icey0990's

advice column

about

advice

This may scare you and all but I'm fed up. nobody likes me and this guy said he hates when I'm around him so I'm going to starve myself until my body falls to the floor and I die. I have 7 more days of life what do you think I should do on those wonderful days of life that's left.

why kill yourself over someone? totally not worth it. talk to a counselor about your problems. many people suffer depression at some points in their lives. its normal to have to talk to someoen sometimes. think about your plans for the future, growing old with the wonderful man you marry sometime down the road, kids, traveling, all the memories and opportunities out there for you. its dumb to throw it all away over some jerk who has no reason to have such an impact on your life. brush it off and live life to the fullest. dont cut it short. inbox me if you want to talk more

[view]

15/f
okay, so this is probably going to sound really bad but i need help. i dont really know why but i love "getting around"- not sleeping around or anything though. but like every guy that im into ill make out with them and i always let them finger me. but girls are starting to hate me and saying im a whore but guys really like me. and i know most of them just like me cause ill let them play around with me but i really dont mind- i really like it actually. but after most weekends i look back on what all i did and i let like at least 1 guy finger me a weekend- a lot of times more. is that really bad or am i just having fun? and feel free to be honest. thanks!

thats a bit much. you dont want guys to think of you as easy..have more respect for yourself and cut down on that. you told me to be honest..so if i heard about you in my school i would probably call you a whore too. hearing that you get fingered once a weeekend by different guys..thats a bit much and i understand you want to have fun but its not good to be known for that. but this is just my opinion..live your life how you want to. my advice is to cut back on that stuff..do other things to have fun. go out with friends, and maybe meet a guy to settle down with. but if you truly are happy with yourself and are ok with the choices you make, then thats all that counts. just be careful

[view]

okay so im 15/f and my boyfriend is 18. we started dating about a week ago. well hes older than me hes just a lot more experianced than me. we make out all the time and hes really like "fast" with it but its been fine with me. but i let him finger me last night and it was the first time someone has. well he was really fast and when it started to hurt i told him to slow down and he would just whisper to me that "ill be fine and he knows what hes doing" and he kept going just as fast. so i finally told him to just stop and he didnt and so i closed my legs and he just pushed them back and held me there until he was done.. im kind of scared now cause we've talked about having sex but im scared he'll hurt me a lot more and i dont really know what to do cause i dont want to break up with him but it really scared me when he was basically holding my legs apart when i was telling him to stop. what should i do?

thats not good how he didnt listen to you when you told him to stop..i think thats a major thing to be concerned with. it shows hes controlling and aggressive. i would give him one more chance. maybe he just wanted to make you feel good..it was still wrong what he did. make it clear you are unhappy about it..and if anything like this happens again then dump him. your own bf shouldnt be practically molesting you or making you feel uncomfortable. make sure he understands to listen to you next time..and next time tell him firmly to STOP. hope it works out

[view]

My family is like super poor right now. Usually we go out to eat every night & we are eating like.. spaghettios. My family wants to turn off the television, internet, and phones. This is making me extremely annoyed & I just don't know what to do. My mom and dad are all stressed and yell at me for no reason. What should I do?

alright..every family has their 'tight spots.' you need to understand this and support your parents. sometimes things get rough and if they need to cut down on this stuff then go along with it and do other things instead. i know life is gonna suck for a bit but think about the sweatshop factory workers in china making only 15 cents an hour..its pretty crazy. basically millions and millions of people around the country and the world have it a lot worse than you

[view]

One of my best friends introduced me to her high school-ex boyfriend about 2 months ago. When I wasn't around, he kept making comments about how gorgeous I was. Well, she told me when we left his house that she'd like to see me and him get together (I set her up with her current boyfriend) and that he seemed to have really changed. Well, we started hanging out a couple of times and we got drunk and ended up making out and talking for hours on end. We never had sex. We can sit on complete opposite sides of the room and talk for 4-5 hours without ever touching each other. Our conversation alone is better than sex. Well, my friend starts telling me that he hasn't changed and that I needed to leave him alone and she tells him to leave me alone. So, to make her happy - I tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore. The truth is, I lied. I miss him a lot. He may be a player and he may be a bad guy, but I honestly enjoy his company. I don't know how to make this right. Can someone give me some advice?

if i were in your place i would get that guy back! your friend is the one who introduced you, its not fair for her to force you apart because she got jealous. shes the one who said its ok to hookup with him..and now you guys have feelings for each other so definitely go for it! besides..she has a current bf anyway

[view]

