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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Yesterday I've started noticing a mini red bump near my clitoris, and today I felt another to the right of my vagina.
I've only had one sexual partner, and the last time I had sex was 3 weeks ago. Is it possible that I have herpes?
Please help :(
Rachel/Female/16/Australia
The Answer
It's possible, if your partner had herpes, that you now have herpes. It's also possible that you have a different STI like HPV or another virus, or that you have ingrown hairs or pimples.
You'll need to see a doctor to know for certain what it is, and what to do about it.
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The Question
hey this might seem like a really stupid question but how exactly do u make out?
The Answer
You just keep on kissing.
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The Question
There was a period of time where I suffered from beginning stages of anorexia. Things weren't going good and often starved myself just so I could have something in control. Now, im starting to get better, I'm eating more often now. But the thing is, I'm constantly thinking and craving for food. I get more and more hungry, and I don't know how to deal with the hunger pains. Any help?
The Answer
If you are having hunger pains, actual pain due to hunger, then you aren't eating enough yet and you are still suffering from an eating disorder.
Hunger pains are natures way of saying "I'm going to hurt you if you don't feed me!"
Now, if you didn't actually mean physical pain, just that you are craving food, well, that is good! But my next advice is the same regardless:
You should probably see a doctor or even nurtionalist, to clarify what and how much you should be eating and to make sure there is no physical or medical cause for what you've experienced. (Like, low blood sugar, for instance which can cause both cravings and physical pain.) Having proffesional advice will also help to put you in control, and you can recongize what is actually natural and good, instead of the bat-shit crazy sort of things an eating disorder can lead you to believe. It's good to be aware of what is healthy and have a plan, it's bad to be at the mercy of your irrational beliefs or cravings.
Now is a good time to talk to a pro, you've already done the hardest bit of work by yourself. You just need someone you can rely on to keep you headed in the right direction.
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The Question
in few words, im absouluty in love with this girl. i know she loves me as well. but we split up about 3 months ago. she is now with this other guy. she said she love me and this guy is holding her back. i desprately want to be with her. and she is torn between us two. her current Bf stole her from me. he drew her in by his willingness to rush into a physical relationship. i was a bit hesitant because i wanted it to be specail when it actualy happend. so thats realy it. that wasnt nearly as short as i wanted it to be.
The Answer
People can't get stolen (unless, they are kiddnapped by force) people choose to leave. Your ex choose to leave you for another guy.
It's sad and dissapointing, but it's also normal - it happens.
If she says she loves you but is with someone else she is either very, very mean, or lying to you.
Given that, you are best to move on.
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The Question
Do you think jurors researching the various topics or questions individually via the internet in general, or with the several other potential sources such as Twitter, My Space, Facebook, etc does cause a problem or create an unfair advantage to either side in a criminal case before a trial court?
The Answer
Jurors are very clearly instructed not to do that. So, the opinion of the courts and law is that yes, that kind of research is not all right, no matter which way it bias a juror.
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The Question
today someone told me that theyre are going to college for $8.00. i find this to be outrageously wrong. i am going to pay about $12,000 for my college. she says she got a lot of scholarships and with the fafsa loans, she will only have to pay 8 bucks. do you think she was misled? or if this possible?
The Answer
It's possible, but you might want to remind her that LOANS are something you have to pay back eventually.
I think she's just a ninny who likes to brag. She might only owe $8 cash this semester, or next. But if she's thinking that is all her education is going to cost her, she's just telling tales.
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The Question
is this a tattoo or what?
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kys6bgXmp81qa2ndbo1_400.jpg
The Answer
There are a few possibilities:
One. Scarification. I don't think that's likely.
Scars can't really be made that neat and tiny.
Two. A white ink tatoo. These are uncommon, because they are expensive, difficult to manage for the artists, really high maintance and there is a pretty big risk they wont take well. This seems the most likely to me.
Three. It could be photoshopped. A decent fake, but a fake image none the less.
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The Question
15/f
I saw Remember Me with Robert Pattinson in it this weekend. Great movie/ Well I am in french class, and I know that there is a part where he is speaking a tiny bit of french by his sister caroline. well i know that he says Mon dieu! (which is my god), and "French toast" in a french accent but what is teh other thing that he is saying? i could never figure out what someone is saying when they say that phrase.
for those in french it kind of sounds like jacques les blues. but i know thats not what it is. thanks.;
The Answer
Sacrebleu.
