Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30939
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So I have been dating this guys for almost a month now and I am beginning to really develope feelings for him. We hang out almost every day and have gone on a number of dates. The only problem is that I told him I was 20 when im really 19. He is 27. I have a fake I.D. so I am still able to go to bars with him where we spend a lot of our time together. I have always hung out with older people and I tell everyone I'm 20. This lie is killing me. Lying about my age has never bothered me before. I have been doing it since I was 15. But every time I'm with him it is all I can think about. I really want to be honest with him but I dont know how he will react. He is looking to settle down and so am I. I am very mature for my age but I feel like he wont take me seriously if he knew I was only 19. I dont know what to do.. any advice?? and I know that I need to tell him but HOW?? (link)
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Your real age will make no difference. So don't sweat it. Now if you told him you were 25 THAT would be a problem. But you only told the whitest of white lies. Take note of how you felt about lying and resolve to not do it in the future.
I also have to say this: when I was 27, I went out with a 19 year old. There was such a huge gap in maturity and life experience that it ultimately contributed to the dissolution of the relationship. This may happen with your current relationship, though perhaps not. It just depends on the chemistry and mindsets of the two of you.
By the same token, everyone needs that exploratory part of their life and so getting tied down at 19 is generally a bad idea. Your brain will continue to develop until age 25 and you may not feel the same way at that age that you do now. So take your time with this current relationship, focus on what you can learn from it and then take stock when you're 26 or older and see if you want to get married.
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As a teenager, I always hung out with guys more than girls. Though I was never overly attractive, but I always seemed to be the only girl or one of 2 girls out a few geeky guys in a group. I never focused on dating through high school and it didn't become until the spring semester of my first year in college did I get into my first relationship
This relationship, just happened to be with a friend that I knew casually since I was in 7th grade, so figure we go back.. a good 6 years and now we we are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and lied to me, rarely spent any money on me..I still gave him chances to fix things and chances to make me happy. We haven't spoken since June, but I still love him with everything I got. Always will no matter what.
During our on and off, I started hanging with a co-worker from work. Though we were just friends.. we cuddled and times when we would spend the night together, he would wrap his arms around me..or he would take mine and wrap them around his. We only slept together twice, casual we felt aroused not the "I want you so badly" type. I never had emotion while sleeping with him, as I knew I didn't love him like I loved my ex. My so-called best friend stole this guy from me.. and he and I ended up having a falling out as he tried to hide and lie to me about this.. a few weeks after this had al exploded, he had moved across the country in October 2010. He texts me and facebooks me, tells me how much he loves and misses me.. and how cute we were together.. here and there, everytime I get upset over this.. because I liked him..and he messed with my head always cuddling with me, then went behind my back and dated my so-called best friend.. then tells me how he loves me, and how he messed up? I no longer feel the need to constantly talk to him every single day, like we used to when he was living here...it's starting to get quite fustrating.
After my friend co-worker had moved away, I started to talk to a different guy I used to work with before I transferred stores, we exchanged numbers..and texted and spoke on the phone for hours on end. We would hang out a lot, drive around, kiss and hold hands. He'd buy me food and come visit me on my breaks, he got me to open up and it made feel really good that I could trust someone again. We talked about so many things in life while i was iffy about the whole thing. The problem was.. he was 31, while I was only 20. We had a fall out, because he is a player..and some chick decided to pick up his phone and tell me off.. and drama started to flow through my old work place..and my current workplace since day one when someone saw us together
I then moved away for seven months, had the time of my life.. talked to guys.. hung out.. went to dinner once with a guy, never held hands or kissed anyone while I was gone.. When I came home, I found myself talking to the too -old-for-me guy again, as friends.. though I had no intentions to dealing with the drama.. it was nice to catch up..we hung out twice..and in texts he would tell me that if it wasn't for the age difference, we would be together...yes that hurt, but I had no intentions on being friends again.. let alone date him. Yet again things fell apart, when I decided to mess with his head and make him think that I wanted him when I didn't.. and he called me stupid and told me that he had a girl and i just didn't get it. we stopped talking..Am I happy? Oh very. I couldn't deal with the drama that flew around the friendship, and I don't have the energy to put effort into a friendship that fell apart the first time.
