HI!! Im a 27 yr old single mom that actually loves to give advice. Im very honest and will be blunt, however I will not hurt anyones feelings. I believe people need to be told the truth about things in order to be successful in life, as suppose to the cliche "I will tell you what you want to hear". I actually had a strong desire to become a therapist to work with mentally ill and/or depressed patients, but never finished college due to my pregnancy. I recently broke my foot so I now have alot of time on my hands.
So if you need a honest answer or simply someone to talk to IM HERE!!!!!! XOXO
Gender: Female
Location: New York City
Age: 27
Member Since: July 6, 2011
Answers: 24
Last Update: July 22, 2011
Visitors: 3584
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How do I deal with a break up, I dont know if hes forgotten me I dont want to forget him because our break u wasn't abotu soemthing bad but I always text him and he responds as if he doesn't want to talk to me and i really dont know what to do . And I am also loosing two of my closest friends one of them is named Jenny she didn't like my boyfriend and they had gotten in an arguement and put me in the middle. Now she thinks I am talking smack about her and saying she was the reason why we had broken up but that is a stupid rumor . My other friend is named Alfredo he is upset withe me because he says I have betraded him I did I do admit I did and he has every right to be upset but I just want him back . (link)
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Dear Friendship, love life and betrayal,
I can't even imagine dealing with all 3 things at the same time. That's alot!!!!!!!
OK so your breakup: no he didn't forget you. I know it feels that way cause he's ignoring you and giving you the cold shoulder, but guys deal with break ups differently that girls. And honestly the texting might be making things worse. I went through a rough breakup one time and I couldn't go a day with out calling him or texting him and he would ignore me and it felt horrible cause we were together for 5 years. I really thought like he moved on, forgot me or something but later on I found through he's friend that he was taking the breakup really bad and didn't want to hear from me. I don't know the reason of the break up but it looks like some space might work in your favor. Don't texted him and see what happens, I can almost guarantee he will calling you sooner or later.
Ok now with Jenny, there's 2 things you can do, you can either ask her to sit with you face to face to put the rumors to rest or you can write her a letter (if she wont talk to you). It's better to meet face to face so that it's just the 2 of you with out any other outside influences and she can see you are being sincere. If she is a true friend patching things up shouldn't be hard. But what's important is that you make the move of reaching out to end that drama.
And with Alfredo, this might be you toughest path. Even tougher than the breakup cause you know you messed up here. Betrayal is one of the worst if not THE worst thing you can do. But it doesn't mean you can't recover from it. Your gonna have to give him time for it to kinda "sink in." This is a person you should write a heart filled apology letter too, personally hand it to him and tell him when he is ready you would like to talk. Tell him how sorry you are, and how much you value you friendship and that you understand he needs he's space and that you want him to give you another chance and a fresh start in a friendship.
Good Luck with everything and take it easy :)
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i have a guy who sayd we are friends all his friends and mine say there is something more. should i make the first move or wait to see how he feels?
im 15 and i need to know before i embarrass myself (link)
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Hey, so if he's telling you that you guys are friends then let it be. Maybe your friends and his might be seeing the chemistry between you guys but don't let that take you to go over board. Just continue being good friends and if something happens let it happen naturally. 1. you don't want to embarrass yourself, and 2. maybe he's telling you that you guys are friends cause he truly wants a good friendship and might not be ready to "take it there." Good Luck
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ok im only 13 and ever since i have turned 13 i noticed that i have like stretch mark sorta things causin me not wearin my swimsuit bottoms
when i was younger i never had these problems i had a perfect body my doctor even said i did
well how do i get rid of them????? i want to have fun again and not be scared to show off my body anymore :(
thnx _dont be judgin me (link)
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stretch marks unfortunately are normal. However I totally feel you. stretch mark happen when your skin is expanding meaning your growing. try coco butter in the morning like after showering and at night before bed just to keep your skin moisturized and prevent more from coming out.
I know you don't want to hear this but its really hard to just get rid of them. they do sell all types of lotions that allegedly make them go away but they don't. and theres like a surgery type procedure too I heard being offered but I think your too young for that. In any case don't be ashamed of your body. Every girl has stretch marks even guys.