ME 19/F HIM24/M we have been togethe for 3 yearsand we live together at hismoms house and well we have been rough patches andall but we mde it throughhe justu tgot this new job making 4 grand every month but the bad thing is hes gone from like 6 in the morning to like 10 or 11 at night i nver get to see him rally anymore and hes so tiredwhen h ges home hedoesnt want t be held on or doesnt want to do anything physical well my job i only mad lik emaybe 6 or 650 in a month so h wanted me to quit so i could find abetter job and we could move out ad get a place together so i go to my job quit come hom gt job interviews lined up and all so we have a wonderful day that day cause he had it off and we were having a great day emotionally and physically lol well the next day i go out with my friends in hi car which he knew about a week in advance! WELL I GET HOME ROUND 1:30AM.WELLHES MAD AT ME SAYING I SHOULD HVE TOOK MY CAR BUT I COULNT CAUS IT DOESNT HAVE A TAG YET WELL HE SAID HE COULNT GO ANYWHERE IF HE WNATED AND WHATEVER WELL THE NEXT DAY I FIND OUT HE HAD WENT OUT TO THE BOWLING ALLEY WITH HIS FRIEND AND HIS FRIENDS GF THAT I DO NOT LIKE! SO I GET MAD AND AK HIM HYD H MAKE ME FEEL BAD THAT I WENT OUT WITH HIS CAR WHEN HE WAS OUT ALL NIGHT TOO AND SO THEN HE GETS MA SAYING I NEVER LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS AND STUFF WELL THEN HE ENDS UP GOING OUT AGAIN WITH THEM 2 ADN STAYING GONE ALL NGIHT COMESHOME THE NEXT DAY IN HE AFTERNOON AT 2 AND LEAVE AGAIN COMES HOM LIKE AT 12 MIDNIGT WELL HES TELLING ME HE DOESNT NAT TO BE WITH ME THATHE LOVES ME ANDALL BUT I BITCH AT HIM TOO MUCH ABOU EVERYTHINGANDHE DOESNT WAN TO COME HOME AND HAVE TO HEAR THAT AND THAT I CAN STILL STAY HERE HE CAN HELP ME AND CAN HELP HIM BUT NOT IN A RELATIONSHIOP AND THE REASON WHY HE HASNT ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM IS CAUSE I TRY T O WEAR THE PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP AS IT IS AND JUST THINK WHT ITD BE LIKE IF IWAS HIS WIFE AND ALL THIS THT HE DONT WNAT ME TO HATE HIM HE JUST CANT B IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW ITS TOO MUCH STRESS.THAT W TRIED AND WE FAILED HE WONT EVEN LET ME TOUCH HIM I HAD TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP WE SLEPT IN THE SAM EBED BUT I COULDNT TOUCH HIM AND THEN IN THE MIDDLE TH ENIGTH HE WS HOLDING ME S TGHT AND STUFF AND IT JUSTHURTS ME SO BAD HE IS MAKIGN IT SEEM LIEK I DO EVERYTHING WRONG IN THIS RELATIONSHIOP AND HES SOO PERFECT ALL IWANT ISSOME ATTENTION ONCE IN AWHILE I MEAN DAMN IS THAT TOOO HARD TO ASK FOR? I DOTN UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD I WANT TO STAY HERE AND US HELP EACHOTER BUT NO BE WITH HIM? ITS TUPID AS SIT I EMAN COME THE FUCK ON SHOULD I TRYAAND MAKE THIS WORK OR SHOULD I JUST GET OVR HI? SOMEONE OLEAE HELP I MKNOW THIS SI REALLLY LOG IM SORRY HES AT WORK AND IM SITTING HERE LISTENIGN TO COUTNRY CRYING S YEHA PLEASE HELP ME I NE DADVICE.THANX

alright i will admit you made a lot of typos, but i think the other columnisits are being a little overdramatic. i got the idea of what you are saying and this is what im thinking:
-you could sit him down and dont bitch at him or whine, just talk. say that you just want some more attention.
-suggest seeing a couples counselor or something
-but the best thing to do is to talk it out. say that you know you are probably being a bit "bitchy." but its not just you and you dotn want to feel like you are always the reason for every fight, etc etc.
-let him know you are willing to work on some things but you just want some more attention

i hope it works. remember, when you talk to him dont bitch or yell..just talk it out.

