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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
im 15/f and i like this 17/m.
we both go to the same school. he is a senior and i am a sophmore. yeah i know it seems pointless, and your probably saying to yourself that im dumb because he will graduate with in a few months. I really really like him though and he really really likes me. He has asked me to be his "girlfriend" ..so ill put it, and i said no because i feel i will just be heartbroken in the end because he is graduating. The thing is though I really want to go out with him and be his girlfriend but I have horrible realtionship issues, and I feel i will become attached and it will all just go down hill from there. I really need some advice please help me if you can. Thank you so much.
I'd give him a chance. Yes, you could go out for a month, hate each other, and nothing will come out of it. Or, you could have a violent breakup after he goes away and you can't handle the long distance relationship. But that's the case in any relationship, with anything in life. You never know how things will go, so give it a shot. Giving up before you try never gets you anywhere!
As for your horrible relationship issues: as I don't know what they are, I can't give you any real advice on those. However. You are fifteen, the age when many people are entering their first real relationships. A little young to have deemed yourself with permanent issues in the relationship department, don't you think?
Go out with him. Take it slow and casual if you think this will ease your anxiety, or suggest you date for a bit before you put the "girlfriend" label on yourself.
If you like this guy, try it out before you decide that it won't work out.
hi
i wash my hair everyday
and twice a week i use perscribed dandruff shampoo
even before the dandruff shampoo, my hair had been greasy on at the roots and under-layers.
i always make sure to rinse for about 5 or more minutes with warm water.
i also don't put conditioner on my roots.
i also only comb my hair out after the shower
and in the morning.
AHHH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY HAIR UN-GREASY !
it started becoming greasy around novemberish i think.
i have used paprya shampoo, the cheap ones also, garnier frutese and aussie, but all for normal hair.
i also know i can put baby-powder in my hair but i heard that causes breathing problems.
i don't want to have to put baby powder in my hair though, i want it un-greasy!
so, what can i do to help my hair?
im 14/f also.
thanks for reading this =D
If your hair is greasy, try getting shampoo for "oily" hair instead of normal hair. I'm pretty sure the brands you described have those versions of shampoo.
If I were you I'd use the shampoo for oily hair, wash every day or every other day if you don't already, and either use less conditioner or forgo it altogether.
Don't worry. You're reaching the age of greasiness. It will pass =].
does anyone know songs that are about
beautiful place and you need sleep after a long day?!?
Doesn't perfectly fit the description anyway but this song popped into mind :
Let me take you there - Plain White T's
Just wondering what i could do to recycle old clothing into new design? Like turning old jeans into a mini skirt, but different ideas with t-shirts.
Thanks
I'd suggest going into a fabric store and looking at their books of sewing patterns, or finding some patterns over the internet, for anything you'd like to make. If you get a stitch-ripper and use it to divide the shirt by the side-seams (or just cut the shirt so that it looks like a long towel, instead of a top), it becomes fabric that you can use to make basically anything. If you combined lots of t-shirts with different logos and prints, you could make this awesome mismatched skirts/tank tops/ whatevers.
Other suggestions I'd have come from my school's fashion show - a girl made a dress out of ties, a frilly jacket out of a shower curtain, and a dress that was basically a bunch of men's dress shirts sewed together at the waist to create this massive puff of dress-shirt material that twirled when she turned around.
Another suggestion is if you wanted to paint any of the shirts, you don't need fabric paint. Acrylic paint is excellent for t-shirt painting purposes.
Have fun and happy sewing =]
hi....
so my mum hasn't really the best of mums ( i blame my ass of a father for it) over the years (30 lets say) she has been repressed beaten cursed at yelled at threatened embarrassed in front of an audience and worst of all hated by sisters because of him. i am a psychology major... and despite that i can't seem to get through. what i have in professional skills i lack in personal interconnected emotional ones...... the reason she has become such a kleptomaniac and a very passive person is because of this ongoing constant abuse over the years. she isn't a saint... her sense of responsibilities and her inability to control her spending is unspeakable.... but that doesn't justify him treating her as a mule....
nothing makes her happy unless is it is super expensive or bought.... she doesn't act like a mother and when i try talking to her she becomes so defensive. sometimes she bursts into lapses were she thinks we are 5 and she has to take care of us and other times when we need her to be there or we'd like to talk to her she'll withdraw.... what do i do??
i really want a mom... i really want her to feel better... there is no way she'll agree to leaving my father..... i don't know what to do... i miss who she could be so much.....
