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Living well.
I desperately need a way to get things out of my mind. I replay bad memories or moments in my head millions of times a day, I obsess over boys/friends, I can't handle being yelled at, I strive for order, and I get overly stressed all too often.
I have good grades, play sports, and eat healthy. Still I can't help but feel like everything is always going crazy in my head.
What can I do to get my emotions and this stress under control. I can never let go of grudges or let anything just 'roll off my back' Any ideas?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Sounds like you are struggling with obsessive compulsive thoughts and maybe some obsessive behaviors. Most people, who struggle with similar issues, repeatedly tell themselves that they have to be in control of every facet of their lives. Of course things always don’t go smoothly and it is not possibly to control the actions of others.
Learn to recognize what you can control and what you have no control over. Accept things as they are. There are two ways you can go about doing this, the first is to change what you constantly tell yourself. If you are in the habit of telling yourself that bad things should not happen to you and others shouldn’t do or say hurtful things to you, tell yourself that while you prefer for things to go smoothly, and always get along with others, you are capable of dealing with bad situations and conflicts with others. Secondly I recommend you start seeing a therapist or a school counselor.
Good luck.
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Do(try) not worry about whats going on. Its normal for your brain to go on emotional overload. From what I read, your kinda like me, you replay the bad memories wishing you could change them, learning choices you could have taken after its already over. To cope with that, I let my mind drift off. Whether it takes the path to happier thoughts or continue to show that possibilities I could have chosen is upon my mind alone. Writing out things in a private journal or blog tends to help too. Ill admit, therapy is a good choice, but I know too many who say it doesnt help much.
Your strive to order may also lead to your emotional overload because, no offense, but life is never in order. Your constantly surrounded by chaos and you dont have complete control over everything that happens, so you stress out when things lose out of your focus. Next best thing is learn to work with the chaos. Find the flow its going and take that flow and curve it to your whim.
Good grades, sports, and healthy habits are all great factors that should be practiced. But its not all that good if your stress management skills arent up to speed. Use that strive for perfection(order) to pressure yourself into working harder, grades and sport. It adverts the stress you experience to stress your releasing to improve.
Another thing to take in is to take all this slowly and gradually. Dont shove it all at once. Thatll cause more stress. Slow and gradual. Slowly push yourself to do better and gradually improve. You have to learn how to deal with stress your own way that seems effective to you. I cant really tell you whats best, its all a matter of what option you take and feel is the best way to deal.
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If you are concerned about this, a good option would be to talk to a therapist (I'd include guidance councilors in this, but I have no idea how helpful they are in your school). They'd be able to talk to you, figure out things that are making you more stressed, and help you change these things whether they be thoughts, behaviors, or bedtimes.
Aside from that, something that helps stress is working out a way to let go of your emotions. Personally, I find drawing, writing in journals, and listening to angry music while smudging pastels/singing along really loudly and terribly works for me, but yeah, whatever works for you. Two different approaches to letting go of emotion are either to get really stressed, really upset, really frustrated and then channeling that somehow (art, sports, poetry, journal entries, crying, ect) so it goes away, or getting yourself into a state of calm. For the second one, I recommend collecting lots of songs that are really relaxing and put you in a good mood, and getting into a habit of setting aside a time (say, 1/2 hour) a day where you can't worry at all. Put on the music, take a long bath, and read a book while eating white chocolate. Lie on your bed and just think about things (not worry, though) for a while.
Something you could try, if the worrying really gets out of control, is taking fifteen minutes to just worry. Write down everything, large and small, that's bugging you, bring up everything that you are stressed about. When the fifteen minutes are up, tell yourself that you can no longer worry. Look at your list and figure out which worries are not a big deal, which ones are unsolvable. Let these worries go after this, tell yourself they are not worth worrying about. Then, make a short list with one or two things on it of things you are going to do in that day. When you get worried about everything else that's bugging you, just remember that you are only going to worry about those one or two things.
As for the replaying of bad moments, you're going to blow things out of proportion. Try to step away from these replaying situations in your head to look at it objectively, and use your frantic brain skills to think of all the reasons why someone yelled at you, ect besides the reason that it is your fault.
Overall: one thing to remember. You can't do everything. Everything is always going to be a little off kilter. Once you make peace with this, life is a lot easier to handle.
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Well frankly i believe people can only find true rest and peace with God and themselves. I will just listen to music and think about things and myself and i just let go of all of it. The hard thing is you have to train yourself to stop caring about things that dont matter. Its hard but once you do it is great. You feel relaxed and at ease.
If you know God pray! and read the Bible. if you feel weird talking to Him cause hes not actually there (my friend feels like that) then try writing a letter to Him. explain whats going on in your life and ask him for help, peace, guidance, etc. if you dont know God maybe look into it if your interested.
If not then just try reading or listening to music, just laying there and thinking about things (but not stressful things!) and just relax. Learn to let go and say its ok. Thats the key. You could try yoga or something but i just stretch. i turn on music, stretch, read, pray, write, think, etc.
Once you learn to let go and become comfortable with yourself you will feel so much better! and everyday take time to go and do whichever works best for you. and make sure to get lots of sleep! sleep is amazing and my best friend and she can be yours too lol
Well i hope i helped and if you have any more questions please ask! :]
~HiChick~
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