[view]

My best friend and her boyfriend have been going out for 11 months. I know he means everything to her and she genuinely loves him.
Well, I heard today from a friend that he has cheated on her twice, once relatively soon after they'd been going out and once about a month ago. The thing is, this friend heard it from another friend, who in turn heard it from a friend of the boyfriend. I don't know what the likeliness of it being true is, to be honest - although I've never really liked him and it does seem to fit his character.
This would ruin my friend if it was true. I was wondering whether I should tell her or not - if I told her and it wasn't true, she'd probably hate me forever as it would mess up her relationship and really upset her in the mean time. But if I don't tell her, and it is true - isn't that worse?! I really have no idea what to do, I don't want to lose my friend but I don't want her to get hurt either.


xxxx

being cheated on is terrible, so if it were me i would want to know. i look out for my friends..so i would tell them if i heard anything. if you decide to tell her i would make sure you tell her you heard it from a friend who heard it from someone else,etc. and maybe your friend and the original source can talk and he/she can tell her more detail maybe or even help her get proof by recording her bf talking about it? i dont know, just an idea. but if a friend of mine heard something, told me, and it wound up not being true, i would not hate her for it. i would be happy that she was looking out for me. the only reason why i would be upset is if my friend made up the rumor but thats not the case here. good luck with everything

[view]

alright.. so ever since i told my boyfriend that i wanted to wait awhile to have sex.. it seems like things have really changed.. when we first started dating he always called me and when we were together he would tell me that im beautiful and sweet and perfect.. he even told me that he loved me.. but now he NEVER says nething like that.. do you tihnk its because of sex? i mean i know a lot of you girls out there have boyfriends.. and dont oyu think its weird if your boyfriend came over .. played his psp for an hr and then said he had to leave in an hr to play cards.. and said that he would call you later.. and doesnt call you the next day til 3:30? and then we talked at 3:30 for about 5 min and he said he would call me back and he never did so i started callin him around 8:30 and i called him like 6 times before he picked up and was like hey im playin cards and the call was lost.. and i tried to call him back like 5 but he never answered and hasnt called me back? am i just being too obsessive or what bc this really seems like not enough effort to be in a relationship with me.. please help i hate this feeling :(

he sounds like a scumbag. definitely get rid of him. its terrible,but it seems like he was in it for one thing:sex. and now that you told him you want to wait, he feels there is no need to be nice to you or act like a good bf. you dont desserve this. a good guy who cared about you would understand and respect your choice. dump him asap. you dont need to get used..its a terrible feeling, trust me hun

[view]

is it considered geeky for a girl to play the sims on the computer. i play it a lot but i don't talk about it with friends or anyone really because nobody else plays it and i don't want to be considered a geek. i hate geeky guys who rather play video games than go out and party. i'm not geeky am i?

no i dont think so at all. theres nothing wrong with liking games..as long as it doesnt dictate your life. i like playing rollercoaster tycoon and scrabble lol but i still know how to have a good time. it doesnt make you geeky

[view]

well i havent had my period for 4 months is it normal???...ive only masterbated with my cuzzins and thats it they r girls so is it normal???

i think you should see a doctor because thats not a good thing at all. and as for the cousins thing..thats not really normal either.

[view]

how do you when boyfriend is cheating on you...just wondering

did you mean to ask how do you knoww when your bf is cheating? my answer to that is that you dont know..and thats scary. you have to trust that he isnt. sometimes signs are easy to pick up on. is he being strange? making excuses why he cant hang out? like does he say he has to go somewhere and maybe you find out he wasnt really there? is his phone line busy more than usual, does he keep his cell phone very private? maybe its always on silent when you are around so you dont hear when other girls call him. i know a girl who has been with her bf for one year..and he cheats on her all the time! in the beginning of their relationship someone told her, but of course she didnt beleive it. from what i hear, he constantly has sex with many other girls!
well hope this helped a little. anything else? feel free to inbox me

[view]

19/f

Okay I'm kinda in a bad situation. This 23-year-old man and I are friends, well more like friends with benefits. He has a girlfriend, but he and I have been messing around since February. It started off as him giving me a massage, but it developed into something I didn’t expect. I know that it’s wrong but it feels so right. LOL!! I'm a virgin (by intercourse), and he knows it, but he is not. He says he doesnt't mind it, but i dont believe him. We have gotten as far as oral sex. Sometimes I feel like I want to have sex with him so bad, and other times I feel like I should wait. My question is should I have sex with him since we already gone so far?

2) When we get together to mess around, he calls me “baby”. Well he doesn’t call me anything else but “baby” when we mess around. Is that just because he is into the moment or am i blowing things out of proportion?

3) He asked me did i miss him over the summer, and i said no but i miss what we do. He said me too, and asked me why I didn’t miss him. i told him that i just didn’t and then he got mad. Does that mean he wanted me to? And does that mean that he missed me?