Probably all you really could do is sit down one day with her when she seems to be in a good mood and point out all that you are concerned about in a caring, loving way. She may not agree flat out to leave your father, but there are abuse hotlines and services for women in her position - you may want to go on an online google search or something to check it out. Abuse is certainly taking a tole on her personality, not only that, but it is against the law. As this is the case, you could call something like a hotline for further help even if your mom doesn't necessarily agree with it.
Have you talked to your father about this? There are counseling services open for abusive partners; the fact that you've witnessed him beating your mom and could easily tell some sort of person of authority is as good a threat as any to get him to go to one. As well, counseling for him might sit better with your mother, if she doesn't want to leave your dad.
As for your own relationship with your mother, you can't really take charge of her life, though stopping the abuse she faces would certainly be a good idea. You could try going out with her to the movies, to a play or something, just so she gets out of the house and has fun, or try just having downtime with her where you don't necessarily talk about anything serious might cheer her up. If she withdraws on something give her her space, and if she's being overly controlling you could either tease her about her mothering ways or just go with it; whichever. It shows you care about your mom a lot by you writing this on this site. Even without personal interconnected emotional skills, just letting your mom know you care about her, telling her you love her goes a long way.
I've been dancing for over 5 years. and i love it. but recently i've been getting way too much work and i've been skipping dance (to get it all done) my mom told me its time for me to quit dance...and maybe start something new..idk what i want to doo.
please helpp mee.
If you love dance I don't suggest you give it up. Talk to your mom. Tell her that you really love dance, but realize it's conflicting with your schoolwork. Tell her that you would like to come up with some solution to this problem, and that you'd like her help. If you phrase it like this, she'll know you are looking at the situation in a mature, responsible way, and will trust you to make your own decisions about this topic.
Obviously, something has to be cut back. Maybe you can cut down the time you spend each day surfing the internet? Is there anything else you do after school that is taking up all your time? You could try plotting out the time each day you spend doing certain things. Most people have relatively mundane periods of time that they waste for no particular reason. Maybe for you this is, say, commuting to dance classes. To make up for this you could try doing homework in the subway/car.
Don't stress too much. Schools go through periods that I like to call crunch time, because everything is due then. Maybe instead of quitting dance, you can talk to your dance teachers and tell them that certain times of the year you'd like to have less lessons, but you'd like to make it up by taking more classes during different times of the year.
Ok so I have a huge crush on this guy. Oh by the way I'm 13/f. I'm in 8th grade too. Well my school is year round so I am off for the rest of this month and Feb. Well he talks to me a lot. And I have 3 classes with him. He sits behind me in one and sits next to me in another and the last one is P.E. so we don't really sit. But he pulls my hair when he sits behind my and he is so funny. He drops something then I pick it up. He is hilarious though, he can make anyone laugh. The thing is I never have the guts to start talking to him and we have never really had a real conversation except once. But I wanna know how to talk to him like start a conversation. He usually ask me something and I answer and yeah its over. Sorry it was long but can you please help! Thanks!
A good way is either sitting near him, or if you can't do that, sort of linger near/around him before or after classes. Chances are, if he's attempting conversation with you already, he'd pretty much be fine with continuing whatever conversation you happen to start. The problem with a lot of people and conversations is they overanalyze what they're going to say, or worry that the person won't really want to talk to them. The truth is, most everyone likes being talked to and would only be annoyed really if they ignored you or something and you wouldn't go away; clearly you are not in this situation. Sometimes, what matters isn't how you start a conversation or what you say but the fact that you said anything to begin with. No one cares if you say something not particularly interesting or funny because we've all been there, but if you never say anything your chances of getting to know this guy are extremely low.
