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about

While I am still young, I have had a great deal of life experience. It is from this that I give advice. I am open minded and try not to be judgemental. If I can help in any way, I will. Just ask. However, like everyone else in this world, I am not perfect. My advice may not always suit you, since my experiences are not the same as yours. If you want clarification on any answers I give, feel free to ask me. If you don't like what I said, or if I offended you, let me know. This is the best way for me to improve on my responses.

Thanks for looking at my page!

advice

The bar scene is beginning to make me sick.
I really wanted to try the whole "interweb dating" thing, so I did! I met someone from MySpace and he completely hated me. You might say "Oh Erica, you're clearly exaggerating."
No. If this guy had a machete, I wouldn't have a head.
I want to date. Any advice, oh hell, just any response whatsoever, would make me happy.

Most people find a boy/girl friend in school. Once out of school it gets harder. So, the answer is go back to school.
Take a class in something that interests you. Take a dance class, or an art class, or wine tasting, or whatever else interests you. Going to a class for something you enjoy will ensure that you meet people with whom you have something in common. That is a very good starting point. Seeing them regularly is a lot easier when you have a class with them. You don't have to set a date to see them and get to know them before actually dating. It is a safe, comfortable environment and can be a lot of fun. Many community colleges or community centers offer a variety of classes for very small fees. Certainly cheaper than going to a bar a couple times a week in hopes of meeting someone, and even if you don't meet someone, you will get something out of it other than a hangover.

Does anyone know of any good diet pills that I could try besides stackers??

Diet pills are generally designed to boost your energy and metabolism. Some also have appetite suppressants That is all well and good, but it only helps if you put that to use. That means use the energy to exercise and make sure you eat right. Most diet pills are not really good for you, though some are. I don't know exactly which ones. I had a doctor who gave me a prescription once for diet pills, but it was too expensive so I didn't get it.
That said, if you want the best pills for you, your best option is really to ask your doctor. Every person's body is different and needs different things. Your doctor can tell you what is most likely to work for you regarding pills, diet, and exercise.
Here is my story. Hopefully it will help: I had a significant problem with trying to lose weight until I asked my doctor. I was told just what kind of diet I needed based on my personal health issues (turns out I am insulin resistant and need to really watch my carbs, whereas others may need more carbs and fewer calories). I have since changed doctors (fun with insurance changes) and started having weight trouble again since I wasn't continuing well on my instructions. My new doctor gave me similar recommendations as well as approved of a certain exercise program I was interested in. This was a month ago and I am already in much better shape and losing weight. Because my success has relied on my doctors input, I always tell people that it is the best way to decide on a diet and exercise plan. They can keep you on track and make sure you are doing what is best for your health as well as appearance.

Good luck finding what is right for you!

ok this is kind of nasty i know, but i really need help. it burns when i urinate, and i went to the bathroom and it started bleeding and its not the time i usually have my period but i've only had it a few times so its kind of irregular. so i put a tampon in and this watery fluid with little whitish chunks or something came out and it was disgusting. i don't know what is wrong with me and i really dont want to talk to my mom or anyone about it. PLEASE HELP ME
f/14

This is one of those times you do need to talk to your mom. It does sound like an infection. Is the fluid vaginal or when you pee? It could be a bladder infection, kidney infection, or yeast infection. Or, it could be something else. Whatever it is, you should see a doctor. Tell your mom and she can take you to get checked out. It may be awkward. Talking to moms about anything personal is awkward. But this is for your health and she will understand. She has probably even been through it.

I need to print out a thematic map of Cambodia (like a climate map or vegetation map or a topographic map). I have tried google, ask jeeves, and some other things but I can't find one! Does anyone know a good way to find one? I typed in Cambodia thematic map, Cambodia climate map, etc. Please help me soon! Thank you!

These two sites might help. I used google.
http://www.embassyworld.com/maps/Maps_Of_Cambodia.html
http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/map_sites/country_sites.html#c

what do i do if my best friend is going out with my exboyfriend?

Well, that means you have the same taste in guys.
How long ago did you and your ex break up? Who initiated the break-up? Are you still interested in him? Does your friend know that? If so, then there could be a problem. If not, let it go. Especially if you broke up with him. There was a reason you let him go. Perhaps she will be a better match for him and you will find the right guy later on.

