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well,i have this problem that im mad shy and its ruining everything.I need help overcoming it and how do you start by making freinds with someone?I have alot of freinds but like,in the beginning of theschool year,how do I start it the freindship!?HOW DO I OVERCOME SHYNESS!!i need help on this,ive been in situations where im with even my own family and they all talk and i just sit there,smile and look pretty lol HELP! (link)

What helps sometimes is to think of the person you want to be friends with or talk to as if they were a close family member like your mom or dad or brother or sister and just talk to them like you would your family members. It's no different at all.

When you are talking to someone new visualize the person as needing to hear what you have to say and pretend that their life or whatever hinges on your every word. That's another good technique.

I also like to look people directly in the eyes and talk to them and that goes easier. You also have to know that there is nothing to fear nobody will attack you, tell you to shut up or worse for you just talking to them and that everyone needs friends.

Go in thinking that you're likeable, loveable, friendly and have all the qualities people need in a friend and a whole lot more and that they've been dying to meet someone like yourself. The only difference between you and them is that they believe this about themselves and you don't. Once you start believing it it's second nature and your guard goes down.

The situation with your family is a great one. It allows you to practice the techniques I told you about above. pay attention to what they talk about and just jump in with them. They won't judge you and you'll get used to talking to other people.

Ask for help practicing normal conversation with others. They'll give it to you and tell you what you can do to improve. I would also talk to your guidance counselor and mention your fears and shyness with others and work on social skills, coping skills and other ways to make friends, keep 'em etc as they definitely have a lot of tips.

Instead of sitting looking pretty and smiling force yourself to jump in there and talk. If you keep doing it and you see your own family responding positively to you you'll be able to do it everywhere. You don't have any less skills or likability than anyone else.

You'll thrive--but first you must believe in yourself to sell yourself to others. These tips should help you as it's from my own experience. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone something if I didn't experience it myself.

Ok well you know how vagina is supposed to look like? (I can't find oen of those sketches on the internet right now..)

Well I'm 13 and i got my period 3 years ago and i'm thinking of wearing a tampon but i tried looking for it and even looked at it with the mirror but it's closed and there's no huge hole!

Looks very similar to this picture I found:

What do i do?

Is that person's vagina there in the picture? If so, where? Can you circle it or something for me with paint so i know?

If you tell me clearly that'll work too. (link)

The link you gave us just doesn't work so we cannot help with the picture. However, there is another reason you may be having a hard time locating the vaginal opening. Your hymen sounds like it's still intact and not stretched. It partially protects the vaginal opening and around it.

You should have a look at this article and medical diagram as it clearly shows where the opening is and how it looks if your hymen is intact still which it sounds like.

when i perform oral sex on my boyfriend, what can i do to make him cum faster or make it better for him. usually it takes a while and im not sure if im doing something wrong. and once he does cum what can i do so that it doesnt make a mess everywhere without having to swallow? (link)

You really need to talk to him before and stop during to find out what he likes the most and follow his directions the first time so you can figure out the pattern to perform that gets him to climax quicker. He knows male genitals better than you do and what he responds to. Ask him to guide you next time.

Also, sometimes because a guy is nervous, embarassed or stressed etc. about this it takes him longer to climax or he may not climax at alll. It can be a psychological thing and a hang up.

There's two thing you can do so as not to swallow or to have to clean up the byproduct of his orgasm. You can get flavored condoms and make him wear one (it won't affect his pleasure even if he says it will) or you can ask him to tap you when he's close to ejaculating so that you can have a rag, a wet cloth or kleenex to catch it in.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We have done everything sexual except anal sex. He has always wanted to try it but from my friends experiences I'd rather not. Recently I have been thinking about it and i kind of wanted to try it but I don't know how bad it will hurt. Can anyone share there experiences or thoughts to help me decide? (link)

If you are not comfortable with doing it don't do it and tell him why and that it won't change. Guys tend to like this form of sex because the spinchter muscle clamps down on their penis and it's really tight as opposed to a vagina or so I hear a lot.

It can hurt very badly and most people have painful experiences with it. It's high risk sexual behavior and you have a higher increase for STDS including AIDS. The biggest problem is that the anus was meant for one purpose only and not for sex.