As the person below me suggested, comments about things having to do with the class are a really good idea. It's always fun to tease what's going on in the class (the ridiculousness of the test/assignment, the weirdness/niceness/whateverness of your teacher,ect. ). The best times to talk are work periods, times when the teacher leaves the room, and especially before or after class. As guy in question gets up to leave, hang back around him and comment on something maybe that happened in that class. Then you can ask "What's your next class?" and then keep the conversation going by either saying what class you have or commenting on the class he's going to. Always say something related to something he's said so you both can keep talking, otherwise you may not look interested. Whenever possible, avoid one word answers and tell crazy stories.
If he's pulling your hair/ teasing you it's a good sign he may like you back =] Reciprocating (his hair may be too short to pull but something similar) would let him know you were interested. Good luck =]
I have a son that is in the eighth grade and he is having such a hard time in algebra...i wanted to know if anyone could give me any feedback on kumon...
I went to Kumon for several years as a child for math and later for reading. Basically the concept is that in order to get good at something you need to do problems over and over again. While I was there, I got lists of addition questions that I had to do - basically it improves how fast you can do simple equations. Personally, I hated it because it was so repetitive, but it does help improve how fast you can divide, multiply, add, ect.
I'm not sure how kumon is for algebra, but I do know that algebra involves more of an ability to think outside the box while solving problems, to some extent, which I'm not sure Kumon teaches. You could look into the program, but I'd personally recommend something like a tutor.
well i have a boyfriend , but everyone says i just have a " flirty " personality . and people say i flirt when i dont even notice it. My boyfriends friends are all really hot but i mean i know where to draw the line at ya know . but i just dont want my boyfriend to get mad , we been dating for almost a year though , but i guess i flirt with alotta peoplE ? people say its just my peppy personality
any advice on how to like stop ? or catch my self
It's probably not a problem if your boyfriend hasn't said anything about it. If you're concerned, you should probably being up the subject with your boyfriend, saying something like "So I know sometimes I may seem kind of flirty with my guy friends... does this bug you?" Talking it over with him is probably a lot easier to do than changing your personality, in any case.
If you would like to stop your flirtiness, a good thing to do would be to watch yourself generally and figure out what makes you more flirty. Then, you know what things to stop doing. Ie, you act flirty by touching them when you talk... so then the next time you see your guy friends you just make an effort not to touch them or whatnot.
I wouldn't worry about it, though. As long as the flirting isn't serious you're fine.
Me and this guy went out for a month last year, but have been unofficially on and off for a year (last January till now). There is something about him, that I can not get over. And he likes me now. But for the past few months, he either rejected me and told he just wanted to be friends when i told him I liked him. Or he would be wishy washy (I like her, but i dont want to go down the same path since we went out b4). This weekend we were doing the usual flirting thing, but it was different. And when my guy best friend asked him if he liked me, he said yes he does. But he also said that he said no so many times before, for him to say yes now would have the other no's mean nothing. He also made the statement that he is not sure his pride will let him tell me now that he likes me. I think its stupid...but I dont want to let this go now that he actually likes me. I feel like if I get him to admit his feelings to me then the rest of his insecurites would be easier to tackle. I need lots of suggestions to start a conversation to get to this point (having us admit our feelings for each other). How to tell him that its going to be ok (technically I am not even supposed to kno he likes me, he told my best friend in confidence). I really want this to work!
thanks in advance
Just because he likes you does not mean that he wants to be in a relationship with you. That's probably why he won't admit to liking you, even though part of him probably did even while he was rejecting you in the past. A year is a pretty long time to have an on and off again relationship, chances are, he likes you but wants to get over you, and you're not letting him.
Think of how this will work: you trying to "tackle his insecurities" and drag him into a relationship that he's not so sure he'll want. Both of you won't be happy if he's not fully committed and you'll be constantly trying to get something more out of him. You'll break up. Again.
I'd recommend you move on. That would be the smart thing to do - find a guy who's committed to you, who's insecurities you won't have to tackle to be with. Keeping your distance would help both of you move on.