The thing is..I'm 21..and after being single for all of 2011.. I guess I'm starting to experience loneliness..I want someone there. I'm not looking because you you look you can't find it(hence how this idiot came back into my life after I came home). I just simply don't have the energy and effort for a relationship anymore.. I feel like I can't give guys the affection and energy and effort I used to have. (link)
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You are going for guys who are all unavailable to you emotionally. Was your dad available in your life? If not, if he was absent either physically or emotionally you are doing that a lot of women do, repeat their home life in their personal lives. The only real cure for that is therapy/counseling.
By the way, when you invite a guy to your house he is expecting sex. So don't do it unless you are either having a party with other people involved or you want to have a relationship with him.
It's evident your pretty immature when it comes to dealing with men because you started late with relationships. That isn't a crime, it just is what it is. People all bloom at different times.
The mental trick to conquering loneliness is to have a concrete idea of what you want in a partner and then don't settle until you get it (of course, nobody is perfect, so you gotta have a little wiggle room in there). When you give in to loneliness and the desperation it fosters you effectively allow others to manipulate you and you hate yourself for it. So take some control, determine what the agenda for your life is and then move forward without allowing anyone to sabotage you.
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I'm 17 years old and female obviously.
This is really embarrassing but it's never happened to me before so I don't know if I should be worried or not..
I was just on the computer online shopping when I moved my leg and felt more wet 'down there' than normal. My first thought was my period. But when I checked it was just normal whiteish fluid, like from arousel. Slightly gooey. And it smelt like I was aroused, but I wasn't at all.
It was so bad it started dripping down my legs when I wasn't quick enough to wipe it away. It also coated the crotch of my underwear. This has NEVER happened to me before so I don't really know what to think. Is there something wrong?
I'm a virgin and the last time I masurbated was like three days ago, if that could help any possible answers. (link)
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At your age sometimes stuff like that is going to happen because of your evolving body. Don't worry about it. Let nature do its thing and just write it off to what it is.
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How long does it take a man to cum during sex (link)
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Every man is different.
If a man is quick on the trigger, so to speak, he can masturbate or you can give him oral or a handjob to ejaculation before sex, which will help him last longer when he gets it back up again and can engage in penetration. While he is waiting to firm up again, he can give his partner plenty of foreplay.
Also, the best strategy from a mental perspective for a man to defer orgasm is to just clear his mind, let his muscles go limp rather than trying to think of things other than how good the sex feels (anything one tries to suppress will express itself at the soonest possible instant) and just become a kind of penis pumping machine. Then once he has gotten his partner off, he can switch his brain back on and get off himself. This works for me.
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since i was a freshmen & a virgin i have always been bullied and told i was a slut and to be honest i had only kissed one guy and i thought it was just a temporary thing. when i finally lost my virginity at 16 with a guy i liked a lot i had left him for i was embarrassed and ashamed that i didn't wait. so i didn't have sex for the rest of the year until i met another guy who i was with and had sex with him but that didn't last very long and so i went on and didn't have sex for another year and during that time i use to always drink & people just couldn't stop thinking i was a slut and i was having sex with the world so when i had a new boyfriend months later & quit drinking & stayed with him people from my old school kept repeating to him that i was a slut and to be honest it's embarrassing though i know im not & he knows, it sucks because i can't seem to get people to believe me. If i have a guy friend they think i'm doing him too and i hate that, what should i do? by the way i'm 19 now (link)
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You are caught up in the biggest enemy of any girl or woman, overthinking. So first, relax and disengage yourself emotionally from this. Now let's look at some facts:
1. You are giving way too much power over your psyche to bullies. Their opinions are meaningless because the bully agenda is so screwed up and often based in fear and insecurity. Therefore, taking anything they say seriously results in a lot of unnecessary wasted energy. So dismiss anything they say out of hand.
2. You are still pretty confused out of what you want in regard to partners. At your age, this is very normal. You made some mistakes, but everybody does. So you are no different from anyone else in that regard.
3. You are feeling guilt and shame from how you perceive you handled things in the past. There is good and bad about this. The good is that the past mistakes become examples of what not to do; the bad is that you can eat yourself up emotionally over it even though your intentions were not to hurt people. Sometimes, people just put themselves in no win situations. All you can do is learn from them, So stop attaching value judgments and resolve to be more certain in how you feel about someone in the future before you commit yourself.
