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Chrismation and my grandparents
I am to be Chrismated this week at my new Church. It is Melkite Greek Orthodox Catholic Church. I am disappointed that my grandparents refuse to come. On top of that they did not tell me the true reason that they aren't coming. They told me that it was the "weekly hair appointment" that couldn't be changed. Which is garbage. My father told me they would not come because their beliefs do not match. How do they know that without even walking in the church one time? I mean really. I don't know why I am suprised, but it has hurt my feelings a little bit.
They are good people and build churches as part of a mission in the Baptist Church. I have been Baptist up until now but two things have guided me to this church: the need to be a little more celebratory of Christ's Resurrection and Saviour of us people, and my fiance is the Cantor. If my fiance wasn't the Cantor or we weren't together, I would still like to be a part of this church.
I have tried and tried to explain that this is not the Roman Catholic Church and some of the things I have learned. They are so prejudiced as to what a Catholic is to them. Which at one time I heard: mean, Italian, and wrong. Which none of the three are true.
I realize that they aren't going to change to my religion ever, but I am a bit upset they wouldn't come for my sake. At least they are coming to the wedding.
So do I bug them every day until the event so that I can see them, or just let it go? How can I get them to understand my decision?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
There is nothing wrong with your decision. You should actually try and talk with them again, and tell them exactly how you feel. It is your life, and you should live it the way you want. I'm sure you want them there, so I would tell them "This is my beliefs, you are entitled to yours, but in respect of me, I'd like you to come." Good luck ♥
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I would tell them that you understand they are of a diffrent faith but you'd really like them to be there for you. That is all you can do.
If they don't attend don't feel badly about it.
You just go with the religion that makes you feel good and they will do the same. Outside of that they love you for the person you are and I'm sure they mean no disrespect.
I wouldn't bug them about it. Just explain your feelings about it and leave it at that. They may never understand your decision, that is okay.It is yours alone to make.
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I would just express your disappointment in their decision and how you'd hope that they would be more supportive of your chioces in your spiritual journey. I wouldn't bug them incessantly about it, because that will only serve to further alienate them. One day, maybe they'll be better able to see that they are taking something that is a personal decision and trying to play family politics with it. I've always found that kind of behaviour very unfortunate. I didn't realize that loving one's grandchild required a certain christian faith. ;) I hope they come around to finally realize that this isn't about them... this is for you.
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Talk to them about it and explain to them why this is so important to you...If they really do care, then they will go...
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if it would make you happy than stand by tour decision and explain to them it hurts and that it means alot to you and well if they still dont tell you why or dont tell you than forgret them
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Dear Chrismation,
Wow. This is an excellent letter. First, please do not be too hard on your grandparents. Religion and beliefs are VERY touchy subjects to a lot of people. The important thing is that you are doing this for yourself. It's something you believe in and makes you feel good. However, it seems you may have been raised in a completely different church and your grandparents may be offended that you've switched your beliefs. People can only act on what they know and what they know is the Baptist Church. The fact that they and you are good people is not what's in doubt here. You disagree on this issue. That's okay. You are absolutely not going to agree on lots of issues with your family. I would suggest to let it go. I would also suggest that you go to your grandparents and tell them that you know they aren't going because of their own beliefs. Also, tell them you understand that and you will respect that because they are important to you. Say that you will be sad that they won't be there but you will be thinking about them and really wish they would attend. If you do this sincerely and in a very mature way, you never know, they may come to be there for you and if they don't, at least there won't be additional issues. You can agree to disagree.
Congratulations by the way, on your upcoming marriage. Good luck.
Linda
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