I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I’m from Kazakhstan. Hello to all. I'll start with the fact that I'm too trusting and kind. and this is my problem. Many will say that this is such a good thing, but the main problem is that I can’t say “no” to anyone. If they say that they have a problem, I will immediately help them. if they say that they have not done their homework, then I will give them everything I did myself. but today was the last straw for me, my friend wrote off from me and told the teacher that he did it himself. help, how to learn to refuse people??? (link)
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It’s not about refusing people but more about refusing things that are wrong and or are using you. In your mind you know what isn’t right and have to trust your gut and say no. I think what is holding you back is that you are scared of losing friends and being ignored or alone. Trust me, the people who are real friends will always be there but the people taking advantage of you will move on and that’s a very good thing. Say yes only to that which you know is right and not unreasonable or a person using you to get ahead.
You also need to come clean regardless of any penalties about the fact people have been stealing your homework or demanding it and passing it off as something they completed and let them deal with it or you’ll wind up later on with them wondering who is copying off of whom and be stuck. In college it’s an automatic boot out the door. You have to put an end to this situation as it can affect academic standing.
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I work at a school as a reading resource teacher. We have had many new changes this year. With those new changes came a new teacher leader. Her and I started working at the school at the same time as classroom teachers and she moved into this new role this year. I have been a resource teacher for 2 yrs now and my role has also become part of our leadership team. The previous person who was in the teacher leader role was very off hands. This opened up more leadership roles for me slowly over time. Now that we have a new person in this role I feel that she is trying to take leadership opportunities that I have done in the past away. For example, all of our students receive a test 3x a year. I have ran these test, created the schoolwode calendar, and pretty much handled all of it for a year and half. Now, our new teacher leader is slowly trying to take it away. Technically, handling this test is in her job description but our previous teacher leader didn’t do that. I’m struggling with all of this bc I understand she is trying to do her roles but I have also worked very hard to have these systems in place and run smoothly. Her personality is one that if she is involved in something she like to take over the conversation, emailing to teachers, communicating to our principal, etc and it makes me feel like I don’t have a voice and that I need to compete just to be a part of it. We work closely together in our building and I feel like I am constantly trying to hold onto some of the things that I have worked hard on in the past. She says things like, “Oh, I’m going to take this off your hands.” I struggle with finding the words to stand up for myself. Part of the reason why is bc my role isn’t just reading with students but also leadership and that’s not typical in most schools. So I feel like maybe she thinks I’m overstepping bc I am doing leadership roles that aren’t typically done by a resource teacher but I have been in charge of these things for almost 2 yrs now. I am completely fine working together and sharing the load but she makes decisions without me and takes it upon herself to handing these things. We also just got a new principal 3 months into the school year and she is always running to her with our ideas without me. Any suggestions on how to handle her and/or this situation would be appreciated! (link)
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This person sounds like an incredibly insecure person who is doing this because they are unsure where they fit. It is your right to tell her the role you were hired for and what tasks are yours alone and what your role encompasses. If you feel she outright stole an idea or project you worked on and deserve credit for tell Human Resources. Odds are people are on to the kind of personality she has and what she’s doing. Be cordial with her but limit interaction and keep your head down with your work. Make the people who hired you aware of the situation and your ideas. Like the new principal this person may not be in your experience long term. Let the new principal know about your role, ideas that were passed off as hers and responsibilities that go with your role that she’s taken away from you and constantly says she’s taking projects off your hands for her to do alone. The principal should have an idea how to fix this situation and needs to be aware you are being bullied. That’s exactly what this amounts to.
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So basically I got dared to tell my best friends that I liked him more than friends. So I did it then he told me he liked me back. I didn’t know what to do so I said pranked then he got really mad. He blocked my friends and I from everything possibly. I’ve been trying to make accounts so I can talk to him and reach him but he keeps on shutting me down. I feel so bad and terrible you don’t understand. I’ve been upset since this happened. I miss my best friend. How do I get him back as a friend and make things okay? (link)
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You have to admit it’s a pretty shitty thing to have been put in his situation or to do to another person. The person who put you up to this needs to be taught how awful this was and learn a lesson. If it were me I would stick a card in his locker apologizing and ask him to hear you out about what happened, who inspired the prank and wanting to earn back trust. I would completely distance myself from the troublemakers and wait until he comes to you which once his anger simmers he will. Right now he feels kicked in the groin and ridiculed because his feelings were and deep down are very much fixated on loving you.