Haven't seen the movie, but I imagine that is it.
Sacrebleu is a mild experession of shock, kind of like 'Holy cow!'. It doesn't really mean anything anymore, although there are a few theories about it coming from the phrase 'sacred blue' and being some sort of curse agianst the Virgin Mary, or the royal family... But it's not really used by the french anymore at all, just by english people pretending to be french.
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The Question
well, i want to get this dress for 8th grade dance:
http://www.carsons.com/product/juniors/juniors+dresses/party/trixxi+juniors%27+stretch+satin-taffeta+dress+w-pickup+skirt+-+black-charcoal.do
and all they have left is a size five. so i was wondering if i could get the dress altered to fit me which is about a 1 or 3. where could i do that and how much?
The Answer
I've done a bit of costume construction and tailoring in my life, and no. In all honesty, it's just not going to happen.
You aren't going to be able to bring in that dress two dress sizes nicely, and any seamstress you take it to when have to take the bodice apart entirely and rebuild it in order to make a size 5 into a 3. They will also likely have to redrap the skirt with the new waist measurement. That kind of alteration would probably be more expensive then this dress.
Honestly, if you really love this dress, it would probably be cheeper to hire someone to make it for you, then to order this and have it altered.
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The Question
i am insanely scared of the world ending. i am soo scared that 12/21/12 is true. is it true? if it's not true, what is proof that it's not true and what are some sources to lead to the idea that it's not true.
The Answer
It's simply not true. At all. Not a single story I've heard about the world ending in 2012 is even remotely close to the truth.
If the world ends in 2012, it will mean all these idiots made a lucky guess, not that they were right.
NASA made this great site, to debunk the moronic myths about 2012 that are related thier field of study: http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html
If there is a praticular myth you need explained, I'd be happy to answer another question about a specific topic. I have not yet come across a single 2012 perdiction that wasn't based on myth, misunderstanding, or just general stupidity.
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The Question
Hi, I'm a 29 year old woman.
I was on Loestrin 24 Fe birth control pills for close to 4 years now, and before that I tried the ortho tri-cyclen for almost two years. When I started missing my periods completely I decided to stop taking the birth control pill so that my cycles returned (I'm not sexually active right now). It's now been THREE (3) months of NO birth control pills and I've still not had a period.
I'm really worried that I've messed something up by taking the fake hormones for so many years. I don't know why I wouldn't have my period at all for three solid months after stopping the birth control. In total, I've have not had a period for six months now in a row!
Anyone else have this experience? How do I get my cycle back? Please help because I want a family some day!
The Answer
Talk to your doctor.
The idea that 'taking birthcontrol for years' is somehow bad for you, is pretty much just a myth from people and organzations who are anti-sex and anti-contraception. It's very, very rare for women to have a negative response to birth control after taking it without a problem for so long. However, if something about your body has changed, of course you should talk to a doctor.
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The Question
Quick question about the movie 'V for Vendetta'.
When the doctor lady describes what happened the day at the detention facility fire, she says the man from room 5 looked at her, but "not with eyes..there were no eyes", implying that V is blind.
But how is that possible? V is able to turn toward a sign and quickly cut a 'V' into it. When Evey questions him about his hands, he immediately turns his head toward them and looks at them, then grabs his gloves off the table. When he's walking around Evey in the BTN hallway, he looks down at her, and then right at the camera. Etc.
So what the hell? Is he blind or isn't he?
The Answer
Yeah. I never thought for a second that she was implying he blind. Soulless, empty, that the person who was there was gone... but not blind.
I think you took it too literally. It was meant symbolically.
That, and it’s a superhero movie!
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The Question
i have a really close group of friends. and usually i have a lot of fun with them, sometimes i can't stand them. but today was just terrible.
i had the most problems today with one of my better friends lexi. she was just being taking me to seriously and always contradicting herself by what she was telling me. but the thing that really upset me what in social studies. i have that class with lexi, my best friend, and another close friend.
well, sometimes i say stuff and i don't know why like it's weird but i can't control what i say sometimes.. well i started making fun of deaf people and stutters because i was watching a show last night about them. i know what i said was wrong and i wish i could take it back so don't judge me too harshly.
anyways then lexi said 'you know i'm going to laugh hysterically when you go to hell.' and it was just so mean the way she said it like i saw evil in her eyes. but that really bothered me. and it didn't help that my other friend joins in and says 'yeah, me too.' (and she doesn't believe in that stuff) THEN my best friend says stuff too. i can't really recall what she said but she was definately against me.
it didn't feel nice to be ganged up on so i just ignored them and didn't talk to them the rest of the day.
if it bothered me that much that they said that, like i almost started crying and i don't cry at all, does that make me such a bad person.
i just am really upset by that so if you have any advice on what to do please help.
also, i'm sorry this is so long but if you read it all thanks.