So for like right now keep your skin moisturized to at least prevent more and like I said i believe coco butter would work best. good luck stay beautiful :)
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My parents are divorced, so of course they have moved on. My dad has a new girlfriend who he spends all his time with when he's not working. he's never really been a dad to my sister and I so it's nothing new. He works 6 days a week, sunday being his only day off. It's a one way street with my dad and I. If I don't call him, I would go weeks with out hearing from him. I put in all the effort to have a relationship with him. He lives in the neighborhood next to mine, but sadly our relationship is completely over the phone.
My mom has a new boyfriend who works on a tug boat which means he's on four days off four days, I have a lot of alone time with my mom but I still feel like I can't talk to her because everything I tell her gets repeated back to him.
Her boyfriend who she's been dating for about two years was her best friends husband before she died of lung cancer, and my moms boyfriend was my dads best friend before he got with my mom. The whole situation is wrong which makes my relationship with my moms boyfriend a struggle, i'm nice to her boyfriend, but deep down I have alot of sadness and hate towards the whole situation.
My sister who's 19 now, has recently gotten into the partying life. Her whole life revolves around her friends, alcohol, and weed. She has no time for me either. I have no relationship with my her, we have nothing in common which leaves very little for us to talk about. I have tried to hang out with her multiple times but she's always busy. if youre wondering she lives with my dad I live my mom.
My step brothers (my moms boyfriends kids)
my oldest step brother whos 19 is autistic, which causes him to be more of a loner, he locks himself in his room from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. the only time he comes out of his room is to go to karate, to get food/drinks, and to check his emails. The only things he really says to me is "leave me alone" or "get out of my room" That's when I try to hang out with him.
my other step brother, he's pretty cool, but he's never home. He's also into the whole partying and hanging out with friends scene too. but, he's not as bad as my sister. He basically lives with his friends so he's not someone I can really talk to either.
My friends; I choose them very carefully. I have a hard time trusting people. I don't have alot of friends but I don't have no friends either. at school, i'm known as the quiet girl who's really nice. but, being at the age i'm at right now YOU have to put yourself out there to fit in. everytime I try to hang out with my friends, they're either "busy" or "grounded" or "with someone else" and then I have a few friends who only talk to me when they really need something.
A boyfriend? yeah I don't have one of those either. guys talk to me on facebook and stuff but in real life it's like i'm completely invisisble.
i'm 16, and I feel like I have nobody. I want a best friend or a boyfriend to spend all my time with I want someone I can tell everything too and invite over to my house all the time or even go hang out with them.
why is it so hard for me to have a connection with the people around me?
what can I do to change my situation?
everybody needs atleast one person they can talk too but honestly, I have NOBODY. (link)
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Im very sorry and feel your pain cause I went through a similar stage. sometimes I still do from time to time. I don't want to tell you talk to your mom cause she obviously has broken your trust with her. And Im pretty sure that feels shitty but for now you need to focus on yourself before tackling that issue. Have you ever thought of joining groups in school? like band or sports whatever it is they offer? something like that will give you the chance to take you mind off of some stuff for now and you could meet friends. Also I know this sounds scary but seeing a therapist will also help you guide your feelings to a positive outlook on how to deal with the struggles of life. A therapists will help you by having someone to talk to who will absolutely not judge you.
I know you said you are known as the quite nice girl at school, I don't know if your up for it but how about trying of breaking out of the shell a little bit? make some solid friends, etc.
One other advice that it most likely isn't the best advice but hey you never know, how about a weekend job. It will get you out the house for a while meeting new people and having some money for something you always wanted. I had a weekend job at your age and i loved being out the house and i meet tons of new people it was a good outlet.