The most important thing of all is to stop period all fake accounts and avenues to reach him. It’s wrong and sends the wrong message that you may be out to hurt him by pretending to be someone else or if using real name to apologize for sake of apologizing. What you need to ask for in the card is a one on one discussion about what occurred and if you can move forward. Make it brutal that you have come to see how savage the prank was and that the instigator is no longer a part of your life.
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I am a 16-year-old girl! and at my age, I have a crush of course. So today he was in a really bad mood because he was tired and had Migraine which sucks!
So he came in and put his head down and groaned and I reassured him and touched his shoulder and he raised his face and smiled and said he was okay, but then explained his migraine and tiredness. This may sound weird but I was glad that I was able to touch his shoulder because I learned that makes your crush closer to you.
I noticed also I text him about every day, and I feel like a crazy woman or something. but I was wanted to talk to him and make sure he was okay since he was not really talking to me during school. (link)
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It would be in your best interest not to text everyday. Let him innitiate that and to send next texts. Asking him if he’s okay is fine. You want to get a sense if he has any interest in you by letting him approach you on his own. If you think you text him too much that’s your gut telling you not to for now. You don’t want him to be scared off.
Right now it is an incredibly one sided affair where you might be really let down and or not. I think giving him some space for a bit and seeing how he reacts to you is key. If someone really likes you they’ll go out of their way to try and include you or let you know they are there.
Wait a week or so and try inviting this guy to a movie, bowling or whatever group activity and see if he goes or declines as that will show if he’s in to you or not and not show your cards so to speak. Then you’ll have something to build upon. That’s after all what you truly want to figure out.
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Hi so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 years now and we have talked about having sex and we wanted to earlier but neither of us were really ready. Now I feel like we’re both ready but big delima is that neither of our parents are ready, we’re both Juniors in Highschool, and very much so mature but our parents Just aren’t ready. My parents are always around so we couldn’t do it at my house, and we could do it at his house but his mom checks in all the time so we could be in the middle of having sex and she comes in and that really kills the mood. We’re both very very very horny and everytime we kiss it’s like a sexual charge and i just don’t know what to do (link)
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I definitely agree with Adviceman that there are other ways to be healthy or explore sexuality that don’t need to be intercourse. That said, both sets of parents here aren’t dumb and may already suspect this is happening. A lot of parents while not in support of activity may be relieved in a sense that if it’s going on it’s under their roof and you are protecting yourselves. Perhaps getting on birth control that they know about is showing responsibility. Unless you have privacy of a locked door or assurance of not barging in than perhaps this is something to leave to future while still exploring sexuality without intercourse. Perhaps they can assure you of privacy in their homes iif knowing you are sexually active and being as cautious and safe as possible. I stress not to rush anything.
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I've been dealing with this for about one month now. I'm suffering from severe constipation. I'm only pooping on the weekends. But, when I go, it is several times a day and usually a very large amount and it is very painful. I've never had these issues before. I'm 28/f.
Recently, however, my home life has become much more stressful. I'm a teacher. The kids are misbehaving more than I have ever seen any other class misbehave in five years. I think that the issue is more emotional than actually physical. On the weekends, I suppose I have more of an opportunity to relax and the muscles are less tense.
I am feeling so stuffy and full and bloated. I'm even having pregnancy dreams bc I assume that subconsciously, I'm feeling pregnant. I am not eating well bc of how stuffy I feel. I've been losing weight in the upper body. Like, my collar bone is popping out and my ribs are becoming more and more detailed. But, then my stomach is just so bloated, that during the week, I'm wearing pants a size larger than what I normally wear.
This is very uncomfortable. I've tried benefiber. I try to eat high fiber foods. PLEASE HELP! I'm so uncomfortable. Any advice is appreciated, especially if you've ever had a similar experience.
