I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
Visitors: 23375
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If you aren't experianced I don't know if you want to read this.
My bf and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months and have been sexual active together for about 4 months.
Well he came over last night and we were fooling around and started having sex. Everything was going fine but then he started getting rough. It was getting to be wayyy too much for me so I told him to not be so hard. He didn't listen and just kept at it.
It got bad enough for me to where I broke out in tears and he still didn't slow down.
When he was about to finish off he took it out and cummed all over me adn my sheets. I usually don't have a problem with that but when we were done (or when he was done anyways) he wouldn't let me clean up. I wanted to take a shower so bad but he wouldn't let me. We just layed there and slept which was very uncomfortable for me because it was gross and sticky.
Now I don't know if I can be comfortable around him. He's never done anythign like this before. he always used to listen while we were in bed adn never went too fast or hard. I don't know what got over him. What should I do? 18/f (link)
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If you don't know if you can be comfortable around him (and bloody rightly so in my opinion) get rid of him. I'm sorry but there is no excuse in the world for what he did-anyone who cares about you would stop if he saw you in pain and definately when you told him to. Fair enough guys can be clumsy creatures especially in bed but ignoring your tears and not letting you wash, for christ sake, is controlling and cruel.
To be honest this sounds like the tip of a pretty nasty iceberg. If he thinks he has the right to do what he wants to you just four months in to a sexual relationship what's he going to be like in 4 years?
Talk to him about it if you like but even just from what you've said here I really advise you to get out now before it goes too far.
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18/f. I have a very close guy-friend. Occasionally when he comes over to mine (or I go to his), and he (or I) can't get home (e.g. he comes to my place on his bike, I don't like him to ride home at 3am, it's not too safe around here) then he stays over. He'll sleep in my (single) bed, and we usually end up snuggled up to close each other (e.g. both lying on our sides facing the same way with his arm around me).
My question is - is this ok for our relationship? - I don't want to date him, I don't want our friendship to turn into something further. We are both single. Is it ok to sleep together like this, or will it damage our friendship in the long run? (link)
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Well look if you both know you're just friends, you're both comfortable with it and you're both single it's not a problem. The fact that you're questioning it maybe means you're not one of those things?
The only thing I'd say is that when one of you gets a partner things are going to have to change and how well you both take that is a measure of what it meant to you both in the first place. If you're honest with yourself would you be jealous of a girlfriend he had and would you resent the fact you guys could no longer be that close? If yes perhaps you should think about whether friendship really is the only thing that you want from this guy.
On one hand the fact you guys can do this makes it sound to me like there's attraction there, on the other since it's not a regular thing (i.e.: i assume neither of you make excuses to stay over?) perhaps it really is platonic in which case you've got something very special.
You're old enough to make your own judgement about things like this so make a list of all the possibilities and consequences then chuck it out the window and follow your gut.
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I'm 13 and about to audition for a musical. We're supposed to prepare a song and a monologue. I've gone through an array of broadway songs. Finally, I listened to "Wishing You Were Somehow Hear Again" from the Phantom of the Opera. It's beautiful! But before I get the sheet music, I need to know; is it a difficult piece? Vocally demanding? I'm in a very advanced chorus, which means that I can sing a lot, but there's no real way of telling whether this song is too overreaching or not just by listening, you know? If anyone has had any experience with this piece, could I have a few tips?
And PLEASE do not say "go see a vocal teacher/go take a voice lesson/idk lol hope i helped." Even though I'm in an advanced chorus, I can't afford a voice lesson. I know that puts me at a disadvantage, but that's JUST LIFE.
(link)
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generally speaking I wouldn't go for a Phantom song at 13. Unless you have an exceptional sop voice(and i mean exceptional) it will take you a long time to train your voice to this style especially without help and yes it will be very demanding.
Also if you're auditioning for a musical go with a more traditional musical number. Phantom is an oddity in that, as its name suggests, it is a strange half-bredd of modern day musical and popular opera.
Some great musicals for songs are West Side Story(for pretty girly songs to suit your range), Chicago (for big, sexy, character-based songs), Les Mis (some nice brooding lower songs from Eponine and Fantine) or Chess' I Know Him So Well if you can work it into a solo (shouldn't be too hard) or even Losing My Mind from Follies for a nice confused, intense number you can act your little heart out to. All depends on the musical and part you're auditioning for. Gve me a note on my column if you want to be more specific and I'll do my best to think of some good numbers to suit what you're doing.
