I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Ok well i just got my timetable for high shcool and I got gym in the 2nd semester!
I know, you'd prob be thinking why it matters so much but it's just that I really suck at gym and in semester 2 they do track and field and stuff while in sem 1 its really easy like biking and jogging.
My parents are realyl intensed on my grades and I can't really pass gym because it's using your body.
Im not fat, i'm skinney and I try really hard but I suck at whatever i try and just always get a low mark.
Someone help me please? (link)
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This will work as it did for me. As long as your claims are verifiable and you know you always will fail in gym because of physical reasons and can prove it's traumatic you can get out of gym for medical reasons related to pyschological impact.
You would need to see your family doctor and tell him/her what is going on and ask for a referal to a pyschiatrist (the note you need carries more impact this way).
This doctor will talk to you about the negative impact the classes have on you mentally as well as physically and can give you a letter exempting you from gym provided you get a gym, self-defense, exercise for yourself he and the school approve of outside their walls and monitor closely so you earn your gym credit that way and meet the rules.
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14/f.
my face hasn't been that red really during the summer, but now that school has started im always soo red like mainly my cheeks, chin, in between my eyebrows and my head. its not red because im nervous or anything, its like the lighting in the school, or the fact that i get up early and am so tired or something im not sure. i put on more and more makeup to cover it but it doesnt do anyhthing, and then just ends up making my skin really dry and powdery, or liquidy looking. please dont tell me to just not wear cover up, i really have to! haha. but if anyone has any ideas how to make my face not so red please let me know! makeup, stuff at the store, i dont even know but just whatever! thanks a bunch! (link)
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You should see your doctor. You might have a skin condition that is called Rosacea which among other things makes the sufferer's face, cheeks, forehead etc. look very red. It is treatable. For more info check this link out and see your doctor about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosacea
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wow, my mom walked in on my masturbating
with a sonic care toothbrush
i didnt know what to do
i am flipping the fuck out
what the fuck
omg
someone say something
idk
i need help
im such a fucking idiot
what the fuck was i doing
omgg
how more akward is that
i dont want a talk
noo
im only 15
im a girl
has this happened to anyone else
what if she tells my dad
or my grandma
omg
wow
life sucks (link)
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Trust me, she is more embarassed about this than you are and won't want to talk about it. Also, parents know and expect their kids are engaging in this activity by this age.
It's pretty much universal for both males and females. toddlers do it, teens, adults, even seniors. it's normal behavior. what you need to do is be more discreet and get a lock on your door or use the bathroom in the future.
She won't have any desire to tell your grandma nor our father. She might not ever bring it up. If she did all she would tell you is that it' s normal and next time she'll knock first.
This has happened to a ton of people so you're in good company and you're not the only 15-year-old female its happened to either. unless you bring the subject up I doubt she will.
If she did all she woud do is tell you it's normal. She was 15 once and no doubt knows what it was like to be your age and may have even experimented the same way you have. Everything should be fine.
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Heres the deal, I'm 18 and I've never been on a date or kissed a boy. (I know, wow, Never?!?! At 18?!?!) I'm going to be going on my first date soon. I feel so awkward about the fact that I've never dated before, especially since he has. I just want to know, you know, since I'm not in middle school it's not like some hanging out with a friend type of thing. But I've never been able to do that part to get used to dating. And I'm not going to be like, talking about some big forever relationship either. What do we talk about? Should I be like, hanging out, having fun, talking about nothing important. Or like asking him questions about himself or something. Or if I just try to go with whatever come will it be awkward at some point? Just give me some general first date tips I guess so I do feel so nervous about going into it, please. (link)
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Believe it or not you aren't the only person 18-years-old or above that hasn't dated. Furthermore, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people choose not to date until their 20s or because their culture/parents wouldn't allow it.
What you need to do is treat this guy like anyone else and just talk with him about his interests, sports, movies, school etc. etc. Don't volunteer information about yourself unless asked a direct question.
