A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 96902
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
I have a job where you cant have piercings, I am not ready to let my nose piercing close up could I get buy with a clear retainer? Or would the company not like that? (link)
|
Ask your boss.
You arent allowed to have piercings because they want to set a certain standard for appearance. They arent your parents, they dont care that you HAVE piercings, just that you dont show them and look cut up at work.
|
ok, im going 2 be starting highschool in august and I DONT KNOW ANYONE! I have NO idea what the highschool is like, and I dont know what kind of people are there. (Ive seen the HS before but nvr been in it) I want to make the impression that like im not slutty, but not a total dork. We have freshman orientation 2, and i dont know what to expect. Words cant describe how nervous i am. Every time i tell someone about my situation there just like "oh ull meet people" and its more complicated then that! someone please help!! :(
thanks (link)
|
1) High school is fun if you want it to be. I didnt really know many people going into my high school. Try not to be too shy, talk to people, let people talk to you, and remember that all of your fellow freshmen are pretty much in the exact same place you are. Scared, worried, and a bit excited.
2) Find something social you like doing, and do it. I played sports, was part of a few clubs, and while some of the things offered in high school I considered kind of lame, its a good idea to get involved with something you can enjoy so that you have a way to get to know some new people with the activity you do together being a common basis for conversation.
3) Dont worry about "your impression". Every girl that was ever hated in high school spent her entire high school life consumed with worry about how people viewed her. Be yourself, and gravitate towards people that see you the way you want to be seen BASED ON WHO YOU REALLY ARE ;-)
4) Remember this for the next 4 years. Almost everyone you know during high school you will not spend much time with past a year out of high school. Nothing they think about you really matters. And high school is nothing like real life.
So dont spend the next 4 years agonizing over high school. Enjoy it as much as you can, you will eventually move on and put it behind you.
|
ive started hooking up with this guy ive met. hes really nice and i met him last summer, we kept in touch randomly during the year but havent hungout till two days ago i went to his apartment and we hookedup. i ended up sleeping there and went back last night and slept over again. i think im starting to like him, and trust me i usually never really like guys, especially guys i just hookup with. i want to know what he wants out of this, because if he just wants to hookup i dont think i can talk to him anymore, because now i kind of want a relationship or something. this isnt me, im never like this and i am certainly not the girl to have feelings. i dont want him to think im some clingy 17 year old, so i dont know how to ask. i always joke around and say stuff like "oh if you dont want to talk anymore w.e haha" and hes like obviously i want to, trust me if i didnt want to i wouldnt answer your calls or IM you.
what should i do to cleverly ask?/ tell him i have feelings (link)
|
Generally if you start the relationship with no basis in emotion, only a basis in sex, its not going to work out.
The one thing I will say, from personal experience, is that two people cannot long sleep together without one of them developing feelings of one kind or another.
In some cases (and being the guy, I think this happens for us more often) you simply become tired of the person. I used to have a few women I knew whom I was friends with on a casual basis and whom I would sleep with when the mood struck. I eventually broke off our friends with benefits situations because they would at least want to become better friends, and for me their purpose in my life was sex, nothing more. Once that arrangement is no longer satisfactory, then its time to move on.
In other cases, like yours, you want more than just a casually sexual friendship.
If you are hitting the point where you feel like developing an attachment is the right thing for you right now, do it on a fresh slate. Become attached to someone you have not "hooked up with" and instead seek... fresh ground I guess.
You will probably regret it a month or two in if you dont.
Another piece of advice. You seem to be someone who somewhat looks down on emotional attachment. Phrases like "some clingy 17 year old" and "trust me I usually never really like guys". You seem to be trying to convey yourself as someone who is above being emotionally attached.
You should work on that. I have been in relationships like yours, where attachment to me was nothing more than an inconvenience to be avoided. But that didnt mean my overall attitude towards being attached was a negative thing. Im currently in the middle of a relationship that just passed the 2 1/2 year mark. We started out as friends, had feelings for one another, decided to sleep together and see where things went.