Since you did ask, though, the best way to get back together with him would be similar to option A. Back off a little. Don't try to drag confessions out of him but lay low and act friendly until he trusts you again. If he feels ready to be in a relationship with, he'll confess on his own. Keep it neutral until then.
Can anyone tell me any websites where I can get free music, thanks for all your help!!!!!
thepiratebay.org is pretty good, but it won't find the more obscure bands/artists.
For more, go to google and search "bittorrent music downloads".
You'll need bittorrent for these sites, which is better than limewire because there are are far less viruses. If you don't have bittorrent, google "bittorrent" and download the latest version.
Careful, though. Music downloading is legal in Canada but I'm not so sure about other places =]
I desperately need a way to get things out of my mind. I replay bad memories or moments in my head millions of times a day, I obsess over boys/friends, I can't handle being yelled at, I strive for order, and I get overly stressed all too often.
I have good grades, play sports, and eat healthy. Still I can't help but feel like everything is always going crazy in my head.
What can I do to get my emotions and this stress under control. I can never let go of grudges or let anything just 'roll off my back' Any ideas?
If you are concerned about this, a good option would be to talk to a therapist (I'd include guidance councilors in this, but I have no idea how helpful they are in your school). They'd be able to talk to you, figure out things that are making you more stressed, and help you change these things whether they be thoughts, behaviors, or bedtimes.
Aside from that, something that helps stress is working out a way to let go of your emotions. Personally, I find drawing, writing in journals, and listening to angry music while smudging pastels/singing along really loudly and terribly works for me, but yeah, whatever works for you. Two different approaches to letting go of emotion are either to get really stressed, really upset, really frustrated and then channeling that somehow (art, sports, poetry, journal entries, crying, ect) so it goes away, or getting yourself into a state of calm. For the second one, I recommend collecting lots of songs that are really relaxing and put you in a good mood, and getting into a habit of setting aside a time (say, 1/2 hour) a day where you can't worry at all. Put on the music, take a long bath, and read a book while eating white chocolate. Lie on your bed and just think about things (not worry, though) for a while.
Something you could try, if the worrying really gets out of control, is taking fifteen minutes to just worry. Write down everything, large and small, that's bugging you, bring up everything that you are stressed about. When the fifteen minutes are up, tell yourself that you can no longer worry. Look at your list and figure out which worries are not a big deal, which ones are unsolvable. Let these worries go after this, tell yourself they are not worth worrying about. Then, make a short list with one or two things on it of things you are going to do in that day. When you get worried about everything else that's bugging you, just remember that you are only going to worry about those one or two things.
As for the replaying of bad moments, you're going to blow things out of proportion. Try to step away from these replaying situations in your head to look at it objectively, and use your frantic brain skills to think of all the reasons why someone yelled at you, ect besides the reason that it is your fault.
Overall: one thing to remember. You can't do everything. Everything is always going to be a little off kilter. Once you make peace with this, life is a lot easier to handle.
Okay, so i have a boyfriend of 3, almost 4 months. He is one of the sweetest guys i have come across in a long while, but lately, that has changed. For the past 3 weeks he has barely been hanging out with me, or talking to me. He is apologizing and "trying to fix it" but its just hard to deal with, really hard.
While on the other hand, i have another boy that likes me. That i liked before me and my boyfriend started dating, but i just found out he likes me, about 3 weeks to a month ago. We talk a lot [just as friends for now] and hang out, and i am starting to like him more and more. And he is a lot sweeter to me than even my own boyfriend is at this point, and i feel like i want to be with him.
The catch is, i am my boyfriend's first real girlfriend and he is a junior in highschool, while i am a sophomore, so i would feel bad to be his first broken heart, especially if he really is trying to fix things, and i have no idea what to do.
I'd give your relationship a little more time, that is, me assuming that you genuinely liked your boyfriend and were happy with him when you started dating. He could have a real reason for not being able to see you. It could be something is going on at home, it's crunch time at school and he's ultra behind in his work, or something completely personal. In a relationship, or at least, the ones that last a while, you have to be able to give people that breathing room, to not see them all the time. Yeah, it sucks, but it happens. Part of holding on to someone is being able to let them go a little.
