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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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16/f..okay this may sound weird..but after I masturbated at night last night...I had a dream about the guy I like. Is that normal? Does it have any connection??

I'm really sorry for asking this stupid question.. (link)

Dreams are thought pictures. Your thought process and whatever you were thinking about earlier doesn't just shut off the moment you go to sleep.

Whether you are afraid of something or thinking of the hunk who sits in chemistry class anything/everything you think about during the day can come out in dreams. There are people who actually get paid for scientific studies on the meanings of dreams.

Is it normal? Let's put it this way you aren't the only person who has dreamed of a crush in a sexual/non-sexual way. Masturbation is normal too and considering you were doing it before you slept and most likely thinking about your crush there's no wonder it carried over into a steamy dream.

It's normal, you're normal, thinking about him this way is normal and so is masturbation. You're fine and a normal 16-year-old girl as this kind of stuff is normal and consistant across the board with most teens.


16/f
What's the best way to ask my mom if I can go on birth control ? It's not because I have sex, but because my cramps unbarable. I brought it up to her once before, and she said I was to young & how my older sister didn't go on it until she was 18. Any ideas on how to bring it up to her and/or how to get her to say yes ? Anything helps. Thanks :) (link)

When is the next time you can see a gyanecologist (preferably) or a family doctor? What you should do is tell your mother that you are booking an appointment to talk to them about severe menstrual cramps and would like her to accompany you.

When she's out of the room talk to the doctor about birth control, your mother's concerns and that you're not interested in sex yet but want the pain to go away. See if they think this is the best option for you. Then ask him to bring your mother in and have him tell her what he/she recommends.

You could also talk to an aunt, grandmother, friend's mother etc. that your mom trusts the opinion of and they can tell her that you've mentioned the cramps to them and tha birthcontrol is not such a big deal. This especially helps if you know a friend who went on birthcontrol over this and her mother.

You could also have a female teacher (gym, health etc) or guidance counselor call your mother and tell her that the cramps are affecting your performance in school and making it difficult to do work or participate in some activities.

While you may not like this idea the bottom line is you need an other adult whose authority and views she trusts to talk to your mom for you.


I have acne all over my face!I try to eat foods with alot of iodine in them, does that help or just make it worse? (link)

You should see your family doctor. They can look at your skin and perhaps refer you to a dermatologist. Your family doctor may be able to prescribe as well as give you sample tubes of medication that destorys the stuff that causes zits and keeps them from returning.

The problem with over the counter products for acne is that they cannot treat severe cases at all. These products like OXY and Clearsil don't have any medication in them and that's what gets to the core of the problem and eliminates it.

I recommend that to you. It doesn't matter much what you eat be it chocolate, soda etc. some people are just prone to bad acne. If you see a dermatologist or family doctor in a few days you'll notice things clearing up as the medication quite literally burns and eats away at what causes severe acne.


Do you think it's a big deal for an 18 year old girl to go out with a 26 year old guy? Is that too much of an age difference? (link)

It depends on the girl and what her maturity level is. If you can handle yourself, emotions and anything else that may come along in a mature adult manner than there's nothing wrong with dating someone that age as long as they are not in a position of authority or power over you or a co-worker etc.

You are 18-years-old now making you an adult and old enough to make adult decisions and your own decisions. You could legally date anyone the same age or older than you regardless of age at this point.

If you have a good rapport with this guy and both of you think it's worth trying to make work than there's nothing stopping you. Having said that your parents and other adults will likely be against it.

Ideally dating someone closer to your own age is best but if you want to date him and both of you are mature adults than go ahead with it.

Personally, I would stick to guys closer to your age rather than older. That way you will be on par with one another as the world of a 26-year-old is very different from an 18-year-old. But, like I said if you know you can make it work there's not a problem with pursue it as you're an adult as is he legally.


ive ben dating this guy for a long time about a year and one day my boyfriend and my bff were hanging out my bff said go buy us some pizza so i left to get the pizza when i came back with it the door was locked so i went in the back door and when i came in i didnt see then i looked in the hole house ecsep her bedroom so i went in her bedroom an they were both naked having sex.what should i do about my friend and my boyfriend? (link)


That's harsh! You need to tell your soon to be ex-boyfriend to grow up, get a life, it's over and nobody cheats on me and gets away with it or expects to be forgiven.

