I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I want to use tampons but im scared to do so, my friends are always like "have you used one yet" and they say its easer and not go gross but im scared. (link)
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There's NO reason to be afraid. That's what will make this difficult. Your muscles will tighten and fear will make it so insertion is more difficult. You can't get injured here, cause irreversible harm, or get it stuck or lost.
Ask yourself what makes me scared about using them for the first time? Then talk to your friends, mother, older sibling, relative or person you trust about it. Once they put you at ease things will be easier for you. I think if you address your fears first and then try to use them you'll be A-okay. Otherwise fear works against you making it hard as you'll psych yourself out.
Here's a link that may help you http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/goods_tampinsert.jsp
It helps to have one foot on the ground and the other on the toilet for insertion. You could also use KY Jelly to ease insertion. Have a read of this article as it should help and definitely talk to your friends about their first experiences with this.
Also, if you have a handheld mirror it may help figure out where everything is and how to insert it properly. You could also have a friend instruct you through the bathroom door or a parent or someone close in the same room depending on comfort zone. Either way, if you get rid of the fear you'll be fine.
Just remember millions of girls use them and all of them were as apprehensive as you are but made it out okay. It will become second nature much like your friends told you.
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i know this sounds stupid, but i don't know how to give a handjob. help meeeeeee (link)
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This is the kind of question that gets people banned if they answer it. This is why you won't get a lot of answers. Having said that it's pretty self explanatory or you can ask your partner what they like.
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I feel guilty about everything. Like, for example, if I don't do something such as ride a rollercoaster (I hate rollercoasters) or eat my vegetables before I eat my meat (yeah, something silly like that). I feel like I'm supposed to do everything 'normal'. Like the normal way to do stuff. Everything has to be traditional or else I feel sorta like it will fall apart or something. I don't even really know. It's hard to explain I guess.
I like things done in a traditional way or the normal way. Like if my parents ask me to go to the beach, even though I really don't like the beach, I'll say yes but not because I want to or I'm being nice. Going to the beach with your family is something you're supposed to do because it's a summer tradition. If I were not to go with them, I'd feel insanely guilty. Does this make any sense?
Another example: My high school life isn't exactly going as I would like it too. My dad always talks about how he had so many friends and how he'd go to all the parties and junk like that. Well, my friends sorta all abandoned me this year and I've never gone to a single party. And I feel really guilty about that. I feel like I'm missing out on a normal thing and that I'll look back at this in twenty years and be filled with regret and guilt.
So it's semi-big things like that as well as stupid things like feeling guilty if I don't eat my vegetables before my meat.
I don't know why I feel this way all the time. Any advice or anything? (link)
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This sounds as though it could be obsessive behavior. I'm not saying you have a disorder but you do seem to do a lot of things in patterns or a certain way or you freak out. That's common with a few mental health issues including OCD.
Maybe it's something psychiatric that you have no control over. I'm not sure where the guilt comes from. Perhaps you know you're missing out because you have to repeat the same pattern and know you should just let things unfold but physically won't allow yourself to.
Your social life is suffering because people can sense your anxiety and that there's something different about the way you act. You're also not spontaneous or outgoing either. Try joining clubs, student council etc. and get in there and meet people.
You're trying to force yourself to do things a certain way or out of your comfort zone and feeling bad when you can't change. I think you should talk to a doctor preferably a psychiatrist about this and see if it's a disorder or not. if it is therapy and medication might suppress it.
In the meantime eat your meat first for once and don't worry about it. The sky won't fall if you do. Start there and try to do something different than the "normal" way (which is really a compulsive way) and see and learn that there's nothing to feel guilt over.
It won't kill you also to tell family or anyone else you would rather stay at home than go to the beach. They'll understand completely. Like I said all of this is appearing to be mental and you should seek help from a mental health professional to handle it.
