I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am Jake's first gf. He is 19. He was always busy with studies and stuff before so he never interacted with too many girls let alone have sexual feelings for them. So he told me that he does have sexuAl desires but cant fulfil them as he cant have an erection. I'm not gonna leave him or annything coz I love him but then, I think in the long run it will get me frustrated. We do talk about sex and he does get turned on but without the erction. How do i deal with this? Is there any cure? What would you have done if you were in my place?
Thanks for the help... XOX (link)
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He should see a urologist to discuss the problem. Basically, the valves in his penis meant to trap blood to make an erection aren't functioning correctly. This allows all the blood to flow back out leaving a non-erect or semi-erect penis. It's not your boyfriend's fault.
He's 19+ so he can enter a condom store no problem. They sell rings that trap the blood inside of the penis to maintain an erection for intercourse. See the urologist and see about the product. It may change things.
You should also ask him if he gets an erection through self-pleasure or not. If he can't than what I've said above holds true. As far as how to deal with it until then be very patient, do other things together and keep trying. Go slowly as that may help but if it's medical and blood vessel related it won't but the rings could as they trap the blood.
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Whats normal in terms of how many girls a guy has slept with when he is 24? Thanks (link)
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There is NO normal number before 24 or 18 or whatever age. Everyone has different experiences and has sex at different stages with different number of partners. It's not a competition like some people seem to think it is.
So whether your partners have been 0-5 it's fine. It's about healthy choices, decisions etc. However, be responsible and reasonable if you're having sex at random and often re-evaluate that as it's trouble for STDs etc. Personally I think any number higher than 5 is a lot. But there's no set normal age.
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i heard i can buy like a years worth of quick pick lottery but i dont know how (link)
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https://olg.ca/lotteries/lottoadvance.jsp?ref=home_menu
You can subscribe through there. There's different subscription packages and number of draws depending on how long you want it to run for.
While it says to download their form and fax it or complete one online I would call the phone number on the site. This keeps your VISA number from anyone who shouldn't have it. I've had my bank card compromised two times now and it's a pain in the ass. I thought I would remind you to watch it with anything online or offline.
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I was just wondering, what is the difference between Blu-ray and DVD? Can I put movies on blu-ray onto my itunes? Because I tried to put a dvd movie onto itunes and it didnt work! thanks for the help! (link)
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With most Blu-Rays a digital copy of the movie comes with it. ?You then place that disc into your DVD player on your desktop and enter a code for it to download to ITUNES. There are instructions so it will work.
As stated by the other responder it's movies in HD and no other system can do that. It also makes IMAX movies and sequences appear like they do in specially equipped theaters.
The best thing you can do is buy a PS3 as it's the most up to date and easy to use. you can also play games on it too. Well worth it and the best blu-ray systen going for an affordable rate.
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I am on a mac and sometimes while browsing this site a malware warning comes up. Do you think it's ok to continue or should I take the precaution?? (link)
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I'm also on a MAC and primarily use Safari as the browser. I also use Opera and Firefox. I get the same message. I'm beginning to think it has something to do with security preferences warning you about different sites than Google. However, if you wish to trade notes between the three of us that may help DN.
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17/f
god i cant help but be depressed, its the holidays when you really start thinking about love, im not speaking romantically im speaking of in my family. you see i got kicked out of my house about 5 months ago for not having a full time job, im living with my grandma who is not speaking with my parents its been hard but ive been getting through it, i have a strong head on my shoulders. now it almost christmas and i havent spoken with my parents or seen my little brother who is five in that long, i can see people look at me and as they talk to me i know what they are thinking, but i dont want their pity. i wish i could just focus on the true meaning of christmas but its just hard when everything you are use to suddenly isnt there anymore, let alone not caring about you. dont get me wrong i am eternally thankful for what i do have and what god has given me as of now. as im writing this i cant help but cry, i've never cared about the gifts, it was the love of family, i wish i could forget its christmas but i realize thats unrealistic. i guess i just wanted to talk about it thats all, possibly even hear your view on this or whats going on in your family during this time of the year.
thank you for reading this. (link)
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What your family has done in kicking you out is not only cruel and unusual it's illegal. They must provide for you until you are 18-years-old. If they kicked you out 5 months ago that's not right and they can't get away with it.