4. There is no such thing as a slut, especially in your case. Your body is your own anyway and you can't let third parties interfere with how you use it. Sex is like anything else: you manage it responsibly to minimize possible negative outcomes. I personally never ask my girlfriends about their past partners because it is not only none of my business, but if she comes to the relationship acting in good faith and isn 't bringing any diseases into my bed how wild she may have been before she met me is a non-issue. People evolve over time, as you are.
You seem pretty sincere to me. As long as you try to act ethically you're a good person, no matter what bullshit anyone else might spout about you. Moreover, nothing that goes on in high school will count later in life anyway. So don't obsess on it. Relax and keep things as simple and uncomplicated as possible and you'll be fine.
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I'm 13 years old and I wear g-strings. Is that to young? (link)
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If that is what you want to do I don't see any harm per se in it. However, other people might judge you for it because lingerie like that is linked to sex and 13 year olds should not be engaging in it. If your mom wants you to stop wearing them it is a battle that isn't worth fighting. A nice pair of bikini style panties can be just as hot if the panty style is linked to how attractive you feel in your mind.
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basically i think i broke my hymen i dont actully know .. i know stupid but like i fell down but kind of awkwardly against a wall all the pressure of the fall went on my hips and when i went to the bathroom i saw a small amount of blood but i wasnt on my period
i tried looking at my special area in the mirror but all i saw was a hole .. no extra bit of skin around it
so like what ya think do you think i dont have one anymore? (link)
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The hymen isn't really something you need and it can be broken in myriad ways that have zero to do with sex. So relax. It happens. You aren't any less of a person for it and you are still a virgin.
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I'm a girl and almost 13 and I've started my period, I accidentally fingered myself and it kinda hurt (don't ask, it's a long story) but can someone please tell me... I don't know what's going to happen. I've looked everywhere for advice and now I'm really embarrassed and scared... Am I going to get... You know what... Pre.....? (link)
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Your body is still evolving and occasionally weird stuff is going to seem to happen. Just relax and let time take care of things. If you have any concerns see a doctor and he/she can put you right. You might also want to use web resources to read up on sex and pregnancy.
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im 14
well, ive been dating my boyfriend Jonny for about 3 weeks now. & im not 'in love' with him. hes a sweet guy and everything, but im not in love with him like i thought i would have been. me and him went through so much to be togher :/ befor we dated he was my bestfriend. and i always went to him for all my guy problems, and like i cant help but think of other guys sometimes.
i really dont wanna lose him bc i really like him. like, is it a good thing that im not in love so early in the relationship? or should i end it befor it gets seriouse? :/ (link)
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Just tell him that you are still trying to figure out your feelings when it comes to boys and that you got hung up by conflicting emotions and things went a little further than they should have because that is the truth. Then tell him he is a great friend but that is all.
Could you lose him, even as a friend, as a result? Yes. But you have to do what is right for you and then let the chips fall where they may. The takeaway is to reflect on what happened here and learn from it. You had no ill intention, so any guilt is unnecessary.
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well what if a guy has the balls to go flirt with another girl and hold her hand while you were dating him and trys to ignore you , is he trying to get me to dump him! >:( (link)
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That is really passive aggressive and putting up with it makes you look needy. The guy also needs to grow a pair and speak up if he wants to end the relationship rather than trying to provoke you into doing it for him.
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I love his personality but Im not attracted to him physically at ALL. I don't want to sound shallow but that's how I feel. I could talk to him for hours on the phone and laugh and have a great time but when I look at him I just don't feel like I could kiss him. I feel like the most I could do is cuddle and hold hands. I feel horrible and I wish I could be physically attracted to him but I'm not. What should I do? (link)
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Get yourself a gay friend. He will fulfill the same role as the guy you speak of now.
Also, no need to feel guilty. Everyone has his/her preferences. But you do have to be honest and tell the guy that he is on the friend list, which means he will have zero chance of seeing you naked, and that you don't see him as a boyfriend.
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I had been going to private school my entire life and when I got on the bus in the mornings for the first time on my second day at my new public school I got lost because I had no idea where to go. I ran through a bunch of hallways and then asked a teacher for help (I know who the AP Calculus teacher is now!). But when I found my way back to what looked familiar, I realized that I was late for History. I got to class five minutes late, but my teacher marked me absent and it showed up on my report card! I had been so confused! Is this fair? (link)
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Don't worry about it. It is meaningless.
I have a story for you: I transferred schools the second semester of my sophomore year back in the 1970's. Well, the new school had two different lunch periods (this enabled them to more efficiently use classroom space for what at the time was a growing student body). It took me a couple of days to figure out which one I was supposed to use for my class schedule since at my previous school there was only one lunch period.
