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Crying nonstop and constant gloom
I'm a 14 year old female. Sometimes randomly when I'm waking up or going to bed I'll start thinking depressing thoughts about my life and start sobbing. This happens often, and several times a day I'll start sobbing for no apparent reason or something small will trigger my tears. My mood goes from extremely happy and excited to extremely depressed very quickly throughout the day without any real triggers and it just makes me feel very empty inside.
I can't shake this feeling that nobody cares about me and that everybody hates me. I really wish I could tell somebody how I feel but the words just won't come out of my mouth. Often times I have trouble identifying the feelings with myself. I feel so far away and so distanced from all of my peers and my family. Even people I've known all my life and have always been there for me feel so far.
I don't know how to stop. Anybody know?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
my advice for you is that you are going through a hard time and depression i have the same problem out of nowhere i cry for no reason , but my advice for you is that you can get help like going to a doctor to prescribe you medicine for the depression talk to a psychologist counselor tell your parents how you feel . they shouild understand what you are going through they can get you help
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See your doctor about this and discuss depression and mood disorders. What you are describing are symptoms of it and random cycling. They can treat this. It is important your family knows and gets it handled because this can get worse. Medication and treatment over time can make you well.
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Your first sentence is very telling ...
"Sometimes randomly when I'm waking up or going to bed I'll start thinking depressing thoughts about my life and start sobbing"
You used the word thinking followed by start sobbing. That is actually a very normal human function for our subconscious to allow certain emotions to surface when thoughts are focused on. Think of when you've watched TV, in one movie the lead actor is mean and you begin to feel irritation and the adrenaline pumps as if he did bad things against you, not an actress, and you are finally feeling angry. Or your thoughts are focused on sad things in a movie and your emotions will follow your thought life again and you might cry. Or the same with good thoughts, you will end up feeling good. It only becomes a problem when people get into bad habits where they have distorted thoughts or negative thinking and as one pyschologist I've read called it, 'stinking thinking'. Its possible you may have some kind of mental health issues because of this comment:
"My mood goes from extremely happy and excited to extremely depressed very quickly throughout the day" My sister was like that but has physical issues and no Dr. ever thought to look at her mental health as well. So she is recently on meds and feeling tons better. What she described is what you said in that sentence of highs to lows quickly and Her Dr. found her to be 'Bipolar'. Now that she's on meds, lots of issues are gone. Then thirdly, there is another thing that may be affecting you, something I and every teen I knew suffered from when I was your age and same thing my kids suffered from but I knew about it and could help them through it. What is it?
Every teen just wants to be liked/loved and accepted by family, friends, and other students. Even when there are no problems in a kids life, they can end up feeling like this. And teen girls especially will second guess everything and usually its always wrong. But the biggest normal issues with teens that needs to be worked through is lack of self confidence, maybe bad self image and I had none at your age. By time I graduated, I wanted something better in life and knew I needed help and got it. When I addressed the issues of negative thinking and breaking that bad habit, and work on gaining self confidence, I found those to be my only problems and there was no mental illness remaining.
So it is more likely its a combo of all those things.
Now here is something you won't hear from a Dr. unless they are aware of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapt) and use it to treat patients. This is a non medicinal method that is employed first to see if any mental health issues are caused by distorted negative thoughts or not. If a person goes straight onto medication, then there is no way to know if they could be helped without meds which many people find don't help because their thought life was not worked on and retrained.
You will most likely want to tell an adult you trust about how you are feeling. Don't label it depression, just describe it. Don't label it lack of self esteem or self confidence, let a Dr. determine that. But you will need to be seen by a Dr. Therefore, it's best to tell the parents as they are responsible for all your care until you turn 18 and are an adult. You might not be able to put it in vocal words but you did well writing about it here, so write the details to your parents, or better yet, show them your question on here and my answer.
I am a parent too. I was very involved with my teens and they shared whatever happened during the day, any teasing at school, a friend doing something not nice to them, etc. I was aware of mental health and acceptance issues for teens and yet my oldest daughter hid it well that she was depressed in HS. She told me years later after having her 1st child and getting post delivery depression on top of the regular one she had always lived with. SHe chose not to tell me when she was in school. And as her parent, that hurts. It hurts me because I know how much she suffered silently when she could have had help and she is the type of person who needs medicine for her condition. No parent likes to witness their child suffering or hurt so yes, I still feel regrets, knowing that there wasn't anything I could do to help. I'll bet your parents would rather know so they can get you help.
Yes, you can be helped. It may be CBT only, a combo of CBT and medicine or medicine only and that is for a Dr. to figure out. Just to give your parents hope that you indeed can be helped and lead a normal happy life, let them know to insist on getting a Dr. licensed to use CBT, any Dr. who isn't will only put you on medications, no questions asked and keep trying new medications if any prescribed don't work and give you too many bad side effects. There is a website of a Psychologist turned into teacher of other psychologists and author to train about the use of CBT. It is not new, (around at least 50 years that I know of but probably a decade longer) more effective for the majority of patients with depression or other mental health issues.
That Dr./author has a website called
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) It's too complicated to follow a book of his and try to diagnose oneself. I've read a couple and was cured of extreme social anxiety by the same things he mentioned for a person in his book that I did also as an 18 yr old, all on my own. Back then society and my parents just called it shyness and that wasn't considered something bad or something that could affect your life in a bad way but I knew it was and didn't want to go my adult life with it. It would be a handicap to me if I held on to it, doing nothing. I feel that if the parents need any convincing or hope, they'll find it in that website. Let me know how things go. Tell the parents or someone today and start getting the right help from a Dr. licensed in CBT, just in case.
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I'm not a doctor but I have suffered from clinical depression. what you write about yourself to me indicates you are suffering from some form of depression. The fact that you write about cycling is an indication of Manic Depression.
Depression of these types will not go away on there own and should not be ignored. If you can not verbally tell your parents then write them a note or write a trusted teacher or your school principal a note.
If you have a Police Resource Officer in your school you can write a not to him or her as well. Their purpose in the school is not just to keep order but to help those that need help.
You can also call 911 when felling depressed and ask for help. You do not need anyone's permission to call 911. It might be easier to tell someone over the phone you are feeling depressed. You were able to write to us about how you are felling just say to the call taker what you wrote to us.
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