Two years later, she is my fiance' and the love of my life.
Dont close the door to a relationship in your life just because you want to appear more mature to the kind of guys who just want to sleep with you.
|
ok... i know i sound insane, but im 14/f
some guy i love in florida wanted to kill himself
i felt helpless and i tried to stop him. i told him i would tell my mom, but we live a good day away from him.
i couldnt do anything, i dont know if he died.
i wanted to kill myself, i love him, and i couldnt stop him.
at first, i tried to hang myself, i became shaky and delirious
so i tried to calm down, and i couldnt.
so i went into the kitchen, and grabbed the nearest pill bottle, ibuprofen.
i put the bottle to my mouth, and swallowed.
the problem is, i swallowed seven. i know i sound crazy, but ive NEVER overdosed in my life with anything.
i am freaking, because after i realized what i had done, i researched it, and it says to seek immediate medical attention... but i cant.
i worked too hard to gain trust in my mom.
its ten of three in the morning.
i am afraid of the sideeffects of what i have done...
i need to know, its still early... is there anyway i can reverse it? stop the pills effects? wash them out of my system? anything. i dont need to be lectured, i need to know how to stop this. (link)
|
Ok.
7 Ibuprofen will not kill you. It probably wont even make you sick.
What it will do, is cause a small amount of liver damage (because your poor liver now has to siphon unneeded medication out of you)
Had you taken 15-20 youd probably be needing to visit a hospital right now. As it is, youve probably done the equivalent of about a weeks worth of heavy drinking to your liver. Not great, but not overly horrible.
Dont do it again. Its a bad idea.
And dont attach yourself to emo guys in a different state who want to kill themselves.
|
ok my big brother has this friend right
his friend comes to the house at times
he comes into my room when my brother isnt paying atention
he lays on the bed when im there
and he starts talkin about my body parts
like that i have big tits and stuff
and then he starts feeling on my lips
and then he starts touching me were i dont like to be touched
i dont want to tell my brother because then his friend will tell everyone that im a snitch
then when i use to go out wit my brothers friends best friend he use to ask for a kiss and i use to say no
now that we broke up he wants one and more
what should i do? (link)
|
1) Slap the boy
2) Tell your parents
3) Slap the boy again
You should never let something like this slide because you are afraid of what people might think of you. It is more important to protect yourself than to worry about things people might think about someone they probably wont know for more than another 3-4 years.
|
|
ok so this guy that ive known for years just asked me out. were best friends, and i know i kinda like him, and he likes me. i just dont want a relationship to ruin our friendship. what can i do? (link)
|
If you choose to date him, enjoy it. Work on the relationship. Communicate to each other.
If you choose not to date him, never, ever, ever let him know that you are in any way attracted to him. Cut him off cleanly and firmly.
Liking a girl and her just wanting to be friends is torture. If you let him know you kind of like him too hes either going to try so hard to get you that he drives you away, or simply leave because it hurts himself.
|
im 13/f
ok i know this might sound stupid but sometimes i think im too nice, and people take advantage of me. like, if im sitting at a desk and someone says "aww i wanted to sit there", i'll get up and move, even though i really wanted to sit there. or if some girl is flirting with my boyfriend, i just sit there and dont say anything, even though i'd really like to punch her in the face. my dad and my boyfriend keep telling me i need to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me, but i just can't do it! i dont want to be mean or look immature or rude! how can i stand up for myself without feeling like a "mean girl"?
(link)
|
Be calm when you tell someone no.
Instead of "Hey stop hitting on my boyfriend you ugly fat creature" you can simply say "Id appreciate it if you stopped flirting with him, hes mine."
You dont have to be mean to be firm.
|
one of my students just found out that the guy that she likes is not interested on her,,,she is sad and disspointed. I have told her that she is pretty and she will find someone that will love her.