So ultimately I hope you choose therapy and i wish you all the luck and love in the world. If you need to talk to someone you can always inbox me Good Luck with it all
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My family always asks me this question ... The dont understand why I don't like the world ... I
Not always mad only with her .. My mom I guess ... But how do I get over this how do I get help ? Is there med.s ??? Im 16 & I've cut myself more than once but what can they do is there anything that can help me I don't understand ? If I tell them whats going to happen with I go to jail , go into a rehab thingy , take pills ... ? Idk what will happen (link)
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NO you will not go to jail or to a rehab thingy. Im sorry your going through all this, it's alot for a teenager to handle. You do need help however, and seek it immediately. Don't be scared of things that are going to help you such as therapy and medication. I know what you are going through cause I went through something similar and it was very difficult. If your family is always asking is cause they care and are concerned, worried. try to confide in them and trust them so they can lead you to the road to get better.
Don't be scared, you are not going to jail, and they won't forcibly enter you in a mental institute unless you try to commit suicide or unless you want to go for treatment. so please talk to your family.
On a personal level, I used to cut too. but i was a little older than you already out of high school. I still have scars. I went to an institute 3 times in one yr. 2 times my choice and 1 time not my choice. It was really hard cause i couldn't explain to anyone how I felt, I just know I felt like shit and I wanted it to go away. I finally choice to get help cause i couldn't take it anymore and I desperately wanted to live a normal life. Now Im not gonna say it was an easy road but it was well worth it, I did go to therapy and took medication for about a year and I was able to get the help and move on with my life. I am telling you this cause I don't want you to think the worst. Instead think it really can't get worse than hurting yourself. I really hope you do the right thing for you. you can inbox me whenever Good LUCK!!
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i have a problem i am going to have an affair with a married man and he doesnt want to ejaculate inside of me during intercourse why is this and why does it bother me so much (link)
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Well he probably doesn't want to ejaculate inside cause he obviously doesnt want you to get pregnant. Getting pregnant will be an extremely bad situation for him cause hes married and ties with another woman.
Its probably bothering you cause your a woman that is having an affair with a married man meaning hes not your man hes somebody elses. Sometimes women get involved with married men cause they like to feel power, like they can have whatever they want almost like an ego thing, and the men like it cause these types of women are vulnerable and they can have their cake and eat it too.
This is just my personal opinion, I dont know you could be in love with the guy I dont know. However, be careful as what you do and always stay safe and protected. you can inbox me whenever you need GOOD LUCK :)
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ok um this guy (just turned 16) and he really likes me(im 15 going on 16) and i dont really like him but i wanna be friends, but to him its either date me or noting else. the reason why i dont is cus we already dated and there was to much drama and the day after we broke up i asked him whats up? and he said fucking me!!! also he pretends to be my one of my friends just so he can talk to me (the friend was a guy who likes me too and hess my ex best friend)..so my question is do you got any ideas on how i can deal with this hes my friends cousin (link)
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I agree with NEVER2BEALONE. you are very young to be caught up in immature drama. Your teenage years will pass you by and it will be wasted on trying to figure out if you should be friends with someone that is telling you its all or nothing. Good Luck :)
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Earlier this, I started liking this guy that was in a few of my classes. We are kind of opposites; I'm really smart, he's sometimes stupid, I'm a goodie goodie, he is kind of a bad boy. We texted each other around spring break and I found out that he was really nice and funny. When I was out sick a few days later, he texted me to check up on me. He is one of those boys that the teachers like but is mischievous. We would talk in school and had a few embarrassing moments like when he ran into me (literally) in one of our classes. I helped him out with a school assignment (which is how we started talking), and he made a big deal about how I helped him. When I told my friends that I liked him, none of them could seem to keep their mouths shut. In a few days, everybody who knew me at school knew that I liked him. I started getting weird notes (from his friends). His friends would keep asking me if it was true (I didn't say anything). One day, I brought dessert in for our class, and he texted me the next day about them. When I was on the bus, 10 minutes later, I got a text from him asking me out. My friend (thankfully) told me that it might not have been him, so I didn't reply. It turns out she was right. For the rest of the week, I kept getting notes and texts from his friends apologizing and asking me out again. It was so embarrassing because he never said anything to me about it. After those incidents, the texts and talking stopped. A few weeks later, he texted and called me to apologize, that it was his friends. We texted a little more that day, but since then, things have been really awkward. Did he like me and I messed things up or was he just being friendly? (link)
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It sounds like he was just being an typical immature guy. You didnt mess anything up cause in reality you didnt do anything wrong. He allowed his friends to play games with you. im not saying he didnt really like you but he's definitely stupid. So just let things cool off for a while if he really likes you he will grow some balls and ask you out eventually.
