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my boyfriends not the one :\
im 14
well, ive been dating my boyfriend Jonny for about 3 weeks now. & im not 'in love' with him. hes a sweet guy and everything, but im not in love with him like i thought i would have been. me and him went through so much to be togher :/ befor we dated he was my bestfriend. and i always went to him for all my guy problems, and like i cant help but think of other guys sometimes.
i really dont wanna lose him bc i really like him. like, is it a good thing that im not in love so early in the relationship? or should i end it befor it gets seriouse? :/
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just tell him that you are still trying to figure out your feelings when it comes to boys and that you got hung up by conflicting emotions and things went a little further than they should have because that is the truth. Then tell him he is a great friend but that is all.
Could you lose him, even as a friend, as a result? Yes. But you have to do what is right for you and then let the chips fall where they may. The takeaway is to reflect on what happened here and learn from it. You had no ill intention, so any guilt is unnecessary.
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if you're not yet sure better end it as soon as possible.
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As young as you two are, honestly are not ready for a serious commitment. Don't kid yourself on this. However he may not understand right away if you decide to be be friends but he will find other girls and you will find other guys. Of course no guy likes to be "friendzoned" regardless of age.
I can't really answer this question in too much detail due to the lack of detail here, however I have to ask a few questions in return.
1) Is the relationship mutually dispassioned? (Does he talk about you in front of his friends as his girlfriend, PDAs, etc?) If not, things should be somewhat easier.
2) Was there an actual declaration of the relationship? An oral "contract" of sorts?
3) Look at his actions, is he chasing you or drifting back a little? Drifting is a sneaky way of killing passion (see fulfillment).
These factors can effect the impact of the breakup. Of course I can't promise if hes not a chaser or PDA'er that he won't be a little sore.
If your going to break up with him, just be honest. Assuming at his age he is new in the dating field he won't see the cliches for what they are. Don't try to put pillows around "dispassioned" because that will drive some guys crazy and hurt his pride worse than just being honest with him. It will sting but your at least setting him free with no expectations (Relationships with second and third chances are never the same anyway).
It's better to let him go now if your thinking of being with other relationships. Honesty+seeing others is still honesty. Dishonesty+seeing others= cheating. Trust me, cheating is way worse.
I wish you the best of luck. It aint easy but it's necessary. He may want to continue the relationship if its a friendship-first relationship in the beginning, but don't expect to be without an awkward stage. All relationships are a gamble.
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Well you know it's ONLY been 3 weeks?
I'm confused by this question because I don't know exactly what you're looking for in a relationship. You know that there is no actual "spark" that they speak of. When you get into a relationship there is a "honeymoon" phase where you're 'goo goo ga ga' for each for at least for a couple of months. I guess if you don't feel the way you think you're suppose to then it's best to end it now and be honest with him than rather continue a relationship where you don't feel the same way.
I dated my best friend. We were friend for 7 months and then dated for a year and a half. I started to feel at the end that I wasn't happen and there was another guy on my mind that I wanted to be with. I was always trying to find ways to tell my boyfriend at the time and I just couldn't. I didn't want to hurt him and it was really hard to tell him how I felt.
My advice is be honest with him and yourself and move on. It's best you do this now rather than waiting later to tell him. Put yourself in his shoes hwo would you feel if he did this to you?
Honesty is the BEST policy!
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you should probably end the relationship before it gets to serious because if he isn't the one then your gonna end up unhappy then after you break up just try to be friends and move on.
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While no, you don't know what real love is, I will say that what you're really talking about is chemistry. There isn't that "spark" that makes you excited and attracted, which is what's missing. You like him, but it's not a romantic like, just a platonic friendly like.
If this is the case, yes, end it.
No clue if you can salvage things. He might feel the spark when you don't, he might not be able to be friends with you because he wants to date you and he can't settle for less. But if you can't date him there isn't anything that can be done about it, when one out of two friends wants romance the friendship is pretty much doomed no matter what, it's just a matter of time until it falls apart.
Love takes months or years but chemistry is usually pretty immediate. When it's not there things just don't work out. Thinking about other guys three weeks in is most definitely not normal relationship progress, my vote is end it before it gets any more serious or he gets any more settled into thinking you're both on the same page and like each other the same way. It's the kindest and most respectful way you can treat things. Don't tell him you think about other guys, just tell him that the spark isn't there, that you care about him as a friend and that you don't think that your feelings for him are romantic, and that he deserves someone who feels about him the same way he feels about them.
He might ask if he did something wrong or if he could do something to fix it. Tell him that it's not about fixing it or there being something broken, it's about you explored your feelings and that the romance just isn't there, and never was. You wanted to see if it could be, but in the end you just feel the same way about him you've always felt, that he's an awesome friend who you care about and want to still be friends with.
Lust and love are different but you won't fall in love with someone you don't lust after to some degree.
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Your 14... you do not know what love is.. it takes a while for someone to know what love is, it's okay to date your best friend..
If you become in love so early in a relationship, your confusing lust with love.
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Are you for real? Like...is this a joke question? Apologies if it's not, and here's my answer:
1. You're 14. 14 Year old's don't even know what love is. Even when you think you're in love, you're not. That's just liking someone a lot. I'm 20 and I don't know what love is.
2. It does not take 3 weeks for love to develop. It takes YEARS for true love to kick in.
3. You say 'before it gets serious'. If its not serious, then Love cannot exist.
4. We all think of other people when in a relationship.
5. You shouldn't feel pressured into thinking that just because you aren't in love after 3 weeks, then it wont last, or shouldn't exist! Just because all your friends say they're in love after 3 weeks (they really aren't), it doesn't mean you should feel that way, because it's impossible.
6. In the end however, if you don't really like him, you should let it go, and save a friendship. But don't do it because you aren't 'in love'. If you go through your life like that, you'll end up going through hundreds of guys before 20.
'In love' or 'Love', it's not going to kick in after 3 weeks! Either keep at it, or let it go. Follow what you feel.
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