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How do i explain this to my mom?
Hi I'm 13/f
Ok first i wanna say that my mom is one of those old fashioned moms and she thinks that tampons "pop your cherry". I strongly disagree with her. so i Googled it, and what do i see? A bunch of girls saying the same thing! So i guess what I'm asking is how do I tell my mom that what she thinks is not true?
Thanks to any answers in advice!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
The hymen is a vestigal part of your body (in other words, just about totally useless like the appendix is, for example). So it's immaterial if a tampon busts the hymen, As long as you haven't had a penis in your vagina you're still a virgin. Period.
However, there can be problems with super absorbent tampons (toxic shock syndrome, which can be fatal). So ask your gynecologist about this issue. There is nothing wrong with using pads and if your mom prefers that you use those over tampons then this isn't something worth arguing over. Her excuse for not using tampons, though, is pure horse puckey, though.
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Why do you disagree? What is your definition of "popping your cherry"..? Simply means breaking your hymen.. which tampons can certainly do.
In all honesty, I wouldn't worry about tampons for a little while. You're only 13 and they can be quite tricky for first starters. Finding ones with the right absorbancy, application, the comfort side of things.. and the big deal - Toxic Shock Syndrome. You can die from TSS.
Your mother is probably trying to prevent unecessary problems.
You've got all the time in the world to try them, so don't sweat it. :)
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This is a tuff subject to address with your Mom as it appears to be something she is not only adamant about but she is also correct in. A tampon can break your Hymen depending on how your Hymen is shaped and positioned. All Hymens have a hole in them so blood can flow out. If you are able to but the tampon in through his hole the question becomes can you remove it without tearing the Hymen after the tampon swells up.
There are a number of reason your mother may not want you using a tampon right know. The biggest reason being Toxic Shock Syndrome. It is recommended that a tampon be changed at least every 8 hours or more often to avoid Toxic Shock Syndrome. Your mother may feel you are not reliant enough to trust you to be diligent in changing your tampon often enough. She may have other reason but this one is the biggest.
You also have valid reasons for wanting to use tampons. You have to convince mom that your reasons are valid enough for her to allow you to use tampons. I could see if you are a swimmer or on a swim team. Play sports, such as Tennis, Soccer, or field hockey. Then a tampon is better than a pad for protection and does not give off an embarrassing signal if you spread you legs during the game. Also you cannot swim using a pad.
If any of the reasons I listed are valid for you then you might be able to reach a compromise with your mother. Just remember the definition of a compromise is a solution or agreement no one likes but everyone can agree to.
If you need to use a tampon from the reasons I listed ask you mom if you could use them during those times. All other times, while at home, sleeping and at school you will wear a pad. If I were your dad I would help you convince your mom that this is a good compromise that she should agree to. I truly believe this agreement resolves your issues, as I listed them, and resolves your mothers issues which are probably not the loss of your Hymen.
Even if your mom is "Old Fashion" she has to be educated enough in today's world to realize you can loose your Hymen in a hundred different ways that do not include using a tampon or having sex. So try the compromise I suggested if it is applicable to your situation.
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Girls are different when it comes to inserting tampons and your mum probably has her reasons for not wanting you to use them. Especially since they can 'break' your hymen. However what you do have to think about is if your mum is only stopping you because she doesn't want to 'popping your cherry', as there is no harm in that at your age, as many girls tear their hymen doing sports like horse riding or cycling etc.
You may want to speak to your mum about why she does not want you to use tampons as she may have reasons as they can cause discomfort and in very rare occasions it can cause TTS. Maybe also tell her why you want to use them, if you have a proper/valid reason then she may be less reluctant to letting you. E.g. using tampons allow you to swim, shower, and bathe with a tampon in place and they are discreet.
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You can't really tell her that it's not true. And your mom obviously knows more than you do. They do rupture your hymen. I don't think you can convince her otherwise. Sorry.
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Probably start by explaining to her that you found out she was right.
Not everyone is built the same down there.
Some openings are larger than others. Some hymen are shaped differently than others.
While it is possible for many girls to get the tampon IN... once it absorbs the blood and swells up, it is them too large to come back out.
Ask an emergency room doctor about the number of times they have to cut the hymen of a girl who didn't listen, so they can get the thing out and she doesn't die of Toxic Shock Syndrome.
There are exceptions... but if you are going with the averages, then your mother is right.
There are thousands of girls your age who have posted about rupturing their hymen when they inserted a tampon. They aren't lying.
You can disagree with your mother all you want, but disagree about something else because the facts are on her side with this one. ;-)
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