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I'm in this advanced choir. There's this new girl who just joined. She's 13, like me, only she's a grade ahead of me (I'm a 7th grader). I have to admit, she's pretty good. Everyone knows that she's got this beautiful high voice, a little like Sarah Brightman's. She's a bitch! She's always flaunting her voice. During camp, we all had to watch this documentary on opera, and she goes "I bet I could sing opera..." Jesus! She's only 13, right?!!!! She had to share a bunk with me. She's was a disgusting bunk mate. She was always spilling her milk all over my papers, bringing food into the dorm, not eating it, and soon there would be moldy peaches everywhere. She can NEVER stop talking about herself. It's always me, me, me, me, me, my voice, my hair, and my boyfriend. Once she was talking about herself and says "my friend and I were watching the Phantom of the Opera and I could sing that really high note at the end of the song 'The Phantom of the Opera.' " She sings the note and asks "Can you sing it?" So I tried, and of course I couldn't, because I'm not even a soprano, and she goes "ha-ha! i can sing the high E and you're all strained up. That's hilarious..." and goes off into another monologue about herself. Now I have to sit on the risers right next to her, and she's getting worse. She's also a brownnoser. She's always sucking up to our choir teacher, and so on...what can I do to put up with her? I don't want anyone to say "talk to her about it." It's not like she's my friend or anything. (link)
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Been there, done that, got the entire souvenir line. Are you involved in classical singing? They're the worst. If you continue in the singing business (or any performance work) you are going to come across people like this time and time again and if you're not careful they will chip away at your sanity piece by piece.
Some things to take comfort from:
1) If she sounds like Sarah Brightman, pity her for two reasons. For one thing Sarah Brightman does not have a nice voice. Sorry. She has a large range but the quality of her tone has me running for the hills. For the other she is unlikely to make a cvery big mark anywhere the singing world if she sounds like someone that's been heard before. She would need to be distinctive and fairly incomparable to make a splash.
2)Spend as little time with her as humanly possible. If she brags in your company try not to let her see your annoyance- your bordem will insult her more. Depending on your personality you can act vague and dreamy as though you are not listening to a word she's saying or vaguely distainful. (I find the later a lot more fun)
3) She is probably pretty insecure at heart. People who find it necessary to go around bragging about themselves are generally looking for approval from others to confirm they are worthy people. From your brownnoser comment this seems likely.
If she tries to involve you in these petty "I-can-sing-higher-than-thou" competitions again refuse to be drawn in. Tell her she knows perfectly well you are not a soprano and enquire why she hasn't been taught that your ability is not defined by your range(for some reason it's mainly sops that think this- you never hear tenors or altos competing over who can hold the lowest note).
If all else fails offer her choclate and fizzy drinks before a performance and watch her voice crack and thicken *evil grin*
Best of luck, I feel your pain.
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My bestfriend and her boyfriend have been together for about 4 months now. Problem is: he says he likes me! And I'm kind of into him too! I don't know what to do, thats like my bestfriend. I sure don't want to ruin our friendship but oh my goodness I am really into this boy! (link)
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"Nonono". simple repetition of this every time he mentions it to you and every time you think of reciprocating will stop you doing anything to hurt your friend.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: If he's doing this to her more than likely he'd do the same to you if you guys went out- You know the deal with leopards and spots, right?
If he likes you so much what is he still doing with your best friend? Hedging his bets, that's what.
Don't do anything- your friendship will last a lot longer than any relationship with this loser. Sooner or later she will catch him cheating- imagine the double betrayal if it was with her best friend.
Oh and you might want to get some nice hard proof of his comments to you and present your friend with the evidence. He sounds like a jerk
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Im 13/f and my friend realized that she has a trust problem with guys. She wants to improve herself by trusting more guys more and she wants to have some guy friends but she has no idea how to trust them more. What can she do or what can I do to help? Thanks! (link)
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first step: find some guys worthy of her trust. This is much much harder than you'd think, particularly 13 years olds (with people in general actually, not just guys) so that's your main task.
After that it's a question of gradually trusting them with more and bigger things until she realises they haven't betrayed her about X so why would they betray her about Y? etcetc
If you don't find any trustworthy guys until you're about 16 I'd say that's pretty average :)
Good Luck
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ok so my friend Brendan has been ignoring me lately. We don't see much..and we were really good friends, but all of a sudden he just stopped talking to me. We only talk over the internet and phone.so I don't know what's happening and I don't know what to do. (link)
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Yeah that sucks. I'd say go for a face-to-face talk and really try to get to the bottom of what's going on. There could be any number of reasons from personal problems to him feeling youve drifted apart to him liking you more than he should, anything.
Chances are though if he's been this determined not to talk about it, you won't be able to drag it out of him so you may have to back off for a while. Tell him that's what you'll do if he wants and let him know you're always there for him if he ever does need you again. That's the best you can really do I'm afraid. You can't force your friendship on someone however much you want it.
Hope you sort it out
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OK for anyone that can help me.