This has little to nothing to do with taking up with grandma or the reasons. Most 17-year-olds let alone those in early 20s lack full-time jobs. If they're kicking you out over that than something isn't right with them mentally.
Are you sure there is no drug, alcohol, partying type problems on top? I think it's in your best interest to get your school administrators to intervene her and get counseling to empower yourself and perhaps them to change.
I know how bad you must feel at this time but if you reach out to others and become a better person in spite of this that's the best gift you can receive. Being grateful even if you have little leads you to have more in the long run. Definitely bring your situation to the attention of the adults in your life. They might be able to make things better and more tolerable.
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My wife and I got nice gifts for christmas from out son. My wife quickley went on line and looked up the dollar value of the 2 gifts, she is now mad because her gift costs $220.00 and mine was $395.00.
I feel this is not right and she should not compare gift costs. It's the thought that counts etc. My wife thinks gifts to us should always be equal value.She now wants to give hers back.
what do you think?
JT (link)
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She's out of line completely. A gift is a gift and a kind gesture from the person who bought it. To return it unless it's defective or only because of cost is wrong and offensive to the giver.
Regardless of how much it is worth the person giving it obviously wanted you both to have it. So, tell her to be bloody grateful, stop griping about the price and enjoy it. Doing anything other than that whether she liked it or not will offend your son and cause a rift.
It's not about equal value here its about what the person who gave it meant it to be and the effort they put forth. In all truthfulness $220.00 versus $395.00 isn't a HUHE difference.
I think it's pathetic unless you're a little kid to look up the value of one's Christmas gifts online and get pissed off because someone spent more on someone else. Your wife needs to wise up. How would she feel if your son did that with everything she bought him? It's gross and downright tacky.
Accept what you got and don't offend who gave it to you as they owed her NOTHING regardless of being a parent or not. Suck it up, enjoy it and don't worry about the bill. It's not like she's paying for the damn thing. She doesn't get the spirit behind giving apparently. I'm sorry to tear her down but that's the facts.
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Hey,
I'm having a new years party and its going to be a girl/guy party. I was wondering if u could give me any advice as to which games we should play or what we should do. None of us want to play 7 minutes in heaven or any making out games. tanx! :) (link)
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Why don't you get and or create your own murder mystery game. Ask your friends to show up in a costume. Give them a character to play for the evening. Craft a good script and spend most of the evening trying to figure out who the culprit was.
Also good is a DVD trivia game called scene it. It's all about pop culture and fun to play. You could also rent a whole pile of video games and have a mini tournament on sports ones or WII would be ideal.
That's what I can come up with for the moment. It's been a long time since I was your age so it's difficult.
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I used to be really smart, and my friends respected me for it. All A's, president of clubs, etc. I fell into a mild depression and school got put on the back burner- people lost their respect for me and I lost my confidence. I'm not sure what to do, I know it seems like a pity problem. But my best friend won't even ride in a car with me because she doesn't think I'm responsible.
How do I earn people's respect back?
Its going to take a while to return my grades back, but I feel like even if I tell people I know I'm responsible they won't believe me. (link)
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You are better off without these idiots. Real friends are not judgmental especially of someone with depression or a mental illness of any nature.
Odds are they're scared of you or it and or have been educated by their parents to be cold towards you. Or perhaps they think erroneously that they must walk on broken glass. If they have no respect for you then I say screw them.
Find other people to be friends with because NOBODY has any right to shun you or treat you badly over something you can't help. As far school goes due your best and don't worry about A's or B's. Top grades come when they come.
It's actually wrong for teachers or yourself to think that you can get A's or be on top of anything but your own health which is your ultimate priority right now. It's natural to feel weakened or disengaged after being put on medication or dealing with a mental illness no matter how mild.