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Alright, well right now, i am sort of "talking" to this guy. Whenever he calls me on the phone and he talk or asks me questions, sometimes, i can't understand what he is saying and i ask him "what?" a dozen times and he seems like he is kind of annoyed but his voice is really hard to hear when he talks low and i don't want to sound like a total dork or anything with bad hearing problems and i defeintly don't want to tell him. Also, i think i may be coming off mean because he said he was going to do something tomorrow and i was like "thats boring" and then he didn't really say anything and sometimes i just do that when i like a guy and i don't want to let him know that. Any help? (link)
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There's nothing wrong with telling him that you have a very bad connection and everything sounds faint. It's better you tell him that you can't hear him then let him think you aren't listening nor interested.
That's how you lose someone. Tell him your phone is very wonky and you'll call him back on another extension. What's so hard about that? If you like him than tell him you do or start acknowledging him at school.
Someone has to make a move or you won't get together. Let him know you weren't trying to be mean but that you couldn't hear a word he said on the phone. Telling him "could you please speak louder?" isn't a difficult thing. It means you can hear him if he does. It's silly and actually stupid not to tell him that. It will avoid a ton of misunderstandings over what he said and what you didn't hear.
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I have bi-polar and would like to speak to other people who have this condition, so basically I would like to know how to get on to a chatroom and to find out does this condition ever go away? (link)
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I have dealt with the disease since 2003. I would be happy to help you out. Does the disease ever go away? Well, it's always there (non curable) but with the help of medication and monitoring with a psychiatrist it will go dormant.
You'll be able to lead a pretty normal life once your medication is dialed in correctly and be free of delusions and cycling moods. That's what they refer to as stability. Things may be difficult and excruciating to bare right now but you will get your life back and maybe even better than before. Stay positive.
When it comes to Web sites if you search for "bi-polar support groups" on the Internet tons of pages will pop up where you can talk to others. What you should do is talk to your doctor about support groups for teens that are face-to-face where you can meet friends who won't judge you.
Anyways, I here (just send to my inbox) and will help you with what you need to know about handling this problem.
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Okay, i pretend to be a really happy person, but i am veryyy depressed. Or, well thats what the quizes say. I normally wont buy it, but they say its serious depression & i need help A.S.A.P. but problem is...i dont really have a doctor. And i told my brother one time and he got pissed off. I am afriad to tell anyone now becuase i am afriad they will get mad )= i know it sounds stupid but thats how i feel! And i need help. So if i tell a doctor, they'll subsrice me some pills and will tell my family. Does anyone know how to cure depression without anyone knowing? And please dont say stuff like, Spend time with the fam. becuase there one of the reasons of my depression.
Thanks =D (link)
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Unless you are in crisis and unable to function normally a psychiatrist cannot tell your parents anything that you may have brought up in a session. I know this from experience.
Secondly, quizzes mean nothing. They always seem to suggest a person is suffering from something when they aren't. You haven't really told us what makes you think you need help and why you feel you have depression.
What makes you think you have clinical depression and that it's serious? If something is going on that doesn't feel right you have to get it checked. Even if it's nothing at least you will know. You can't screw around with your health especially your mental health.
It's not fair at all to blame how you feel completely upon your family. They may not be helping but they aren't the source. A doctor may see you and prescribe medication but once again he cannot tell your parents anything unless in crisis.
You should see your family doctor. You don't need to tell your parents why and tell him/her what you are feeling and be honest. They'll know if you have a problem you'll need to consult a psychiatrist about.
Who gives a damn if your family get annoyed here. What matters is that you know whether you're healthy so you can put this to rest. If you feel you can't function normally visit an emergency room and get assessed by the psychiatrist on call.
Aside, from that unless you look into it with a doctor there's no way to handle depression or any mental illness by yourself. Then again, you may be fine and have no problem. See a family doctor as that will make you relax.
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hi my inside vagina lips are really big and kind of wrinkled I think its really ugly and gross but what do guys think? I won't let any guy finger me and I haven't had sex because of it do guys find it attractive or not and is there anyway I can make them shorter thank you 17/f (link)
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There's nothing anatomically wrong with you. You really are worried about nothing. Everyone's genitals look a little bit different. large vaginal lips are indeed common as are smaller. Nobody's genitals look exactly like they do in text books, diagrams, even pornographic material.
Guys will likely be fine with this. They know that everyone looks different. He'll be more concerned about the size of his penis and how you think it looks compared to being concerned with this.