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so there are these guys that i flirt with alot and they are brothers, but they dont know that im flirting with both of them, i let it get outta hand, like lead them both on and now they both tell me that they like me and i have feelings for both of them too now i dont know what i should do they are both really nice guys. one is a year older than me and one is a year younger... im 16......please help!! (link)
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Ok honestly you should pick none. If they were just friends it would be easier to pick let the other down easy maybe even remain friends, however brothers, oh no girl you playing with fire. Plus you are aware yourself you let it get out of hand. The last thing you want is both to end up hating you and then each other, I think you would be in a bigger mess if you pick one or if you stay confused and continue to lead on, distance yourself and let things die down. see what happens, maybe you are meant to be with one of them but for right now, stay away. Good Luck!!!!
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Can the boy feel pre-cum n can it make u pregnant? (link)
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I'm a girl so I'm not sure if a boy feels it. I assumption is yes. In any case YES you can get pregnant with just pre-cum and you should always wear a condom. The best way to enjoy sex to it's fullest is by protecting yourself. Safe sex and peace of mind is the best.
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Im about to enter middle school and im stressed out! any advice? (link)
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Be yourself!!!!!!!! A new anything can and will give you butterflies in your belly but don't worry. Enjoy it all. Join in on school activities, getting to know new kids. Your gonna be fine by the time you know it you will be in high school, lol Good Luck ;))
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I'm 14. I'm supposed to be having the time of my life at school, but my life is anything but fun. I've never had a best friend.. and I'm far from popular. I used to be friends with a gang of girls but when I got close with one of them all of them were really mean to me and started ignoring me. They're the popular ones now. So I kinda became friends with these other bunch of girls but they ditch me all the time and I can tell they don't really care. I just started a new year of school, and I've been nice to everyone I know. And the popular girls talk with me like friends but they just start planning on hanging out even when I'm around but don't invite me. And today I was standing with the only girls who talk with me and the popular girls just called all of them and invited them to go to a movie in front of me but left me out. Like, WTF?! What did I do to make them go out of the way to make me cry? 'Cause I cry everyday and I have NO FRIENDS. Should I just die? (link)
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The truth is school is tuff and it will be tougher if you let it. First I want to say Im very sorry what your going through. I went through something similar around your age and I just felt like nobody gave a shit about me, etc. To quickly answer your question:NO!!!!! You should not kill yourself here are some reasons and some tips to survive what your going through, So listen up:
1. Do you really want to give up on precious life cause of some catty girls? Yeah this is a tuff question cause I totally understand you want to fit in and of course who doesn't want some friends to hang out with. But if they are being bitches towards you, forget them. Don't let anyone make you feel less of a friend or like your not cool enough etc. You are you and by the sound of it you sound very cool and down to earth. Be yourself do what you like, activities, sports, dance etc. where you can meet people that have the same interest as you.
2. Do you really want to give those catty girls the power of YOU?
Ok, so they are popular well known around the school etc. BELIEVE ME sweetie it is not the end of the world. You are way to cool and precious to even be close to give someone else the power. How about you do your own event and/or outing? Friday night comes around ask some friends to catch a flick. None of those friends want to then be-friend someone in your class that you never noticed. You will be surprised how many kids in your school are not involved in the "popular circle" or whatever. If you notice the popular girls are scooping in to take YOUR friends away, confront them. My point is, don't EVER let anyone have the power and/or control of your life, cause it's true you should be having fun not thinking of killing yourself.
3. If the popular girls wanna hate you it has to be cause your just that fabolous. The number one reason why people do things as what your going through is cause they have low self esteem and are purely jealous.
4. Now to tackle the hardest part, your parents. This is hard cause they gave you life and now say mean things. Im a mom and I cant imagine saying those things to my son, however I do admit how frustrating parenting is. That is absolutely no reason to make you feel horrible. I strongly suggest you call your own family meeting between you and your parents and express how you have been feeling and how that comment they made to you has affected you.
