I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28392
Main Categories:
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Does anyone else ever get an itchy spot on their hand that, even when you scratch, doesn't go away?
HOW CAN I MAKE THE ITCHING STOP!?! Its brutal. (link)
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Quite often when that occurs, it could be the result of a neuroligical condition. How to stop it cant be answered here, you may have to consult a dermetologist. However, as a temporary solution, try hydrocortisone, it may be of some relief.
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I've convinced myself that just because the rest of my family smokes, doesn't mean I will. But most people I know say "you never know if you're going to end up smoking yet"
I always tell them "I promise you I'm not going to smoke" and they tell me I cant make a promise like that. Hardly anyone believes me. A few people do but that's not enough. I could start smoking anytime...so when is the right time that they will believe me? When I'm older? I'm still young, and if I'm not smoking now...I'm not a smoker, so why can't I just stay like I am.....NOT A SMOKER. I know a lot of people say that they're not going to smoke and some of them end up smoking, but I'm not one of those people. I counted how much money my family would waste altogether with the money they spend on cigarettes all combined....and thats like 50,000 a year!
That's messed up.
I'm not going to smoke because I already see the way my family struggles with it. It breaks my heart that they're controlled by a poisonous stick. What should I do? Do you think I'm going to smoke just because the rest of my family does? I'm not the kind of person who gives into peer pressure...and I've already turned an offer for a cigarette down.
I'm about to take all their cigarettes and flush them down the toilet...that's how scared I am for them, and it's going to waste a lot of their money, but that will just teach them a lesson. (even though most people say that a if you take their cigarettes away, it will just make them want to smoke more, well I'll make sure they dont) Should I? I'm so confused...and sorry for the length. PLEASE HELP! (link)
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I think if nothing else, you'll not smoke just to show them that you won't. As for their cigarettes, flushing them won't do any good. They'll only buy more and actually may make them a bit upset, lol.
It's been determined that nicotine is just as addictive as heroin. Scary, huh? The habit is something that they are going to have to deal with when THEY are ready, and until that happens, there's not much you or anyone else can do. I'm sorry. but you're on the right track with not starting.....stay on it.
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My friends are bugging me to go to this party tonight, but I'm sick. Seriously. They don't believe me, they just think it's me being anti-social. Should I go anyway and make them all sick just to prove a point? (link)
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( Wicked, evil grin ). Yeah :)
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just before christmas i had a fight with two of my at the time best friends my mum was there and everything one of my friends called my6 month pregnant mum a f*****n fat mole and i whent off my head at her like any daughter would about 3 days after that we came back from our x-mas holidays to find a notice in our letter box asking either me or my mum to ring the police station. the next day my mum rang the police and a cop came to talk to us the bitches had put out a report on me saying that i said i was going to kill them and i was going to stab them which i DID NOT say the cops let it be and said that she is just trying to get attention. now they have gone around telling other people that my mum said she was going to stab them, but she told the police it was me so they are lying to everyone trying to press charges on me so i really need some advice on what to do here please (link)
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well, the cops are going to let it be, so I would suggest that you do the same. Even if you DID say it, there's nothing really that the cops can do until you make an ATTEMPT. So, consider those two no longer on your list of friends, move on, and after awhile, their attempts to get attention and the lies will move on, too. Juding by your verbage, I would guess you to be in England, maybe around the Midlands area. It has nothing to do with your question, I just thought I'd ask. Anyway, let it...and THEM go.