Don't let this stop you from experiencing physical intimacy or exploring your sexuality as it's really a non-issue to guys and should be to yourself too.
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my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year. yet we havent really done anything. we are both mature and all, but im not sure. i like just talking to him more than doing stuff. we arent shy around each other or anything, he knows i never want to. but i feel bad for making him miss out. even though he says he's okay with it, he would just like to do more. eh :/ what do i do? (link)
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If you aren't ready you aren't ready plain and simple. Never have sex to please someone else or if you feel uneasy. Obviously, there's no problem here as he really does love you and is fine with waiting. If he wasn't he would have moved on.
Take him at his word. He's telling you the truth. Don't feel bad at all as you owe him nor anyone else nothing. If you don't feel ready for sex yet that's perfectly fine. He respects that. It's being responsible. You don't need an accidental pregnancy in your lives.
Also, sex isn't a competition just because you are a year in to your relationship and other people you knew "did it" by now doesn't mean you should. Relax, and when it comes time to have sex you'll both know. He sounds like the type of guy who will wait until you're set.
In the meantime you should keep an open dialogue with him about sex and sexuality. Read about it, get informed and learn about birth control and being safe. Right now if your gut says not to do it trust it.
That said there's many safe ways to experience pleasure together that doesn't involve intercourse or anything sexual. Cuddling, massage, caressing etc. Believe me, he doesn't feel as though he's missing something as he's with you and happy. If it was about sex for him he would have moved on long ago when you told him you weren't ready yet.
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My child atten a chaholic school and I got sick and could not pay for the tution. so the chaholic shcool wouldn't release my child school records. I tried to make payment arrangment but they would accpet my offer. (link)
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Hire a lawyer. No school be it private or otherwise can withhold a student's academic record. It has to be forwarded on to the child's next school the moment they register. It's not YOU that has to ask for it to be forwarded either. The public school board knows how to acquire it on their own.
Try to register your child in public school and explain to the principal there how you've been stonewalled for a year by this other school for having fallen behind in payments. They cannot hold your child's academic future hostage legally. Let the new school handle it.
In the meantime, look into resources and support groups for parents who need or wish to home school their children. There's no reason why your child shouldn't be learning still and getting credit for it. If he/she is in high school long distance education online or through correspondence course would get them ahead. Failure to do that means you're partially responsible for that child not being taught for over a year.
There's still things you can do. Search the Internet and find tons of resources and people who can help you set up a program at home until the new school or your lawyer goes after those who won't release the records. Let the two boards of education and schools, as well as council fight that battle.
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ok so ive had sex with this guy only 2 times.. but he can't cum... he told me he barley ever masturbates and when we have sex he just can't cum he swears its not me or anything im doing thats stopping him he said that it feels good and he gets close but can't and he wont really talk to me about it other then that so i don't know whats wrong, does anyone have an idea what might be wrong? and some tips on how to get him to cum would be gooooood to ;] (link)
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Find out if he's on any prescription medications. Why? His inability to ejaculate easily could be a sexual side-effect of the drug. There are other reasons for this which be sexual hang ups, putting pressure on himself or being scared of something related to sex or intimacy.
Ask him if there's anything he's afraid of from getting you pregnant to something downright irrational. Fear can definitely paralyze people during sex from enjoying it or ejaculating in his case. If the problem is mental in nature he'll need a psychologist to figure out the reason for his sexual dysfunction.
If he's enjoying the experience than that's a good sign. He's always close to climax also. It just may mean that it takes him longer and keep going or that he can't achieve easily for some reason.
If he sees a urologist about his reproductive health and mentions the issue he's had with inability to ejaculate through sex or masturbation they can check to see if there's a physical problem.
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Okay, I'm 17 and a virgin but I've been externally masturbating (rubbing my clit) for a few years.
Ocasionally I'd try penetration with my fingers or something else but I never really got much from it. Lately I've been trying the penetration thing more but I'm not getting ANY pleasure from it.
I can go fast or slow, rub my clit while I'm penetrating..I just get no pleasure what so ever from it.
My question is, is it normal to not feel pleasure from masturbation penetration but still feel pleasure from actual intercourse?