So I ended up arriving like 15 minutes late in my biology class because of that confusion. I felt like a total dipshit, but it was no big deal in reality since the teacher knew I had just transferred.
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21/f. so... i'm the first person who gives the advice "he/she is just not that into you..," but this guy is confusing. he isn't very easy to read. i had that mentality for a long time when guys just didn't really give me the response I was waiting for to show me that he liked me. but, one of my cousins taught me a lesson. he's been in love with this girl for a long time. but, he's extremely shy. he use to be even worst! now that he left town for medical school, he's a little bit more assertive. but, he's never even had his first kiss... and he's 25. i know that this is a little extreme and this guy is not like that. But, it made me realize that there are guys who are extremely shy and need a little bit of a push.
so... this guy and i are in a club together. he's very cute and not too tall, which is nice because i'm very petite. but, he does little things that hint at me that he likes me. like, he knows what i like to drink and brings it to me when we're somewhere. he always gives me a hug when he sees me. during sorority recruitment at the beginning of the semester, he kept asking me every day how it went and wanted to know if I was happy with the sororities I was seeing so far. the other night, he and i went to the movies, with other people from our club. it was a scary movie so we ended up holding hands and all of that. i could tell that he was so happy. he didn't even try to let go of my hand that quick when we were leaving the theatre. but, since there were other people there, it would have been a little awkward if we would have stayed holding hands. it was only like 3 other people and trust me, it would have been awkward. but he was walking next to me the whole time and before i left, he hugged me again.
thinking about it, he reminds me SO much of my cousn... just not to that extreme. i know he's dated before. but, it seems like when he likes someone, he needs like a push... a reassurance of some sort. like, he grabbed my hand after i grabbed his arm. he needs like a green light. i can understand that. i just don't know how to give it to him because i'm not a very assertive girl. i don't think that's what he needs either. he just needs a little bit of a push, like I said. But, I'm very traditional and I've always let guys make the first move and all of that. but, i know i'm dealing with a shyer one here, and that's ok :)
Suggestions? (link)
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"Hey, you would make a great boyfriend, especially for me."
You're welcome.
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I asked a similar question like this a while ago, so it may be a little repetitive. But I had to had a lot of extra information to this one, and I'm dealing with a completly different problem now, so here we go. There are two main questions here both tying in to the same story (I apologize for the length, but this is very important)
My friend is extremely bipolar. To the point where she's crying in a corner during a party ten minutes after dancing, and when I ask what the reason is she says she just feels sad. It's heartbreaking- she can be such a optomistic, adorable, happy girl one minute, and a crying, cutting, suicidal one the next. Yes, she does cut, she has been for almost a year. And she's recently become suicidal.
The suicidal thing scares me the most. She got really close at one point, and I did what all the online websites tell you to do and I told guidance, but it only made things worse. She became much more depressed, and lied through her teeth to get out of the hospital. A month later, she's back and worse than ever. She can't stand doctors of any kind, and she hates therapists because of how they are forced to tell the parents if a patient is suicidal or showing sucidal thoughts. I know that if I go to guidance or her parents or the hospital, it will only make things worse and push her closer and closer to the edge. But I need to find things out fast- she told me a long time ago a certain time she planned to do it, and she says she sometimes things she will still do it during that time, and it scares me.
SO HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS
1. What are some good ways (other than therapists and medication) that she can get over the bipolar disorder? Anything I can do to help?
2. What should I do about her suicidal plans? (link)
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Unfortunately, you're kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't. The bipolar issue is probably related to an imbalance in her brain chemistry and there is nothing you can do about it, especially if she won't take her meds.
The only thing you can do at this point is to be supportive of her but steel yourself for one day getting that devastating phone call.
The most important thing for you here is to not blame yourself. You are too young to have the moxy of a social worker or a therapist. Some people, unfortunately, and I have seen it in my own life, are just doomed. Sad you had to find that out in such a direct manner. You acted in good faith and that is all anyone could possibly ask.
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im12 i just got a boy friend 1or2 weeks ago and his little sister is my only girl friend / best friend and shes mad because i'm spending more time playing with him and not her.witch one should i choose mbest friend or boy friend and i dont want to break up with him ill just stop hanging out with him instead ill play with her
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This is a conflict that both sexes have to deal with. You obviously value both your friend and your boyfriend. Tell her that when she gets a boyfriend she will understand the desire for you and your boyfriend to have some occasional privacy but that it is still important to you to have her as some part of your life. Check around to see if anyone likes her and then try to arrange a hook up for her.