I say all this from experience. No fewer than three of my closest friends dated one particular ex of mine. One even ended up engaged to him, though that didn't last. I am now married to the guy who was his best friend at the time I was dating him. It really isn't a big deal unless you make it one.

I have been married 9 years. In the beginning my wife and I got along great and I would say I considered her my best friend. Over the years though she has become difficult to live with. We do have two kids (girl age 7, and a boy, almost 2). She is currently a stay at home mom. She has really changed, as have I, but with her, she is always yelling and belittling, particularly to my daughter and to me as well. We don't fight every day, but several times a week is probably the norm. The other day as my daughter was getting ready for school, she was yelling at her to get ready (I was taking her to school), As she was leaving for school my wife yells out the door to my daughter, I was hoping to be in a good mood today, its your fault that I'm not and then she slammed the door. It has gotten to the point of being unbearable. We are in counseling together and I am trying to be more patient with her, but its not easy - she is not very receptive to it and claims she has a right to yell, etc, and blames everyone around her for her state. She doesnt work, so I am the only one working and paying the bills. I am also the one doing the majority of the housework when I get home. She claims she "Can't" do housework because she's "watching the kids" but I know from my daughter, neighbors, and from my own observations that she keeps my son (almost two) in either the playpen or stapped into the high chair most of the day while she watches TV or spends time on the computer IMing her chat group buddies. Just yesterday we had an argument which got pretty loud (I never raise my voice, its always her thats quick to yell and slam doors). The neighbor came downstairs to say he was tired of the noise and that "next time he was calling the cops" - my wife then started yelling at him, which prompted him to call the cops. The cops came and they asked ME to step outside and stood me in stance to pad me down and asked if I had weapons on me or in the house. I was afraid they were going to cuff me! They just asked what was going on and after talking to us, they left. I had never been put in that position before (cop taking me out) and it was very humiliating and caused by nothing that I did. I am now at my wits end and sorely in need of advice. Am not really considering divorce but starting to think it might be best for the kids. My parents currently retired and are moving out of state so I am afraid of being left with no support system here (I have no other family here while my wifes family is.) They want me to move my family where their going, and thats also a possibility and my wife is open to it as we are in need on a larger house but cant afford it in california. advice please on how to deal with everything.

My answer is long, but I think it will help.
I have been married 7 1/2 years. For a very long time, I was the abusive wife. I suffer from depression. After an attempted suicide, I was put on medications. I pretty much stopped the yelling and throwing things, but I was apathetic and didn't really do anything around the house. During the time when my depression was really bad, my husband had given up on me and stopped trying to help. This fueled my apathy once I was on medication. I was sane enough to do things, but I didn't care because he didn't care.
In June of this year we started therapy. We both wanted to make things work and our therapist suits us well. We are doing great now, though still have a long way to go to fix the years of damage.
Has your wife been diagnosed as being depressed? Is she being treated for it? If not, perhaps she should. If you are really wanting to keep things together, you do need to be patient. But you also need to get her help. If she is anything like I was, she won't be able to do it herself. A self-defeating attitude that comes with depression prevents that. What you can do for her is first learn about depression. Find books at the library. I found books and read like crazy (ok, bad choice of words, but that is a good description). I asked my husband to read them too. I felt that if he did, it would show he actually cared. He didn't read anything, he refused to see depression as an illness. That was a very bad thing for me. So, show your wife you are concerned for her and get her to a doctor. Help her to keep up with her treatment. Help her with the housework. Now, I said HELP HER, not DO IT FOR HER. Work together on it. She will see you understand what goes into it, and she will not feel lonely doing it. Doing housework all alone is a very difficult thing for someone who is depressed. Next, find a new therapist. The one you have now isn't working for you. And find a therapist for just you. This will give you someone to talk to and get you through this. I know it is hard to be with a depressed person. Having professional help can make a world of difference.
Oh, another thing that made it very difficult for me was that we lived near my family and they tried to be helpful. Then we moved to be near his family. I knew hardly anyone other than my in-laws. I was in an unfamiliar place. I was miserable. Actually, we still live here and I still hate it here. While our marriage is getting better, I still resent that we moved here. So, make sure your wife isn't just agreeing with you to get you to shut up (we depressed people see almost everything as an attack and will often agree to stop the attacks) before you decide to move away from her family to be with yours.
Now, your other option is most certainly divorce. I have a dear friend with experience in your position. His wife was terribly abusive. Makes me look sane. It eventually got to a point where she was verbally abusive to her kids as well. Cops were called when they would fight and he would be blamed . . . at least until he became a cop and was known to not be even near likely to be the cause. No, I'm not saying you should be a cop (unless you want to). But if it is getting to where the kids are being abused, even if only verbally, it is quite possibly time to get out. My friend did and was much happier for it. However, just as the men are assumed to be the abusers, the women are more likely to get custody of the kids. My friend's kids are with their mother most of the time and that is very bad for them. He can't prove that right now though and take custody away. Verbal abuse is just too hard to prove. Sure they can ask the kids, but at 7 years old the testimony doesn't mean a whole lot.
So, those are things to consider. I hope whatever you decide works out for the best for you and your kids.