The walls of your anus if they aren't paper thin are pretty damn close and so very easy to tear especially if he's vigorous during thrusting or penetration . You need condoms for sure and lots of artificial lubrication for this and a patient partner who knows that the words no, stop, it hurts etc. means to stop right then.

If it were me, I wouldn't do it at all. However, it's your choice to make here but if you feel grossed out by it or fearful or not wanting to do it don't. You owe him absolutely nothing. He's a big boy and can deal with being told no. It's also your body and your anus that can get hurt here and not his.

Here's an article that answers a lot of your questions and tells you about the things you are susceptible to.

so i hooked up with my friend over the weekend. and now all he wants to do is hook up. and we got in this fight yesterday. i found out today he was like "ef her" and saying all these bad things about me to my friends and trying to get them to be on his side. i want to hook up but after what he said, i don't know if I should. i just want to hook up for fun, nothing serious. what should i do? should i or should i not? (link)

Why would you want to provide certain romantic favors to a guy who used you from the sounds of it and is bad mouthing you to everyone you or he knows saying things such as "F-- her" ?

You need to be wise and act wise here and don't have anything more to do with him or hook up. You've seen his true colors and he's looking to use you for his own gratification and nothing else and tear you down in front of others afterwards. He's not worthy.

Don't do it period with him. You'll regret it and why in the world would you want to with someone who is saying and doing bad things about you? I'm sure you value your ownself more than that. hooking up again would make him and others think he can say and do anything to you and get away with it.

If he comes asking to hook up tell him simply and with tact that you don't hook up with guys who bad mouth you to their friends and to your friends. He needs to be taught a lesson on how to behave and you my friend have to be the one to do it unfortunately. He's a pig in my opinion. That's a serious insult though to a very intelligent animal.

hey i am guy. i like this girl and so does my best friend. Ill give you the full story . me and my friend are good friends with her. hes slightly more with her and he really likes her... he wanted to make out with her but he didnt in a spin-the-bottle game....anyway, i made out with someone then. hes really protective of her, but hes shy around her. ill give u an example.. one of his other friends, a guy, was coming to stay at his house from a different town, hes like a real jock and had been talking to her on msn too. my friend told him not to make out with her. also recently hes been saying every girl i ever was close to was really hot and we should get back 2gether again. i think hes trying to put me off this girl? anyway we r both single, wel im kind of, so i think he doesnt want me to make out with her. i kind of do though thats the problem. hes a real good friend though. (link)

What it all boils down to here is that the girl ultimately is the one to decide who she likes. So, why not leave it to her? Let her know that your friend is really shy and protective of her and really wants to be the guy she goes for.

Point out how you also feel about her and that you sense she has no attraction to your friend in a romantic way. Tell her that you don't want to lose your friend but could she please indicate her preference in a way that won't hurt anyone?

Your friend won't be so crushed if she goes for you now. It's stupid to both like her and have no idea what she's even thinking. Maybe she doesn't like either of you or wants to be with you or him. Let the girl decide by laying it all out for her and that both you and your friend like her and it's a problem.

Until she tells you both where you stand it's going to get really awkward around her. Your friend if he likes her has no right to try to prevent other guys from talking to or dating her if he's not up to stepping up to the plate and making his intentions known to her. She's fair game. If you're real friends no girl will come between you.

Try handling it the way I mentioned and have her approach him and say I'm dating your friend X but I really like you a lot and value our friendship but I don't like you in that manner. This way there's really no hardship between people.

well, i'm 15 and i'm definitely not having sex before marriage. me and bf are sure of that and are strong with our beliefs.
but for me, i'm little lost on some things. i would just like to be a little bit smarter with the subject.

1st - is ejaculation (for both guys and girls)good or bad? is it gross? does it get on anything?

2nd - what are orgasms for? what do they do? why do people always ask about them?

3rd - what is "popping the cherry"? is it bad? is it something to watch out for? does it hurt?

4th - and when i am married i'm a little afraid to have sex because a lot of people say it can and can't hurt and girls can always can get pregnant. is there anything to really be afraid of? what is there to really watch out for?

