So, like, I'm this guy. And like, I do stuff...
Chemist, musician, artist, programmer, coach, husband, dad, uncle, etc.
So yeah.
Advice-wise? There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Website: Not My Site!
E-mail: sporkopolis2001@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Occupation: Chemist
Age: 32
Member Since: October 16, 2003
Answers: 1249
Last Update: June 1, 2006
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I am to be Chrismated this week at my new Church. It is Melkite Greek Orthodox Catholic Church. I am disappointed that my grandparents refuse to come. On top of that they did not tell me the true reason that they aren't coming. They told me that it was the "weekly hair appointment" that couldn't be changed. Which is garbage. My father told me they would not come because their beliefs do not match. How do they know that without even walking in the church one time? I mean really. I don't know why I am suprised, but it has hurt my feelings a little bit.
They are good people and build churches as part of a mission in the Baptist Church. I have been Baptist up until now but two things have guided me to this church: the need to be a little more celebratory of Christ's Resurrection and Saviour of us people, and my fiance is the Cantor. If my fiance wasn't the Cantor or we weren't together, I would still like to be a part of this church.
I have tried and tried to explain that this is not the Roman Catholic Church and some of the things I have learned. They are so prejudiced as to what a Catholic is to them. Which at one time I heard: mean, Italian, and wrong. Which none of the three are true.
I realize that they aren't going to change to my religion ever, but I am a bit upset they wouldn't come for my sake. At least they are coming to the wedding.
So do I bug them every day until the event so that I can see them, or just let it go? How can I get them to understand my decision? (link)
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I would just express your disappointment in their decision and how you'd hope that they would be more supportive of your chioces in your spiritual journey. I wouldn't bug them incessantly about it, because that will only serve to further alienate them. One day, maybe they'll be better able to see that they are taking something that is a personal decision and trying to play family politics with it. I've always found that kind of behaviour very unfortunate. I didn't realize that loving one's grandchild required a certain christian faith. ;) I hope they come around to finally realize that this isn't about them... this is for you.
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there is someone who keeps logging on to my screen name! I think its one of my friends but everytime i ask her she denies it! the last question "i" asked i think she did. u kno the acting question. That question is totally inaccurate! I stink at acting let alone boast about it. She is in my acting class too so thats why i think its her. What do you think i can do about her cuz she wont admit it???
~Dani~
(link)
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well... make sure you log out every time you access the site, and change your password while your at it. There's nothing anyone here can do about someone logging in as you - you have to make sure you log out to keep your username secure.
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okay this is semi long so i am sorry but i really want advice: my mom died when i was 3 and i went to SO MUCH counseling. family,alone you name it. i stopped around the end of 3rd grade. but now that i am a teenager i realize how much i want/need a mother figure. i have my grandmother and i love her dearly but its not the same. i try to talk to my friends but they cant really relate and i feel bad making my problems their problems. i sort of want to go back to counseling but it costs SO MUCH and i am not sure i need it....
help me please? (link)
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Well, counseling or not, you need a confidant. You need someone you can confide in, an adult figure, a mother-figure, you can lean on. I can see how seeing a counselor has a stigma on it, and they're paid to hear you, so it just isn't the same... but is there someone, a teacher, a friend's mom, an aunt... someone? It isn't so much them becoming the mother you lost, but someone you can trust, someone you have strong ties to, someone that you feel comfortable with.
No matter what, though, I wish you luck in your search.
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i figured i should get a guys opinion so ..ok there is this guy name josh and we went out over the summer then broke up a day before school started. I still like him. we havent tlaked in a while but the other day we did a little bit. Last week my friend asked him would he ever go back out with me, and he just smiled. but he has a girlfriend. Also, alst week someone asked him would he ever go out wth this girl name brooke nad he said nnooo .. but he didnt say yes or no when someone asked about me. Then wed. at church, he sat near me but not right next to me .. it went me, his friend murphy(murphy likes me) and then josh and we talked in a group for a little bit. Do you think he still likes me? what should i do? im 14 and female and i need the truth .. please dont just tell me what i want to hear .. i need to hear the truth! (link)
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I think it is obvious that he "likes" you, but there's no telling how intense he likes you, nor is there anyway of knowing what his intent is. Why worry about the whole boyfriend/girlfriend stigma - just be friends with him... I mean, good relationships are built on solid friendships anyway, so it shoulnd't be a big deal. I see people throwing away perfectly good friends over the whole quasi-going-out bit... it really just doesn't make a lot of sense, the number of people who squash friendship over it.
It comes down to this: don't worry about it, and just let it ride. If something happens, great. If nothing happens and the two of you remain good friends, that's great too. This should be a no-lose situation.
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I have a big problem! I really need a job but I am scared to death of interviews what do I do! I would be happy to hear some advice! (link)
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Interviews aren't usually that bad. If the person interviewing you is good at what they do, they'll put you at ease and make you answering their questions easy. When answering, keep in mind the job that your applying for - a lot of times they are looking for your interpersonal skills and your reliability. And when interviewing, don't be afraid to ask them questions - the interview process is as much them getting to know you as it is you getting to know the company. You might find over the course of the interview that the job you are discussing with them would be the absolute wrong thing for you to do, or that you feel you don't fit into their company well. It is always better to find those things out ahead of time than it is to do so after they've hired you.
