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Not Quite.
I'm 16. I'm mentally a tomboy. All my close friends are boys/men. I'm a heterosexual girl.
The problem is, I get along with men wonderfully as friends. Nearly everyone sees me as the perfect girl: I'm easy to talk to, pretty attractive, and considerate. Yet, as a result, I never find myself considering any male friend as even a 'prospect.' Sure, I find several attractive, but in my current situation I have enough male companionship/interaction to be completely oblivious to these needs and urges I'm supposed to be having.
I end up holding off from dating because I always find something not quite right, not necessarily with the person, but with the 'feel'. Not only that, but I'm terrified of short term high schoolesque commitment, as well as the whole 'social' "did you hear harry's dating sally? Jane's furious!".
Recently, I've found someone that I could fit well with (who has feelings for me), but I'm not sure if I should encourage this relationship any further because I might find something wrong within a few short weeks. It's not little, knowing myself, it's a huge possibility.
Is it fair to subject this wonderful guy to what's basically an experiment to see how long I can stay in a relationship (though I definitely care about him), or should I wait until I can manage to get out of this mindset?
~Only Me
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You sound INCREDIBLY mature for a 16 year old. Let me say I commend you for that. That's hard to find these days. Now, as for the relationship. If you do truly have feelings for him, then I don;t think it's so much of an "experiment". I think the only experiment is in your expectation of failure. You like him, he likes you, that should be enough to move forward. Alot of people go into relationships expecting them to fail and they ultimately do. But not because of something that was genuinely there, but because it's expected so much, that the person actually "creates" problems to justify their way of thinking. Clear your mind, give him ( and yourself ) a good shot. Ride it out and maybe you'll see that you were wrong, which is the best thing that could possibly happen :)
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I think it would be good for you to take the plungue with this guy. In reality, he's not going to be perfect and it won't last forever - but you are in high school, and that's okay. I'm not saying that you should date anybody who comes along, but you think you are compatible with this guy, he likes you and you like him - what's the problem? It's difficult to let go and take risks when you are used to just having platonic relationships with guys, but sometimes it's worth the risk.
Be straight with this guy, and take it slowly if your unsure. If it doesn't feel right, then stop - but don't let fear of becoming a teenager cliche who dates non-stop prevent you from having a relationship if it's actually what both you and the guy want. Good luck.
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Let me tell you something, please don't be so scared to try new things, oh well if a guy has a problem, Everyone has problems that other people need to learn to put up with to get along with them. It is better to try then not try at all. I also wanted to know, if you are heterosexual and hang out with guys, shouldn't you try going out with a guy that is not your friend and if it ends it won't be so bloody. Good luck to ya hon!
Elle
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Go with him you never know what will happen
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Even though I wouldn't call it be well expriement and even if he's not right breakup cause your not married somebody's out their for everybody
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Good of you to realize that nothing is certain in love, and the realization may not go away.
So, go for it, everyone will learn something, and you may find it's a good thing. Or not, but at least you'll know.
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You should definately give him a chance, however, it sounds like you are trying to look for the bad things in guys. Just go into it with an open mind, don't judge him. It seems that you really care for him, so try the relationship. Just don't go looking for the things you may not like, only look for the things that make you happy!
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Well you really ought to take that risk. Love is a big risk, and one you need to take. A relationship doesn't always work out, but a lot of the times it does work out really well, and you'll never know unless you take that big leap! So go for it!
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You must know that nobody is perfect, but it never hurts to find out. Take a chance and get to know this guy who likes you. He could be someone you're looking for. You have plenty of time to find someone. So dont worry about not finding a great guy right yet. Just stay friends and stay kind to all people and someone you will really like will pop up when you least expect it.
-shay :-)
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