they didn't "grow" yet.

Thats why, right there. I was that way when I was developing haha. Everytime I would like touch them on accident or hit them it hurt reallyyyy bad. Its just the process of growing, your completely normal.

Q: ohkay, so im like a reeeaalllly slow runner when it comes to ... running? i get 12 minutes on my miles and i dont know what im doing wrong. i weigh 110lbs. im not fat but not stickly skinny. can anyone tell me how i can run faster and make it easier for me to run without getting tired?

Its called endurance. If you exercise alot you build endurance which enables you to run distances and for a long time without getting tired. You just basically have to build it up. If its really a concern for you then run maybe 10 minutes a day, and then increase it by the weeks or the monthes, and it will enable you to run for a while =D.

Q: i want to get side bangs and i have a hair appoitment in 2 weeks, but i wanted to get them after basketball season ends(which is in like, 1 month) because i dont want them in my face while im playing. are there ways that i can keep them out of my face(somehing good cause i dont want to be rebounding and have someone rip out some big clip) lol
thanks

Take two bobby pins, take one and pin it up and take the other one and make it go the other direction so it makes an X on your hair. the other one that criss crosses it will make it so the bobby pins wont fall out, & use hair spray =D

Q: How do you make LiveJournal Icons?

Thanks in advamce!!
♥

With a program called Paint Shop Pro 7 & Animation Shop

you can search google for PSP7 for a free trial, and if you do download it once you get it go to www.websoup.org or www.websoups.org im not sure which, and download brushes, then extract them into your PSP brushes folder. There will be alot of cute ones like swirlies and pinup girls and things like that, then make a 100x100 icon thats white, and add brushes & text & whatever you want. . if you want it animated then put it in animation shop & it will give you frames. Use as many as you want.. for example

if you want it to flash i love you

you put i in the first frame
love in the second
and you in the third
then set the animation to about 20
and it will flash i love you
and then save that =D

Q: how do i get my hair scrunched? like that curly hair u see girls have. i dont want it like a wet scrnched though. and i want it to stick with all the humidity that we have in new orleans. my hair is like an inch below my sholders and i straghten it everyday and now im gettin sck of that look. k thx. 5's

Well. some things you can do are

take a regular curling iron and run it through strands of your hair, then stop for like 10 seconds, go a little lower, stop for 10 seconds, and that will crimp it.

buy a crimping curling iron

Orrrrr. After you wash your hair, put some moose in it, and use a diffuser. Their about 10 dollars I think at a local salon. What they do is dry & scrunch your hair at the same time. So you have this amazingly cute scrunched hair & its dry =D.

Q: I had a very busy day. I got up at 5 and rode in a car for 2 hours to the airport. Then I went on 2 planes, one of which had a 3 and a half hour delay. Alos, I had to eat alot of disgusting fast food. I'm home now and exhausted. I just feel like I'm still on the airplane, my mind is wandering, I feel sick, and I am restless. Does anyone have any ways that I could relax? Or that would make me feel better?

Bubble baths !! Omg their so relaxing haha. Sometimes when I have a rough day and nooones home (usually on weekends) Ill blast some soft music & like lay in my bathtub with lots of bubbles. I just lay there and close my eyes and let the words of whatever song in listening to go in one ear and right out the other, and try and clear my mind. Its extremely relaxing and feels good =D

Q: I'm 16, almost 17. When I was a freshmen I started dating this guy, who wasn't the best guy in the world. The bad guy type, does drugs, gets in trouble, gets drunk on weekends. I look back now and I don't know what I was thinking. But I was with him for a year. My parents hated him, yea you know how it is. Drama in the household. Eventually we had to break it off because of my parents. We still talk every couple of months or so. But I got in a relationship with a guy, and I've been with him for 8 months now and I know I love him, but I still keep thinking about my x. And there is no way I could ever get back with my x or even want too. But I can't help but think about him. I always wonder if he's thinking about me or how he's doing. I know my boyfriend now is the best thing I have right now so I don't want to end it with him, but I don't know why I keep thinking about my x. What should I do?

Thats perfectly normal. He was part of your life for a year, thats a long time to be with someoen and sometimes you cant help but think back to your past and think about what their doing what their thinking about, how their dealing with things. It doesnt mean you dont know that your current boyfriend is right for you or not it just means your curious. As long as you know that you love your current boyfriend and dont have feelings for your ex than your fine. & if you still do have some lingering feelings, those are alright too and also perfectly normal as long as you know that they have to stay just as feelings and not actions. =D If your current boyfriend is understanding you can talk to him about this and see what he has to say, but make sure he is understanding and wont flip out and make assumptions that your dating around or have soimething with your ex still. =D

Q: Sometimes... I feel so chubby.

