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5 year age difference
ive started hooking up with this guy ive met. hes really nice and i met him last summer, we kept in touch randomly during the year but havent hungout till two days ago i went to his apartment and we hookedup. i ended up sleeping there and went back last night and slept over again. i think im starting to like him, and trust me i usually never really like guys, especially guys i just hookup with. i want to know what he wants out of this, because if he just wants to hookup i dont think i can talk to him anymore, because now i kind of want a relationship or something. this isnt me, im never like this and i am certainly not the girl to have feelings. i dont want him to think im some clingy 17 year old, so i dont know how to ask. i always joke around and say stuff like "oh if you dont want to talk anymore w.e haha" and hes like obviously i want to, trust me if i didnt want to i wouldnt answer your calls or IM you.
what should i do to cleverly ask?/ tell him i have feelings
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Generally if you start the relationship with no basis in emotion, only a basis in sex, its not going to work out.
The one thing I will say, from personal experience, is that two people cannot long sleep together without one of them developing feelings of one kind or another.
In some cases (and being the guy, I think this happens for us more often) you simply become tired of the person. I used to have a few women I knew whom I was friends with on a casual basis and whom I would sleep with when the mood struck. I eventually broke off our friends with benefits situations because they would at least want to become better friends, and for me their purpose in my life was sex, nothing more. Once that arrangement is no longer satisfactory, then its time to move on.
In other cases, like yours, you want more than just a casually sexual friendship.
If you are hitting the point where you feel like developing an attachment is the right thing for you right now, do it on a fresh slate. Become attached to someone you have not "hooked up with" and instead seek... fresh ground I guess.
You will probably regret it a month or two in if you dont.
Another piece of advice. You seem to be someone who somewhat looks down on emotional attachment. Phrases like "some clingy 17 year old" and "trust me I usually never really like guys". You seem to be trying to convey yourself as someone who is above being emotionally attached.
You should work on that. I have been in relationships like yours, where attachment to me was nothing more than an inconvenience to be avoided. But that didnt mean my overall attitude towards being attached was a negative thing. Im currently in the middle of a relationship that just passed the 2 1/2 year mark. We started out as friends, had feelings for one another, decided to sleep together and see where things went.
Two years later, she is my fiance' and the love of my life.
Dont close the door to a relationship in your life just because you want to appear more mature to the kind of guys who just want to sleep with you.
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Chances are, he is only concerned right now with you sleeping over/hooking up, and hasn't even thought about the potential of a relationship with you. At 22, all he cares about is getting some, especially if you hooked up that quickly. That's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true.
You have a couple of options. First, I would say now is not the time to mention your feelings for him. Try to find reasons for you to hang out that do not involve hooking up (until the end of the date, at least. :) ). He won't even begin to see you as girlfriend material until he has had a chance to spend time with you that is not just hooking up. Right now in his mind, when he thinks of you, he thinks of hooking up, and I would venture to say if you said something about feelings to him, he would be totally confused. If you can go out and do things together, you'll wire his brain to see you in other ways besides sexual, and in time he may realize that he could/does have feelings for you too.
You could also just continue to do what you've been doing--hooking up--for a while, and see if he ever wants anything more from you (as in, an actual date). If the only time you ever see him is to get it on, then, sorry, that's all he wants from you.
In the meantime, try not to get too attached, and try to have fun. And be safe!!
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