Next, tell your so-called bff that what she did was ruthless, cold, inexcusable, unforgiveable and downright heartless. More or less hand her her head on a platter and tell them "I hope you'll be happy together as you deserve eachother" and let her know she's not welcome and he's not welcome either.

He's probably cheated on every girl he has ever been with before you and after you and she's probably done this with a host of other friends and guys.

It's a behavior that is repeated in patterns with both of these two and people like them. Tell them that once someone cheats on you they are done.

Then I would get even and let every girl in your grapevine and every guy know just exactly what these two did to you. Once that is out they will be done in by their own actions. He will be 100% undatable and her peers as well as guys will view her as trashy and a tramp which is the nicest words I could use to describe her.

He's going to want to be forgiven and maybe remain with you but it's asking for trouble to let him stay and the same thing with her. Kick them out of your life and move on. Don't cry over him or her as you haven't lost much of anything and you'll see that's the case later.

You deserve a great guy and great girlfriends and I know you'll find each once people know how you were wronged. Trust me, their peers will be as disgusted as you are. They cannot justify it either so you're in a good position to strike back.

Once you've done so be classy and ladylike and don't discuss what happened with anyone or fuel the rumors. It will more than take care of them after you tell one person who tells another.

Definitely make this jerk undatable and expose him as someone who cheated on you with your best friend while you went and fetched their dinner. That info will sink their ship and really make them think as they'll be ostracized for sure. Who would want to know them?




i have this really big bump on my forehead. its been there for like 8 days. its really enormous. i think i hit my head.. but i dont remember on what. but it also became noticable after i had sex for the first time NINE days ago. its turned every color in the rainbow, IN rainbow order! thats like .. roy g biv. :x what the hell is wrong with me?????!!!!!!!!!!?! (link)

We're not doctors and cannot diagnose your problem. However, if you have a bump that size growing on your forehead and it's changing colors get yourself to an emergency room. It doesn't sound right at all and doesn't sound like it's related to sex in any way.

You may have hit yourself but if you did you would remember having done so. Go to an emergency room and get it seen to because it might be something more serious in nature than you ever thought.


I recently got into photography and took in the family's old 35mm Olympus camera. Please note that this is from the 70s and has a rainbow neck strap to match its age. Its all manual and I'm having trouble understanding the F stops and all the depth of field things. If anybody can help me figure out all the different settings on the camera please send me a message at TheBecka.
Any tips appreciated. (link)

They sure are difficult (manual cameras) to say the very least. I had to use them for a photojournalism course and it was murder. I recommend that you buy a photography for dummies (or idiots) book as I remember guidlnes to using the camera, setting F/stops and shutter speed are all covered.

I did manage to scrounge up a few links which may or may not provide guidance here. This link goes into detail about shutter speeds and F/Stops and should help you before it becomes confusing later on http://www.uscoles.com/fstop.htm

This link is a photograph article for young people on aperatures, F Stops and speeds which should be useful http://www.apogeephoto.com/feb2003/Mkees2_2003.shtml

This is supposed to be an idiots link about F stops and shutter speeds and aperatures http://tech.yahoo.com/gd/digital-cameras-aperture-f-stops-and-shutter-speed/153021

Finally, I found this Wikipedia link for you too on F/stops http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F_stops

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shutter_speed


okay this kid named David called me fat. And he wouldnt drop it and he told me i should buy a tredmill and dumb stuff like that, i know im fat but i donno i didnt think it was that big of a deal.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=41915905
thats my myspace and i was wonderingif i really am as ugly as he says.. be truthful please..:( (link)

The huge sunglasses in your profile picture at the link you gave makes it difficult to tell what you look like period. I'm just being honest.

As I scrolled down I saw another photograph of you. Tell this inconsiderate lout to get his eyes checked. You're beautiful inside and out. Besides, people can look like models and celebs on the outside but be coldhearted and awful people on the inside. If you have inner beauty plus outtr beauty you have it made.