Well, like most young teenagers, I'm obsessed with my weight and staying healthy. Actually, it's not exactly my weight... It's just that I look kind of fat. I'm 14 years old... I stand at 5' 1" and I weigh just about 105 pounds... I never thought that I was over-weight (but am I?)... It's just I look fatter than how much I really weigh. Is that even normal? Does that even make sense?(o.O) My friends are always telling me I look fine and that I'm "skinny" but I know they're just saying that so I won't feel bad. A lot of my friends weigh more than me and are taller than me... but they look more... normal. Sometimes I just think I'm insecure... or something... Should I exercise more often? Should I try to lose just a little weight? Or am I just going crazy?

Thanks...

No, their not saying that so you dont feel bad, their telling you that because they care about you and its the truth. The average weight for someone that is 5'4 is 120 pounds, and decreases/ increases with the increase and decrease of weight so.. it goes as follows

5'4 120
5'3 115
5'2 110
5'1 105

so basically, your at average weight, and you have nothing to worry about. Everyone is self conscious about one thing or another about themselves, and the only reason it would look like your fat is because girls in general are so critical about themselves, every little tiny miniscule thing is some huge flaw, but noone else can see it except us. Fact being, if we believe something is true, we can see it, even if its not really there. Just tell yourself that your gorgeous & skinny, and you will start to believe it & wont see yourself as being chubby anymore, because sweetie, you really arent.

Q: Ohk i have a job. And the problem is i should be getting 20 hours a school week. And 40 hours on a break. Well on a regular week i only get 8 and half hours and on breaks i only get 15 hours.

Its been like this since December. Its really aggravating me because a girl the same age as me is getting more hours then me like 5 hours more.

Im thinking about searching for a new job. Because i need the hours and the money. Would it be a good idea to go out and look for a new job?

Dont tell me that i should start getting more hours soon i highly doubt it.

I work really hard at the job i have now. The girl my age hates working and complains more then anything in the world. I dont get it.

I would really like to know what you guys think i should do.

I think you should talk to you manager or boss or whatever, tell he/she that you really would like more hours, and that they wouldnt be a problem for you. You can also tell he/she about the negative feedback you've been hearing from the other employee's and dont think that they should have those hours. When I had a job like 2 monthes ago alot of the kids around me were complaining for having alot of hours and I talked to them about it and asked if they wanted to have the hours I worked and I'd take theirs and we talked to the manager and it was an even trade. Usually the boss's are understanding and managable about these things. But you have to understand that in a work place since there are usually alot of people working there, and the work is on a budget, they can only afford to give certain hours to certain people. People who have been there longer, are usually the ones who get more hours & the run of the place. You can go elsewhere if you need hours desperately, and I know you dont want to hear this but usually it works out. I had to wait a month before I got the hours that I wanted, and thats just how it works until they work you into the schedule. Cant have everything you want up front, haha. =P

Q: While i have never been for abortion, i find my self in an aknward situation. My friend thinks that she is pregnant. but she doesnt know for sure. she doesnt live close enough to a hospital to go and she cant buy a home preganancy test. I think that she is just feeling gulity because she had sex with her boyfriend and the stress i giving her these symptoms. But we have no way of knowing for sure. She says that if she is she will find the quickest way to have an abortion. I dont know what to do.

Well, if you feel that strongly about it I would try and talk to her about it and make sure its really what she wants to do, but if there is no way for her to raise a kid you have to respect her decision. Talk to her about possibly having it & giving it up for adoption, because thats better than killing it. Basically all and all just talk to her about your feelings on it and her feelings but be understanding and not force your decision on her, you know? Make sure she knows no matter what she decides to do that your here for her and dont let it effect your friendship because ultimately its her body & her decision and if she decides to have one it doesnt mean that you two arent friends or anything.

Q: hey! okay, i'm 15/f and i'm allowed to get my belly button pierced after our last cheerleading competition, which is around march 13. but, we are going to mexico for spring break on march 24, and i don't know if i should get it done before spring break or not. i want it when i'm laying on the beach and stuff but will the water in mexico and all the chlorine be bad for it? i don't know if i should get it done before or after mexico. any ideas? any info on belly button piercing would be great too!