You'll pick up at school eventually. In the mean time don't drive yourself nuts for grades. As long as you are trying that's what matters speak to your teachers about your medication, diagnoses and how it's hurting your school work. They may have some ideas to help you.
As far as your friend goes she's pretty ignorant. You need to tell her "I may have depression but nothing has changed except your attitude. I'm still responsible and licensed to operate this vehicle. If you don't like it than find a new friend and take the bus."
You have to stand up for yourself, choose your battles wisely and kick certain people's asses for judging you. Do that only when it's worth it. The bottom line is that everyone around you is ignorant or fearful.
After that don't justify grades, behavior, or any changes to anyone else as you don't have to. You better believe one thing anti-depressants and your illness will impact your concentration and performance in school. I wouldn't be surprised if you feel as though you have cotton between your ears when it comes to school and thinking. It's common talk to your doctor.
Are you drinking tons of water? This can affect how you are feeling and performing if on certain drugs. Drink more several times a day.
Confidence will come gradually. Surround yourself with a new circle of friends who are supportive and try joining clubs inside and outside of schools. You need to chuck some of these people aside that you mentioned.
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i just got my acceptance letter to a catholic school today, and i got accepted. problem is i didn't get a scholarship. not even a $1500 one.
i got a 572 on my HSPT entrace exam
and i get straight A's.
however, i got a's & b's last year.
the high school costs $9,960.
my parents said if i get at least $3000 scholarship there, i could get in.
so how do i convince them to send me there?
the town high school thats my only choice now SUCKS but my parents think that if i do well there i could still be good in college
i REALLLLY want to go to this school
so please give me some convincing things i should tell them and dont criticize me telling me how my parents are right.
thanks (link)
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I won't criticize you but I need to point out a few things. For some families due to their job, credit situation, finances over all $9,960.00 is a lot. Your parents would love to see you happy and in that school but can't pay the fees. It's as plain as that.
They're hoping you can get a scholarship to get in for the $3,000. That's your only ticket right now. Even if you did receive one it would only be for the year then you're in this rut again.
What I would do is call the school explain you want to be there more than anything. As them for possible solutions to help you out financially. I really can't even if it's a private school fathom that they don't have bursaries or financial aid.
If it's right for you to be there God will see to it. However, you should look at Montessori and other private schools just to see if you aren't overlooking what should be your rightful place. Maybe not being able to go might open up another opportunity even better.
You don't have to go to the local high school and it may not suck like you thought. There's options other than there or this school you are set on. They'd gladly admit someone like you with your excellent record.
You can't convince anyone to do anything for you or send you to a certain school. It's always up to them. Right now they've told you the only answer they have it can't be done with their finances.
Even if they did send you how would you feel about them having to sacrifice a lot in order to do it? That's what it's really about not the school, not you, not your marks--it's family finances and no way to pay for this.
You're going to have to settle for the fact that they may not pull this off for you but that there's other options and schools that may be in your price range as equally as good. What you want sometimes is not what you need or your real place. Start investigating all options and if you can get financial aid by meeting with the school admin.
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I'm turning 19 on the 14th and some friends and i are going to windsor to drink. (19 is the legal drinking age there, we live in detroit). i was wondering about the clubs.. it seems like most, if not all, of them are 19 and up and some of my friends are still 18. will they let them in if they have like 2 months til theyre 19, or are they strict? do some of them not check ids? If we can't get in there, we can go to restaurants/bars that let people of all ages in. At my aunts baby shower, i met this woman from canada and i told her my birthday plans ha and she told me about some place that has good, mixed drinks for only $2. i cant remember what its called. anyone know of places with mixed drinks or shots for only $2? or what are some good places that i can get into with my friends? i looked online a while back and found a good place with $2 drinks, but i cant remember what it was called and my friends might not be able to get in anyways. anything or place you know of would help!
thanks. (link)
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If you or your friends are not 19-years-old no club in Windsor, Toronto or Canada will let them or yourself in. Why? They can be charged, the bouncer lose their jobs and their liquor license could get pulled. It happens more times that you would think.