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well i used to live with my step mom. she was very abusive in many ways (ie) telling me i was worthless, throwing things at me, forgeting about me all kinds of thing she once made me stand in a corner from sunrise to sunset for 6 days straight but im getting off topic...im now no longer living there i was able to move in with my father who i realized that i wanted to live with after i could see through all the brainwashing done by my mother.... now its been a few months since i last saw her let alone talk to her...yet after all of the pains she has caused me i keep trying to reachout and make contact with her. i called her to wish her a happy new year and merry christmas and she never called me back to even say hi. yet im still filled with a conpulsion to call her once more and try all over agian. each time i do this im thrown into a depression that is hard to get out of. should i keep trying to reach out or should i go about it another way. please help
lost in fl. (link)
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Well, I'm not surprised. What you're exhibiting are classic indications of needing acceptance/approval. It's very common and everyone does it. ESPECIALLY with the parents. After so much abuse, you find yourself craving her acceptance in an effort to tell yourself that you're important or worthy. Without it, it's hard to feel that you are. You may find yourself getting along "well" with others, but eventually, you find yourself trying to get that ONE person to say, "you're ok". I really don't think she's capable of giving you what you need. Her actions toward you stem from her need for control. Not calling you back or responding is her way of maintaining control over you even after you've gone. That's HER problem to deal with. Don't let it continue to be your baggage. You ARE ok without her approval and you don't NEED it. You may WANT it....but you don't NEED it. It may sound simple, but make a list of ten things that you really like about yourself. Whenever you find yourself thinking about her and getting depressed, pull it out, look at it, and remind yourself that SHE is the one missing out on a great person. If you ever want to talk, e mail me.
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We haven't had sex for a couple months and quiet frankly im horny. Last time i asked him for some he told me i wasnt gunna get layed anymore unless i got a gigilo (male prostitute).hes my husband and i want his body?! i wonder if he finds me
do u think i should leave him or ask him to treat me better.
Mrs. iwanttogetlayed (link)
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Before you start packing all that you own, ask him why he feels that's the only way you'll get laid. Have you recently undergone physical changes that he may find unattractive? If that's the case, then it may be salvageable. Not that I would tell you to change for him. But. if it's something of an emotional issue with him ( he may no longer be emotionally comitted to you, he may have someone else, he may be under alot of stress at work, etc., etc., ) then it's something that the two of you may want to work on in counselling. If you try all that you can and he's still not willing, THEN you may have to determine if it's worth staying. I think it's great that you still want HIS body, not someone else's. That says alot about your character. As for getting laid.... until things can be resolved to your satisfaction...there's nothing wrong with masturbation. As for asking him to treat you better...WITHOUT A DOUBT. If you'd like, feel free to drop me a line at my private e mail.
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ok so this is the problem a month ago tommorow i started dating this guy. he treats me like a saint. he says he loves me and his brother and father tell me how good i am for him.in fact that after his life went downhill, im the only thing to make him happy, but im unhappy. im not physically attracted to him. and i kno thats shallow, but he likes to be very physical. today this guy i really like asked me out, i said yes w/o thinking. i really dont want ot hurt the guy im with now. and i refuse to cheat. im so confused and hurting inside like u would not believe. he did nothing to deserve this, its just i felt like i was smothering. maybe im wrong. i kno i am, that i should be able to make myself love him the way he does me, but i cant... i just cant. god please help me, and tell me what to do. im soo confused (link)
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What I find curious is how you found yourself dating a man to whom you aren't physically attracted. Nevertheless, that's a foregone issue. I think you may be allowing the feelings of others to dictate your present course of action. You tell me how HE feels, his FATHER and BROTHER, and actually, none of that is more important than that which you feel. Bottom line, you're going to have to take this one on the chin. You're afraid to be honest, which is what he deserves, and tell him exactly where he stands with you. It may be a bit painful, but in the long run, you'll both be better off.
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Um...I'm sorry but I'm not quite clear on what oral sex is...or ejaculation...it's all so confusing because I thought oral sex was simply saying the actions, not actually doing them. I didn't know you could get HIV and all of that stuff from it. Can someone please explain it to me???
From~
Curious (link)
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Oral sex is the act of using one's mouth to PHYSICALLY please another. So, verbalization does not apply.
Ejaculation is the fluid from the genitalia at the peak of sexual excitement. And yes, women can ejaculate, as well.