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You need to book an appointment with your doctor to discuss this. You probably aren’t bloated but rather constipated as a result of diet or IBS. This is a common thing. What you should do is try Restorlax or what the pharmacy and doctors call Peg. You take the first adult dose. This will cause you to go nonstop until everything that is backed up comes out. Then every day without missing a dose stay on it and you’ll become regular but going off of it can land you back to constipation. The fact lots comes out goes to show just how far back your system is blocked. Dr. needs to figure out why this is happening but this is likely what you have to do to stay regular. You can always get a pregnancy test but even if you are it probably has zero to do with and ability to have bowel movements properly.
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When I finally get to the point that I feel like I am ready to socialize with people who may or may not be sober, I face this question, “Do I want to go to happy hour?” Anticipating the changes I will face after leaving recovery rehabs. (link)
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I agree that when you come fresh out of rehab the last place you want to be is in a bar for any reason whatsoever as it’s a huge risk and temptation. One drink can mess everything you worked your ass off for or suffered over to be clean. Stay out of those places for now but when further along in sobriety you can go but not partake in what they are doing or leave. You’re not at that point yet.
I know it seems like everyone drinks but it’s not true. I would join groups through AA for teens and 20-somethings for potential friends and support and look at groups on campus with young people against drunk driving, drugs etc or who don’t for religious or cultural reasons. Those people will understand where you are coming from.
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18/F/South africa
I started at a work 2 months ago. There are only 3 of us that work in the shop. It's me, a guy who's also 18 and then the manager and she's 27.
At first I hated the manager but through the past month I found out alot about her and that she was raped and I was able to relate to her alot. The one day at work I cried to her because I was going through personal problems. From around there I started looking up to her, sort of in a sisterly figure way.
Then the guy started working with us and she preferred him because his dad helped fix a door and lights and he's not as shy as I am so he talks more. This sucked because I wanted to be friends with her but it didn't happen and then he was working his way up to be her friend. Then today at work he told her that yesterday I told him that I look up to her and she looked at me and I got embarrassed and just looked down and tried laughing it off. I was anxious the whole day about it and when she came back to close the shop he told her about how anxious I was and she just shook her head.
I'm worried because I'm scared she thinks of me as childish because I look up to her. How do I fix this? Do I talk to her about it? Should I message her and explain myself and just say like I don't want her to see me as childish? (It's a really chilled workplace so we don't need to be professional) or what should I do? (link)
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I wouldn’t message her about this or at all. Doing so would create a bad impression and perhaps make her see you as insecure and or in need of somebody else’s approval. In general you need to keep personal problems to self and not bring up with management unless they pertain with how you perform your job. You can be friends or friendly without them knowing much about you. It’s only 2 months in and discovering who you can trust and what you can say without possibility of it being shared or used against you professionally hasn’t been figured out.
I’m most concerned about the guy who divulged your conversation and what you said though positive about her. I wouldn’t tell him anything further as he seems like a blabbermouth who talks behind other people’s back perhaps to advance his own interests.
Odds are this person was taken aback to here what you thought of her and that’s all there is to this but there is reason to be cautious about what you say at work. They’re employers first and friends second.
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I am female, of 29 years. I think I am suffering from bipolar, but I am afraid to show a doctor, as I don't want to take medicines, rather counselling as I have seen people having adverse side effects of taking drugs for mental illness. I don't think at I am too much in an advanced stage, but I have frequent mood swings. Sometimes I feel on top of the world, full of positivity, plunging down to deep depression when I just lie down isolated hoping for the phase to go away and crying hoping to tear my heart out or just lie down, not sleeping or eating. Few of my friends suggested a psychiatrist, however, I am afraid of medicines. Has anybody improved in bipolar without medicines? Any experience? (link)
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Only a psychiatrist can diagnose a mental health disorder such as bipolar disorder. You need a combination of medication to stabilize you and keep you well in addition to psychiatrist being counselor and advocate. I have yet to encounter anyone who stayed out of hospital for long who didn’t take medication and see a psychiatrist.