I'm worried that when I start having sex I'm not going to get pleasure from intercourse. (link)
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You have nothing to worry about. Masturbation is much different from intercourse. The clitoris is an organ whose only function is for sexual pleasure. Naturally, self stimulation will feel more pleasurable or different than sex which is still pleasurable.
Like YSG told you we can't really elaborate. Statistically, most women feel the greatest pleasure from clitoral stimulation and not from intercourse although still pleasurable for them (but not the same sensation).
I'm sure when you have sex for the first time that you will have a strong connection with your partner and have no physical difficulties in the way of experiencing pleasure.
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I'm really into modeling and acting. Well, mostly modeling. It's something I would like to pursue. But my agency is no more and I'm looking for new ones. Every agency cost so much money and I know there has to be cheaper. Can anyone recommend an agency they're with that's really convienient and actually looks out for jobs for you?
15/f (link)
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First of all why are you paying them a cent? They should be making only 10-20% of what you make. They only get paid when you work. The classes, workshops, using their photographer etc. etc. is a rip off and common scam in your industry.
If the agency is no more than you better believe there's a damn good reason. NEVER pay anyone to represent you especially if they promise you a lot of work and then don't get calls.
I admit I know more about acting than modeling. But I know kids/teen principal agents can get you print advertising as well as auditions for film, TV and commercials. That would be where I would start. If you want to be on film sets consistently and make $10 an hour (standard wage for minimum 8 hour call) than being a professional extra would suit you.
The agent called a Background Talent Agent will secure you spots in crowd scenes for TV pilots, TV movies and feature films that are either shooting in your area or a metropolis that can be driven to.
The Background Talent Agent is the ONLY person aside from a kids only agency that can charge $60-$80 to enroll. ACTRA in Canada and SAG in America (the unions) allow them to do it because kids and those who try being an extra often bail when they realize it's work and not at all glamourous. You got to love it to withstand 18 hour shoots.
So, I would call ACTRA if in Canada or log on to their site and look for the list of REPUTABLE agents and only deal with people on that list to try and represent you. SAG maintains to my knowledge a similar list of agents to deal with versus not.
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To start, I'm 17/F.
Today I received a phone call for a job opportunity. I had never heard of the company before (Vector Marketing), but it seemed interesting. The woman told me it would be in customer service and I could make roughly $15 an hour (and choose my own hours). Seeing as I make half that at my current job (which is tough, laborous, etc.) I thought it sounded great. I have an interview set up for Tuesday afternoon.
I found out they received my number from a friend who started working there. They said he reccomended me for the position. I asked my friend about the job (for more in depth info) and he described it saying how great it seems (his first day is tomorrow).
I looked on the web today and learned a lot about the company. The information I found is somewhat frightening. It's seems like a big scam (people do make "fast money" but, as always, there'a a catch (includes the employers lying to employees - or just "stretching the truth". People aren't getting paid for what they should, and you even have to pay $145 for your products (Samples to show customers). There's a lot more to it than that. She told me the job would be customer service - she didn't say I was basically a telemarketer for knives (except it's door to door sales & we're supposed to make contacts with people we know to sell overpriced knices - I'm servsafe certified and know all about cutlery - the knives aren't worth it, especially if you're not a chef).
I'm 100% turned off to working for them for various reasons including those pointed out above. Anyway, to get to my point...
How wrong would it be to just ditch the interview? I mean without calling. Or, if I do call, what should I say? I don't really want to get into details and offend them. Should I just say that I've read up on the job description and it's not really for me?
I don't know if it matters, but other than my cell number, the only info that have on me is my college e-mail address (I'll be entering my freshman year in August) and my first and last name (which are quite unique...).
Thanks in advance.
Also, if you have any experience with this complany (I know they only hire 17+ and you MUST be a high school graduate if you're under 18) then please let me know to help me make sure what I hear is true & not just angry employees making things up.
Thanks in advance & sorry for the length. (link)
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Well you did what you were supposed to do in checking them out. The fact they are running a scam is unfortunate but at least you know this now. Also you stated they sound frightening but didn't elaborate.