The Answer
Be a better person. Ask for your friends help in being better.
What you saw was your own venom and cruelty mirrored back at you. In this world, we get back what we send out. You sent out cruel jokes and judgement and you got it right back. It's not COMPLETELY your friends fault. You started a nasty conversation, they just took it a step further and turned it back on you.
Maybe, the best thing for you to do would be to talk to your best friends about your problem about saying carelessly cruel things, and ask for their help as you try to be better. Let them know what they said really hurt you and you felt ganged up on, but ALSO, admit that you know you sometimes take things way too far and say inappropriate and unkind things. Promise them to work on that in the future, and ask them to find nicer ways to tell you to stop bad jokes, so that they can help you be better, not just make you feel like shit.
Being the first person to start admiting they were wrong, and asking for help to be better, is really hard and scarry, but you might find once you start it, all your friends try to be better too.
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The Question
I feel a bit embarrassed because I am a good 21 years older than most of you, so I feel kinda stupid. I got married a long time ago when I was only 19 to a guy who was in the Marine Corps and he physically abused me for 2 1/2 years, so I am no stranger to being abused. I just want this guy to see how much I love him and that I would do anything for him. Hopefully he will realize it soon before things get way out of hand. My family and friends already know that he is abusive and I have to listen to their lectures about why I should get out and that they don't understand why I am in that relationship. It's seriously hard to explain, but he kinda reminds me of my dad the way he is always putting me down, calling me names, being so negative and condescending, how everything I do is wrong. He calls me a dumb B****, a stupid B****, and a worthless B****, and not to mention he calls me his whore. I tried to break it off a few weeks ago with him and he accused me of sleeping with someone else and wouldn't take "no it's over" as an answer. i just feel stuck right now. I shouldn't be complaining since I put myself where I am.
Thanks for your comment and advice, i appreciate that someone cares so much.
The Answer
Unfortunately, things aren't going to change unless you decide to change them.
Love is nice and good, but love isn’t going to change a damn thing. If your love could save him, it would have by now. He is not going to change. He is going to keep abusing you, blaming you and turning every situation around on you. He is going play you, and keep you. If accusing you keeps you on Monday, he’ll do that on Monday. If begging you keeps you on Tuesday, he’ll do that on Tuesday.
Sooner or later, you’re going to have to accept that you’ll NEVER be his super hero. He’s not gonna get saved. There is no ‘other, better man’ waiting under the surface for your pure love to reach him and fix him. We are what we do, and what he does is completely wrong. Change will happen when you end this relationship, and save yourself.
It’s good that you know you choose this. That is the first step towards choosing differently.
If your friends and family know what is going on, then, when you’ve finally made the choice to change your situation, reach out to them and ask them to help you make a plan to move and cut off all contact. If you know your judgement, your choices and your behaviour is impaired and in error, lean on someone else you trust to take better care of you. After you’ve left him, and you get your head on straight again, you’ll be in a better place to respect, love and trust yourself.