5th - how well do condoms work? would condoms work everytime we would have sex?

thanx for answering... (link)
1) For males ejaculation is when they release semen. It's a good thing as it generally happens after/during an orgasm and needs to happen in order for sperm to meet the egg during intercourse to lead to conception. The only time it's bad is if you're having sex without protection as you can get pregnant.

In females they don't ejaculate like males but rather release vaginal secretions and lubrication. They can however have G-Spot orgasms which are very elusive (only happens if it's hit during sex, fingering, masturbation) and she can squirt or release fluid that can be up to 1 litre in some instances.

Obviously, it feels good for both sexes and yes it can get on things and be messy especially in the last instance.


2) Well for a female and for a male an orgasm is where your pubic region and other muscles in your body tighten up during sex, fingering, masturbation and release in pleasurable little ripples. See above for G-Spot orgasm.

People typically ask about them if they are inexperienced with sex, fingering masturbation or to confirm their suspicions that
they had one or to gain a sense of why they never have had one.

3) Ive been answering this one a lot. Your Hhmen also known as the cherry doesn't pop. It stretches and in some cases tears because of sex, fingering, masturbation or usually more often than not tampon usage. Read this article for more as it explains it eloquently and gives a medical diagram of it.

It can hurt but some people don't even notice it stretched. It can also be accompanied with spots of blood in one's underwear when it has occured. The hymen is a mucous membrane that partially covers and protects the vaginal opening. SEE THIS LINK :

4) make sure you have sex with someone you love and trust deeply if not waiting for marraige. Does it hurt? It can for girls the first time. The way to help make it so it doesn't is to make sure the girl is properly lubricated so insertion, penetrate go smoothly and there's no friction or pain from thrusting.

5) I'm not sure the percentage on condoms but they will protect you well from STDS and pregnancy if used correctly. Be sure to read the directions. You should also have a backup birthcontrol method to go along with condoms as their not 100% fool proof.
Instead of birthcontrol pills that must be taken daily and not missed at the exact same time I recommend looking into NuVa Ring which is a birthcontrol ring that goes into the vagina. Try a Google search for info on that.

okay, you know that little Madeline Mccann girl that's gone missing? i could of SWORN i saw her, just outside of this plaza.. but her hair was DARK.. i'm sure it was a disguise or something, but i'm dead serious. i was with my mom in the car and i told her that i think i saw her and so she could move the car back a little bit, and i saw 'her' and this guy (he looked mexican or something like that) and all of the physical features named on the myspace page.. i'm really serious, what the heck should i do? i'm really scared lol.. sorry that this is the dumbest question ever. (link)

It may in fact be the smartest question you ever asked if in fact it is her. The liklihood of that is usually slim. There's a lot of little girls who can look like McCann and a lot of people who are innocent and average folk Mexican or otherwise that fit the profile of a suspect or person of interest.

Having said that you have a moral and ethical responsibility to phone in the discription of the girl and who she was with, what she was wearing and where you saw both of them. It's true the missing girl could have dyed hair etc. and could be with anyone.

You should phone it in to 1-800-CRIME-TV and talk with the staff at America's Most Wanted. Even if this turns out as a false lead you will at least have a clear conscience for doing the right thing. Then again, if your tip was right on the money and lead to a happy ending or capture you would feel even better.

Imagine if you didn't report it and it turned out that was them? Call with your parents on the line and tell them what you both thought you saw. it could save a life.

On the other hand (and this IS NOT true of you) for anyone who might think of putting in a false tip to the police or call someone at AMW with a tip and you know the info is false and just doing it for whatever reason don't bother.

You're wasting your time and their's and it's also punishable. Just thought I would put that there. I know what you saw is legit so do indeed phone it in. I'm just trying to discourage any other readers or kids from that. Covering the bases so to speak.

my friends are starting to get so bitchy and i cant handle it. like i have problems of my own to deal with this. how do i deal with it like what do i say. my friend has been acting so mean to me and my other friend thinks theres something wrong. how do i control myself and ask her nicely whats worng? (link)

In this case asking her who urinated on her conflakes this morning won't work Seriously, all you have to do is approach her when you can both be alone and ask her "Did I offend you with something I said or did recently?"

Wait for her response and then talk things out with eachother. You might want to wait a few days before approaching her. Maybe whatever it is that has her being nasty with you will blow over on its own and she'll return to normal.