well see my issue is that i lost my virginity in the WORST way possible, and now that ive had sex i dont want to stop.. all i think about is sex and everything that comes out of my mouth is sex, and i know this sounds horrible but its not as bad as it seems but i have had sex with about 4 people and i have not gone out with either of them..even the person i lost my virginity to.. is that bad?? sometimes i feel like a whore and some girls call me a slut what should i do?

I went through a promiscuous period in my life. I won't post the number of guys here, but it is pretty high for a period of about 2 1/2 years. It was mainly a self image problem. It also was a reaction to a mood disorder. Sex felt good when nothing else seemed to.
It sounds like you may be in a similar situation. You are not happy with your sexual habits, but can't seem to stop them. I don't know how you lost your virginity, but have the same guess as others who have answered you. That would certainly be a cause for your behavior.
What I recommend is a counselor or therapist to help you work through the issues causing your desire for sex and your unhappiness with that desire.
If, however, you are not as unhappy with it as you seem (you are enjoying yourself), and you are aware of the possible consequences (pregnancy and stds) and taking measures to prevent them (birth control and condoms), then ignore everyone else.

14/f
i've gotten a lot of adive to "go ahead and ask him out" ok, so i was thinking of doing that.

just what are some ways that aren't awkward to ask a guy out if he's not makin the first move and im almost positive he likes me?

thanks soo much.

Well, the other answer posted here suggests talking over the computer. I guess that would be a way to do it.
When I was your age (I'm twice that now), computers weren't really around much. We had them in school, but that was about it. No internet. If I was interested in a guy, we had to talk in person or on the phone. Chances of having the phone number were slim, which left in person. I learned that there is really no way that doesn't feel awkward. Doesn't matter if you are male or female. It is just hard to ask someone out. Perhaps it is fear of getting rejected or something. Anyway, the best thing I found is to just get it over with. Whether you are face to face, on the phone, or online, just ask him. Just blurt out "will you go out with me sometime?" This leaves the details open, so you aren't taking control (which can scare guys). Instead, you are letting him know your interest. Most guys will say yes. Then you can work out the details.

Hey guys.

First i'm going to start this, i am 15/f.
My boyfriend is 17.

Well, we started going out a month ago. Everything was really good, we had our ups and downs, but i really care about him.

Lately he has been really busy, and kind of pushing me to the side. It seems like he doesn't care about me anymore. He barely talks to me at all. One time i asked him to do something, but he went out with his friends instead. I would be mad about that if his friends weren't my best friends.

But yeah, everyone says to talk to him about it but i can't even do that! He will get mad at me, and i know he will; it has happened before.

Anyone know what i should do? i'm woried i will loose him and i really don't want to.