4) Should I stop messing around with him? Please give me a reason!!!

ook i am never rude to anyone on here, but this situation angers me. and i will let you know i am angry with you for messing around with a guy who has a gf.. thats wrong on his part but yours too. i cant stand girls who dont know when to back off. ever think about this? even if he does go to you..who says he wont cheat on you too? what your doing is messed up. nobody should be cheated on. this is my opinion and if yyou want to rate me low then go ahead. my advice is to never talk to him again and have some more respect for yourself as well as other people with feelings

[view]

Hallo...I just started school...and I am 35 years old...so...as you can understand...I am kind of different. I dont wanna go to a night school(where I can find more people my age), cause I work at night as a stripper.
To make things worst..I also happen to be EMO. I was EMO before they had a word to describe EMO. Anyways..I am really desparate...I just cant fit in. Can you help me please? Tell me what am I supposed to do?

online classes are a great option..so are community colleges. i go to a community colleges and in every class i have one or two adults. community colleges attract all kinds of people. people who are adults such as yourself, people who just graduated high school, people who are smart and use community college as a stepping stone, and people who dont quite meet the educational requirements to be in a university. some tips for you :
do not try to appear like you are better than everyone. i have an adult in one of my classes who thinks she is so great and smart, it really doesnt look good to the class. i have an adult in my math class who is just like the rest of us. she gets stuff wrong when she is called on the class and the professor corrects her just like she would correct me. students might actually look up to you as an adult figure with more work experience and just general experience in life. be friendly and approachable and you wont have a problem.

[view]

Okay I have been dating the same guy for 1 year & 3 months. I'm 18 & he is 20. We didn't have sex until 1 day after our 8 month anniversary. When we have sex he always aims to go for my butt instead of the other. Not only that but he always talks baby talk, I mean I know it may be our thing but whatever. If you really think about it at our age thats just weird. Okay here is the thing. It has been 2 almost 3 months since the last time we have had sex the right way. I bug him about it every now & then but not until it really bugs me. Well he had spent the night the other night after he had got off work, his parents were out of town so thats the only way he could stay the night, which is odd, because he is 20 but he still lives at home & doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. Or moving out of his parents house. Anyhow. The morning after he had stayed the night nothing happened, I mean no kisses no touching nothing. So the next morning I asked him what was wrong & why doesn't he want to have sex with me, & he said sex isn't ever on his mind & it doesn't thrill him like it does other people or me. I barely get kisses. He doesn't even touch me anymore. He won't give me any explanation of why he seriously doesn't wanna touch or have sex with me which kind of makes me think hes gay, but anyways, if anyone knows how I can deal with this or if its even normal for a guy not to want to have sex with someone he says hes in love with. Please give me advice as soon as you can, I will greatly appreciate it.

Signed- Confused one.

i completey see why you have suspicions for him being gay. i think you seriously need to sit him down and have a talk with him. let him know your suspicions and confront him. you desserve to kn ow if hes gay because he is your boyfriend. y ou should promise not to tell anyone because it sounds like hes not ready to come out of the closet. the best thing to do is to talk with him and he will hopefully admit he is gay..then this way at least you have some closure to the relationship.

[view]

im 13
i feel like im in a rush to have sex
idk im always horny?
and i just wanna do it HAHA
should i do it yet?
is it too early?
am i weird? :|
and how am i supposted to do it when im pretty sure no one else my age is ready nor wants to.. and i dont have a boyfriend right now.
i've never even had a boyfriend before.. :(
i think guys my age are extremely immature
i've always wanted an older guy haha
and im pretty sure im ready too
i know all the risks and how to be protected and all..
what to do?

please listen to us..its way to young to be having sex. its normal to feel urges and stuff..its just hormones. wait a few years until you are in a serious relationship, with a maturree guy, and like i said until you are older. once you lose your virginity, it doesnt come back. dont make a silly mistake like losing it to some older horny guy just to lose it. you want to feel loved and valued, not used.

[view]

So I have an amazing boyfriend. I seriously think that I am in love with him. And this new kid came into my class and he is cute and funny and extremely nice. I am an all around flirty person, and I can't help but flirt with him naturally. We talked a lot today and I can't help but like him as more than a friend. I don't know whats wrong with me, I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!! I really want to stop liking the new kid because things between my boyfriend are great. What can I do. I feel like such a bad person for liking someone besides my boyfriend.

HELP PLEASE.