It's exactly like talking with a friend or hanging out except you might get a kiss out of the deal. just relax, go with the flow and you will be fine. if you weren't nervous than there would be something wrong with you ;)
It shouldn't be awkward as long as you treat him like any other friend and relax. He won't laugh at you nor make things difficult or awkward. You will do just fine.
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so theres this boy and weve hung out like 4 times but we talk on the phone everynight...hes getting mad that we dont hang out alot and thats because he lives 45 minutes away. he said that if we dont hang out soon then its going to be over blah blah blah so we planned to go to the beach sunday and he got really happy and now my parents arent letting me go =[[[[ what do i tell him? because i know hes going to get mad at me so i dont know how to tell him. please help!! (link)
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Tell him that you have no control over not being old enough to drive or own a car. Also point out you have no control at all over the distance between your homes.
Tell him if he wants to hang out more to tell his parents he wants to be driven to your house or have them offer to pick you up when your parents cannot drive you there. I would point out that neither your parents nor his are obligated to do so.
Tell him that they were unable to drive you to the beach and ask if his parents want to pick you up? If he cannot understand that it isn't your fault than I would end things. He's not being mature about any of this.
Then again, this behavior usually has a lot to do with him liking you more than a friend. Tell him where things stand on the friendship/relationship spectrum and the issue about distance and no ride.
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i would prefer a guys opinion on this, but a girls opinion would work too.
my sister stephanie has been going out with this kid pat for a couple months. pat has a younger brother thats my age. we've been talking for about a month, but we still havent meet yet. we both like eachother, but pat doesnt want us to meet because he doesnt want us to go out.
would that(your brother going out with your girlfriends sister) bother you too? and if so, why? because i dont understand why pat doesnt want his brother and i to go out.
thanks (link)
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It's not that Pat hates you it's that if he ever ended it with your sister (or vice-versa) things could get messy with you dating his brother. It would bother most people in the same situation myself included if a sibling dated a girlfriend's sibling.
Luckily, I don't nor have I had that problem before. If you like Pat's brother there is nothing stopping you from meeting or dating him. Pat may object but he cannot stop his brother.
Next time you talk with his brother tell him it's stupid you haven't met yet and that you want to go out with him but are going to move on unless they stop wasting your time and preventing a meeting. Sometimes, you have to be assertive and foreceful to get what you want.
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Am 14/f.
I'm going to a new school...obviously with new people...and I am really nervous about it. I'm not exactly shy, but I'm not like other people...I have a weird sense of humor..and I'm just different( not in a negative way) so I was wondering how I can get to know people in my new school..without looking/sounding like an overjoyed cunt.
I'd appreciate any tips/advice :) (link)
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There will be a lot of new people starting high school this year. They much like yourself will be looking for friends too. Try to befriend people from that crowd as they need people to hang with and are actively looking. that's the first place I would start to make friends.
The second thing you should do is join clubs (especially student council) where you will be exposed to a broad range of people and cultures from which to draw friends.
If you meet people in your classes you want as friends it's perfectly fine to introduce yourself and ask if they would like to hang out some time.
One easier way might be to throw a party and invite the people you like to attend and start forming friendships from that. Once they see you're an interesting person who likes to have fun too they'll become your friends.
Always be polite and friendly towards everyone you meet and be prepared to take a backseat to them in group situations or in class for a while until people get to know you and accept you.
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ok. i love to sing and act. i'm really good at both. does anyone know anyway to go t a recording studio near lake charles, louisiana or a commercial audditon?
please help. this is my dream. i cant afford an agent or anything so i'm really stuck. (link)
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You do not need to have money to have an agent. Agents are not allowed to charge you anything unless it's a kids/teen agency and or background a.k.a extras agency. This is the same for singing as it is with acting.
An agent only makes 10% of what you get from a gig and nothing upfront or other than that. If they try to charge you BAIL same thing if they want you to buy photos, attend lessons with their people or put your photo on the Internet for work. That's all one major scam.
What you should do is get into community or youth theatre where you can gain stage experience and sing. The other thing you ought to do is get a backgrount talent a.k.a. extras agent to book you to do crowd scenes in movies filming in your area or the nearest large city to you.