As I started reading your question, my first thought was this: Let him be distant for a while. This is how guys tend to cope with stress.
However, you then went on to say that he has gotten mad at you for talking to him about things. It has been a month. If he is getting mad at you easily, this is a bad sign. It seems that he is a moody person with a temper. This is not a good person to be in a relationship with. You say you don't want to lose him, but remember that it has only been a month. You are young and you will be able to find a guy who will treat you well. All guys get moody sometimes, but getting mad enough to make you not want to talk to him, that is a different thing altogether.
That is my opinion based solely on what you said. Because you have mutual friends, perhaps you should ask them if this behavior is normal for him. If it is, leave him. If it isn't, give him some time and space and see what happens. If he hasn't stopped this in a week or two, talk to him. If he gets mad, leave him. You have too much of your life ahead of you. You don't need to put up with this.

I have ALOT of floppy disks that have important information on them but everytime i put them in, my computer asks if i want to format them. and if i click yes, it says that the disk cannont be formatted. My A Drive got screwed up a long time ago and my dad fixed it about a year ago. Does anyone know why it is doing this? I really need the information on those disks and i cant get to them! Help Please! Thanks!

First, try another computer. If the disks work in another computer, then you know your computer has a problem. It could be a drive error, or a communication problem. If it doesn't work and the other computer won't recognize what is on the disks, it is possible that they got screwed up when your drive was screwed up. That has happened to me before. I still don't know how to fix it. I have lost pics that way.
In the future, save to your hard drive as well as to disk or cd. If I have something really important, I put it in a few places, sometimes emailing it to myself as well as saving it. I know that doesn't help much now, but it will keep this from being a problem again in the future.

lol!I messed up on the title!
Well listen.I REALLY need to have a nice name for my business.I want a REALLY catchy name!More than one choice if you can!

Well, I am usually pretty good at this. But first, I need to know what kind of business it is. A catchy name means very little if it doesn't give any idea of what the business does. I'll be glad to help if you can give me that little bit of information.

i've had the same group of best friends for five years & i've recently lost them all because i tried to do the right thing. anyway, i decided that i don't need negative people in my life. sooo...i'm going to try & make new friends & i was wondering: what are some good conversation starters? [:

I really like Xineph's answer. You can't get more options than that, and the ones that seem strangest are the most likely to tell you about the people you are talking to. There is a question that should be there that unfortunately isn't: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison.
I knew a guy who would ask this to catch people off guard as a sales technique. One time he asked a guy this and the answer was "Well, funny you should ask . . . " Turns out the guy had been a POW or something in a Turkish prison.
So, some of the odder questions can give some very interesting answers.
I also agree with the person who said to start out with the basics, like where you are from and what you enjoy doing. Then listen for clues to what to talk about next. When you do this, it shows that you actually care what they are saying and will help them to be more friendly.
Most importantly, be yourself. If you want to make new friends you will be happy to have, they need to know who you really are and be happy with that. Also, whatever happened with your old friends, don't bring it up with the new ones, especially early on. You will come out sounding like the bad guy no matter what the situation was, simply because the new people don't know you yet. Once you become good friends, if you are both bitching about people in your lives, then it is ok to gripe about your old friends.

I'm only 12 years old but i really want sex, is that normal?I have really bad urgs is it possible for a girl to horny?How old should I be before I have sex, and what is mastervation I'ev herd it good for you and can help you when you feel like you want to have sex, is that true?

At your age this is actually very normal. Your hormones are changing and your body doesn't really know just what to do with them yet. Hormones are there to insure we have sex so that the species continues. That means that anyone with hormones gets horny.
As for when to have sex, that is really a personal choice. Some people wait until they are married, some people have sex younger than you are now. My opinion? You shouldn't have sex until you are aware of the possible consequences and fully able to deal with them. That means that you understand that you could get pregnant or get an std, and you have to be able to handle it. So does your partner. I was 16. My bf was 15 (five years later we got married :)). My mother was 13 when she had her first child. She did well, but lost a lot of her childhood and that was not good for her. So, I would say wait at least until around 15 or 16, if not longer. Make sure you are responsible. Always use condoms, and perhaps see about getting on the pill. Using both together is a much greater protection than just one or the other alone.
Masterbation is also a personal issue. Yes, it can certainly help with urges. Basically, it is stimulation of the genitals (rubbing private parts) for pleasure. I find it to be healthy for a few reasons:
1. you can't get pregnant or sick from your own hand or toys (if you use toys, make sure they are for your use only and that they are cleaned well)
2. if you are having sex, being aware of your body can help you to know if something is wrong. If you are masterbating and you feel something different from before, it may need checked out.
3. it helps you know what kinds of touch you like, which will make sex much more pleasurable later on.
Here are some sites that you may find helpful:
masterbation myths: http://tinyurl.com/y8o5nj
solo touch, a site about why masterbation is a good thing: http://www.solotouch.com/
an article about teen hormones: http://tinyurl.com/y5ytok

Hope that helps!