If you feel very uneasy about this interview it's for a damn good reason. Trust your gut as it never lies. Don't go to the interview and do not give it any mind. You figured out what they are all about and want no part of it. Don't worry about offending people who are running this kind of business. It's the least of their worries.
Also, even if someone recommended you to their boss you always have to go through an application process, interview etc. without them knowing who are until you show up. They wouldn't just contact someone at random who has no idea why they are calling.
It's possible this is like a pyramid scheme and the kind you mentioned about lying to people and making them pay hundreds for useless products. It also sounds as though your friend could be involved in this (perhaps unknowingly) and gave them your number as another person to draft into this scheme.
Ditch the interview, don't give out any personal information and find a job that suits you if you need one where you can trust who and where you are employed.
Tell your friend that you read about the company and didn't like the things you saw written about them and what they did. Leave it at that and thank them for the tip.
You can't control whether they get offended but whether you go to an interview or take a job based on their or any other recommendation is up to you. If your friend gets pushy about it after telling them you aren't interested you'll know something is up.
Also, you're a girl and you were just called by someone whom you don't know supposedly based on a friend's recommendation for a company nobody has ever heard of. They called wanting you to meet them in person for an interview. Alarm bells would be going off in my head here as this could be a potential lure.
I would tell your parents about the call you received, what you know about said company and that you are uncomfortable about going and your friend's involvement. Let them bring it up to his/her parents and investigate things further.
As far as Tuesday goes don't bother. It's the safe thing to do here as something doesn't seem to be right about this.
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i got fingered by my loving boyfriend and we both had total consent but i feel guilty and so does he a slight bit, but we both loved it. what do i do to feel better and im feel more guilty than he does.
but what can he do also ? (link)
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Ask yourselves what is the real reason I/we feel guilty? There really is nothing to be ashamed about here. What you were doing is normal and as you know a form of masturbation. It's better to be doing this rather than having sex which could get you an STD or pregnant.
I would talk to him about it and how you both feel and the reasons why. There's nothing dirty, immoral or against God, Christianity etc here. If that's why you feel guilty you have to know that this doesn't lessen your beliefs or bond with God etc. etc. You won't face eternal damnation either. Relax, and if you both enjoy it continue doing so.
As long as you talk about it with him and deal with your mutual guilt and work things out that way nobody will feel bad in the end or uncomfortable. Reassure your partner and yourself that you aren't doing anything wrong.
When you think of the stats that 90% of males masturbate and 70-75% of females you'll see that this is normal activity (fingering) you're engaging in. It's pretty much a common activity that a lot of people you socialize probably do but wouldn't admit. It's all fine if you do, fine if you don't enjoy this with your partner. No reason to be guilty really.
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hey, i'm a girl and i need some suggestions for masturbating. fingering myself does not feel good. i've had to use a variety of objects but i just can't find one that satisfies me enough. i have no access to buying or getting any dildos. i do NOT have a shower head to use.
anyone have any ideas or suggestions of things to use? please suggest household objects that i would most likely have. (link)
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This is the type of question we aren't allowed to answer on the site without getting banned or in serious trouble with the site operator. They can't give out any how-to info on anything sexual.
All, I can say is experiment and find what works and doesn't for you. That's part of discovery. As for objects make sure they are clean and do not have any rough or jagged edges as that can hurt you.
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hi i am a sex addict i have never acctually had sex but i do it to myself all the time is this bad i mean i am just so addicted i need help on knowing if this is bad.....please help. (link)
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Masturbation is not adultery. Just so you know Webster's Dictionary defines adultery as "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse." This clearly isn't that.
You aren't a sex addict either. What you are doing is normal even if you do do it 2-3 times a day. You aren't hurting anyone or yourself either.
The only time it's wrong/bad is if it's ALL you are doing and nothing else. For example, you lock yourself in your room and don't emerge to be with friends and do normal activities. Other than that you're a normal male or female dealing with hormones and urges the only way you know how without sex.
You're also in good company as 70-75% of women do it statistically (all ages) and 90% of males. Doctors, pediatricians have even gone on record to say it's natural and perfectly fine if you do or do not do it. So don't worry unless it's all you ever do and you don't lead a normal life apart from it.