There's a chance her problem may not be related to you completely. There could be something else you don't know about that is upsetting her and she's taking things out on people around her for reasons nobody understands.

Wait a day or two and then appproach her, ask if you can talk together and resolve it in the way I suggested above. if you're real friends you can work through anything.

to get to the point i wanna have sex with this dude, itll be my first time im ready and all. i've thought it through but the only thing thats holding me back is i got these ugly stretch marks on my stomach and i guess im embarrassed by them i dont want him to see them. what can i do to get over this? (link)

Believe me on this one he's just as nervous and scared as you are if not more. He's worried about his own body and how he looks all over incuding penis size etc to be worried about whether you have stretch marks or not. It's the last thing he would ever think of worrying about.

Trust me, I know as that's the last thing I as a guy was thinking about the first time out. Guys his age are just happy to be having the experience and are not thinking about anything other than them disappointing you etc.

It won't matter at all to him about the stretch marks. People get them and it's fine and normal. He obviously wants to be with you and the relationship is solid. A couple of marks on your stomach are not going to have him heading for the hills.

What you should do is talk to him about sex and his expectations and yours and plan the event straight down to condoms, a backup birthcontrol method and talk about each of your worries, hang ups etc and laugh about it as sex is pretty funny when you think about it.

Mention the stretch marks to him (do it, seriously) and you'll see it's not an issue as he'll likely bring up stuff about his own body that he's insecure over. Not every girl looks like a Playbody model and he knows that. A couple of stretch marks is a non-issue.

Like I said, he's going to feel pretty overwhelmed himself and like most guys his age happy for the experience and that any girl would want to do this with him.

My boyfriend has fingered me nearly 15 times now and I've not once reached an orgasm yet. I get to the point where my heart is beating very fast, I have some small muscle spasms, and little things like that. However, I've never had a full out orgasm and I was wondering why I'm having a hard time reaching it? (link)

You have had an orgasm if your heart raced and it was combined by little ripples and muscle spasms. That's more or less a conventional orgasm. It can sometimes feel more intense than that depending on how your gentials are being stimulated with.

I'm reading between the lines but I have a feeling you're striving for something earth shattering here. It doesn't always happen like it does in certain movies etc. In real life the G-Spot orgasm is extremely elusive for women and usually only occurs if it's accidentally hit during intercourse, fingering, masturbation.

In that case the orgasm fluid squirts etc. and in some cases a litre of fluid is released. If you read this clincial/medical article with a medical book diagram on the G-Spot you might find yourself having more luck.

The key with any kind of orgasm is to relax, do what you like and is normal for you and stop putting pressure on yourself to have one as that will hinder not help you.

me and my friend sent this realyl close guy friend of ours pictures of our vag and asses and she sent boobs too.. just for pleasure and fun i dont find it wrong but w.e but anyways idk how someone else saw them yeah i was pissed but i got over it.. but then there was a rumer that i had a funny looking vag.. like why is that this is why im self consciens of my vagina beacuse i feeel like there is something that looks abnormal or something .. help please (link)

Vaginas all look different and come in different sizes, shapes and even the pigment of the skin on the genitals can look different too. There's nothing to feel embarassed about as not everyone's looks the same or like the medical diagrams. You're perfectly fine.

If i were you I would learn from this experience and never send any pictures of private parts etc. to people again as once they are out of your hands they can be sent to just about anyone.

As far as rumors go take it in stride and don't acknowledge it or show any reaction at all to guys or girls mentioning it. It will soon die out as people move on to easier targets to bully or make fun of.

If anyone approaches you about it just say "So, and so's pretty perverted their's no telling who's vagina that is or what magazine/video he took it from." Show a sense of humor about it too and like it doesn't at all bother you. But don't react.

There's no such thing as a weird or funny looking vagina. Know that and you should be able to deal with this just fine.