I know you are scared of medication but really what happens is they put you on lithium for the illness, a mood stabilizer and an anti-psychotic. What they will do every day even or week is keep adjusting it and giving you blood tests each time until it’s dialed in and you feel well again. It takes time but once you reach that point you’ll have a better than normal existence.
The thing is to write in a journal all your fears and how medication makes you feel and discuss with doctors so they can get your levels to the point where no or little side-effect and you back to normal. You owe it to yourself to get checked out and determine what’s happening.
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Hi, i’m honestly stressed during these days because i’m an honor grade 11 student and my family’s struggling both financially and in terms of health. I would like to ask if what I should do because a girl, who is my classmate, likes me and is public about it and no one has any idea that I’m gay. I do not plan to out myself any time soon because it is much comfortable for me to keep my sexuality as a private topic. I’m also an introvert, have anxiety and depression, and my family somehow despises homosexuality. I’m used to being alone or keeping things within myself because of my family’s hatred towards homosexuality and with my father’s early passing but lately, I’m worried about hurting my classmate’s feelings and at the same time, I do not want to be outed. I honestly need help and your advice could honesly be life-changing and will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and God bless. (link)
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How well do you know her? Can you depend on her to keep this to herself. Only a jerk would out someone. I think you should ask her to respect your wishes not to tell and let her know that you want her in your life but not as a partner because you identify as gay. Explain to her your family's stance and probability of adverse reaction. I think she will help you and would stop trying to date you.
The fact your family is ignorant and unaccepting of gay people in this day and age is outdated and says more about where they are at as people than you. Unfortunately the truth does have to come out eventually but in a manner you can control. If they truly love you they will learn to accept you no matter what.
Perhaps getting help with this from a teacher, trusted relative or someone they respect will allow you to come out in a comfortable setting. I'm sure if they really love you that they will accept you and learn to move past where they are now. It's never going to be easy to do but I think once you do you'll be able to live as your authentic self and feel free.
If you just want the girl to stop I would tell her I really value you and your friendship but I'm not ready to date right now or tell her that you want friendship but not a relationship. I think she will understand. However, I think the best approach is to tell her the truth and get her on your side as a friend and who knows potential advocate.
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I am 25 years old boy from India ..
I have itching problem around my balls and my under area .. I used rub and itch with my hands now the skin is rough and hard dry ..
Still I get itching there ..
I wash my under area daily ..
Pls suggested me a cream
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My concern is that you will make the area blood pressure raw scratching that you will have an even greater problem as it begins to hurt. Continuing to scratch is the worst thing you can do. A temporary way to ease itching and burning would be to apply baby powder to the area. Do that until you can see a doctor who can determine the type of genital infection and the treatment.
I know the last thing you want to do is show your penis and scrotum to a doctor but believe me they have seen millions of them in their career. They are the only people who can help you or prescribe anything. If need be visit a clinic or doctor you only plan to see to remedy this issue.
We are not doctors and therefore cannot recommend any type of cream or treatment to you in case we get it wrong or give incorrect info. For medical advice you need a real doctor.
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I suffer from severe depression, and cry every night for 1-3 hours. The only thing that calms me down is the guy that I like, and that I've liked since elementary school. He's always liked me back, but we were never together. I haven't seen him in two years, and I've only talked to him a couple times through shared friends because he doesn't have a phone and is not in my area. I listen to an old recording of him singing whenever I am sad, and it usually helps, but it's not always enough.
I'm dependent on him, I haven't seen him in three years, and I miss him. What do I do? (link)
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NO. That is 100 percent not true. Your happiness and well being is not dependent open specific person or persons. It is dependent on you getting proper treatment for your illness. Even if your depression is severe crying for 3 hours straight nightly isn't normal. Your psychiatrist needs to know this and you have to be honest and vocal about what's wrong. That is how you handle this. Your medication may be wrong for you or not at the right dosage to combat what is happening. You can be happy if you follow treatment and work with the doctor.
Yes, it's nice you have good memories of the person you mentioned and find a song he recorded comforting but him being in or out of your life has zero to do with depression and being well. In reality he may not recall you after 3 years, moved away and cannot be reached. I would let go of the crush and him because you may not reconnect.