This guys just being a jerk and trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let his comments bother you as they're not valid. Interestingly enough, guys and girls say these things to eachother and spar back and forth and it usually turns out all they wanted was your attention negative or good because they had an interest in you.

He could also being saying it to bother you because you're a better student than he is, have talents he wish he had and or are well liked and he isn't. It's no big deal at all and just consider the source of the comments.

Brush it off and go on about your business. When he sees he cannot bother you no matter what he says he'll move on. You can also use humor if he says it again something like "I wouldn't talk it looks like you need a personal trainer yourself." If they see you have a sense of humor and nothing bugs you they'll stop or will laugh and approach you in a civil way in the future.


Okay , me and my boyfriend love eachother sooo much and we're totally commited.Problem is , my parents are spliting up and I have to move to Newfoundland [I live in Ontario now] and we're going to try to stay together.I will be coming to Ontario 1-3 times a year and I'll see him everytime.Okay so also , I'm 13 and he's gonna be 15 in January.He's not a virgin [he did it 1 time that's it] and I am a virgin but I am thinking about doing something like that...please if you're going to lecture me give me an answer to.I want to give him something soo sentimental , but I don't have anymoney.AND if I am going to give him my viginity then it will be cuz I was thinking about it anyways , not just cuz I'm leaving !! THANKSS IN ADVANCE !!!!!!

13/female (link)

When it comes to sex you have to think about a few important things. First of all you can get pregnant. If you got pregnant at 13 what would you, this boy and your family do?

You don't have the education or financial resources or the maturity of someone twice your age to handle that yet. Condoms are not 100% fool-proof either. If you had sex you would need them plus another form of birthcontrol to be safe.

Sex is also about a lasting emotional connection with your partner and is more than a physical act. In the end you want to have it with someone that shares this connection with you and will for some time.

If you had sex with this boy and then moved to another province only seeing him a maximum of three times per year what is to say he wouldn't forget you after another girl comes into his life? You really have to ask yourself is all this worth it?

Sex can wait until you are mentally and physically ready for it later on in life. Don't rush into doing it as you might regret doing it so young and believe me 13 is very young for this when you should have waited to be older and with someone else like your husband or committed partner.

I think what you ought to do is have a farewell dinner (candelit) exchange bracelets with one another or something to that affect and have a romantic evening without the sex and let eachother know how much you meant to eachother.

That should be sentimental enough especially if you do all the cooking and arranging and make it a surprise. You don't need a lot nor any money to do that.

However, if you do decide to have sex be sure to be protected and understand the consequences and accept them before proceeding but yes 13 is in my opinion too young for this.

There's a difference in mentality and maturity between a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old so the fact he was ready at that age may not necessairly mean you are yet. Take things slow as there's lots of time to have sex.

Perhaps if you wait a little longer, mature and you return to Ontario in the future you might be more ready for this than you appear now. I would wait.


I got into a major fight with one of my friends and then all her friends turned againest me, and they were my friends to. I really like them and have said sorry. One of her friends have always hated me to. How can i make them like me, if i don't make up then I know there will be drama next year. How can i stop all this drama and resolve things? (link)

You cannot make them like you as that is always a decision they or anyone makes alone. You can however, stop the drama. You have to stop letting what they say or do bother you. They want a reaction and to see they've got to you.

Don't give them one or anything new they can use to start shit. Ignore them and go about your normal business. If they talk to you be cordial but don't hang around. Once they see that you don't give a shit about what they think or have to say about you and that you aren't giving them more ammunition they'll move on.

Nobody can turn other people against someone else. Those people must have been incredibly weak and followers in order to do what this other person says. They have a mind--they didn't opt to use it and make a choice not to partake knowing this is wrong.