As for this new guy, the reason why you should wait before getting together with him, no matter if you stay with your boyfriend or not, is you could be using him to fill up the void caused by your boyfriend's busyness. You found out he liked you as soon as your boyfriend got busier. A lot of you talking to him, egging him on in some ways, was probably your way of getting to feel the attention that your boyfriend has not been giving you. You may or may not actually like this person in a genuine way, and the only way to know that would be to break up with your current boyfriend and wait some time. Think about it. What if something happened to this new guy that made him unable to see you as regularly for an amount of time? Would you immediately leave him or would you give him a chance, wait for him?
If some more time passes and your boyfriend doesn't seem to have fixed anything; you figure that he only can see you very rarely and you're not okay with this, then you can consider moving on.
Okay. I really like this guy I'm going out with. I've gone out with him twice Friday and today(being Sunday). I really want to kiss him and today we were at his house and he asked me if his dad was upstairs and he was. It was obvious that he wanted to kiss me. He had eye contact with me and everything and he looked like he was going to go for it and I looked away. I dont understand why. Its not like it would be my first kiss it would be my second but still. I'm so nervous but I dont understand why. I've known him since 5th grade. So why can't I do it?
You're probably nervous because you've known him for so long, you really like him, you've only gone out with him twice, and you're still new to the relationship and trying not to mess up. Relax! Opportunities like that will come again, many times, if you continue to see him. Don't beat yourself up for turning away or overthink kissing him; it'll freak you out. Go back to where you're just excited being with him, doing stuff with him, getting used to dating him, and you'll have many awesome future kisses =]
if i was pregnant,
what would i do about my belly button ring? could i just get one of those bendy belly button rings? or no?
andd...
what should i do about cheerleading? in a varsity cheerleader for my school.
also...
what should i do about school?
If you were pregnant you'd have the option to either have an abortion, give the baby up for adoption, or keep the baby. I'm assuming that you're forgoing to first option, so =]
I'm sure the bellybutton ring would still fit, since people with a few extra pounds wear belly button rings, though I wouldn't be able to say for sure.
About school: you should probably tell guidance councilors/teachers about the pregnancy either now or when you get comfortable/it starts affecting your schoolwork. For now, keep doing whatever you already do (minus alcohol, if you drink it), though it may be a good idea to ask teachers if you could study ahead in the course if you are worried about falling behind in the future. You're a little lucky that the last few months of your pregnancy will be in the summer, so you could probably stay in school and keep up with classes for this year. For cheerleading, I'd recommend to stay on the squad until the pregnancy affects your performance noticeably. You can work out while pregnant - one of the top ranking volleyball players in the US did in something like her sixth month of pregnancy, and you couldn't even tell she was pregnant.
You'll only really have to miss school at the beginning of next year. To make it easier for you to get back on top of things, my personal opinion would be for you to give the baby up for adoption, since it is a lot of work to take care of a baby and (this is not meant to be offensive to you or anything) someone who has grown up, bought a house, and found a regular job could probably take care of your future kid better than you could. If you make the decision to keep the kid, you could always do something like take a lighter courseload, or go to an alternative school for teen moms to make it easier. Otherwise, if you found someone else to take care of your future child, you'd just have a month or whatever of school to catch up on, which is a pain, but it happens to different people for different reasons, and once you speak to the school it shouldn't be a big deal.
how do most people under 21 get alcohol. i dont drink but some people in my grade do and i dont know how they get it. any ideas?
It's either because there's alcohol already in the house, someone else buys it for them, or they use a fake ID.
Hi, I just completed a 2 day CPR FIRST AID COURSE! I loved it, i really like to learn new things that will come in handy and that i can relate to. I enjoy education as long as i understand what im learning and its not philosophy or anything like that. The point is I want to continue taking "Mini Courses" I was thinking swimming lessons, do you have anything in mind that is not like a long term diploma thing but i can get down in a weekend to like a couple of months? Im just really interested in educateing myself and want to continue. Any Ideas will be helpful. Thank You
courses related to this one are:
Bronze Medallion,
Bronze Cross.