I would call your doctor in the morning and get an appointment and go over your treatment for depression and what's been going on every night and that you are never comfortable or happy outside of holding on to something from the past.
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Wha does it mean when a boyfriend of months says, “you deserve better than me, as I’m terribly sad that I can’t correspond to you the way you want me to so and you’re a nice girl and deserve better than me.” We’re still together as we love each other but what’s he saying? Is that the way of him saying he wants out? Not sure. Thank you all. (link)
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He's insecure about who he is and that he isn't good enough a person for you to date. That's not good. The only thing you can try is to convince him that these things aren't so and that you chose him for a reason. Ask why he feels this way. Nobody can tell you if he's planning to bail. If he did the issue is with his lack of confidence in self than with anything you did or didn't do.
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Ok so, im in band at school and someone has taken my music, but i have to preform the song in front of a band director tomorrow, no one knows my music is gone and if i do not preform tomorrow my grades will be affected horribly... what do i do!?!?!? (link)
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Are you sure you searched everywhere for the music including binders and other places it may have fallen out between classes. Is there any possibility you mixed it up with other papers? If not than going to the bandleader and explaining the music isn't memorized and missing is your only option. I wouldn't accuse someone of taking it because that won't go over well. Instead mention that you think someone may have taken it not knowing it wasn't their own.
If you get your grade and you have been written up consult your parents who can approach the school about getting you a second chance or higher mark based solely on what you performed without who lost what being a factor. After all your ability to play a piece has zilch to do with misplacing something which I'm sure the teacher has. If they berate you ask them about the last time they forgot an important item. They won't have a leg to stand on to punish you.
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Hello, my boyfriend said you’re special. Asked him what’d he meant? He said you’re definitely special. I said oh ok I know, thank you. Any hidden meaning? (link)
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Nope. It means that you stand out from others to him. It means you have qualities uniquely yours that he admires. In other words he appreciates who you are as an individual. That's what we call a keeper.
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our 10 year old Puggle is sick, seems bloated, just not well. I have been for the past three days due to an infection been (per the vets recommendation) putting his antibiotic pill in small piece of bread with some chuncky peanutbutter on it two times per day. Being Sunday the closest vet is 30 min. away and $125.00 to just walk into the door. Is there anything we can do until he can be seen in the morning.
Please help...
Penny (link)
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Antibiotics on the whole may treat the issue prescribed for but can also make an animal sluggish as side effect. It has been 3 days. Usually antibiotics are given over a week to 10 days and have to run course and exit system. However, you should call the vet and relay this info to see what they think.
Even if it costs you a second opinion may help your pet if your regular vet hasn't helped. Take your dog to where they really know their stuff. An emergency pet hospital will have seasoned experts on staff and will be able to figure out what is up better than a regular vet.
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Hello, my name is Jess and i’m 21 years old. I’ve been talking to this guy who is 22 for 3 months now. We’ve been on a couple dates and have hungout like 6 times now. When we’re together it’s great, we laugh and I learn more about him each time we hangout. My issue is though is that I am insecure. And I really like him and want a relationship with him. I’m afraid though that i’m Wasting my time. I feel like he won’t want to be in a relationship with me because he’s someone who doesn’t really express his feelings towards me. He told me he liked me but that was it. I’m afraid to tell him that I really like him and that I want a relationship with him. And when he leaves after we hangout I miss him a lot. I just don’t wanna tell him that and scare him off. I know I might be overthinking everything but I can’t help it and I’ve been hurt in the past and don’t wanna waste my time. Any advice would be appreciated! (link)
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He probably fears rejection as much if not more than you. Guys do all the asking usually so understand if he is shy and not voicing feelings. He went out with you 6 times and hangs out with you now so obviously he has interest. If you aren't into someone you go out once not six times.
I think you just have to suck it up and talk to him about how you feel and if he wants to try and see if a relationship works or just be friends. There is nothing wrong with asking where you stand. It's normal and though a bit scary it's needed here. It is not the end of the world if he says no because there will be other guys. You have a ton to gain from this and nothing really to lose. Go for what you want.