And YES, you CAN get HIV/A.I.D.S from oral sex. ANY type of act where sexual fluids are transfered can subject you to thr possibility of infection.
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ok so im 17 and i was wondering i have read that guys prefer the girls to swallow there cum after oral sex is this true or would they rather us to spit everytime i ask guys they say either way but i want to know seriously what they prefer i know it would be different for different guys but what would most of them seriously want (link)
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This one's simple. Don't let someone else dictate what YOU feel. What do YOU prefer?
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How do I win back my ex boyfriend that cares for me and I care for him but he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now? I mean we flirt, cuddle, play around,and hug.I'm very confused. (link)
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If you "care for him", why would you want him to be in something he doesn't want to( relationship)?
I understand that you may be feeling the need to get something a little bit more concrete for yourself, but if he's not ready, then don't try and push it on him. It might just push him even further away from the idea. Give him time, be there, and enjoy each others company. Maybe THAT will remind him of some things he misses about the realtionship, but by all means, don't push him.
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Last week for some reason I'm still trying to find I kissed my best friend. First kiss evar. My best friend is female. As am I. I have a boyfriend. Last night I told him about the kiss. He said he had to leave and hung up. I don't want to lose him and the kiss with *Sarah meant nothing. Has anyone been in my situation? How do I tell my boyfriend I want him over *Sarah and the kiss meant nothing and have him believe me? (link)
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His ego has been hurt ( which is why he had to go and hung up .Keep in mind that men are taught that they don't express feelings with friends in such a way so it's harder for him to understand what you mean when you say "as a friend". I hate to say it, but it sounds like he may have already moved on...or at least "prepared" himself to. Instead of waiting for him to cal...call him. Tell him you need to explain. If he still won't listen, then I'd say his ego is probably so bruised, that chances of your getting "back together" are slim to none. But, DO call HIM and try to get your point across. I think he owes you that much respect.
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I'm 16. I'm mentally a tomboy. All my close friends are boys/men. I'm a heterosexual girl.
The problem is, I get along with men wonderfully as friends. Nearly everyone sees me as the perfect girl: I'm easy to talk to, pretty attractive, and considerate. Yet, as a result, I never find myself considering any male friend as even a 'prospect.' Sure, I find several attractive, but in my current situation I have enough male companionship/interaction to be completely oblivious to these needs and urges I'm supposed to be having.
I end up holding off from dating because I always find something not quite right, not necessarily with the person, but with the 'feel'. Not only that, but I'm terrified of short term high schoolesque commitment, as well as the whole 'social' "did you hear harry's dating sally? Jane's furious!".
Recently, I've found someone that I could fit well with (who has feelings for me), but I'm not sure if I should encourage this relationship any further because I might find something wrong within a few short weeks. It's not little, knowing myself, it's a huge possibility.
Is it fair to subject this wonderful guy to what's basically an experiment to see how long I can stay in a relationship (though I definitely care about him), or should I wait until I can manage to get out of this mindset?
~Only Me (link)
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You sound INCREDIBLY mature for a 16 year old. Let me say I commend you for that. That's hard to find these days. Now, as for the relationship. If you do truly have feelings for him, then I don;t think it's so much of an "experiment". I think the only experiment is in your expectation of failure. You like him, he likes you, that should be enough to move forward. Alot of people go into relationships expecting them to fail and they ultimately do. But not because of something that was genuinely there, but because it's expected so much, that the person actually "creates" problems to justify their way of thinking. Clear your mind, give him ( and yourself ) a good shot. Ride it out and maybe you'll see that you were wrong, which is the best thing that could possibly happen :)
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Is it wrong to wait on a person? I mean, if you're not sure that you would even end up with this person. I mean, there are things that make it seem like you would, or that there is a definent possability...Ah. Help. (link)
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No, it's not "wrong". But, are you "waiting" for them to come around to your way of thinking/feeling? Have you already HAD a relationship and you're hoping to reconcile or what? I would say that if you like someone and there otherwise involved or just not AS interested at the moment, and you're waiting to see if they "break up" or otherwise become available, move on. Life's funny in some ways, and one of them is that if you're MEANT to be with this someone, believe me, you will, whether you wait or not.