This right now is the only agent you can get unless a kids/teen agency takes you on. A principal agent won't take you due to lack of expierience and the fact you are unknown.
The best way to break in to the agency and determine if you really want to be a part of it is to be an extra in film and TV. Do not hire any agent until you have consulted with ACTRA in Canada and SAG in the U.S. about their reputable list of agents.
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I've been going out with my girlfriend for 4 months and i'm wondering when i can finger her (link)
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You haven't been dating her all that long. You might want to take things slower so she's comfortable with the thought of this. She might not be open to the idea of fingering or you seeing her genitals just yet.
You need to talk to her about doing some "new" things as part of your routine and see what she says about fingering. You can't just jump in to it as she might not respond well. Ask her what she is ready for.
This is an activity where you need to communicate before, during and afterwards before doing it so both people feel secure about it.
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is it true that masturbation can cause baldness over time?? no opinions, only facts please. just need to know, thnx. (link)
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It cannot cause baldness, blindness or any other kind of affliction. That's fact and not opinion. The amount of hair you have on your head has zero to do with masturbation frequency or habit.
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i have heard of this thing where you put toothpaste on your face to help clear the bumps and stuff. does it really work and do you have to mix the toothpaste with anything. is there a certain kind of toothpaste i should use and how long should i leave it on my face. Can i leave it on while i sleep or is that too long? Is everynight too much?
Thanks i advance (link)
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You just might want to try it. White toothpaste can be used to stop the itching or burning of insect bites (mosquitoes mostly) and does work there. I haven't heard of anyone using it on their face to clear up acne or blemishes.
I doubt that would work but there's nothing wrong in experimenting. I can attest to it working well with insect bites. If you find it works with blemishes let us know.
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i went on ticketmaster.com on saturday and bought 3 tickets to a WNBA NY Liberty game on sunday. there was an $8.25 convenience charge. my friend said that meant they're charging an extra $8.25 becuase i bought the tickets the day before the game. but they have another game on friday, and i went on ticketmaster.com right now to buy more tickets but there's still an $8.25 convenience charge. what is that?! (link)
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It is an administrative fee that Ticketmaster charges regardless of which event you go to. Part of the fee goes to them for their Web site and printing of tickets. The other part goes to the venue to help maintain it.
ADDED INFO: A portion of the fee usually goes to the sanctioning body/promotor of the event as well. It's usually paid by the arena as per the rider.
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my family is currently living with my grandma. Not only does she treats us unfair, she also makes my mom pays 4 all the expenses in the house, plus the money for living in her house. So while we have to struggle to live our lives, she has extra money in her pocket and spends it elsewhere. Well, the problem is, im going 2 go 2 college soon, and i need to think bout the financial problem. i want to tell my mom to stop giving her the extra money and just pay for the current expenses only. That way, she will be able to help me somewhat in the future.
But we dont know how to confront my grandma about it. My mom doesn't want to upset her mother, either. (link)
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Your grandmother is allowing your mother, yourself and a few others to live in her home. It doesn't sound as though you are grateful for this. She has every right to charge rent to your mother and also for cable, ultilities and other expenses.
She cannot pay for this on her own. If you are living in her house and using her resources from cable, water, heat. washer/dryer, fridge and electricity she has every right to charge you for it so she can live comfortably and pay her own bills off.
Taking you guys in was a loving gesture that I'm sure burdens her financially. Thus far, from your question I cannot see where either you nor your mother have been treated badly. If it were any other person you would be paying much more in rent and other fees.
As far as college goes you will need to make contact with the school's financial aid department and tell them what your situation is and get a loan from them or a bank. In the meantime, you can help matters by getting a job where you work after school, weekends or nights. It doesn't pay much but it helps if you start saving.
Your mother nor yourself (judging from this question) really have no reason to confront your grandmother. Perhaps, if you talk to her nicely about college she'll have answers on how to support you through it or ideas.
Confront her about anything at all and you won't get anywhere. A confrontation only serves to get people angry at you. It would then give her reason to raise rents and or ask you to leave or not help with college or anything.