I truly hope you gain the will that you need to tackle all this. You are very courages and I hope I have helped you at least little. Please don't kill yourself, take it one day at a time and I promise things do get easier. If you need to talk or need more advice inbox me. Good Luck and stay strong. Don't let them get you :)
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growing up not having my dad around really messed me up. he never told me he loved me and as a result to that I have been on a search for love ever since. Ive been with all kinds of guys who abused me mentally physically and emotionally. I have been heart broken so many timetimes... How do I get over the whole "i neef love" phase ?
18F (link)
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At only 18 to realize the true foundation of your problems is very mature of you. You are still very young and tender but that only means the quicker and sooner you build your self-esteem the quicker you can start living your life for you.
You have to start loving yourself. All that... "im looking for love......." you can find it with yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Whatever it is. Also be vocal about your feelings about your dad to someone you trust, a best friend, your mom, maybe even a therapist.
Now, one thing you must never do is let no boy abuse you, Take advantage of you in any type of way, etc. Remember the past you can not change but you have the power to build your own present and future. You will get over it one day at a time. I wish you all the best, Good Luck!!!
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How do I apply my eyeshadow so it looks bold?
I try, over and over, to apply my eyeshadow so you can see it through my glasses. However, when I put my glasses on, it's really hard to tell that I'm even wearing eyeshadow, but you can always tell that I'm wearing eyeliner/mascara. I have blond hair, and blue eyes, so I can wear greens, blues, pinks, purples and browns. I like Covergirl and L'oreal the best, but I'll wear any brand. My skin isn't sensitive. Thanks to all who answer.
I hate the applicator brush, so I use a shadow brush. Here is my traditional makeup routine.
1. Moisturize
2. apply foundation with a powder brush (I HATE the sponge!)
3. LIGHTLY apply bronzer
4. Apply light mosaic face powder (to help lighten the bronzer, since I look like tanning bed gone wrong otherwise.)
5. Apply black liner. I do this so that the liner somewhat takes on the color of my eyeshadow
6. Apply the shadow. I use a light color for highlighting, then put the darkest color I want to use from my lid to my crease. from crease to brow is a lighter color.
7. Apply mascara
8. Blush
9. Lipstick or lipgloss, depending on what I want to use. (link)
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OK, first of all your makeup routine is all wrong. But its ok thats why I'm here to help. If you want your eyeshadow to be seen through your glasses here are my suggestions:
First of all a good primer is a MUST! A primer helps the eyeshadow stay pigmented and keep its color all day long. I would recommend Urban Decay Primer Potion in the clear color. You can buy this online or at Sephora.
Second I would recommend stopping by the Mac counter at your local department store. Mac eyeshadows have really great pigmentation and they are not that expensive compared to other department store eyeshawdows.
Here is my makeup routine:
1. Moisturuze
2. Apply foundation
3. Fill in eyebrows (if necessary)
4. Apply primer to the entire lid
5. Apply eyeshadow
Use a medium color for the lid, put a darker color on the crease to make your eyes pop, and a lighter color to highlight