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*ehem!* (Clears throat)
I am going to take you all the way back in to september, on the secound. . Please buckle your seatbelts and keep all objects and of course yoruself i the time machine, dont want any lose parts left behind in the past. . that would suck . .well anyways 9Presses the button and sets it to Spet 2, 2003 @ 9:15 a.m )
It all started the first day of school. . IF you believe in love at first site, well you better because this is it!
I was waiting in the gym. .lade da. . and I saw this really hott kid. . omg he was soo hott. . I just fell in love instintly, somethign about him made me want him instantly. . not just because he was hott. . because I dont know I think I knew how he was. . but I never met him before. . because i wa snew to the school . . They never called my name. . SO I had to go to the office,a nd obviously my mom left. . so I was crossing my fingers hoping I would be in his class (6th grade) And well I ende dp in hi class!! YAY! well if you think thats the happy ending your wrong. . I got to know him, like how he interacts with other people, hes soo sweet and really funny, hes liek the class clown/rebel he gets in trouble quite a few while im miss. shy/good girl lol. . well I really like funny pople, you know peopel with a good sense of humor. . and guys who r sweet and cool witht heir friends, not sweet like sweet liek umm like ehs not a freaking jerk .. ok. . I cnat believe his best friend tripped me! lol well anyways. . like a month later, they were switching classes around. . and guess what! HE GOT MOVED OUT OF MY CLASS! I was soo sad. . I ahte the dman teachers. . they probly new i liekd him and didnt want me to get tino touble with him .. because thye didnt think he was good enough for me. . well they r wrong! he is perfect and I wont stop likign him untill the day I die! hes the best thign that ever happened to me! I LOVE HIM AND I HOPE HE FINDS OUT BECAUSE I WANT AN EEN EBTETR CHANCE WITH HIM. . well i dont even think he lieks me. . well he does act stupid. . I do when I am arond him lol .. and he looks at me. . I see him Im not blind. . lol Well hes super special and all I want toknow is. .
AM I obsessed over him?
Do you think he is right for me, or do you agree witht he dumbass teachers??
And umm. . What if he does like me. . what should I do.....
(link)
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I think it's funny that you REALLY believe that the teachers would disrupt a classroom and move people around, shuffel their tasks and orders, just so YOU won't be subjected to a guy that's not good for you. Guess what, love? It's not that crucial. I'm sure they had a lot better reasons for moving him out of the class ( along with other people, I'm sure )that had absolutely nothing to do with you or him. But I can understand that you may feel that it does.
I can't say of he's good for you or not, but I do know that quite often, the "class clown" and other terms you have used to describe him, is often a sign of insecurity. Maybe he doesn't feel as confident in school as he should. I don't know, but I'd take a good look at that behavior. If you say you love him. I believe you believe that you do. Whether you beleive it or not right now, I don't think you have to start thinking of "life with this man". If he DOES like you....then let it go it's course. See where it goes but keep your head about you. You may even find out that after a while.....you don't like HIM as much as you thought.
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My bra is bigger then most girls so apperantly, most guys wanna get with me. Now, there is this one girl with twice the size of my bra and I wear a D. She sits up perfectly straight showing them off to the whole world to see especially KYLE RAFFLE so, the other girls with only size B are like sitting up straight going like "i never realized how convienent it is to have a small chest" when i said it is hard to play golf with my 'ladies'. Soft ball is even worse. The bat hurts sooo bad. My question to you is how do I make my 'ladies' appear smaller?
Thanks a bunch hons!
Signed
Big Mamma D (link)
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Well if you're looking to make them "appear" smaller, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. But, that's not my business :) Try wearing soldi colors across the chest, lines only seem to accentuate width and curves.