What can I do to make her feel special?
Also I am afraid that she ends up with a jerk...
you know nice girls most of the times end up with jerks.... (link)
|
One of your students means you are the teacher.
Standard teacher response is, if you value your job stay out of your students social lives.
She will recover, she has people to be there for her, you dont need to jeopardize your job by getting involved. Think before you act.
|
|
Most of my close friends have started to drink/smoke/do drugs/have sex this year and i really don't like it. They are gonna screw up they're life soo bad but theres many of them and only one of me. It seems like everybody does something now. I know im never going to do those things (eventually but not now) and i kinda feel left out. Theyre always saying how they got so wasted and hooked up with all these guys haha but i dont think thats funny. I feel like i have nothing in common with them anymore. What should i do? (link)
|
I loved the "eventually but not now"
Honest answer, you dont really have much in common anymore with them.
Ill give you an anaology, because it is also an addiction and one I encounter much more often. This is going to sound a little ridiculous, but yeah.
World of Warcraft.
This is a video game, that about 7 million people play. I have lost friends to this video game (though I play a bit myself)
I had a group of friends I played with. I eventually stopped doing things with them because all they wanted to talk about was World of Warcraft. They would drive my OTHER friends away beause we would be not playing and all they would talk about was what they wanted to do when they played again. I quit myself for about 4 months just because I was so sick of it.
I dont hang out with them any more. Because this addiction has completely consumed their lives. Its all they do, except when they arent playing and are talking about it instead. Its impossible to have a non WoW conversation with them.
Sometimes, you just have to let go.
Your friend are immature, you are not (comparitively speaking, of course. Since I dont know you personally). Eventually this is going to cause enough problems that its just not worth it.
Even if you begin doing some of the things they do at a later date, it probably wont work very well. Lets say you turn 21 and drink. But you arent someone whos gung ho about it, you just enjoy a few drinks, a pleasant buzz, and thats it. You are responsible.
People who arent responsible will still piss you off, because invariably you end up taking care of their wasted selves.
There is nothing worse than being tipsy amongst wasted people. Id rather be sober, because Im closer to it than where they are and at least if Im sober they recognize that and dont try to get me to act as stupid as they do.
|
|
i was in english and i got a text from my girlfriend and it said " im in gym and i got my period i need tampons" i just said "ok" i dont know if she meant to send that to me. im pretty sure she meant to send that to someone else. and i dont wanna be like hey are you on your period because that would make her feel uncomfortable. but what should i do. thanks (link)
|
tell her you dont have any on you?
She probably did mean that for someone else, as it makes little sense (unless you routinely carry her tampons or something of that nature)
|
I have two female students in my class. they like two baseball players but the two boys are immature yet the girls still like them and the girls still have hope that the two boys would ask them out..
So I told them to give up already because these two boys are not showing any interest...
they have tried to flirt
What else can I tell these two girls?
(link)
|
If you are a teacher, stay out of it. For the sake of your job the only thing you should tell them is to make sure it doesnt interfere with their schoolwork.
|
|
ok, this may seem kind of creepy - but its actually not. so theres this guy at work right. were pretty tight, we always talk at work and text outside of it. we pick on each other 24/7 but thats just how we get along, i mean were cool with each other you know? were like bro & sis basically. thats how i see it. were both natural flirts but i try not to [mainly because im in a serious relationship which i have NO intentions of ruining]. hes told me he likes me alot [as a friend] and everything, and that he thinks im hot and sexy and im his fave person there and blah blah blah whatever [yes he knows for sure i have a boyfriend]. he has never laid a finger on me though and has never done or said anything "suggestive". sounds cool right? heres the thing - im 16, and hes 33. but the thing is NOTHING is going on. i have no interest in him whatsoever besides friends [he knows this], and even if i did, still no chance because of our age. i mean just no. no no no. should i be worried though? i dont think hes a threat or anything, but i was raised to be very cautious, and basically just think the worst. i mean i know to be careful and all, but should i really be worried? (link)
|
He is definately attracted to you. He is probably a bit immature for his age (My girlfriend has a theory, that all guys are secretly 5 years old. Im inclined to agree)
Its probably not a problem. Instead of creepy its more pitiable. Hes probably kind of lonely and heres a pretty young girl who thinks hes pretty cool and enjoys talking to him and flirting with him. He likes the attention.