My grandmother died a little while ago (last Monday, actually) and I was very close to her. Although I seem to be handling well on the outside, I'm really torn up. I can't concentrate on anything and nothing seems worth it anymore. I am usually a very good student, I took last week off and now I'm back to school. The catch up work alone is overwhelming, I have assgnments piling on top of one another. Even if I could focus on my work, which I can't, I would still have a very difficult time catching up. With my lack of motivation as a result of my grandmother's death trying to finish all my assignments seems almost impossible. Is there anything I can do to try to get back on track? Thank you in advance.

Try talking to your teachers. Let them know that you are having a hard time focusing and catching up and see if there is anything they can do to help. Since you are typically a good student, they should understand and be willing to help you get back on track.
I also recommend grief counseling. A counselor can help you to deal with your feelings in a way that will allow you to focus when you need to and they can help with techniques for managing your life in this tough time. More importantly, you will have someone to talk to in person who understands what you are going through without being directly involved (a family member could understand, but it would be as much about them as about you which wouldn't help a whole lot).

ok so i have a sweating problem under my arms.

like REALLY badddd really really really really really really badddd. like ew i can't wear like anything besides black or really baggy T-shirts.
because im really self consious about it.

i've heard a lot about certain-dri the antipersperant stuff and i really wanna get it, im just embarassed to ask my mom cause she doesn't know about the problem (my mom isn't one of those psyco ladies or anything, she's like a normal all american stay at home mom) because once again im very embarassed and self concious about it.

so my questions are:

1)how should i ask my mom to get it without being embarassed?

2)If i get it, when should i put it on, i know at night but like afterrrr i shave or before? after shower? before? i need any advice you can give me

sorry this was soooooo long, but i really wanna know..

=] =] =] =] =] =] =]
thankss.

I don't know anything about Certain-Dri.
However, I am a mom, and I have one, so I know a bit about that (ok, my son is barely 7, but I have a teenage niece that I am there for). You will be embarassed about talking to your mom about anything personal, even if she is the most easy-going mother in the world (like mine. she would let me go to the beach instead of school, but I still felt wierd talking to her about personal stuff. still kinda do). The thing is to just do it and get it over with. She will be understanding and more than happy to help you out. And she will likely be relieved you aren't asking about sex and such.
Now, if you still have a problem and don't like the sweat going through your clothing, there is a clothing line that can help:
http://jeezwear.com/aboutus.html
My husband actually has a couple of the undershirts and they do work like they are supposed to.

I have alot of trouble remembering things that I will just read and its like if some one tells me some stuff I can easily forget. Is there a cure for this kind of thing. And its also hard for me to understand what some one is explaining sometimes.

It seems to me like ADD. Now, I am not one to quickly say that. I think that ADD is over-diagnosed. However, it is a problem to consider.
There are other possibilities though. If you are over-stressed, over-worked, or just not sleeping enough, you can have trouble paying attention and remembering things. Make sure to take time to relax and if it is something you need to remember, ask the person to repeat it and make a note of it.
Next time you see your doctor (if you don't go regularly, make an appointment), ask him/her about it. If it is ADD you can get treated for it. Whether it is or not, your doctor can give you more tips than any of us here can because it could be health related and your doctor can find out more specifically what is going on in your life to cause it.

I'm 16 years old and female. I had a boyfriend for over 2 years and we broke up at the beginning of the summer. I broke up with him, because I didn't really have feelings for him anymore, and he didn't treat me very well. Anyway, I've had a few boyfriends since him, and it was awful for him because he desperately wanted me back. Well now, I'm single, and he just told me that he has a new girlfriend. I'm extreemly jealous, and I can't think about anything else. Why are my feelings suddenly coming back, and why can't I get him off my mind?