None of these people ever were your friends in the first place. Nothing was ever solid with them even though you might thinks so. As hard as it is don't waste your time with them and move on to people who genuinely like you. Once you do it these bozos will stop bothering you as they have no real cause to continue bullying you then.


okay so basically i like this boy named matt. we always cuddle and hold hands when we're at our friends house but the only problem is theres another girl.. he has been basically in love with this girl kelly for the longest time. matt & i live in new jersey and kelly lives six hours away in a different state. he said he's seen her 5 times in the past 3 years..so nobody really thinks it could work but they both like each other. my best friend megan said he talks & acts different around lauren & i as opposed to other girls so how do i get him to like me more than only a bestfriend? are there suddle things to do? any advice would helpp =) (link)

You cannot make anyone like you more than they like someone else. All you can do is let them know how you feel about them and leave it in their court.

Obviously, cuddling, hand holding, and flirting won't help you here because he sees that as a normal part of your relationship and friendship and will not see it as you trying to get his attention and interest.

I know you want to be subtle here but sometimes subtlety has to fall by the wayside. You need to talk to him when you are alone and mention this other girl who lives six hours away and talk about how that relationship won't work on a romantic level even though they like eachother.

Tell him what Megan said to you about how he acts around her and talks about you. Lay it on the table and ask him whether he wants to be with you or not as you're here beside him when she's not and she's only seen him 5 times during the last year.

He would be dumb not to pursue this unless he's just not ready for a relationship or willing to take a risk. If you want something or in this case someone this much there's only one real option go for it! He won't say no and even if he did the word no won't kill you and at least you'll know where you stand. You've been friends for ages so nothing will change there.


16 f
i Really want to be an actress. but i just dont know where to start. i already paid n agency and they are sending me acting auditions. but most of them arent even for my age! and they are in another state, and we cant travel because we dont have that kind of money.
any advice? like how can i get started what do i do? thanks i rate! (link)

NEVER pay and agent anything to represent you. They are only supposed to make a commission of 10-20% off of work they actually secured for you.

Agents that ask for money upfront to represent you are out to scam you. The fact they say they are sending you on auditions for parts out of state and for roles much older than your own age is a huge red flag and signs they are unreputable. Break off all contact with them and pay them nothing.

If you wrote them cheques or post dated ones put a stop payment on at the bank. The ONLY agents who can charge you anything are background talent agencies who represent extras for TV and film and kids/teen talent agencies because their clients often bail after the first job seeing how tough it is.

What you need to do is get onto the SAG (Screen Actors Guild) web site in America or ACTRA's site in Canada and go through their list of reputable agents and approach them. If you have any trouble finding the list on their sites call their main number and explain what you need.

If an agent is not on their lists beware. The other two biggest scams are agents who demand you take photos through their photographer, demnad a portfolio and say they'll place your photo on the Internet for casting directors to see. It's a scam as no casting director or movie perssonel use the net to find people for their projects.

All you need are basic snapshots or in the case of background work an 8 *10 which can even be your school photo colar laser copied several times. What you need to do is find a background talent agent and become an extra first and figure out if you like the industry or not from that as shoots are often 14-17 hour days.

I have been in a few films and Tv series as an extra my self. You don't need to go out of state but may have to live to a large city as more films are done in a large city than small towns.


When people pay the bills for the computer or internet, do they see the websites you've been on? (link)

No. It's just a list of charges per month that is owed on the account. This is also true of viewing the same bill online. Think about it, if the bill listed EVERYTHING you did online it would be enormous and too huge to get in your mailbox and would waste through a couple of forrests.

All anyone will see on the statement each month is something like this monthly charges $42.95 equipment rental (if the charge for use of the modem) and surcharges if you went over your minutes on dialup or if you have to pay a fee to connect to their dialup access line or something else to that affect.

You're fine. If you are concerned that somebody else would be able to tell where you have been on the Internet all you need to do is use your Web browser's toolbar and hit history and clear when you are done and empty the cache and delete cookies as well.

Having said that, if you are trying to hide adult sites from your parents and other sites meant for people 18-years-old and over you should stop. You can get in a lot of trouble that way from your folks and or for saying you are 18 when you are not because of laws that apply to the operation of those sites. It's not meant for minors but one can empathsize with adolescent curosity.


Hey... I recently subscribed to a particular porn site... unknowing that the trial membership becomes a full membership after 3 days and they bill you like $40... >_<

Anyways, I need help as how to cancel it. I've tried everything and it just won't work. I used a Debit card, and entered it in as a credit card.. I'm not sure if that was a good idea. When I cancel it, it asks me what pay service i used to pay for the account. I didn't use any pay service! I payed right on the site... Bleh.

