|
huge problem.
okay so im 15/f and my boyfriend is 18. we started dating about a week ago. well hes older than me hes just a lot more experianced than me. we make out all the time and hes really like "fast" with it but its been fine with me. but i let him finger me last night and it was the first time someone has. well he was really fast and when it started to hurt i told him to slow down and he would just whisper to me that "ill be fine and he knows what hes doing" and he kept going just as fast. so i finally told him to just stop and he didnt and so i closed my legs and he just pushed them back and held me there until he was done.. im kind of scared now cause we've talked about having sex but im scared he'll hurt me a lot more and i dont really know what to do cause i dont want to break up with him but it really scared me when he was basically holding my legs apart when i was telling him to stop. what should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
dump him dump him dump him! find someone your own age too! they'd be a lot more respectful. no 18 year old is gonna be with a 15 year old because he truly LIKES her..he wants to get some. and the fact that he kept going when you told him to stop or slow down just reenforces that. i can tell you have a gut feeling this guy is bad news so stop ignoring it because females intuition is always right!
]
i don't think you should be with him cause if you tell him to stop and he doesn't then you never know what he would do when your ready to go to the next level.
]
woah...well, if it was me I woulda already broke up with him.. i'm not saying that you have to break up with him, that's just what I'd do. If you consider not breaking up with him, then the least you can do is talk to him about it! He so should NOT have done that!!! That just goes to show that he has no respect for you or your body.. I agree with one of the other people who wrote you, he could just be using you, and you wouldn't wanna get too serious with him, especially if he done that.. If you put yourself in another situation like that, then he's gonna think he's in control and probably try something.. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is your fault, especially when he's the one who pushed your legs back until he was done fingering you..even knowing that you told him to stop... This could easily lead into something else, so i'd either break up with him, or tell him that he is NOT in control of you.. I really hope this helped I and really hope and pray that everything works out for you and I hope you make the right decision for you!!!! w/b and tell me how everything goes..if you talk to him about it or not.. i'd love to hear from you!!! Skyla
]
Do NOT let him do that, you need to stand up for yourself hardcore, and in this case that would mean breaking up with him. He obviously does not consider you in these situations, and that is not what boyfriends should be like. That is awful, trust your gut instinct which is not letting him do those things. Protect yourself, this situation could possibly get bad.
]
um my friend, thatss border line rape. you told him to stop and he didnt he forced you to keeep going. and if i were you i would not feel comfertable AT ALL having sex with him first of all youve only been going out a week and sex already? please tell me your kidding. im not gonna tell you to break up with him but you should be with a guy who listens and understands and who you feel comfertable with, adn quite honestly he doesnt sound like that kindof guy. sooo.. you make the decision you feel better with.
]
Listen. I know you didn't take my advice but i'm telling you he could screw things up for you. I was almost crying when you sent that back. I knew a girl that had a boyfriend who was controlling and made her do sexual things with him. She never thought bad of him because she thought she could trust him. Her boyfriend raped her several times. He also became very controlling. Like he wouldn't let her wear certain things and he also beat her. i'm not saying this is what it will turn out to be but it more than likely could. Trust me I care about you! I don't even know you but I care! If you're not gonna tell anybody or break up with him at least explain to him that you don't feel comfortable when he gets controlling like that. kk? I really hope it helps...
]
What he did is assault you. In a sexual situation if a girl says no, stop, quit, get off me etc etc. and the guy doesn't well that's being assaulted as it's unwanted sex or sexual touching. I'm not sure if he could be charged in this instance but if so he bloody deserves it.
If this ever happens with anyone again solve it with a kick in the groin and shove or kick them if you have to. You should have fought him off whether he was your boyfriend or not.
You have to get rid of this jerk as fast as you can and move on. You shouldn't be around someone like him who has done something like this to you.
Tell him it's over and to look up the definition of no and to learn to stop when someone says to. Proceed to tell all your girlfriends and other female classmates what he did and to watch out for him.
I would also tell your mother and father that he tried to take advantage of you. As hard as it may be to do so they need to know as they can have him dealt with and give him a kick in the ass.
I know you wouldn't want to admit to them that initially you agreed but pushed him off. Once you do that it's no longer agreeing to a sexual act or activity but being violated.
You have a respinsibility to yourself and other girls to stand up against this guy and make sure they know he's looking to get his kicks sexually and doesn't care who he hurts to get what he wants.
Also tell this person that he's not mature enough to be having sex and won't be having it with you any time soon. If you're scared and he scares you bail immediately. I's the only logical choice.
]
first of all, being with an 18 year old really isnt a good idea, there's kids your age, but anyway, get rid of him, he should respect your boundaries. and if started to finger you and already talked about sex after just a week, he could just be using you. dont rush into anything you'll regret. so think about it before you do anything more.
]
you should never let someone do somthing you dont want them to do the next time he tries say stop or ill scream
]
Fear of the sort you're describing is not part of a healthy relationship. It is a very bad sign that your boyfriend didn't listen to what you were saying - after all, you told him to slow down, AND you told him to stop.
It sounds to me as if you were forced into a sex act you did not want. While you originally were happy to be fingered, it crossed the line once he refused to stop when you asked him.
There is every possibility he will be like this when it comes to sex, too.
It might be helpful to take some time to think about what you want in a boyfriend. Someone who listens to you, respects you, makes you feel comfortable, goes at your pace? This guy hits none of those points, so if they're important to you, think about whether this relationship is really right.
No one can stand up for you except for you, and it's better to do it sooner rather than later.
]
-
]
thats not good how he didnt listen to you when you told him to stop..i think thats a major thing to be concerned with. it shows hes controlling and aggressive. i would give him one more chance. maybe he just wanted to make you feel good..it was still wrong what he did. make it clear you are unhappy about it..and if anything like this happens again then dump him. your own bf shouldnt be practically molesting you or making you feel uncomfortable. make sure he understands to listen to you next time..and next time tell him firmly to STOP. hope it works out
]
More Questions: |