The water & chlorine will be really good for it. Salt water is a disinfectant and so is chlorine. It might burn if its still healing but it definetely wont hurt it any. Basically its practically perfect to get it pierced around that time because when you have your belly pierced it gets infected when skin rubs up against it, some of the time. Which is why its a bad idea to get it pierced in the winter. Its deff. a seasonal piercing. I would get it pierced when you want too, but be careful with it when putting or taking clothes off. I'd, for the most part, wear a bathing suit so air can get it. Just make sure to clean it twice a day and go in the water if you want, and it should be fine =D

Q: hey,
my mum is 46 and she gets really bad bruises on her fingers after simple tasks like carrying the shopping.
She will carry a few bags of shopping home in plastic carrier bags and then she will complain about her fingers swelling up, being painful or developing bruises.
I'Ve asked her if she thinks its serious and she says its probably nothing and I'm just worried it could be some disease or something...?

please help
luv rach xxx

Its not a disease, she might just have thin blood. My grandpa has something like that and if you like touch his skin, he will get a bruise. It's no big deal. My grandpa gets it as a side effect of some medication that he takes, but hes not going to like die from it or anything. She should go to the doctors though and have them look at that because I know that its not normal, but i highly doubt its a disease or anything life threatening.

Q: Im having trouble knowing weather to ask this girl out i really like (a lot). Im 14 years old and in 8th grade and theres this girl a year younger than me in the 7th grade. Im not like the nerdy unsociable kind of guy. I have a lot of friends and i get along with almost everyone. My friend told this girl i like her (i didnt want him too) and i kind of get the impression shes not intrested. i was planning on telling her i like her and asking her out but now i feel funny after he already said something. Shes considered a 'preppy' girl and my friend said she wont go for me cause im to 'skater'. The truth is i normally go for preppy girls and i like them more. Even though i like skating and into punk and shit, i dont know if i should take my friends advice and change my image then ask her or completly ignore asking her out all together. Its a hard decision cause i like her a lot.

First. Dont change your image. NEVER change for anyone, but yourself. If a girl doesnt like you because of what you dress like then shes extremely shallow & you dont need her anyways. Plus you wouldnt be happy dressing like you were someone else. If you really like her then go for it and take a chance. The worst that can happen is that she will say no, and thats not even that bad. So, definetely take a chance & ask her. You never know, she might say yes. =D. I hope she does! But yeah whatever you do, dont change yourself.

Q: There are these freshman in my art class and they're sooo annoying! I'm pretty preppy and they think I'm sometimes overly preppy..but hey, that's just me.
Anyways, they always give me dirty looks and they talk about me..I know it. Like I see them talking about me. I don't know why they hate me...I've never done anything to them! I always try to be nice & smile to everyone! Should I confront them and ask them? Please help!

Eh, I wouldnt worry about it. Freshman are intimidated by older people and they try and be cool amongst themselves, and often start rumors & lies so people like them. Their getting the feel of the High School thing. If you want to confront them you can and ask why their giving you dirty looks for no reason what so ever, and see what they say, but I really wouldnt worry about it, haha. Stupid freshman. JAYKAY =D

Q: I met a guy on an online dating site. After just a couple of days he told me he wanted to meet me. The kicker was that he said he didn't have a car, and that I would have to drive up to see him. Remember, I've never met him, and really don't know that much about him except what he wrote about himself. At first I said yes that I would drive up after work on Saturday, but then my gut feeling and intuition were telling me not to do it. So I emailed him and cancelled the date and told him I wasnt comfortable with the arrangement, and that I would prefer he come up to see me. He wrote back and told me that the reason he didnt have a car was that he was taking public transit to save money, and that he wouldnt have a car until May. Then he said he asked to meet me too soon, and would still like to meet me. My gut feeling is telling me that this guy is a little desperate, and I want to back out of the whole thing.
I don't want to hurt his feelings. What would be a nice way to end things with him, and do you think he'll get angry? I told him at first that I wouldnt mind still sending him some getting to know you emails, but I don't even want to do that anymore. I'm thinking realistically, how is this potential relationship going to work? The guy doesnt even live in the same town as me and deosnt have a car.
Would I be a super bitch if I told him I didn't think this would be a good idea?

Well sweetie, most internet dating sites have alot of guys on there that are extremely desperate, with anger problems, possible pedifiles and want to meet up with people because their lonely. Sometimes they make up excuses as to why they cant drive to see you because they want to lure you to their house. (not trying to scare you, just being realistic). Chances are he could have been lying about who he is this whole time. I do think it is sort of soon for him to ask that considering you dont know much about him. I also wouldnt drive to a town you dont know, to meet a guy you dont know, alone. Whenever I have met someone off the internet, in person, I bring a few guy friends with me, lol. So i know if anything happens and the guy tries anything my friends are there to back me up. So maybe you should bring a guy best friend if you want to go through with it. If you still decide you dont want too just tell the guy that you just got out of a relationship and are having wierd feelings about meeting him or even talking to him. Tell him you enjoyed chatting with him while you did, and that your sorry. (Of course its a lie, but he doesnt know that =D ). Also, dont think about being a bitch about it. Your not, you just dont feel right talking to him and you should go with gut instincts. If he gets mad, oh well. Theres not much he can do about it.