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Feeling down about approaching my crush.


Question Posted Wednesday February 20 2019, 10:53 pm

I am a 16-year-old girl! and at my age, I have a crush of course. So today he was in a really bad mood because he was tired and had Migraine which sucks!

So he came in and put his head down and groaned and I reassured him and touched his shoulder and he raised his face and smiled and said he was okay, but then explained his migraine and tiredness. This may sound weird but I was glad that I was able to touch his shoulder because I learned that makes your crush closer to you.

I noticed also I text him about every day, and I feel like a crazy woman or something. but I was wanted to talk to him and make sure he was okay since he was not really talking to me during school.


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solidadvice4teens answered Tuesday February 26 2019, 6:11 pm:
It would be in your best interest not to text everyday. Let him innitiate that and to send next texts. Asking him if he’s okay is fine. You want to get a sense if he has any interest in you by letting him approach you on his own. If you think you text him too much that’s your gut telling you not to for now. You don’t want him to be scared off.

Right now it is an incredibly one sided affair where you might be really let down and or not. I think giving him some space for a bit and seeing how he reacts to you is key. If someone really likes you they’ll go out of their way to try and include you or let you know they are there.

Wait a week or so and try inviting this guy to a movie, bowling or whatever group activity and see if he goes or declines as that will show if he’s in to you or not and not show your cards so to speak. Then you’ll have something to build upon. That’s after all what you truly want to figure out.

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday February 22 2019, 7:18 pm:
A crush is a one way thing, you liking him but him not knowing you like him or whether he likes you back as just a friend or more than friends. Right now, what you did is the friendship part of a relationship. It lets a person know that you really care how they are doing. You are just learning about relationship, especially, interaction between the sexes. I am much older so I can tell you that the best dating relationship or being with a significant other works only if there are two things in the relationship. One is having a very solid friendship, not fake friends. This is often missing in relationships so if you are brave enough to practice this now, thats great. The only difference then in a couple relationship is adding in the romance and not having just the friendship love, but the romantic love. So, there is no need to tell him yet that you are interested more romantically. Work on the friendship part yet. It is okay to spend time hanging out together with the guy because that is part of a friendship. After you've been friends a while, if he is showing a friendship caring about you as well, then post this next thing on your phone or computer to save for this time. You can find out if he has developed romantic love for you as well. If he hasn't said so, this is what you say: "We are doing so well as friends, it makes me wonder how well we'd do as more than friends. What do you think?" Notice you only say you were wondering not saying you have a crush or have deeper feelings for him, stuff that scares away a friend if they don't feel the same about you. If by chance he asks why you are asking this. You simply put it back on him, gee, haven't you wondered the same thing. And if he says no which may be the case for lots of guys, you say, well, I just brought up my thoughts so give it a thought and tell me what you think. Don't blurt out that you have feelings or love him unless he says that he has feelings for you. The less brave guy will simply agree to try if he likes you because that is an easy way to slide into dating. But remember, work on being friends first and try phone calls sometime. Texting when he is busy away from school, means he will not be holding a full conversation with you and it could look like he is not interested because he is not holding the cell waiting for your next text. He answers and goes back to what he was doing. You can not measure if a guy is interested back if you are not holding conversations in person and on the phone. Please remember this. If you ever want other advice as you navigate friendship or more and learning to understand guys, then write to me and let me know. Good luck dear.

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