The woman owes none of you a darn thing really. Think of the hardship on her for taking you in. Neither side is truly content about any of this but you both seem to be seeing things from your side and not that of grandma's.
if something truly is wrong at home find someone to mediate between your mother and her that both trust and is inpartial and let the adults figure it out without all the anger. But, you really haven't shown me/us much of anything to suggest this woman has acted badly against you or your mom.
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So i have this friend at school and im really confused about her...because shes really sweet 1 on 1 but when your with a group of people especially boys she wont talk...so we started getting suspecious...plus, her sister is bi-sexual. And we have another friend who she always stares at in wrong places and talks about her 24.7!! (In ways that are kinda okward!) And one night at a sleepover we asked her why she didnt like boys and she just shrugged...and we asked her if she would ever consider going out with the other girl. And then she started getting really uncomphortable and okward. So how do me & my friends deal with this? -We want her to be able to talk to us about this kinda things...HELP!
--thnx..missymay123 (link)
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She may or may not be gay and or confused about her sexuality. If she knows you are supportive and good friends she may come to you later about the truth.
The other thing is perhaps she's just not interested in the boys at your school or concerned wit that right now. You crossed the line with your kind of questioning about what sex she would prefer to date.
That's personal and her business. Anyone be them gay or not would find those questions awkward, rude and inappropriate. It is up to her to say something or anything when she chooses to or not.
Until that time don't bring this issue up again and go about your lives and business as usual. If she wants your support or to tell you something about her sexual preferences she'll do it on her own or not at all.
Her sister may be bisexual but that means absolutely nothing about her own sexual prefrences which really are not yours or your friends to worry about. In fact, judging frm what happened at the sleepover she may never talk to you guys about her sexual identity period. And that's out of fear. Wait and see what occurs and treat her like anyone else.
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Do guys prefer girls to shave when fingering her? (link)
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We get a lot of questions that ask the same question you did on Advicenators. The answer is that it all depends on who your partner is and his preference on hair. Each guy is different when it comes to this issue.
On the flipside, it's your vulva and you are in control so it should be up to you ultimately to shave or not shave. Pubic hair is natural and meant to be in your pubic region.
Guys should be mature enough to know that that pubic hair is normal and is not gross or remotely disgusting. As long as you trim it and take care of yourself hygene wise it's fine. Any guy who cannot see that both shaved and unshaven pubic areas are normal doesn't belong with you or down there.
It shouldn't matter. As far as shaving goes it does make it easier for some guys who have never been granted access to that area to know what they are doing.
Then again, you need to communicate with your partner during and before about this. Don't shave just for some guy. Do it only because its what you prefer and like for your own self. You're the one living with having shaved it and not him.
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14/f
I recently told my friend ( a guy, we will call him A ) that i had a crush on his best friend. ( we will call him F ) so A says to me that he will talk to F about me and see if F likes me too. A couple of days later, he tells me that F knows that I like him. Then a few more days later, and A tells me that F said he likes me but doesn't want a girlfriend right now during summer.
well, my question is- does this seem like he actually likes me? or is just being poliete and trying to say no he doesn't like me? i know it seems really silly, and obvious, but i just want to make sure thats the truth. (link)
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Never use another person to do your dirty work to find out if someone likes you. Why? It always backfires. They either never ask, give you bad information or worse the guy brushes you off completely because you didn't approach him on your own.
A lot of guys will think you are insincere and cannot be bothered to tell them how you feel. The guy will want to hear it from you and not his best-friend. He wants to see if you can communicate and relate to him to see if you have chemistry.
What you need to do is approach your crush and ask him what he feels and admit it was a mistake based on being too nervous to have his friend ask. If you want him and you want to know how he feels about you approach him yourself. That's how you get the truth here.
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I desperately want to be my real self but don't have the courage to: I care too much about how other people and society think of me, which makes me frequently succumb to peer pressure and try to be like everyone else. I HATE this cowardice of mine, but don't know how to change. How can I find the strength and courage to be what I truly am? (link)
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The only thing holding you back and parylsing you is FEAR and what if's versus what truly is. Your classmates have one concern only and its themselves and how they look and sound to everyone else.