Just be careful not to send the wrong signals, but theres no problem remaining friends.
Just try not to bring the boyfriend around him too much (or vice versa) as it will probably make him jealous in that "oh how I wish that was me" kind of way.
|
ok first of all for 2 years now, people have been spreading rumors about me saying that i am bisexual and IM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today i got this really rude note from a girl named " hilary" ( i dont really think someone named hilary wrote it)
this is what is says:
Shelby,
you are a hore. some people even think that you are bisexual. i know thats what i belive. i know this because of last year. by the way, your ex boyfriend tyler said eww when he heard that you like other wemon.
Chow,
hilary
this is really making me mad and depressed. I DO NOT LIKE WEMON~!~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM STRAIGHTER THAN A BOARD!!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!! (link)
|
They spread rumors about you because you react to them.
Its immature.
When I was younger, my standard response to accusations and such was raised eyebrows. You dont have to say anything, just give them a look that says "Oh really?"
Sometimes no words are the best response possible.
If you dont get angry about it, and ignore it, they will get bored and harass someone else. Dont rise to the bait.
|
|
does anyone know anything about this job company called vector. its for highshool students. please let me know as much as possible about it. what do they do and wuts their catch?. (link)
|
Do not work for vector.
They are selling products to you as much as trying to get you to sell to other people.
I will tell you now, if you are offered a job that involves selling things to someone and you are not in a retail store, dont take it. Door to door salesmanship is virtually impossible, its one of the worst, most unrewarding and unfufillling jobs there is.
I interviewed. They told me I had to buy my own set of knives for advertising.
So, basically, a saleman said they would hire me as long as I bought something. And then, you have the knives, and can go sell them. You have to find your own people to go sell to. Its ridiculous, because if you arent good at selling knives or you dont have a family that takes pity on you and buys stuff, you lose money.
The catch to all this, is that they "hired you" but they actually made a sale. The person who would be your "boss" is just another salesman.
|
Okay well my dad told me that next school [starting this august] if i get straight A's he will buy me a car. Considering I'll be 16 in February thats pretty exciting. Well my only problem is I'm not that smart. Last report card i got C's and B's oh...and i failed math =[. So clearly I'm not like brightest crayon in the box. I didn't really try last year though so i think I could do better...but not straight A better.. Last year I was to preoccupied with everything else but this year i really want to do well. He said if i get 1 B the deals off...so the pressure is ON. I REALLY want this you have no idea!!
So can anyone give me tips or anything on how i can get straight A's? (link)
|
Study
Alot.
Set aside time every night to read things, go over things. If math is a weakpoint then work on math.
If your parents can afford a car, they might be able to afford a tutor. Talk to them about it.
A random study tip, you tend to retain more if you study for 20-25 minutes at a time. Then take a 10 minute break. Then study some more.
|
I work in the IT Dept of a manufacturing company where I upgrade users' computers. In the process I move their files and email account to the new computer.
On someone I was upgrading recently, I saw an email (it was what their email opened up to) relating to them finding a new job. It was from a friend or relative encouraging the employee to leave us & go to the new employer (where friend now works).
Should I tell my boss, or their boss, or HR? Or just leave it be? (link)
|
Leave it be.
Private e-mails are just that. Private. The e-mail was not involved in any illegality or anything like that. It is none of you, or your boss's, or HR's business.
Think about it this way.
If the company loses an employee when they werent expecting to, theyll be fine. Turnover is part of business.
