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I am being abused but...
I feel a bit embarrassed because I am a good 21 years older than most of you, so I feel kinda stupid. I got married a long time ago when I was only 19 to a guy who was in the Marine Corps and he physically abused me for 2 1/2 years, so I am no stranger to being abused. I just want this guy to see how much I love him and that I would do anything for him. Hopefully he will realize it soon before things get way out of hand. My family and friends already know that he is abusive and I have to listen to their lectures about why I should get out and that they don't understand why I am in that relationship. It's seriously hard to explain, but he kinda reminds me of my dad the way he is always putting me down, calling me names, being so negative and condescending, how everything I do is wrong. He calls me a dumb B****, a stupid B****, and a worthless B****, and not to mention he calls me his whore. I tried to break it off a few weeks ago with him and he accused me of sleeping with someone else and wouldn't take "no it's over" as an answer. i just feel stuck right now. I shouldn't be complaining since I put myself where I am.
Thanks for your comment and advice, i appreciate that someone cares so much.
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Oh goodness,
What you need is some Jesus. Try going to www.youversion.com and looking up verses about depression, emptiness, love, hurt and pain.
God will speak to you. You body is HIS temple. Why should you let someone hurt gods temple?
You don't deserve any of the things this guy has done to you, and it seems to break everyone's heart around you when they see you hurt.
I hope this helped,
Notify me if you need further advice:)
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it dosnt matter if your fourty or 14 every girl knows what it like to give yourself to someone completely to love someone so much you dont see any other way than being with them no matter what thre flaws are...as women we naturally feel like we can take over the world and change anyone....i honeatly believe people CAN change....but in cases of abuse and cheating it rarely happens if you really love him and he really loves you, you should try conciling and anger managemnt on his part i know no one in the world ever wants to go to a therapist but it seems to be the only way he can get the help that he needs even if you dont stay together....when you were married before there is one good thing that came out of it you WERE STRONG, you were strong enought o leave and strong enough to love yourself more...sadly abuse in the marines and army with spouses is very real and if you were still with him id suggest a support group even one online...the problem with abuse i that it rarely gets better statistics show if it gets to the point of abuse were you get broken bones and such the next step is for him to KILL YOU....thats bad...i know it may seem easy to seem worthless but your not...not at all...now to the hes like your father thing that right there is a leap in the right direction just form thinkin about it yourself youve madee a conection that would have taken some people years in therapy to grasp...we idolize our parents no matter what they do my father is a rageing alchoholic i havnt seen him not drunk in at least three months and he lives with us..but i still love him...we love our parents because its incoded into our minds from the time were born there the two people that will always be there to help you but that isnt exactly true now is it...so we then look for people just like our parents to date and so the cycle continues...i understand why your in the relationship but you can do better and you do deserve better if hes not willing to get help to be with you then why dose he deserve your love?....then we have the he wont take no as an anwser thing the real problem with that is that
a. you didnt tell him clearly enough
or
b. hes gonna become a stalker
im serious men that dont take no for an anwser will follow you around and just do crazy things he has anger issues already if you need to get help from the police DO IT!!!!
and you can complain all you want its not exactly your fault...
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Unfortunately, things aren't going to change unless you decide to change them.
Love is nice and good, but love isn’t going to change a damn thing. If your love could save him, it would have by now. He is not going to change. He is going to keep abusing you, blaming you and turning every situation around on you. He is going play you, and keep you. If accusing you keeps you on Monday, he’ll do that on Monday. If begging you keeps you on Tuesday, he’ll do that on Tuesday.
Sooner or later, you’re going to have to accept that you’ll NEVER be his super hero. He’s not gonna get saved. There is no ‘other, better man’ waiting under the surface for your pure love to reach him and fix him. We are what we do, and what he does is completely wrong. Change will happen when you end this relationship, and save yourself.
It’s good that you know you choose this. That is the first step towards choosing differently.
If your friends and family know what is going on, then, when you’ve finally made the choice to change your situation, reach out to them and ask them to help you make a plan to move and cut off all contact. If you know your judgement, your choices and your behaviour is impaired and in error, lean on someone else you trust to take better care of you. After you’ve left him, and you get your head on straight again, you’ll be in a better place to respect, love and trust yourself.
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