This goes double for Ceasers Palace in Windsor, Casino Rama and Fallsview Casinos. They won't even let you on the property to attend a concert or sporting event. As for Bars all of them ask for ID from people who look young before giving them liquor.
The Air Canada Centre, Rogers Centre or anywhere where liquor is served will card you. The sports bars like Shoeless Joes, The KEG, Boston Pizza all would let you in but won't serve you anything other than juice and pop.
Nightclubs are all the same. You can however get into Second City, Yuk Yuks and all comedy clubs if you're 16+ they just won't give you booze. I highly recommend The Second City in Toronto or any Yuk Yuks franchise more specifically Niagara Falls, Toronto, Ajax. All towns near T.O.
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Hi, I'm eighteen years old, and recent became aware of my abnormal vaginal appearance. My inner labia is a good centimeter or two longer than my outer labia, and discolored (i am fair skinned, and the overgrowth is grayish). I am not currently sexually active, but I am still very embarrassed by this. I may be sexually active in the near future.
I do not want to talk to my parents about it, so labiaplasty is kind of out of the question. Is there anything I can do to help this? Will guys be freaked out by this? Is there any way to self-perform a sort of labiaplasty or reconstruction?
Thanks (link)
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There's NOTHING anatomically wrong here. In fact this is quite common with inner and outer labia being longer. Discoloration is also normal as all genitals are different.
The skin they have is of different texture and color than anywhere else on the body. It's all fine and no need to be upset or embarrassed. I strongly doubt any guy would stick up his nose over this. They're more concerned about their penis and your opinion of their genitals than be worried about yours.
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I am undecided on what gym to join, it's either "the Total Woman's Gym & Day Spa or L.A. Fitness". This are my doubts on both:
Woman's Gym:
Closer to my home, don't have to get on the FWY
It offers great dance and workout classes
It's all women so it is more comfortable
limited workout machines
Membership is about $10 dollars more then L.A. Fitness but it includes unlimited dance classes.
I saw two reviews online that this gym has lousy customer service.
Doesn't have the step master I love.
L.A. Fitness:
A bit far from home, I have to get on the FWY.
No good dance or work out classes.
Co-ed so I might feel a bit intimidated with men.
Various locations to use and a lot of workout machines.
Membership is a bit cheaper then the woman's gym but if I want to take dance classes it will cost me much more then the other gym.
Great gym used to go before but then stopped.
Has the step master I love to use and many other machines.
Which one to join, I'm very undecided..............HELP!!!
& thanks for your advice, I truly appreciate it
(link)
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It's NOT about cost but rather what you get for your money. The first gym has a limited amount of machines. That's a problem and will be a giant headache trying to compete with others for them. The gym also has a lousy track record with customer concerns.
You also should look at space and size of the gym, what kind of instructors they have and whether or not people are happier spending more for dance classes there than anywhere else.
Bottom line is you can get dance lessons from qualified people about anywhere but as for an actual gym and quality workout can this first gym do that?
I would go in with a list of endless questions and ask a representative from both gyms all of them and then pick the gym that is suited best to your needs. If they won't give you the time to do that than forget their gym. You have to really ask yourself what is it do I want out of this? and pepper them with questions.
Having said that I would join L.A. Fitness even if it is co-ed (you'll get used to it) as they have tons of machines available when you want them and MULTIPLE locations so you could work out anywhere which is good if you have school in a different area of town.
If it was a great gym before it should be now that you are returning to it. It seems like a no brainer considering you were satisfied before with them. Better to go with whom you know provided quality before than take a risk with someone else.
You could always say to their rep what Woman's Gym is charging for the same and see if they can give you some kind of deal or even a student rate. If you don't ask you won't know. Quite often they don't advertise such deals. But believe me they'll do damned near everything to have you as a customer than for you walk out the door to another gym.