That's where there's something wrong. You haven't reached that so you're fine no matter what anyone will say religious or otherwise that it isn't.
Most people you know including friends and classmates likely do this as much as you do but don't talk about it openly. It's almost universal with teens from every piece of information, book and human sexuality course I've been in or read.
It's only a problem like I said above if it's all you seem to ever do or want to and you aren't leading a normal social life or doing activities and getting out of the house or your room. It's not an addiction or health problem otherwise.
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I'm 13 about to be 14 and I'm a girl. okay I', gonna get straight to hte point but it may be confusing...
One day me and my mom were in the car and she was like you know that you shouldn't be having sex and se is bad and blah blah. i waslike mom i know. because really i do know the outcomes of sex...its not a good thing and it can change your life! i know!!!! and then she was like after you have sex you get this wet stuff in your underwear and coming out. and i was like okay.... but the thing is i already have that stuff coming out! i know for sure that i have never had sex before! its something that I would never do until I'm married! and it scares me that i already have that stuff coming out. my friend was like you might have been rapped! and thats when i started crying my eyes out to NO limit! so the question is..... how do you know if you've been rapped...but you cant remember anything??...or is that a natural part of life??...thankz in advance for the help!! (link)
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To be raped someone would have to force sexual intercourse on you or molestation sexually touch you or invite sexual touching that is forced upon you. That hasn't happened here and you're every bit a virgin so you need to relax.
What's happened here is called vaginal discharge or vaginal waste. It's normal and happens to every girl and every woman. Normally it looks like egg whites.
If it looks like cottage cheese and stinks a plenty it means that you have an infection. Don't panic about that either as it's no big deal. All you need to do is tell your mother in a note or in private that you have this gunk in your underwear and it smells bad. Can we get it taken care of? Also, your vulva, vagina may itch and burn so that's another big sign of infection.
She will take you to a doctor (a gynecologist) or phone one for their recommendation and get you a prescription or over the counter cream or suppository like Monastat that you apply to your vagina until it goes away.
Trust me, your mother knows you haven't had sex and won't be mad at you for talking to her about this. She'll be mad if you don't do anything about it though. She's dealt with it you can bet and knows it's normal.
This might be a great time to talk to her about sex again and how your body works. Here's a great article about discharge that you can read together so you can ask questions and know you're fine. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/honorably_discharged_a_guide_to_vaginal_secretions
Why haven't your friends talked about this or not know about it? Well, they may not have experienced yet, could be too embarrassed or wouldn't know how to explain it themselves yet.
I'm also going to recommend that you buy a book (well buy both as one is for guys and the other for girls) called What's Happening To My Body by Lynda Madaras. That will answer all the questions you have and are embarrassed about.
Your mom is right sex at your age or in your teens should be avoided but sex itself at the right time, right person and age isn't wrong. Don't think it's dirty or wrong as it's a beautiful thing when it's time.
P.S. good discharge doesn't smell, bad does.
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So, I'm going into my junior year of high school. I'm in this one club that I really love. I applied for a board position and got secretary, (it's not an election, the former board members decide) which I was ok with until I found out something else. There is of course, a president but also two co-vps. One of the vps was on the board already but the other wasn't. The one who wasn't, Bridgette, is sort of the equvalent of me in terms of being dedicated and contributing to the club. What hurts me though is that she's smarter than me and has more friends which is probably the reason she has a higher position than me (again, we are on the same level with being dedicated to the club.) What upsets me the most, though is that I can probably never be president, now. The vp who has already been on the board, Luke, will definitely be president after this year and probably Bridgette too since she is vp this year. There can only be two presidents at a time. So is it totally hopeless for me? What can I do to try to get myself the position senior year? help! (link)
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Your problem is that you're too focused on their talents and what they do than on yours. Focus on what you can offer, be a team player and also set yourself apart from them.
The person who can do the best job in the end and still be fun and outgoing is going to be elected to the position. Things change rapidly you just never know where the people you mentioned will be next year or if they'll even have time for said club.
You have as good a shot as any of them. Truly believe in your abilities and do your absolute best. People will notice that. If they see you're not insecure or wrapped up in yourself stewing over things or feeling inferior they'll think of you later on when it counts.
Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just have fun at this and stop taking it so bloody seriously. Relax about it and do what you can and use your talents wisely in the role you have now. The difference is you take this too seriously and well they don't. You need to become more playful, open, energetic and focused on having fun and doing your best.
In the end that's what they notice and that's how you advance. I've been there. Did all that and won an election in senior year (acclaimed actually) and was VP for three years. I got there using the advice I gave you now.
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i'm 15/f.
i'm really sad about mostly everything in my life. i can't feel happy ever it's like nothing makes me happy. i'm so depressed i'm about to sleep with a guy i've only dated once which i know is bad but there's nothing else i can do. i feel like i have to give in to the pressure of just having relationships for sex because no one wants me for anything else. I need to stop being depressed all the time but i can't. I've felt this way for like 4 years. If i had the balls to end my life right now i would. but i don't. so i'm pretty much stuck here.
i've been on meds and seen shrinks and stuff but nothing works for me. please give me some advice that wont make me feel worse.
i am tired of people calling me ugly and insulting my body. how do you handle that kind of treatment all the time.
i have no friends. i cant keep a relationship for more than 2 months. i hate life. (link)
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Believe it or not there's someone out there who does love you or wants to know you. You have just become convinced that there isn't and that nobody wants you for anything other than sex.
That's a BS belief that you need to drop right now. If you go around thinking that about yourself it's no wonder you're having problems with others. They can sense your fear, wants, desires and insecurity by the way you hold yourself and don't let others in.
You need to try and relax and take every moment and every day as a brand new one and try to shut out dark thoughts and replace them with good thoughts about yourself. You are beautiful, smart, lovable and talented. You have the same skills and capacity to make people like you as does the most popular girl in school. You just have to accept that and believe.
As far as sex goes you're going about handling your sexuality and body wrong right now. You're using it to try and numb pain you feel in your life. You'll get hurt that way and severely taken advantage of. If it's not something you really want to do don't do it for anyone or to gain friends, popularity.
So, a couple of snot-nosed brats called you ugly and made fun of your body. Odds are they were jealous of your looks. Think to yourself do I really give a shit what they think of anything? It shouldn't matter to you. It's like someone calling you purple. They can believe it all they want but you can't let yourself be duped.
I can understand that you've seen lots of shrinks and therapists. believe me good ones are hard to find. You definitely are depressed and if your moods are up and down all the time you might have symptoms of bipolar disorder. I'm saying that having it myself.
You should document in a journal how you feel about yourself and what you've been thinking lately about life and wanting to end it. Then do the smartest thing you could do and go to an emergency room and tell them how overwhelmed you are and what's been going on for years and be honest. I have a feeling you aren't honest with shrinks out of fear. That's why things haven't worked.
Ask them to hold you there to allow them to get your medication straight and figure out how to get your life on track and aggressively dealt with so you can be happy again. They will have in-patient and out-patient groups and programs also. That's how you get a great specialist to look into things. That's what I feel you need.
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Kind of curious.... Im getting married to a wonderful man, and I thought until yesterday that we had been completly honest with each other, well some how we got on the subject of having kids, and we have talked about it before and we boh have agreed we wanted them, well yesterday he was like if it's possible. So I guess before we were ever together he got in an accident and got kicked by a bull down there and he says he cant have kids..... why didn't he tell me this earlier, but Im not going to not get married to him over that but is there any way that we could still have kids together or atleast one of our own? I really kinda upset by it but I guess I was just really looking foreward to starting a family. Sorry its so long. (link)
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Have him see a urologist about this issue. They'll know if there's any real damage to his penis and testicles that would make it difficult or prevent ejaculation entirely.
I should also mention that it may not be from being kicked by a bull either. If he's on medication or has been for a long period of time and found himself unable to ejaculate at all or easily he should see the urologist. Chances are it could be a sexual side-effect of that.
Then again he could be BSing you all the way and rethought wanting children. Most likely, he has an issue with being unable to release semen easily or at all. Take him to the specialist mentioned above as they are the experts on the male reproductive organs and injuries to them.
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