The other thing too that you need to know is that it's not legal at your age to send those kind of photos to someone else or recieve them in the case of someone accidentally opening them who was a child or another adult they would have a lot of explaining to do to law enforcement or others as having pictures of girl's gentials who are minors could be viewed as illegal.

i have 2 days left of school. and i need to tell this person, that i miss are friendship. we were on some bad terms, because of me. i feel weird going up to them and saying, hey i miss talking to you. what can i do? i need help. badly. (link)

Sending a person a note or an e-mail is a bad idea. It doesn't come across as looking sincere as anyone can write what someone else wants to hear and send it off. Also, it's a very bad idea incase this person is really mad and shows it around to others mocking you for writing it.

That's an extreme case but I have seen it happen many times before with people I knew. You need to follow the advice of the poster who said to pull the person aside, tell them you miss them and want to resolve the issue between you.

If the person won't consent to that or wants nothing more to do with you accept it, don't plead, beg etc. but move on as quite often they'll come back to a person and give them a chance to state their piece if you give them room to.

It's often shocking if you haven't spoken for so long for the other person to be getting an olive branch. Don't be surrised if they aren't sure how to react to you extending one.

But extend it you must and by approaching them in person. There's no other way to properly deal with this. It's people who cannot deal with turmoil and upset who turn to letters and e-mails, pleading etc to back out of a face-to-face talk which is the only thing that will solve issues like this.

Anyone can write a note or e-mail it's face-to-face sincerity and hashing things out that works. I hope it goes well for you but in the event it's over it's not your fault completely because you cannot control what happens and maybe they're scared of being hurt again.

hey im a guy,13, and when i touch the top of my penis, which is pink, it hurts like a bad tickle. its really bad when its dry. i cant rub my fingers on it. (link)
I cannot say with absolutely certainty what is causing this problem. However, if it's irritated, raw and hurt when touched or has scabs or anything flaking it's because of you not washing the area and masturbating frequently and letting semen dry which is acidic on it.
I know as I've seen it happen myself.

I would recommend more showers or at least cleaning yourself with soap and water afterward and see what happens. Don't have any sexual activity inclusive of masturbation until you get this checked out.

You should also read the following link

You should see your family doctor if my hunch doesn't pan out. If you are sexually active the problem could be related to that. If it's still an issue after a few days definitely see your doctor.

ok im 14/f and im in end of 8th grade..well the big problem is i met this 6th grader in the middle of school year and im not gonna lie his totally hot! The thing is uh is it ok to go out with a younger guy? Cause I think he likes me back because well today one of my good friends who never met this boy was walking with the guy passed by and said hi and what not and after he leftshes like ooooooooooooooh he likes you..i dont know why she would think that but i like it. Why do you think she said that? Was is because of his reactions or his expressision.I really hope this is true. Sorry its long but please help..
TL4PL (link)

The only trouble with dating a sixth grader is in whether or not he's as mature as you are. Girls mature much faster than boys and while you may be acting like a 14/15-year-old teenager he may be 12/13 but acting like a 9-year-old who still sleeps in Spider-Man underwear and plays with action figures.

As long as you are on par with your maturity levels and know you want a serious relationship a.k.a (a real one that lasts) and your parents are okay with this as are his then pursue it. Yes, you'll get flack from your peers but trust your own gut and your heart on what the right thing to do here is.

Your friend has sensed for one reason or another that he likes you. This is a good sign if it's true. Short of asking him out yourself or asking him if he feels the same try inviting him to a party, group dates or just to hang out. You'll have to ask your friend how she sensed all of this as nobody here could accurately tell you because we don't know her or how she thinks.

You can tell if he's in to you based on whether he refuses or has some lame excuse. If he comes along and you hit it off as friends first (which is always best to do first if you can) see what you both think of dating. If you want him you have to now go after him as he's likely just as shy as you are about making his intentions known.

alright, so my boyfriend & me have been going out for like a month or so. and today i realized i dont really like him that much. today was also the first time we kissed. but after we did,i just..didnt feel anything for him anymore. what should i do? if i break up with him everyone will be mad at me, if i dont i'll be stuck with him. i dont know what to do! i mean hes really shy and i think its the first time he kissed a girl and i dont want him too feel like i broke up with him because of that, its just i havent liked him that much for like these past 4 days & i dont know what to do,i feel really horrible. help?! (link)

It's never about whether people will be angry at you or not for a decision that was right for you. They aren't dating him but you are. Nobody else has the right to give you any grief for either dating, not dating or breaking up with someone else. It's you love life and not their's.