Every time me & my husben have sex & I have an orgasam its like a water fall. I have had sex with outher guys & I never had this problem and its not like it just happens onces it will happen 2 or 3 times. One night I had to make him stop becouse I could not handle it any more I felt realy bad about it. thanks pooh bear (link)
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Two words: lucky you!
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hi..ok i like this kid and he is really cool and hes in my classes and we talk all the time and we flirt ALL the time too...but the only thing is that he has a girlfriend..now i dont know what to do, do i flirt back when he flirts with me, or stay away? (link)
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Flirting can be pretty harmless but bear in mind there are guys who just do this naturally when talking to the opposite sex without it really meaning anything.
If you both know it's just that then fine but if you really think he's coming on to you when he has a girlfriend stay the hell away. It's dishonourable and even if you did end up with him who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you behind your back?
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what is a urinary track infection? and a yeast infection? how do you get them? and can they go away on there own without having to go to the doctors? (link)
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In short, not nice. a UTI is basically an infection in the urethra (common sign is needing the toilet all the time) whereas a yeast infection is more generally "down there" and includes things like thrush. Common sign is massive itching.
Both things are easily sorted but antibiotics or over-the-counter medicine in the case of yeast infections in the form of tablets of creams.
You can catch them from having sex with a partener who as them but they can also occur on their own from bacteria build up. To avoid them just try to stay fresh and clean, change underwear regularly and bear in mind you may be one of those girls for whom it's brought on by wearing tights (go for stockings instead).
You're likely to get one or both at some point in your life, perhaps even recurring cases but it's really not a big deal and is easily cured.
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So- I know that girls don't like back hair, however, i have hair on my chest, stomach, and shoulders. Do I have to get rid of all the hair of the torso? What do girls generally like? (link)
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Different for every girl but I certainly have a thing for hairy chests and stomachs. Seriously, show me a good body with a decent pelt and I'm sold. It'd actually seem a bit weird to me for a guy not to have chest hair.
You're right at far as back hair goes- most women dont like it I'd say but shoulders are fine so long as it doesn't look like your wearing furry shoulder pads!
Besides, if a girl likes you she won't really care either way- she'll be too busy thanking her lucky stars she gets to see you topless at all.
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I have a girlfriend the problem is i'm a girl can some1 help i don't know what 2 do!!!!!! (link)
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Wait...Is this a problem simply becuse you're both girls? Hell lady, if you're attracted to her just roll with it...
Oh and try to get used to guys drooling at the thought of it, particularly if you're both hot. :)
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I was searching through some xangas and I came across this girl that I'm not too fond of. I stopped to look at all the pictures she had thinking it might be pretty funny. I found multiple pictures of this girl, with my boyfriend on his bed. Nothing sexual, I think, but the fact I'M not even allowed in his room let alone his BED kinda ticked me off. Am I wrong to be upset that he had a girl that EVERYONE knows is basically a slut on his bed with him?
(link)
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You've every right to be pretty hugely pissed off. Perhaps his parents weren't in the house and that's why she was there or some other somewhat reasonable-ish excuse but you need to talk to him and lt his know you're upset.
Did you even know they spent time round his house together? If not you need to ask yourself why he didn't tell you. Oh and also why he's stupid enough to let her take pictures of something he must have known would make you angry and klet her post them on the net. Idiot.
Hope it works out.
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There are these two kids that both like me. One of them split up with the girl they were seeing for me and the other one just started liking me again. The thing is, I can't pick who I like right now..its so frustrating!! They'll always be like "your on the phone with (guys name)? F*** him!" and one of them I've liked for about a year now. The other one I told him I liked him before and he's like "No I want you to see how it feels to feel sh**ty so I don't wanna go out with you again". Now he wants to go back out with me and gets mad at me when I talk to the other guy on the phone! I mean REALLY mad. Can someone help me before this gets outta hand????? THANKS! (link)
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Oh for christ sake
1) are you a piece of meat to be fought over?
2) why do either of these boys feel they have the right to tell you who to talk to? Even if you were dating one they'd be out of line.
3) Mr. "i-want-you-to-feel-shitty" is not worth your time. The end.
4) you do not owe the guy who broke up with his girlfriend anything so don't make a decision based on that. It was his decision and is irrelevant to how much you like him.
It doesn't sound like you ahve strong feelings towards either of them really so probably best not to date either. Besides, if you tell them both you just want to be friends you'll be able to tell which one is better for you- it'll be the one that sticks around to be your friend anyway.
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What's is mean when you like jacking yourslef? or something like that cause one kid at my school said that he saw this guy "jacking himself"? i dunno if that's the write word or not? (link)
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masturbating, knocking one off the wrist, wanking, saying hi to the one-eyed monster, spanking the monkey, bashing the bishop, choking the chicken, ringing his thing, having a date with Mrs Hand and her five lovely daughters etc etc. Whichever works for you lol. You'll hear far more extensive lists than these.