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ok my name is tyler and in elementry school i knew a girl and we were like best friends but then i moved in third grade and now in the tenth grade she is in one of my classes and i still like her but i dont know if she likes me too. What do i do??? (link)
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If you haven't seen her in 8 years and the last time was when you were 8-years-old than I would bet all my money against her remembering you.
Too much time has past period. If she remembers you which isn't impossible but highly unlikely it will be because she has a photographic memory or has connected your name with a favorite childhood memory like you have in your mind.
She probably has a boyfriend but you could re-introduce yourself tell her where you knew her from and see if you get a friend of it but don't expect her to have any kind of romantic thoughts about you as she doesn't know you anymore from Adam.
You can fix that by being her friend and if life spins that way great but don't bank on anything other than hello for now or extension of friendship.
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ok well i had sex last tues and we were safe we used a condom with spermicidal lube and i am suppose to get my period around the 8th of Dec.
well i am so worried that i am making myself sick.
i have the normal symptoms that i get when i am about the start my period. Should i be worried? (link)
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It sounds like you really protected yourself here with condoms and spermicidal lube. Provided they were used properly, nothing broke etc.. the chance you would be pregnant is next to nil.
The symptoms you have are your fears projecting themselves onto your body fooling you into believing something that may not be so. There's zero reason to panic unless your period doesn't show up after the 12th.
All it takes to end this is to get a pregnancy test and see. In the mean time calm down as you aren't in a crisis nor confirmed as pregnant. Don't worry or think ahead like that when you don't have to yet. it's fear and not pregnancy symptoms you are experiencing and I'm pretty sure I'm correct on that one.
Deal with right now and the future as it comes. Worse comes to worse if you did become pregnant there's got to be family members, parents etc. etc. that would help you. There's an answer to the fears, problems etc. Right now relax and don't create a problem in your mind. Deal with the present. You'll make yourself real sick if you don't.
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what he thinks about me. sometimes it seems like he is just my friend, but other times it's like, woah, totally new Brady talking to me. does that make sense? hmmm....I kind of like him, but I'd totally still be cool with just being friends. my friends tell me all the time "Oh, I think he really likes you" or "He talks about you all the time." idk, I'm just kinda curious. (link)
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Curiosity kills cats but it certainly won't you. The only way to know what he thinks or if he's interested in you more than friends is to ask.
Just tell him you're getting mixed messages, signals, vibes or whatever word you want to use and see where things stand. It's not as hard as you think.
Maybe you'll get a boyfriend out of it. It would seem from this experienced eye that he's trying to feel the situation out and doesn't know how to act around you. He's probably as curious and even as scared as you are. One of you will have to broach the subject.
There's no other way to know if he likes you and guessing or wondering really wastes time. Just ask him. He'll probably be relieved as will yourself for doing so.
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18/f.
i think it's time for a change :)
so i've never really done anything with a guy before besides the making out, getting felt up, gotten a hickey you know that kind of stuff, never had an actual boyfriend but i really like this guy. have for three years now. i know he wants to do something with me, he's always tried to get down my pants,and things like that but i've always been to scared so i push him away like i don't want him to! i do want to, he makes me horny but i'm nervous. i know i'm not ready for sex, i've told him that but getting fingered doesn't really bother me. i was just wondering if i'm the only one who feels like this. did any of you feel like he would think your vagina was smelly, or your "lips" were different sizes, your vagina was not smooth enough, that you were too wet? i always overthink everything, and i know it would probably feel good but i'm scared that my vagina is so abnormal. and i have to wear a pantyliner because i usually have a lot of discharge, so i have taken that off before i've seen him (just in case) and he would always touch me and i would get really wet, and my underwear would be like soaked and i was worried he could like feel it through my jeans and so i'm worried if he did finger me he would be like wow, thats disgusting. just little things like that worries me. and i mean, i know alot of people who do it with their pants on, wouldn't that be sort of an awkward position? just any information, experiences, anything that could help me would be very much appreciated. please don't tell me to make sure it's with a boy i'm in love with, make sure i'm ready because i know i am but it is my first time getting fingered so obviously i'm going to be worried about it. my cousin who is 17 just told me tonight he fingered this girl (she is not a slut) and he told me that it was her first time and she was scared but she still did it. i don't understand how people just do it and don't always have doubts. i feel like if i just do it the first time, i will be okay after that. it's just taking the first step. well anything else that could turn him on would also help, just any tips that could help me with the "turning him on" and making him really want me will be great. thank you so much! (link)
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A couple of red flags came up while reading your question that I want you to think about. If you are extremely worried or wound up so tightly about doing this hold off for a bit.