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Long story short I've had to transfer colleges twice and every single time I've gotten somehow charged with multiple thousands worth of fees.
The first time when I transferred out of the first college (it was too expensive) they told me I had broken some kind of contract I don't recall ever signing about leaving their school before I got my degree there. They charged me 2200 and I paid it off to get my transcripts because no matter what I said they wouldn't budge on the amount.
Then the next school I transferred out of to go to a university. They told me I was all clear with them financially, gave me my transcripts and I happily started at a university the next semester. Then a few months later they send me an email telling me I owe them 2500 or it's going to collections. They told me the reason was because they couldn't find somebody to fill my housing (on campus) so that's what I was charged for. Again, no matter what I said they insisted this was in some kind of agreement I agreed to by going to their school.
So I decided to take a semester off college to pay that off. NOW my university says I owe them 1,300 for two courses I never unregistered from and that the last day to unregister was 3 days ago. Wow what a coincidence! Nobody ever even told me I was still registered for them. When I talked to the advisor there originally and told them I was taking a semester off they said I was all good to go and that I didn't have to do anything else. Now they're saying since it's past add/drop that I'm not getting my money back and that's what I owe them if I want to continue next semester.
I'm absolutely beyond furious. I feel like colleges are just businesses looking to screw their students over. I don't have $3500 to pay these colleges. I have no idea what to do beyond just quit and try to make a living working. It would take me years to save up that much money to pay them off.
I kind of just want to kill myself because at this rate I'm never going back to college and no job is going to want to pay me enough that i can survive off of. (link)
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Get a lawyer who is the only one who can tell them to F-off about contracts you never signed or were told about. It will end collections, threats and clear you financially if in fact you owe 0. Make sure your parents know this has happened because someone needs to retain a lawyer and pay fees. You cannot. Yes, there is legal aid but most of the lawyers are straight out of school and not experienced.
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I am in my 20's and I have a very hard time meeting guys. When I do meet guys I like I feel like they aren't interested and guys that I am not interested same thing- I'm not interested. It's a never ending cycle.
A while back I met this guy and we've talked on and off for years. I am not sure if he likes me. But he doesn't always initiate conversation or hold it. We reconnected in the last couple of years. He has asked me what my type was, teased and asked if I liked girls. Asked to hang out at night to cuddle but I told him I had to get to know him first. He then respected that and didn't push it anymore.
I want to know if he likes me. He has also said we've talked on and off for years, it's nice but it is also a tease and I felt like he was hinting on wanting to hang out. So he finally said welp, you should ask.
He also says he's shy when it comes to girls and in general. He also said if I invite you, it should mean something.
I'm just not sure if he likes me or not, is he giving me hints? Maybe I need to hang out with him to get a feel for him? We have casual conversations but yet sometimes he gets forward like that. And when he does that it makes me think he may like me.
Should I give up on this guy? (link)
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You would be crazy if you gave up on him. Trust me, he likes you a lot and wouldn't be asking to cuddle let alone talk to you consistently if not. Guys just don't put that effort in otherwise. I get it that you are both shy and fear rejection but you must make a move.
Tell him you need to get to know him one on one to see if you could end up dating or just be friends. Choose an activity you both like and invite him out and or go on a group date. You will be happy in the end for exploring this.
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I'm a 14 year old female. Sometimes randomly when I'm waking up or going to bed I'll start thinking depressing thoughts about my life and start sobbing. This happens often, and several times a day I'll start sobbing for no apparent reason or something small will trigger my tears. My mood goes from extremely happy and excited to extremely depressed very quickly throughout the day without any real triggers and it just makes me feel very empty inside.
I can't shake this feeling that nobody cares about me and that everybody hates me. I really wish I could tell somebody how I feel but the words just won't come out of my mouth. Often times I have trouble identifying the feelings with myself. I feel so far away and so distanced from all of my peers and my family. Even people I've known all my life and have always been there for me feel so far.
I don't know how to stop. Anybody know? (link)
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See your doctor about this and discuss depression and mood disorders. What you are describing are symptoms of it and random cycling. They can treat this. It is important your family knows and gets it handled because this can get worse. Medication and treatment over time can make you well.
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