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ok i've had my period for bout 5-6 months. And if been at the end of the month but this time if hasn't happen i got it at the end of September but not at the end of October? Is this normal? What's wrong? (link)
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Don't worry, it happens when you've onyl recently started your period. Mine used to be incredibly erratic and then i only sed to have one every 2 months or so. If you haven't had sex and there's no way you could be pregnant, no worries-it'll settle down soon enough.
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Right well we got a swimmin pool built in our school last month and when the girls are on their periods they aren't allowed to sit out but are forced to use tampons!!!!!! I haven't been on since it was built but oomg. I am so scared. I have never used a tampon and I'm never GONNA so don't suggest I do. Isn't it like illegal to force us to use tampons or somethin? My friend even got her rents in about it and they still made her use tampons!! What can I do on swimmin days that I am on? I'm not using a tampon but I'm not standin in the changing room arguing bout whether to use one or not with the PE teacher its embarassing!! (link)
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tampons are easy to use but there's no way in hell they can force you to wear one to go swimming at school.
Get your parents to write in and yes, downright refuse to get in the pool on days you're having your period. Obviously if you use it as an excuse every week they're going to know you're taking the piss but if it's genuine there shouldn't be a problem.
I assume you're fairly young since this issue's only just come up and I know it takes a while to learn to stand up for yourself of these sorts of matters but do try to simply TELL your teachers you are NOT going to be swimming today as you are on your period and are not comfortable wearing a tampon. What are they going to do? Shove one up there?
I'm working myself up into more and more of a righteous frenzy about this so I'll end here! But it's your body, don't let anyone try to make you believe it's for them to decide what you put in it-that's the crux of the issue.
It would never stand up in a court of law so don't let them bully you outside it.
Support and Encouragement
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I'm a virgin. I thought I would start out with that.
I am 15 years old and I masturbate sometimes. But the thing is, after I do it, I feel really guilty and stop and don't do it for about a month.
It feels good when it's happening but after, I feel sick to my stomach.
I have never had a boyfriend and I'm not sexually active at all besides masturbating.
People say it's normal but it's not really publically accepted for teenage girls.
I just want to know if it's normal how I feel. (link)
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God I remember feeling that way. Buy a few copies of Cosmopolitan, half the magazine is filled with talk of female masturbation. Or rent Sex and the City.
It's true that guys tend to be far more open and blase about it but women are getting there slowly but surely. I know I can talk about it with a couple of my close friends and as you get older you'll probably find that it becomes far less taboo as sensible people realise that a lot of women do actually (shock, horror, gasp) enjoy sex and do (stone the crows)get horny.
Don't feel guilty about it, enjoy it.
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ok hey, question for the girls. How would you feel if your boyfriend did something like this for you on Xmas. (by the way i am the male not the female lol) I get 2 roses, and put each in their own wrapped box. Ill say "when this rose dries up and dies, i will love you more," then give her the box and let her unwrap the first rose. then say "when this rose dries up and dies, you will love me more," then give her the box and let her open it. Then i will take a third box and say "when this rose dries up and dies, i will STOP loving you." and she will open the box, and it will be a glass rose. (for all the blondes out there, glass doesnt dry up and die ;-)) Ever. lol. what do ya think? (link)
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Bless. Cheesy but cute. A glass rose would be awesome.
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This morning my dad got angry at me. The reason isn't really important. He threw the waffle that was eating at my shirt and got butter all over me. I was upset because he had the nerve to throw a waffle at me, and also because I was excited to wear the outfit that I had picked out to school. I started crying and I couldn't stop. Keep in mind that I have my period now. I was still crying when I got out of the car, and still crying when I was in homeroom. Of course, everyone was staring at me and wondering why my eyes were all puffy. My teacher suggested I go to the nurse, so I did and stayed there for half of first period. I was really happy by the time I was surrounded by my friends. First of all, I felt like an idiot because the people in my homeroom knew how upset I was in the morning, and then saw me laughing my head off with my friends two periods later. I just feel so stupid and I can't for the life of me understand why I was crying so much!! I know I have my perios, but I've never got PMS this severe before!! HELP PLEASE!! Has anyone beed throuhg an awkward situation like this? (link)
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Haha oh god, don't worry about it. I've always found PMS varies in strength for me- sometimes barely there at all, other times i sob, cut people to pieces and get uncontrollable urges to hit things.
I'm sure no-one will say anything (they'll be too scared! :)). If they do just look menacing and tell them to just wait for the next bout.
Also, throwing a waffle at yo is...a bit pathetic actually. I can understand why you'd be upset but try to brush it off and remember that guys never truly grow up.
Take care
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