They're probably hoping you don't pick up on certain things they do or don't more so than they care what you're doing. The thing is they put this out of mind and get on with things.
Who cares what these people who may not truly know you think? In less than 5 years you won't know half of them and will have excelled past most of them who are bothering you.
Put all of this out of your mind and just go with the flow and without a safety net every day. Your friends will like you no matter what and those who never knew you... it doesn't matter.
As far as peer pressure goes NOBODY makes anybody do what they don't want to. They influence the decision but don't make it for you. Granted they don't make it easy either. But, make a decision to go with peer pressure or not is always yours and cannot be blamed on them. You want to be accepted so you sometimes go along.
You are not a coward. You are however, very fearful. You need to figure out what has made you this way instead of someone who can function normally around other people. You could benefit from seeing a psychiatrist about this and try to break down the mental block that keeps you back and learn tips on how to gradually be yourself in all situations.
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16/f
I'v seen alot of these questions asked so sorry if I'm just reasking the same old question.
I'm going for my frist gyno appoinment next week. I have a few questions :
[1]. What should I expect ? Like will it hurt ? If it hurts will it only hurt for that day or will it hurt for a couple days ?
[2]. What kind of questions will she ask me ?
[3]. I'm only 16, will she tell my mom everything I tell her ?
[4]. Will I be tested for any STD's ?
[5]. Any other advice ?
I'm really nervous, every girl I'v talked to has told me different things to expect & they have all been scary. I don't want to be nervous I want to be relaxed so anything you could tell me would be apprecated. Thanks :) (link)
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This should ease your fears:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/pink/your_first_gynecologist_visit
It's an article that goes over EVERYTHING that will happen during the exam and answers best all the questions you have listed above and others you are likely to think of after having posted your question. It's a great article for teenagers about this subject.
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17/f
I was dating my boyfriend for about a year and half when he cheated on me. He didn't just kiss another girl or hang out with her but he had sex with her at a party after we had had a fight. He didn't even tell me and i had to find out from the girl herself. She didn't even know i was hius girlfriend and she asked me to give him his ring back.( the ring was a promise ring we gave to eachother awhile ago) up until this happened i thought i could spend the rest of my life with him. I haven't talked to him since but he is always with my brothers. I just don't know if he went so far that i should throw away everything we had. Where is the line of going to far to be forgiven? Do i just give up and say let's be friends? (link)
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He has definitely stepped way, way, way over the line here. He's probably cheated on you longer than you think. Likely, he has cheated like this on other girls before you and will after you. Get on with the rest of your life.
I cannot fathom why you would still want to be his friend. He's bad news and you cannot afford to have him around to inflict even more misery and pain. Tell your brother how you feel and what he did to you too. Maybe he will pick his friends more selectively and give this jerk a piece of his mind about you.
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My sister is a hypochondriac. She goes on the internet and then she suddenly has all these
disease symptoms. She is driving me insane with it!
She is a homemaker with nothing better to do I
guess. She doesn't bother her husband about it
so he doesn't see the problem.
I hate not answering her calls, but that is
what it is coming to. I have tried talking to
her about it and telling her to stay off those medical sites. It works for a couple of days and then she is right back at it again.
Has anyone out there dealt with this problem before? Please help!
(link)
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Next time you talk to her tell her the truth "The only disease you have right now is FEAR."
She probably is fearful of death, disease, dying etc. and that is what attracts her to the sites. It's unhealthy and will harm her mentally if it isn't now. She has so much fear and garbage she is taking in.
Point out that "medical sites are not official diagnoses nor are they meant to replace the opinion of a doctor." If she doesn't get that just tell her that the problem is alll in her head and that she should see a psychiatrist to deal with her irrational fears and thinking about disease.
Tell her if she doesn't stop talking about let alone visit the sites to you that you will be forced not to talk to her because you don't want her fear in your life. It's a psychiatric issue here with irrational thinking and fear.
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