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Ok, about a month ago I noticed a small lump around my crotch.. I have just noticed it getting bigger.. Its about 5mm long, and 2mm high.. what do you think it is? could it possibly be cancer? if so.. what sort?
17/m (link)
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Depending on the shape, texture, and harness of the lump, it could be anything from an ingrown hair to a hernia. Basically, if you are truly concerned, go see your doctor.
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I've gotten a couple ridiculous questions in my inbox lately- disgusting questions and some that, i just don't have any idea what to say to them. but i feel bad just not answering these people. does anyone else have this problem? (link)
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There have been some instances of an anonymous poster spamming variious forms of erotica to people's inboxes, and there are, of course, stupid people who will just post the dumbest thing they can think of to random inboxes, probably hoping for a response. Don't bother answering those, there's nothing that obligates you to answering anything, so just reject those questions.
If someone asks you a legit question, but you simply have no clue how to answer it, again, don't feel like you have to answer. You can't be expected to be able to answer everything thrown your way.
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i taught myself how to play the guitar 4 yrs ago. Now my friend wants me to teach her. Everything i show her she cant understand, does anyone know where she can go.like a website,or get a book,etc. she really wants to learn and i'd really like to help her. i'd appritiate your advice. (link)
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http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=MFS&t=14
I've answered similar things several times - just browse through my column under Music and you'll find some answers.
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Here's the deal. I am 21/f. My mother and father are divorced. My father has a son (with another woman) and he has my little brother(with my mom) my whole brother stays with my mom. Every since they split 10 years ago my father has not been doing much of anything for my brother. He only gives him something on christmas and his birthday. He hardly ever sees him and I am furious. I feel he should pay child support to my mother for my whole brother. My momma is having to carry all the weight that he should be sharing. My half brother gets to see daddy all the time. Why should my half brother get all and my whole brother gets next to nothing. If it matters My half brother is 13 (born out of wedlock) and my whole brother is 12) Should I push her to stick him for child support. She feels that since my dad and my step mom raised me she has no right because he didn't stick her for child support. My mom did things for me though. Should I push her or just back off.
The lack of money is keeping my brother from things he would rather do like piano lessons, boy scouts and movie going. I don't think its fair. Help me decide! (link)
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Have you tried dropping subtle hints to your father? Like, hey, you know (brother) would like piano lessons... I don't think mom can afford them, though. Then cough really loudly ;)
I'm not sure it is fair to try to pressure your mom into forcing child support payments - it is fair to continue to talk to her about it, and it would also be fair for you to talk to your father about it, and mention that there is a noticable lack of attention paid to your brother, who is still your father's son, wether he likes it or not.
Child support payments becomes a legal issue, and there may well be reasons for your mom to not seek it. I would carefully try to discuss the issue with both sides - you're 21, hopefully your parents will at least be willing to hear you out, so long as you tread ground lightly and try not to push any family/political buttons.
No matter what, though, good luck, and I hope your litle brother appreciates how much you care about him.
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hi ive got this friend and shes usin our group of friends. like one minute she would be with us, the next she would be with these other people and then she would go onto another set of people. we've all told her but she wont listen!
wat should our group of friends do? (link)
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But how is she using you? It just sounds like she's a floater, who just moves about between a larger group of people. Really, so long as she's not doing anything malicious, that's fairly normal behaviour. It might just be that she doesn't like the typical cliques that evolve, and has chosen to have friends on her own terms.
Now, if you have some reason to claim that you feel used, which you didn't state, then we have another issue...
so, if you could maybe provide a little more info on exactly how it is that you feel used, I can add to this answer and try to give more pertinent feedback.
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so a few weeks ago i started a new diet. i'm just eating healthier; more fruit, vegetables and healthier alternatives to food i used to eat. but ever since i started i've been having to go to the bathroom alot more. is this normal? will my body eventually get used to this new food? (link)
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you're intaking more fiber from the fruits and veggies... this is normal. It isn't that your body needs to get used to it, it is that this is what fiber does to you - and it is actually healthier.
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All your base are belong to us. What you say? (link)
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For great justice.
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okay like,me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months and 2 days. and i absolutely love him with everything i have. but i feel like he's becoming too attached and serious. i'm 15 and he's 17 about to turn 18. ((thats beside the point)) but like last saturday ((march 5th)) he asked me if i would promise to marry him and he gave me a promise (("pre-engagment")) ring. well of course i said yes. because it's what i was thinking at the time. but now i'm having second thoughts. i mean i'm only 15 i have the rest of my teen years to live. i just dont know what to do. i wanna tell him were getting to serious, but i still love you and wanna be with you.
eck..someone please help! ...=]...i ratteeee!!!
--in (link)
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Ok... him offering the ring and asking that of you was mistake number one... he cannot expect you to realistically follow through - waaaay to young to make that kind of commitment. He wasn't thinking.
Mistake number 2: you accepted. Of course, you were put in an impossible position. That was horribly unfair to put that sort of pressure on you at an age when you have no clue what 3 years down the road is going to hold for you.