If your friend decides to stay where he is and then gets fired, it could hurt him.
If you are posting this from work, stop doing so, and address things like this from home.
|
|
There is this guy from work who has been showing an interest in me. The other day he came up to talk to me, and then before he left he said "here's a treat for you". it was a bunched up peice of paper that he was going to thow out any ways. Do you think he did that as an excuse just to touch my hand? Because he's touched me before on my shoulder, but this was the first time he's touched my hand. (link)
| |
Every time you notice a significant change in the interest a guy shows in you, its probably because hes attracted to you.
|
Ok i am SO SO SO SO UBER BORED
Barely any of my friends can han gbut yeah idk what to do and my mom is out of country and my dad works all day.
What should i do?
:[
anything please help me!!
rater (link)
|
www.fark.com
www.somethingawful.com
www.freearcade.com
those should get you started
|
my boyfriend is leaving for the coast guards in november. he has boot camp and then is enlisting for 3 years. he's 19 and i'm 15, will be 16 by the time he leaves. i'm scared about what's going to happen.
we've been going out for ever a year, since june 18, 2006. back in august 2006, my family had it so we couldn see eachother until late october 2006. during that time, we both said we were together, but both cheated on eachother. i made a mistake because i was lonely and didnt think i'd be able to see him ever again and same thing happened to him.
i dont want the same thing to happen, especially since this time, it wont be for a few months, it'll be for several years. i'm scared out of my whits about theis, to the point where i'm in tears bawling right now.
my boyfriend and i are madly in love with eachother, we plan on getting married together some day and having children together. actually, he doesnt know this part yet, but i'm actually pregnant right now. i dont want to be without him, but he says this will make life for us better when he gets out.
how can i make it so we can stay together? has anyone else gone through this before and made it? please help me, i really need it. (link)
|
At 19 he is still very much in the middle of a maturing phase.
Hell, Im 22 and Im still very much in the middle of a maturing phase.
Anyway, he might well come back a different person. This could be a good change or a bad change.
...
I didnt read the "Im pregnant now" part till just now.
Crap.
Tell him. Immediately. Go from there. I can make no predictions because its all about how he reacts to the news.
|
14/f
I'm a little nervous about what people say about high school. People say that high school is really a scary thing and that the older kids always pick on you. One of my older friends got molested at a high school party. (Problem Solved) Kids are always talking about the populars. I never had any problem with it in Middle Scool. And I really don't know what to expect ? Can anyone share expieriences and tell me the honest good and bad of high school ? (link)
|
1) Do not be afraid of high school. High school can be fun, you just have to seek your fun out. Find people you can relate to and hang out with them. Find activities you like doing and do them. Do sports, do debate, do whatever you want.
2) Following number 2, do not be afraid of high school classmates. Im making this statistic up, but 90% of the trouble and bad memories from high school happen because someone did something they didnt really want to do, and were talked into.
Also. If from day 1 you make it known that you will not be talked into doing something you dont want to do, and you will stand up for yourself, people will respect that.
Do not say "I need to think about it" when you want to say "No"
Do not say "Maybe" when you want to say "No"
Do not ho humm, do not hesistate, when you want to say "No" say "No"
About parties, because if you know people who go to them you will end up at one eventually.
If a guy starts grabbing you, remove his hands, look him in the eye, and tell him that if he does that again hes going to get his balls ripped off and fed to him.
This will stop most drunken high school guys.
Never, ever be afraid to stand up for whats right for you just because you are afraid of what people might think or say.
Lastly, high school is 4 years. At the end of these 4 years, you will probably never see almost everyone you went to school with, again. So when it comes down to "Do I do this to impress these people" Just remember. Scars, destroyed family relationships, and criminal records last a life time. The people you're trying to impress dont.
My graduating class was 720 people. I see 2 of them on any kind of a regular basis, and both of those people are pretty cool.
|
|