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The Question
I met this fantastic guy several months ago. He is so honest and up front about things and we've talked about long-term possibilities. I know he likes me, I like him too. I even told him that if by chance he popped the question, I would say "Yes!" in a heartbeat!! This did not freak him out; in fact, he was glad to hear it and has continued to try and call me whenever he had time or a chance to. He's in the process of taking over a family business right now. It is a priority to him, which has a lot involved and has to be focused on this--this is his bread & butter. It however, has left us with very limited to no time to spend together. Sporadically, he would call me to meet at the very moment he is available, and often times, the opportunities pass and I may not get to return the messages until at least a few hours after he calls. By that time, he's busy again. The last time he called, I was sick and couldn't get back to him until 2 days later. At that point, he sounded a little down and asked, "Can we just work on being friends for now?” I asked if he had a change of heart and he responded, Yeah, a little. It’s just that things are a mess and I want to have things 'clean'." I happily accepted the fact that he wants to be friends, I kind of understand what he is going through (business-wise) and I asked if he wanted me to refrain from calling him. He answered, "Just for a little while, if that's okay." I accepted and asked if he will call me. Without hesitation, he said that he will. He needs to get "things" cleaned up and a few things lined out. He didn't like the fact that he had to inform me in the manner he did, but I graciously thanked him for telling me, regardless. He had another call coming in at that time and quickly stated, "We'll talk again later Sweetie." We exchanged our good-byes and that was the last I heard from him. I will wait for him, but at this point, I am holding on faith. How long is "a little while"? Shouldn't we be talking semi-regularly as "friends"? I don't mind giving it as much time needed, but it will almost be 1 month after we've last spoken. Would it be okay to contact him later down the road even after I asked for him to call me? How should I approach this? If I do call, how much time should I wait until I attempt to?
The Answer
He's just not that into you.
Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. You want advice on how to keep him interested, but you can't really keep someone interested when they have gone AWOL on you. I’m sure he said very nice things and all the right things to avoid hurting your feelings (and avoid leading you on, at least, in his own mind), but you are past nice words now. It’s our actions that define us, and his actions define him as someone who isn’t all that interested in you romantically, or even as a friend.
A month is not 'slow down' and a month isn't friendship. A month is 'you are forgettable'. A month is 'I don’t' really care if you met someone else and I lose my shot with you'. A month is 'I'm not into you like that.' A month might even be ‘I hope this problem just goes away.’
Go ahead and call him if you feel you would like too, but don’t kid yourself: This is very, VERY unlikely to lead to anything. At worse, he doesn't like you the way you like him, and at best, he's a silly guy who is waiting for the 'perfect' moment, and will never get around to calling you.
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The Question
Hi There..
I'm just wondering, I know that if a girl hasn't had sex before she's married then she's able to wear a white dress and if she has had sex before marriage she is able to wear an off white dress..
Is it up to the individual girl as to whether she wears a white dress even if she has had sex before marriage? Or is it the 'rules' that she is to wear an off white dress if she's had sex before hand?
Thank you :D
The Answer
The white dress has been said by many to represent purity.
However, anyone who claims to be able to tell millions of brides what they can or cannot wear is a complete asshole. Brides may wear what they like. Anyone who comments is at best, sexist and rude, and at worse, a complete scum bag.
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The Question
My best friend of 5 years, "A" has been dating this guy "B" they have had a lot of problems and have been on and off for almost 2 years. they finally broke up for good a month ago.
I respect both of them so I asked "B" if I could later on in the future, date my best friend because Ive always liked her but never dated her or told her till 2 months ago.
"B" said he doesnt want to be with her right now but he doesnt want to lose her. What "A" and "B" decided to do is "take a break & become better friends" they arent together. they talk/text here and there. they hang out twice a week if that. they both have decided to not date anyone else on this break.
If "B" doesnt know if he wants to date "A" or if "A" is the best thing out there and "A" knows she wants to be with him, then why should "A" bother waiting. Shouldnt "B" just let her go and live her life with whatever other guy. He broke up with her by the way. What if during this break some other girl starts talking to "B." "B" doesnt date her, just talks to her as friends and slowly develops a crush for this new girl and then tells "A" she gets crushed again and is all alone.
I dont think any of this is fair to "A" am i wrong or right. what can i tell both of them? if he loves her and cant let her go then why doesnt he just date her?
The Answer
Stay out of it!
Remember, THEY decided, both of them together, to take this break and she has chosen, just as much as he has, to not quite be completely broken up yet.
You might be right that it's not 'fair', but A has agreed to it and it's between the two of them.
She knows you like her, and so does he. If she really wanted to be with you, she could make that happen. If he really wanted to step out of your way, he could make that happen too! They are choosing NOT to do those things.
Let them make their own agreements, and keep them or break them as they see fit. What you believe to be fair might be completely true, but it's also irrelevant. How they choose to run their relationship is up to them. They both know how you feel, and apparently, it doesn't change anything about what they want to do. Sometimes life just sucks like that.
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The Question
I am a redhead and grew up hating it because I was different than the rest of my family. I never felt like I fit in at all. I love it now, but back then, I wanted to dye it brown so that I would be like everyone else.