You've only been with him 2 months... that's nothing. That is a single drop of water in the bucket o' time...
You are absolutely right to have second thoughts. He cannot expect a commitment after only 2 months, and you being only 15... and him only nearly 18 at that. Love is a nebulous beast that changes constantly - you have no clue how long your relationship is going to last with him. I would highly question why he gave you that ring so quickly. Yeah, sure, it isn't a "real engagement ring", but it is still asking for a commitment... is he that insecure that he feels he need to try to lock you in as quickly as possible? That just seems really, really odd to me.
You state that you want to tell him that you're "getting too serious"... well yeah, this is too much, too soon. I don't know that there's a good way to say that to him. I wonder if he's rather insecure about love in the first place for him to make a move like this.
I'm sorry you've been put in such a strange and awkward position. Good luck.
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i really really hate my appreance..ne suggestions on how to make myself more comfortable wit the person i see when i look in the mirror? (link)
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Stop looking in the mirror.
(wow... I feel like I've said that before...)
If you find yourself looking into a mirror and only finding fualts, stop looking. Hell, break the mirror. Smash it. Don't let it lie to you. It is so easy for some people to play "spot the flaws!"... stop playing that game, stop doing that to yourself.
Next time you look in a mirror, flip it off. Tell the mirror to fuck off. And make sure you smile as you do it. ;)
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1) is it best to learn one foreign language at a time? or can i try to learn 2 at a time (japanese and spanish) ?
2) what foreign language would be more applicable/useful as a future nurse (or future stewardess) ?
3) is it enough to learn on-line (from all the free on-line lessons) , or should I enroll in a language course in a school?
4) pls give me tips on learning a new language =)
and maybe on how to improve my memory
thank you! =) (link)
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I can't see how an on-line course is ever going to teach someone a language. The best way to learn a language is through useage. Being in a class environment, where the instructor will only speak in the foreign language, is one of the best ways, apart from moving to a country that speaks that language and forcefully immersing yourself in it.
Keep in mind that learning a language is more than just knowing their words and grammar structures... you have to learn something about the cultures, customs, and their idioms, phrases, and expression - no book or on-line course can teach that - it has to come from shared experience and useage.
To become fluent, you have to speak it, and not just to yourself - you have to talk to people who natively speak that language... because that's when you find out how little of their language you really know...
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is it possible to get skin cancer from going to a tanning bed once for 8 minutes? (link)
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That would be extrememly odd were that to occurr. While I'm sure the odds of that happening are painfully low, you can't say that it would never happen. It just isn't likely to happen. But let's say you know that your family has a history of skin cancer, you have very fair skin, and burn easily... were that the case, then using a tanning bed would be a poor decision in the first place.
But anyway, the simple answer is: No, but it isn't impossible.
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I've been having a few problems trying to get into the chatroom lately. Everytime I open it up, it will say that it's loading Java Applet... After about 5 seconds this message shows up: java.lang.class.NotFoundException:Chat.Class. I've tried loading in several times with no luck. I'm horrible with computers so I have no clue what "java.lang.class.NotFoundException:Chat.Class" means. I've never had problems with the chatroom before and I've never been banned from it either so I don't know what the problem would be. If someone amazingly wonderful with computers could help me out that would be PERFECT! Thanks so much if you can help! (link)
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It would appear that javachat is totally dead.
The applet was provided by sorcery.net - I will guess that they pulled support for it, or that they are mucking with it and broke it.
Using one of the "real" java clients, like mIRC as Fern mentioned, is the better bet anyway.
javachat is dead... long live javachat
EDIT: Look at the current site news. ;)
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Does anyone know a very good way to get rid of warts, like on your hands and stuff, because, I've tried so many products and they suck. So, does anyone have any recommendations? (link)
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that all depends on how big it is... the salycilic acid treatments that are over-the-counter can work, but they only work on small warts. Anything more, especially warts that go deep into your skin, you'll need to have it frozen with liquid nitrogen, or have the strong salycilic acid put on it (burning it off).
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hi i'm a 18/f and i'd like to address this question to guys and guys only.
what type of makeup do you like on a girl? how little and how much? what are makeup turn-ons and turn-offs?
the reason why i'd like to conduct this simple survey is because i'm starting to see younger girls wear A TON of makeup on when it's unnecessary. i'd like to know what kind of makeup looks you guys are attracted to so it'll give all us girls a hint on how to do our makeup! thanks! (link)
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Younger girls always tend to wear too much makeup, because really, they haven't learned how to use it properly.
I am not fond of makeup at all. Maybe a very slight amount of rouge or eye liner, but really, it just doesn't do anything for me. Also, if she feels like she really has to wear makeup, she'd better make sure it actually compliments her eye color.
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Does anyone know of any basketball camps for in the summer?? cause my dad and i are going to try to find some for me..! please answer!*~ i rate..
and if you have any questions for me just ask =)
*thanks a bunch* (link)
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there are such camps in pretty much every city across the US... we have no idea where you live. Call local schools and league officials for information - they're the ones who usually run such camps.
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