Anyways, could someone please help me out? The site is (Deleted Don't post link to porn here.)

>_> (link)


If you have entered in debit card information that has given them access to your account and the ability to drain it of funds. What you have to do is talk to your bank and get them to put a stop payment on your account for the name of this company and to warn you of any suspicious activity.

When it comes to a credit card it's pretty much the same situation. You call your credit card company up and tell them that a company you had a free trial with on their web site (you don't have to tell them that it's a porn site-- they wouldn't care) and they're now billing you for tons of things you didn't authorize them to.

Tell them to put in information about an unauthorized payment and fraudulant charges and they'll take care of it. You might even be able to have them change your credit card number. Let this be a lesson to you never to give any online site your credit card or debit info unless it's a well-known corporation, ticket agency or store.


13/F
Ill be 14 on April 3rd
In 5 foot 4 and i weigh 115 pounds

I would love to become a model. Its always been my dream, but i dont know where to start.

i love all of it. Runway, catalogue, anything.

I need to stay proper (im religious) but i dont think that would be an issue for a 13 year old

But no swimsuits or anything

How would i go about getting prepared to do this? How old/tall do i need to be to begin modeling? What to i need to begin going on go-sees to agencys? How should i act once im there? Do i need a portfolio or anything?

How about posture?

Im basically clue-less, so any information would help!

I watch americas next top model, but they are older.

Do you suggest going to barbizon?

i really really want to do this. (link)

You will need an agent to pursue this. Do not sign with Barbizon or any other agency that is not credited with being reputible by the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) or ACTRA in Canada.

If an agent isn't listed on their lists there's a good reason. Do not ever pay for lessons, photos they insist on or to have them put your photo on the Internet for casting directors or those in the entertainment industry looking to hire you for modelling or acting.

Those are two huge scams there. Reputible agents never advetise in newspapers, online or in phone books. What you need to find is a talent agent for kids/teens who specializes in modelling/acting/commercials.

Most of these agents only require snapshots and or an 8*10 (it could even be your school photo) laser copied several times. you don't need fancy photos or a portfolio as you are a beginner.

What I would recommend to you is to hire a background talent agent in a large city close to you. This agent will book you on movie sets and television show sets to be an extra. You'll really get a feel for the entertainment agency this way and see if acting and modelling is really what you want to pursue.

I've been on several movie sets with well-known stars as an extra including Man of The Year (Robin Williams, Christopher Walken), Hairspray, Blues Brothers 2000, Dresden Files, Long Kiss Goodnight. Work is abundant as an extra.


Hey well i have kissed befor and all that crap but i have never like literally mad out so to speak. like i dont know what to do or what a guy would like me to do. What would you sudgest?
Thanks in advance! (link)

Try communicating with him about this and let him know you are inexperienced. It won't matter to him as most guys enjoy teaching girls and vice-versa girls with guys the ropes when it comes to this. It's a fun experience and great practic. Just relax it will all turn out fine once you tell him and talk about it.


hi im 13 1/2, and some guys talk to me alot and always compliment my eyes and all,
and in general how do you know if a guys is intrested in you?
thanks :] (link)

This is pretty much the classic tell-tale signs a guy is interested in you and vice-versa when it happens to males. Trust me, guys just don't spend any time complimenting female classmates unless they are interested. They've laid the bait for you and hope you'll notice them.

You have it pretty good here if there's more than one person who is doing this. What you need to do now is figure out who you are a match with by inviting these guys on group dates, activities, parties and to hang out and observe their behavior and characteristics.

If there's a dance coming up tell one of them or all that you're saving dances for them. You have to show them you've noticed the flirting and after that the ball is in your court. Don't make them wait too long for this as guys and girls at this stage flirt and then move on if nobody responds.


Three different people in my grade told me that I have a reputation of being a bitch. When I told my friends this they were like you are def. not a bitch.. but when you get mad you get really mad. Which is true like I get really mean when I am mad at someone. Anyway, I don't want the reputation of a bitch cause I'm not and I don't want to be and I don't try to be. How can I not have that reputation anymore? (link)

Consider the source of these comments. The people who made them don't know you and are not your friends. In little under three years you won't even know half of them.