Love,
CONFUZZLED :/

the best advice i can give (speaking from experience ) is to stick with your bf. you and your bf have something real and a history. you loveee your bf..so of course stay with him. dont make yourself feel guilty..its not like you are cheating on your boy or hanging out with this new boy behind his back. i must also say i think you should tell the new guy you have a bf..because i dont think its righht for someone to 'appear single." what i mean by this is i think its wrong for someoen who has a bf/gf to make themselves seem like they are single. so just keep this new guy as a friend and keep things going well with your bf

[view]

This new guy just started going to my school, and he's in a few of my friend's classes. from what they tell me, he's really cute, nice, and not arrogant like all the guys in my school. I really want to at least meet him, but i can't think of a way to start a conversation. I would have to go way out of my way to talk to him, so i don't want it to be obvious that i made it a point to meet him. help? And i'm not just gonna go up to him and say "hi, i'm so-and-so," so please don't say to. i won't rate you very high. sorry!

i know it would be awkward for you to just say "hi.." so lets think of some other options..

- do your friends have lunch with him? if so..you could plan with your friends to stop by the lunch room to say hi and give them a notebook they "forgot." when you give them the notebook or say hi..your friends will introduce you to him and then maybe have your friends suggest you all hang out this weekend.
-does he have myspace/aim? if so, maybe find him on myspace and add him. tell him in a myspace message your friends have a couple classes with him..start a casual convo about where hes from, etc. i know this idea isnt what you were looking for..but a lot of people feel much more comfortable talking to a crush online..so maybe you would like this idea;
-if you dont like that idea..have your friends invite him out to the movies,mall,a football game, etc sometime *and of course you come as well*.this way, pressure isnt put on you in an akward situation to make a convo. i think if your friends invite him to hang out you guys will start convos and get to know each other easier.
good luck with everything and i hope you liked my ideas? if not..please write back to me and ask me for more suggestions!

[view]

okay so at my school this girl who started crap with me last year and again on myspace over the summer. and i said stuff to her to defend myself. and she doesn't like me. and she gives me dirty looks now. and she's really mean & so are her friends. & no one likes them. & she does drugs and drinks all the time. and i heard when she was in 7th grade everyone found out she had sex with this one guy. and i don't get like why is she soo mean & does drugs when she knows she shouldn't be like that?

she doesnt sound like shes worth knowing or having on your good side anyway..so basically just ignore her and stick to your friends. i bet shes known as quite the..'slut..' soo its better off to not talk with her. not everyone is going to like you..and i know i want as many people as possible to like me because i think im a pretty nice person...but i know of one person who doesnt like me for no reason but who cares because i dont like her either haha. so just brush it off and dont worry. i dont get why shes so mean and does drugs either, but that her problem. always stay true to yourself

[view]

What are some good ideas for an article for a school newspaper?

i think a good idea would to have a student advice column. a few people can be interviewed and get the job of being an advice columnist for the school paper. students could anonymously submit questions and the advice columnists can answer. interviews with former students are good ideas because its always interesting to read about where people are now and what they are up to. students can submit articles responding to the question of the motnh or something..like "what should be done to improve the school.." or "how do you feel about ..(the war in iraq, a particular school issue, etc.) polls taken by students can be published, school events or fundraisers can be talked about and advertised, help wanted ads are a good idea to inform students what local jobs are available, etc.

[view]

okay so like my mom found out that my b./f and i had sex and like sh flipped ou and pressed charges on him in like a billion different wanys and like so we go to school together. im 15 hes 17.

and like hes scared to talk to me or look at me or interact with me and like the court papers are saying how he cant look at me and if he follows me or something to walk me to class they say its like stalking and this is tearing us apart so badly.

and like i love him so much and also...

he screwed another girl twice and is in love with like 2 other people yet! he said he'd wait for me when this court crap is over and he even wanted to marry me!

and its hard cause i feel that spark and we really had a thing going you know what i mean?

and i think this court thing is changing him into someone that like feels guilty about what he did and etc.

idk what to do.
please help i really need it
[its harder cause im bipolar and i have add so its harder to deal with all this and my mom is against anything i do and is dring me mad!]

This probably isnt what you want to hear, but i think you need to move on from him. I know your atttached to him and you really care about him and everything..but from what i heard about him being in love with 2 other girls is NOT good. You desserve someone who likes you and thats it. On top of this, the court is involved. It is against the law which sucks but you cant do anything to change this situation..and there is no way you can be together now unless you sneak around. i dont suggest this. This is only my opinion..i just dont want to see you guys get in trouble with the law..and i definitely think you desserve someone better than him

[view]