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TOO Nice??
im 13/f
ok i know this might sound stupid but sometimes i think im too nice, and people take advantage of me. like, if im sitting at a desk and someone says "aww i wanted to sit there", i'll get up and move, even though i really wanted to sit there. or if some girl is flirting with my boyfriend, i just sit there and dont say anything, even though i'd really like to punch her in the face. my dad and my boyfriend keep telling me i need to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me, but i just can't do it! i dont want to be mean or look immature or rude! how can i stand up for myself without feeling like a "mean girl"?
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Be calm when you tell someone no.
Instead of "Hey stop hitting on my boyfriend you ugly fat creature" you can simply say "Id appreciate it if you stopped flirting with him, hes mine."
You dont have to be mean to be firm.
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you cant let people walk all over you. you can stand up for yourself without coming off mean. like if somebody says they really wanted to sit at a desk youre sitting at, you could say "im sorry, maybe next time you could sit here?" or if a girl is flirting with your bf you could say "im not trying to be rude, but it really makes me uncomfortable when you flirt with my bf. could you please stop?" as long as you say things politely, and dont act mean, people wont be offended. standing up for yourself is always good.
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Saying "no" or sticking up for yourself doesn't actually make you mean. There's a nice way of doing things but getting your point across all the same.
When a girl is flirting with your boyfriend -- tell her he's with you & she needs to back off. If you just stand there and let it happen, she might take off with your boyfriend or try to do more than just flirting.
Standing up for yourself doesn't make you rude or immature unless that's your intent or that's how you say it. You don't wanna be too agressive, but you wanna make sure you were stern & positive.
Don't be passive [that's what you are right now] & don't be agressive [being mean & swearing]. Be ASSERTIVE. Being assertive is getting your point across while being nice too. Practice saying NO and have your boyfriend give you situations so it can help you.
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Okay well you won't be a mean girl if you dont give up your seat. PROMISe. You dont have to be rude when dismissing something like for instance the your seat.
And letting girls flirt with your boyfriend is not only your problem but your boyfriends. When your in a commited relationship your boyfriend shouldn't be flirting with any other girl but you! And you shouldn't let him. Now again youdont have to be rude. Honesty is always the key. If you tell your boyfriend the truth or you tell the person that said they wanted to sit in your seat just say im sorry i didnt know you wanted to sit hear. Maybe next time. Or Well you can sit next to me. And suggesting other ideas will help.
Now. just remember be honest. Have self confidence. Your just as good as anyone else.
BrittanyMegan:]
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you need some self confidence. alot of girls have this same problem. its good you want to be a good girl but you really shouldnt be a push-over. there is a way you can just say 'no' and not be mean. if its a small matter like someone needs a pencil thats ok to say yes. but if someone is flirting with your boy-friend then you def. need to say something (after all you dont want to lose him). you dont even need to tell them in front of so many people if your scared people will think your mean just talk to the person privately and tell them how your feeling. that way your not saying no your just telling the truth. and when you do think your being mean just remember 'im not being mean, im just being truthful'. besides everyone wants a truthful friend
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