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What is the best way to finger a girl during sexual intercourse ? (link)
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You can't finger a girl during sex because your penis is in that space. You can rub her clit, though, during sex, which will definitely add to her pleasure. The best position for this is doggy or her on her side and then you just reach around and rub it.
As far as fingering itself as foreplay, just inside the opening of the vagina and on its upper wall there is her "g spot." It will feel like ridges to you. Very gently stroke that area with your fingertips (make sure your nails are trimmed or this can really hurt) with a steady rhythm and it is best of you do that in conjunction with licking and sucking her clit.
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I m a virgin. I had sex wit my b.f many times but he dont entered his penis inside my virgina but he rubbed out..we have non virginal sex. .do does it lead to pregnancy.?bt i missed my periods and we do it all without any protection..is there any chances of being pregnent? (link)
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If there has been no entrance of any part of the penis into any part of the vagina then there is very little chance of pregnancy provided that his cum hasn't been dripped or spurted near the opening, where some sperm might be able to sneak in.
Btw, you can get pregnant if he penetrates you but then pulls out before he ejaculates. A boy secretes a substance called "precum" when he is aroused and it contains lots of sperm. That is why the pullout method is NOT birth control.
My advice: Sit across from each other or side by side and engage in mutual masturbation and make sure he ejaculates on his own body or if you give him a handjob you direct his semen away from anywhere below your waist.
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Hi I'm 13/f
Ok first i wanna say that my mom is one of those old fashioned moms and she thinks that tampons "pop your cherry". I strongly disagree with her. so i Googled it, and what do i see? A bunch of girls saying the same thing! So i guess what I'm asking is how do I tell my mom that what she thinks is not true?
Thanks to any answers in advice! (link)
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The hymen is a vestigal part of your body (in other words, just about totally useless like the appendix is, for example). So it's immaterial if a tampon busts the hymen, As long as you haven't had a penis in your vagina you're still a virgin. Period.
However, there can be problems with super absorbent tampons (toxic shock syndrome, which can be fatal). So ask your gynecologist about this issue. There is nothing wrong with using pads and if your mom prefers that you use those over tampons then this isn't something worth arguing over. Her excuse for not using tampons, though, is pure horse puckey, though.
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I am a young woman ( 15 years ) of age i need a job and i need it bad i am trying to find a job but there is one problem i don't know where to look and or what place would hire me since im so young could you help me? (link)
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As much as having a work ethic is a good thing, you should use that at this point in your life to focus on school. Work can often get in the way of school and you shouldn't let that happen. Relax, kick butt in school and let the rest take care of itself.
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I had oral sex twice, and before you say anything hear me out. I was 16 years old and very naive. During that time I was going through an emotional and mental roller coaster from abuse to suicide. I'll admit at the point in my life I wasn't 100% there. Even when I did oral sex it wasn't sexual for me, i panic and reacted to the situation. I was always panic when I'm around guys because i was abuse sexually. Anyway, I feel in my heart that I am a virgin because what I did honestly wasn't sexual at all. Am I still a virgin? (link)
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I'm sorry you experienced the abuse. It is thus understandable that you are rather gunshy around guys.
Virginity involves a question of penetration. If you haven't had sexual intercourse before you are a virgin, no matter how many times you've given oral sex.
By the way, try not to feel guilty about what you did in the past. You are at such a young age that you can literally wake up tomorrow and totally reset your life. Look at the past as a learning experience and try as much as possible to take the emotions out of it (other than, perhaps, "well, when this happened, I felt such and such a way at the time, was that constructive? And how do I approach that in the future?").
Also, virginity really isn't that big a deal. Sex isn't dirty or evil. It is just a normal part of the human experience and, like anything else in life, you have to handle it responsibly in order to avoid possible negative consequences. Don't attack or pick at yourself. You have no need to feel guilt over being an abuse victim (and there are millions of you out there, unfortunately) or reacting to things rashly at times (every human being does). Just be in control of your life by having goals and not letting anyone get in the way of them, including the boys/men in your life. As long as you act ethically and are considerate of others you will be a good person. When you are a good person you can love yourself because you deserve it.
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