Develop more of a trust with him and talk about where this can/can't go physically and concerns. Only do it when you feel 100% right about it. Also, you say about all he wants to do is get down your pants.
That sets off a warning bell that it indeed be all he's concerned about and trying for. Make sure he's not the type to ditch you and or blab to his buddies about what he got X to do with him. I'm sure, he's not like that but do consider if in fact he might be.
The other thing is with guys his age not many of them have seen outside of magazines etc. they may have gotten into actual female anatomy. He's probably feels excited and scared to get this intimate.
Also, mature guys know genitals (both sexes) don't smell like a rose garden. As long as you don't have an infection it shouldn't phase a partner. If it did than it's their problem. He's likely got the same issue about his private parts.
Also, you're the one in charge here and not him. Don't forget that set some ground rules, discuss how far you both are ready, what you want from this relationship etc. first. and that it won't escalate to sex.
I need to point out that sex between two people unless both 18+ isn't legal but if this progresses towards it get protection from a method of birth control plus condoms. The activities you're looking to get into with him can easily get you carried away or him. You need to tell him where to stop.
Bottom line if you have tons of doubts, fears, insecurities about this HOLD OFF until you address them with him. That's how to stay safe, secure and enjoy yourself.
It's also common sense but bathing or showering before you engage in this activity would make sure you're clean and less worried about cleanliness.
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How do I eat a girl out and have her enjoy it enough to orgasm? (link)
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We don't give that kind of info out here. There are minors and liability.
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Is there any way to get free / cheap stuff like posters / shirts/ signed things / etc from bands? I was thinking maybe to contact them on myspace but they'll probably just think it's little kids saying how much they love them. (link)
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Find out who manages or promotes them. E-mail or call their promoter, agent or publicity contact about a photo or a poster. Usually, they'll stick something in the mail or ask you to send an SASE for a photo. That's where you send an envelope where you pre-paid the postage.
There are tons of sites on the Internet such as Star Archive (which you pay a membership but well worth it) where people have found and tested addresses to get photos. They post addresses you can then use to get your own photos.
As for Myspace or Facebook forget it. They likely never read it and whomever does gets thousands. If you go through the right contacts and addresses you'll score photos.
Look in the liner notes of your CDs. The names of people at the label, PR contacts, mangers etc. will be listed. Contact their company or the label directly and ask about photos and fan mail. You'll be successful because most people don't know how to contact the correct people whose job it is to handle publicity and or fans.
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Hi I am a serious nintendo super mario fan. I even have the very first nintendo. I Love it but I am getting kind of bored becasue I play x Box and the Wi at friends houses and the only games that are good for my console are super mario, tetris and contra. It gets kinda boring cuz I only play for like 15 min and i turn it off. I like to play adventure/arcade games. I like career mode games so I can beat the game. I like some fighting games and I am kinda getting into sports but not really. Anyways, my question is what is better for the type of games I play Wi or Xbox????
Also what console do you think is better and why??? (link)
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You ought to invest in a PS3. The graphics are amazing and most of the sports games boxing, WWE, racing, NHL etc. etc, Rockband, Guitar Hero. are on the console. An added bonus is the most up to date Blu-Ray player built in o you can watch movies in HD as well. It's a no brainer to purchase one of those.
A lot of the sports games such as NASCAR '09 and the NHL or boxing games have career mode where you can advance as champion. They've introduced a new system with a 160 GB hard drive for saving data.
You can also go live in an instant to play online against others. The price tag is a bit hefty but well worth it for what you'll get out of it.
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