Once you turn 16 (or if you are already) you can take other courses such as NLS and standard first aid. These will give you the training you need to be a lifeguard, and the pay is a lot higher than many other starter jobs (around 16 bucks an hour or higher).
i was wondering..im 15/m and like when ever my g/f touches me like puts her arms around me/hugs me i kinda get a little excited if you know what i mean..i mean i dont think about sex or anything it just happens..is that normal, and will it stop after a while?
There was another girl a while ago who was complaining that her boyfriend never "got excited", so I'd say you're okay =]
*EDIT*
It's completely normal for this to happen when you're not thinking about sex. It is, after all, purely a physical reaction that doesn't have to be attached to any sort of emotion (or thought) at all. Hopefully, if your girlfriend does notice, she'll be flattered. Your reaction to her hugging you will probably occur less often as you get used to it.
Ok me and my ex have been broke up since Nov 14th, I love her so much! but she is going out with another guy now who treats her like shit!! he doesnt even really love her. I want her back so much! me and my freind oliver were talking and he said "man she just told me like a week ago that she was finaly over you". the other night me and her were talking about our romantic memories i could name off 5 in great detail, but she couldnt. She has started to smoke to and I HATE smokers. And she said that its an escape. But i really just think she is doing it cause her new boyfreind is, and hes a loser. I dont know what to do, i said told her that i thought i knew what the problem was, it was that i boerd her. And she said yeah i think it was, not trying to be a bitch. She said there was something about me that she still likes, it was that i held her. I dont really like that fact that me and her did nothing but she has oral sex with her new boy freind, but her told me she isnt going to loss her virginity to him. I just dont know what to do! help me! Im really consirned about the smoking, cause they wont be together for to much longer i know that and she might get addicted. So how can i help get her back and get her off smoking?
Btw she is a stuborn 15 year old who wont listen to anything, she will if i make a really strong point without getting mad. thanks
It's pretty safe to say that she has moved on. Anything now you try to do to get her back will only make you look desperate and undesirable. She's made mistakes lately, but she'll have to figure this out on her own.
The best thing you can do now is move on. Stop talking and seeing her if you are having trouble just being her friend/acquaintance/ex. Moving on, making lots of friends, gaining new hobbies, whatever - all that will likely make you more desirable to her than if you sit around waiting for her to come back to you.
If you wanted to make a strong point, you could always try saying something like "Look, it's okay that you've moved on and have a boyfriend now that we're broken up. But I'm worried about you because you've started smoking, and I'm worried about the way he's treated you. I'm worried that even though you may not be with this guy forever, you could be addicted to cigarettes for a long time. I care about you and don't want you to get hurt." If she doesn't listen to you, move on and find someone a little less immature.
Well me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 11 months. We have has sex before and all that stuff. But not latley because were both scared of getting me pregnate because alot of younge teens our age are getting pregnate. 4 of my friends are pregnate , thats crazy. When were alone we get the chance to do sexual stuff. We do these things alot ad i mean alot , but we dont have sex. I just want to learn how to control my self and no one tell me dont put my self in that situation because doesn work . anything i can do to keep a good clean relationship .
Being alone less often helps a lot, or at least, if you are alone, being alone where someone could come in at any moment, that kind of thing, helps. If you're not ready to give that up, you could try making some sort of verbal pact with him to stay abstinent. That way when one of you "gives in to temptation", the other will help stop the situation from progressing.
Something that you should really consider, though, is going on birth control (like everyone else suggested). The pill has a 99.5% success rate, the condom a 95% chance. It's true that abstinence is 100% effective - but that's only if you stay abstinent. Not having sex is a pretty good idea to prevent pregnancy, but going on the pill, or keeping a condom around, is a really good idea if you're worried about getting lost in the heat of the moment. A big reason why more and more teens are pregnant is that they tell themselves they won't have sex, so that when they end up having it it's unplanned and there's no birth control around.