Has anyone ever considered that the girl with the double your size breasts may be sitting up straight becuase it's less pain on her lower back instead of putting them out there for "all the world to see"? I don't know exactl how big you are, but if it's big enough, then you should be well aware of the pain that comes along with the blessings of you ladies. You say you are when you play softball, but think about pain that just comes from carrying them around. But, without having them surgically reduced, the color and pattern of your clothes can make a big difference in appearances. Also the fabric. Try to avoid anything that has a tendency to stretch and accentaute them.
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Well, anyway, There is this really hot guy next door, I think he is sooooo fine! I just need some advice. I think he likes me. The other day, he told me that I looked really nice at school, but we had to dress up for a field trip anyway. He also told me that he wanted to get together with me and catch a movie sometime. He is always giving me signs and stuff but I'm not sure what they mean. Please answer all of these questions. Does he want to go out with me? Does he really like me? Does he like brunettes? Does he really like other guys?
Gay Guy For the Straight Guy (link)
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I don't think anyone can answer any of these questions but you. I don't know why you asked if he wants to go out with you when you said he stated that you go to a movie. As for rather or not he likes brunettes, beats me. As for the way society is geared to "train" now days, I can't see too many men being "secure" enough within themselves to make comments on another man's appearance without him being the best friend or something of that nature, so yes, I would say he has taken quite a liking to you. But come on, you already knew that. I think you're looking for that extra "push" to help you get the nerve to do what it is you want to do anyway. go for it.
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I am 13 and tottaly confused because all my friends say this guy... likes me. but i don't think so! how do i know! cause i really like him too! And everyone at our lunch table is like all you guys do is flirt! I don't think we do unless i'm just not paying attention to it or something! I don't know if he likes me.
~Confused~
HELP! (link)
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Why don't you just ask him. Tell him that alot of people have bneen saying that maybe he does and you're asking to find out for sure. Don't be surprised if he asks you if you like him before he answers. That's to make sure he doesn't put himself out on a limb and look "like a jerk" if you don't. But that's the simplest method I can think of.
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WHEN TALKING TO UR CRUSH WHAT THINGS SHOULD U AVOID WETHER U R A GIRL OR A BOY. (link)
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Anything about a relationship that went bad. Try not to bring any of that up. And if at all possible, don't spend alot of time discussing the faults of the other person. Try and share the conversation, ask questions about them as much as you give info about yourself. Try and see what subject makes them feel the most comfortable and try and form the conversation around that.
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I like a guy(GUY 1), I don't know if he likes me. I think he does but I'm not sure. I'm 16 he's 18. We work together. We're friends.
So far it's relatively bog standard dilemma.
However...
I just had a mess up with one of the other guys(GUY 2) at work (he liked me, I don't like him but he thought I did). Guy 1 suggested that we pretend to be dating to basically piss of GUY 2( what the hell is that suggesting). Without thinking, I agreed.
What the hell am I supposed to do? (link)
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Well, maybe number one REALLY does like you, and "pretending" to be dating was his way of bringing the whole idea out in the open. Then again, he could have thought that it would truly stop your problem and may havbe just offered to be of what help he could. Have you ever asked number one what he really feels? Why don;t you try and bring it up in joke form and see how he runs with it. Say something like, " We "pretend" pretty good, don't we? You might almsot think you like me for real " or something like that. That should give him the opportunity to tell yu what's really on his mind at that point.
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There is this guy..I like him a LOT...He is funny and nice and everything...but this other guy asked me out..And i like him too..You see...
The first guy is...Funny...Nice..Cute..Sweet..etc..
The Other guy is...Nice..Cute..And obssesive..and Funny...
I like them both..But i dont know which one to go with...What do you think? (link)
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Well, the "obssessive" worries me a bit. But, I'd say look at what it is you're really looking for ( short-term, long-term )etc, and see what they both REALLY have to offer. Then bite the bullet and make a choice.
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