These feelings are normal. You were very close to him. Even though you don't feel the same towards him anymore, some feelings linger. I am inclined to think they never go away completely.
For example, my ex and I broke up around 9 years ago. My high school sweetheart and I got back together. We went to my ex's wedding and even though I was very much in love with the person I was (and still am) with, I felt insanely jealous. They got divorced. I have been married 7 years now. My ex is engaged again and I still get a twinge of jealousy. I love my husband (the high school sweetheart) and wouldn't dream of being with my ex again (unless it is one of my bizarre dreams that make no sense . . . but that isn't important), but I still am friends with him and some of the love we had is still there.
The thing to remember is that you broke up for a reason. He is not the one for you. What you are feeling is from the past, not the present, and you need to just carry on with your life.
Making the feelings harder is the fact that you are now single. Some of what you feel is more likely jealousy that he has someone and you don't. But you are young and will have plenty of boyfriends. Enjoy your single time while you can.

Are there times in a relationship where a partner may have doubts? I mean I love my boyfriend very much. But I dunno today I just didn't feel good and I just thought he was soo annoying and too touchy and I didn't want to hug him. I'm fine now though and I very much want him to be at my house with me.. Is it just me?

Everyone has doubts in their relationships. Whether it is a relationship with a friend, a boy/girlfriend, or a spouse, it is natural to question it. It seems to me that the closer people get, the more they question their relationship. Sometimes it is from spending so much time together that people need time to themselves. Sometimes people get in moods where everything irritates them, especially those they see often.
Basically, it is not just you. In fact, he probably gets that way too. Don't be surprised if he has times when he is distant. And when he does, if you start to feel angry, just remember that it happens to you and to everyone else too. It is a normal part of relationships. How you both handle it is what is important. If you freak out and decide that it means you shouldn't be together, you could lose something good. If he questions your distance, just be honest and say that you are just feeling touchy and need some space for a short while, even just a couple hours. He should be understanding. If he isn't, well, then it would be time to question things.

i babysit but i hate kids. does anyone have suggestions so its better for me and them?

Well, first I have some questions you should consider:
1. What makes you hate kids?
2. Why did you decide to babysit if you feel so strongly against kids?
3. Is there something you enjoy doing that you could do instead of babysitting? (do you like to spend time at the mall? perhaps you could work there)
4. If babysitting is your only option, is there something you enjoy doing that you could adapt to include kids? (for instance, do you like to draw or paint? get the kids doing it too)

I am a teacher at heart, but I still get aggravated by kids a lot of the time. I find that giving them an outlet for their energy and creativity can keep them happily busy for a long time. One of my favorite things to do when I need my son and his friends out of my hair is to send them outside with paper, scissors (if they are old enough), pipe cleaners, crayons, and glue. They stay out for what seems like forever. To make clean up easy, get an old blanket or sheet and lay it out for them to play on. When they are done, take the sheet to the trash and shake out all the scraps. Fold it up for next time. Very easy and keeps the kids happy.

I am currently "going out" with a 6th grader and I am an 8th grader. I normally like taller guys, but hes shorter. and hes really sweet.cute. and i like him a lot. but im so self concious and i worry too much about what other people think
is it too weird?
please give me honest opinions.

It isn't that wierd at all.
However, you will be in high school soon, and at your age kids can get really mean, for lack of a better word. As long as you understand that it is just how kids are, it really isn't a problem.
In high school I dated a guy a year younger than I was and got grief over it. I didn't let that get to me. Now he is my husband. We have been married over 7 years.
So, If you like him and he is good to you, and he is at your maturity level, then it doesn't matter what other people think. After all, if they are that concerned over your relationship, they must not have very good ones themselves. If they did, they wouldn't have time or desire to criticize you. So, if they are mean, remember that they are probably not as happy as you are.
Another thing to think about is that you will be in high school before he is. That could be awkward for both of you and then it could put a bit of tension between you. In that case, I would suggest talking to him to see what he thinks.

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