Instead of hurting this guy you need to end it now if you have no physical or emotional attachment and or attraction to him at all. Tell him that you really do like him but feel that you would be better off as close friends rather than lovers.

He might beupset at first but should understand. Let him know you are telling him this now so as not to cause him pain later. If it really matters point out that it has nothing to do with his shyness or experience with girls. Let him know you want to stay friends but just don't feel a relationship is working.

You have to tell the truth to him as hard as it may be for you do as it's the only right and correct way to do things. You don't want to hurt him nor do you both want to be miserable in a relationship that's not going anywhere fast.

when your cherry pops does it hurt? and this is a retarded question but does sex hurt? (link)

I've answered this question a lot lately but it's a legitimate question and I wanted you to get a solid answer that would help you understand what the hymen (a.k.a) cherry is and how it functions.

The first thing you need to know is that nothing pops. The hymen which is a mucous membrane that partially surrounds and protects the vaginal opening.

What happens is that the hymen gets stretched and in some cases a bit torn either through masturbation, tampon usage (which is the main reason these days) and of course sexual intercourse.

It can feel uncomfortable for some girls when it happens and can be accompanied by a bit of blood. However, many girls also exist who never noticed it happened until looking at their genitals some time after.

Here's a link that explains what the hymen does and why, how it gets stretched and how to know what it looks like. It's a Wikipedia article that is clinicial in the way its written, not graphic etc. and has a text-book only medical diagram. Just so the mods. know.

Does sex hurt? Well it shouldn't. It can however, be uncomfortable for girls because of the thrusting and friction if they are not properly lubricated before/during penetration and the actual act of intercourse.

Some girls produce the right amount of lubrication for sex naturally and for others an artifical lubricant that can be used with condoms will help ease discomfort. From my experience it does for the girl I was with in the past.

ok so there was only one time that i was able to ejaculate during an orgasm. now my boyfriend thinks that everytime we have sex i should be able to have a female ejaculation and i try really hard to but i end up peeing which is really embarassing and gross because i dont want to pee all over him. why can't i ejaculate anymore? (link)

Putting pressure on yourself and telling yourself you must have an orgasm to please somebody else won't help you have one at all. It has the opposite effect. Orgasms like the one you hope to experience again just occur naturally.

What happened last time is that he hit your G-Spot and that brought forth the fluid you squirted. This kind of orgasm is very elusive for women as it's not easy to hit the G-Spot through sex or masturbation even.

You need to tell him that and both of you need to read this article about the G-Spot, how that kind of orgasm happens, etc etc. and what it takes to experience it and tell him to stop putting pressure on you because it's not something you can just do on demand or at the drop of a hat. is the article. Usually, it can only be stimulated if stroked or hit during intercourse.

I currlently have dial up...which is REALLY slow, I want to go to DSL, but I do not know what is best for me. I do a lot of surfing on the net, and download music, whats best for me? (link)

'Nough said as far I'm concerned for American Internet Services. If in Canada Sympatico is the best Internet service going for High Speed and their customer service is second to none. 310-Surf is their number in Canada for all area codes.

Avoid getting high-speed Internet from the cable companies as its always subpar and conks out especially on Rogers in Canada and Comcast in Canada.

If you call these services up and explain exactly what you want to do they'll offer you a variety of options and prices and tailor things to what you and your family needs.

I recommend packages that are Ultra or top of the line most expensive in what they provides as those packages let you do everything and give you 10 or so e-mail addresses for everyone.

I've read computer hackers feel that Sympatico in Canada and Verizon in the U.S. are the most secure Internet services out there and difficult to hack so you're better off there on those from my point of view.

What exactly does an orgasm consist of (or what is it defined as) for girls? I know I have felt so much pleasure that I shaked uncontrolablly for a few seconds, but nothing has ever "squirted" out. Please help me clear this up. Thank you! (link)

Looks like you have had an orgasm based on you shaking, feeling pleasure, mucles and body tightening and then releasing (usually in ripples). As far as squirting it doesn't happen a lot or to a lot of women.

Usually, it only occures if the G-spot has been found and hit during intercourse or masturbation. What you should see though is the normal lubcribation present in sex or masturbation.

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