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Should I push her?
Here's the deal. I am 21/f. My mother and father are divorced. My father has a son (with another woman) and he has my little brother(with my mom) my whole brother stays with my mom. Every since they split 10 years ago my father has not been doing much of anything for my brother. He only gives him something on christmas and his birthday. He hardly ever sees him and I am furious. I feel he should pay child support to my mother for my whole brother. My momma is having to carry all the weight that he should be sharing. My half brother gets to see daddy all the time. Why should my half brother get all and my whole brother gets next to nothing. If it matters My half brother is 13 (born out of wedlock) and my whole brother is 12) Should I push her to stick him for child support. She feels that since my dad and my step mom raised me she has no right because he didn't stick her for child support. My mom did things for me though. Should I push her or just back off.
The lack of money is keeping my brother from things he would rather do like piano lessons, boy scouts and movie going. I don't think its fair. Help me decide!
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Talk to your father, say, "Hey, I am so furious with the way you've behaved towards your son, you have to pay child support for both of these kids, what you are doing is clearly wrong, and I am upset with you." He is wrong, trust me, and you need to get your mom involved, tell him that she is broke and needs money, this kid is being treated wrong.
-TheTeenGirl
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I think he's legally supposed to give you mom child support. Ask your mom about the specifics of the divorce settlement. You should encouage your mom to ask him for child support if the settlement states that he would help out. If he refuses, she should take him to court.
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I think I would give her some encouragment.Your dad is just as responsible for your little brother as he was for you and your half.Be careful that you guys don't hold any resentment for the littlest one. Your dads behavior isn't his fault (not that you do anyway just mentioning).It's nice he thinks of him at holidays but he is responsible for every aspect of his life until he is at least 18.Your mother shouldn't carry the burden alone.I totally agree with you. Push a little.
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Pushing her is perhaps a bad idea, but it's definitely worth raising the issue with her and attempting to persuade her by talking to her about why you think it would benefit your younger brother. Don't pressurize her if she does disagree with you, as it sounds she might, but do go through all the arguments you've mentioned here, that lack of money does stop your brother doing things he wants, that your father could definitely contribute more and that he doesn't support him in other ways to compensate for the lack of financial support. This is different from pushing her. You shouldn't make her feel she has to do this if it's not something she actually wants, but explaining your views on the subject may help her come around to your way of seeing it and realise that she wants to approach your father about child support.
The issue of your father seeing your brother and paying him enough attention is different. I would raise this issue with your father. Sound positive rather than like you are attacking him, with comments like "I think (name of your brother) would really appreciate if you spent a bit more time together. He really enjoyed it when you last visited/sent that birthday gift" or similar, which is more like to get a response than nagging or making him feel guilty . You could also mention to your father rather than your mother that you think your brother would benefit from being given money so he could have piano lessons. If your mother has issues with 'sticking' your father for child support when he didn't do this to her, an informal system where your dad does help out a little financially with miscelaneous costs like piano lessons or after school activities could be ideal, as your mother is getting some help so your brother benefits, but neither your mother or father feel akward or resentful for having to get lawyes involved to demand money, which is always awkard and uncomfortable. All the best.
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I think you should ask your dad about it. Maybe try to convince him to spend time/money for your brother. If that doesn't work, tell your mom she should ask for child support. Besta Luck
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Push her to fight for child support. My mother did and my family is the same as yours. My family and i had to push my dad to give us child support. There's 7 of us. My brother lives with my dad and my 2 sisters and i live with my mom. The other 3 girls live in New Jersey California and Near Kenny Wood! So we never see my dad. Except for Christmas and Birthdays. Which is nearly never.
Hope i helped,
Christine
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Have you tried dropping subtle hints to your father? Like, hey, you know (brother) would like piano lessons... I don't think mom can afford them, though. Then cough really loudly ;)
I'm not sure it is fair to try to pressure your mom into forcing child support payments - it is fair to continue to talk to her about it, and it would also be fair for you to talk to your father about it, and mention that there is a noticable lack of attention paid to your brother, who is still your father's son, wether he likes it or not.
Child support payments becomes a legal issue, and there may well be reasons for your mom to not seek it. I would carefully try to discuss the issue with both sides - you're 21, hopefully your parents will at least be willing to hear you out, so long as you tread ground lightly and try not to push any family/political buttons.
No matter what, though, good luck, and I hope your litle brother appreciates how much you care about him.
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