Considering they don't know you don't let their comments bother you. Its like them calling you an oompa loompa. Obviously you are neither an oompa loompa or a bitch. Laugh it off and go on with your business and friends as all these people want is to get a reaction out of you.

Don't give it to them as their comments are powerless to do anything to you unless you react and let it bother you. These people may just be jealous of your talents, intelligence, athleticism, the fact others like you etc. Yopu probably have everything they feel they lack and or want.

Show these people some love as that's what they need and turn the other cheek and ignore it. In the mean time see your parents, teacher and or guidance counselor to work on your anger as that will help you in the future.

As far as your reputation goes continue to be who you are and treat everyone whether friend or foe equally nice. Nobody could mistake you for a bitch then.

You only have a reputaion with a select few who don't matter and cannot change your repuation. Most people are smart enough not to listen or be swayed by people like this or rumor and will develop their own opinion of you by getting to know you or not.


I cut myself.
I'm currently in therapy and getting help.
My parents don't know about it.
They don't need to know about my cutting. I'm getting help. And I'd really rather they never found out.

If anyone has ideas on how to hide the cuts, please tell me. (link)

You may be able to hide the cuts but you cannot hide your problem from them forever. They are responsible for your well-being and need to know that you were cutting, the reasons why and that you are working on it with your therapist.

If they notice the scars from the cuts which will happen eventually or if another adult or your friend brings it to their attention before you tell the truth they'll be angrier still. You need to admit to them what has been going on and that you told your therapist and are getting help.

You really need their support as this is a meantl health issue that just cannot be hidden. I wouldn't try to hid the cuts from mom and dad or the real problem as there's secrets we should keep and this sin't one of them.

They may be upset at first but they'll support you and help you even further when it comes to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. Hide the cuts from the view of others but not thew problem from people like your family who can help.

I know you don't want them to find out but they need to. It's the only way to get well as this type of mental issue is always telling you to hide the truth from those who want to help and can. You need them and their support here. It's a hell of a burden for you to tackle with a therapist on your own.


This is probably a bit of a weird question but I just wanna know. I am 17/f and have slept with three guys. I've been in relationships with all of them (all 3 of them were virgins before me) and I didn't personally regret it until a few weeks ago, when I was telling my friends how many people I slept with and they were shocked, and said I should regret it. Well, should I? Should I not sleep with any more guys, or maybe wait a while before sleeping with the 3rd guy (my current bf) again? (We've only had sex twice and both times we were pretty drunk, we've been together 2 months.) This might seem stupid but it's something that has been bothering me a lot recently. Btw, I've always used protection too, and would never have sex without it.

.xo (link)

You are the antithesis of the word slut. You were in three different relationships and commited to each person. You decided to have sex in each relationship and that's fine.

You were also responsible and have not been sleeping around or with random people. It's nobody's business to even know let pass judgment on your sex life. You shouldn't care what they think. Having three partners and commited relationships with each is fine.

If you had sex with 10+ partners all of them random then I could understand their reactions. The amount of partners you have had is small number and not to worry over.

My advice to you is to never mix sex with booze. That's one of two mistakes not to repeat. It always leads to disaster or unwanted pregnancy etc. etc.

The second mistake never to make is to tell friends or anyone else about your sex life unless you want them passing comment on it and branding you.

Keep it personal and close to your vest is a good rule of thumb now that you have seen what happens. Your friends are probably all virgins and may not have had relationships, maturity especially and commited relationship experiences you have had so they think the fact you slept with three people is HUGE when it's not.

Should you have sex with your boyfriend again? That's not for me to decide. As long as you are safe, committed etc and the situation is right it's fine. Only you can figure out if you are comfortable with it.

Talk to your partner about your concerns and above all don't let anyone else comment or try to make your decisions for you when it comes to sex.

Keep your friends from getting their nose in this area of your life by applying the "what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom" motto. Next time your friends ask about your sex life tell them "I don't kiss and tell."




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