Well now I have an almost-3-year-old son who has sandy brown/blonde hair and a 5.5 month old son whose hair matches mine perfectly. I knew that someday people would start commenting, but I didnt realize it would be so soon. We went to the doctors office and she said to my 5 month old "look at that hair!" and then to my 3 year old "where's your red hair?" He didnt understand (he did say "I dont know") but I know that, one of these days, he's going to feel like people are saying that he doesnt belong with us and they are singling him out for being different.
I dont necessarily want to be rude back, but I do want for these people to know that they are being rude. I want something that will be appropriate for him to say in later years too.
The only thing I can come up with is something like "I shared" which doesnt nearly get the point across. I dont know what kind of response these idiots are looking for anyways. They just say things like this to make the person uncomfortable. They deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable/stupid in return.
The Answer
For your son's sake, respond with a positive celebration. Something up beat like "He's got hair just like Dad/grandpa/all his own." or "He sat so well for the barber and looks so handsome doesn't he?"
You are right that these people are being rude, but it's just that: rude. Not malicious or intentionally cruel, but carelessly rude. It's best not to let your anger colour your response to them, because very small children have this amazing ability to make everything 'their fault', and he’ll sense your anger and assume he’s the one who is wrong.
When he gets a even a little bit older, he’ll manage just fine on his own, with a roll of the eyes and with your support to identify this behaviour as rude, he’ll learn shrug it off and come up with comebacks of his own. However, three years is a bit young to understand that adults misbehave sometimes. For now, try not to pass on your own anger over hair colour and give him something to celebrate.
I came from a mixed family, where most of the kids weren’t related by blood, and man did I learn to deal with “Are you twins?” and “Why aren’t you a blonde?” and “You can’t be sisters! You look nothing alike!” but my mother was awesome about it. She always smiled and say “I assure you, they ARE sisters. I would know.” And “No, only Nanc is blonde, but doesn’t Cher have the loveliest hair cut? And look, she just got her ears pierced.” Doing this taught us to celebrate ourselves. Ignorant and rude questions where still ignorant and rude, but they never hurt us, because we were taught to always celebrate ourselves, and ignore silly rudeness from others.
These people might deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable, but I can’t imagine how you can do that and give your son the support he needs. Any venom you spit at them will catch him too, even in a small way. Put his needs first and don’t let this issue become his to bare. Give him things to celebrate about his physical appearance and teach him in age-appropriate ways to be polite to others, and to deal respectfully with rudeness.
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The Question
hey i was reading your answer to someone else's question and was wondering if you knew more about an allergy vs. an intolerance to something? aren't there degrees of severity when it comes to allergies or all allergies life-threatening (peanut allergy, for example) and intolerances irritating?
The Answer
When you are talking about the medical definition of allergy, an allergy is when your body has an immune response to something that is actually harmless. An allergy is something that your body reacts to by acting like it’s something really bad, like a virus or a poison, and kicks your immune system into high gear. Having your immune system responds that seriously and violently, it’s very dangerous.
An intolerance is everything else your body has trouble handing for whatever reason… some of those reasons can be treated or have to do with poor health or bad diet, others are just the way your body is. For instances, most people who are lactose intolerant lack the correct enzyme to break down the lactose in milk. Their body doesn’t treat milk like an enemy; it just can’t process it correctly.
Most people who say they have allergies, or ‘mild allergies’, actually have intolerances. Of course, you can have both. I have a citrus intolerance, so the smell of lemons really irritates me and makes me sneeze. I’m allergic to pork, so it could kill me.”
Almost always, allergies are much more server reactions then intolerances.
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The Question
if you best friend of 3 years made ur boyfriend breakup w/ you for her what would you do?
The Answer
No one makes anyone do anything. No one can steal a boyfriend or girlfriend. People don't get stolen (unless they get kiddnapped!), they choose to leave.
If your boyfriend broke up with you for your friend he is JUST as guilty as she is. He made the choice to leave you.
If you don't want to be their friends anymore, that's fine and that's your right! You shouldn't be friends with people who treat you disrespectfully or cruelly, but don't blame it all on her. She didn't make him leave. He did it himself and he is responsible for his choice. If your boyfriend leaves your for your bestfriends, they were both bad friends.
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