6. Apply liner lastly in the inner top and bottom rim
7. Apply Mascara
8. Apply bronzer to the tzone area (nose and forehead) for a glowly look
9. If you dont want a glowy look apply blush to the apples of your cheeks.
9.Lipstick or lipgloss
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Me and my ex gf were in a long distance relationship for like 5 months and we decided that it was to hard to keep a long distance relationship at our age, were only 17 and couldn't see each other in person, so like less than a week after we broke up she had sex with a another boy and she knew i wanted us to loose our virginity together but i guess she couldn't wait. so I started to think that she was talking to this boy for the longest and was secretly cheating on me, but i don't know for sure,but were just friends right now and she texts me everyday, so should i just ignore her and leave her alone or just be her friend cause i don't think i'll get back with her any time soon. (link)
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Wowww I can't express enough how incredibly mature you are for your age. Young love is very difficult to deal, it's even harder at a long distance. Do what your heart says. If you need time to yourself then take it. Do the fun things you get to do at 17, you don't want to be 27 like me and look back and think what a waste it was to stress her. If you can be friends in the future(which I think you will cause you are very mature and rational) then thats great. In the meantime your young date around. OH and don't lose your virginity to the first girl you date, it's special when done with true feelings.Good Luck and stay sweet!!!! (trust me that will be an advantage in the future)
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I am a guy and I wanna babysit to make money but everyone tells me thats a womans job. What should I do? (link)
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Hey so I see how people would tell you thats a womans job, I have yet to see a guy in any of my sons daycares, however don't be settle for "your a guy blah blah....." start building credentials, rapport, and cliental by baysitting family first and spreading the word. Maybe working with a daycare so moms can see that your trustworthy. The secret is gaining the trust of parents, you dont have to be a girl. Good Luck!!
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i'm not together with with the father of my children and i don't let him near them. he is a very bad person; he dose drugs all the time, gets drunk, gets in fights, hurts his family, smokes, and doesn't have a job or an education. he loves me and our kids but he is easily made angry and he used to take his anger out on us; yell at me a lot, has hurt a few times, cussed and said very inappropriate things in front of our kids. so i don't want him putting the kids though that anymore. dose keeping my kids away from there father make me a bad parent? (link)
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NOOOOOOOOOOOO you are not a bad parent. You are doing wants good for your children. So many abused mothers even fathers stay with the abusive spouse cause of the guilt of being a bad parent. I know Im not anybody to you but i cant express enough you are doing the right thing for your children for them to have a healthy life that they deserve. Kids don't understand right now but they will as adults. Stay strong for your children it will pay off in the future. Best of Luck to you.
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i get very angry when my 2 kids fights and when i dont get what i want i always hit my kids why?
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You have to find help seriously. the reasons why you hit your kids has to do something with yourself, not your kids driving you there. As a mother and adult your kids look torwards for comfort and support, so you have to help yourself asap. The good thing is that you recognize you have a problem you dont want to be the reason your kids grow up fucked up. So please find help. In the meantime when you have the urge to hit, hide. go to the bathroom close your eyes and clam down. Good Luck and please love your kids dont hit them.
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My son is three years old, and he is very interested in going to the "potty" he has been ready for this every since he was 18 months old, but he is our first child and neither me or my husband has even changed a diaper before him let alone potty train. We have asked many other parents what to do or if they had any tips, and most of them say "oh, just go with the flow." or "He will go on his own when he is ready." and "I dont know you just do it." Amazing even my mother cant explain to me how to potty train a child and she has done it 6 times. My husband and I are completely clueless. We feel like we are failing at this becuase we have no idea how to do this and he wants it really bad. So my question is, How do you potty train a child? Are there any tips to make it easier for him? Please help And thank you in Advance (link)
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Hey don't be so hard on yourselves. Your doing a great job by just asking and acknowledging your son's urges. Ok, so everyone has different techniques, if your home most of the time just leave him in he's underwear not a diaper. the purpose is so he can feel the wetness if he does go himself. Take him every hour to the potty, or when you have to go yourself so he can see how the whole potty thing works. You can even have him in a routine potty session. right after breakfast, a bottle of milk, snack, lunch, ect, take him to the potty. When he goes make a huge deal,alot of hoorays, clapping, smiles, hugs etc. Kids love that it gives them the sense of achievement and will mostly likely do it again successfully.
Im a single mom I didn't read the books or anything I kinda thing my own thing and it worked with patience f course. some people may say go with the flow but toddlers dont know when they have the urge really cause they go in a diaper at any given moment. So try it for at least a weekend only diaper at bedtime. it will get messy but if he's curious all ready then he's ready (if that makes sense). Good Luck
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So my uncle has me watching the children for the week because they don't have to go to summer camp. Problem is he won't let me put them in front of the TV. All day so I need to know what to do with them. They were 8 and 6 (link)
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Hey so watching kids that age is challenging so you need lots of energy lol. Theres lots to do to keep them and yourself occupied but I strongly recommend planning ahead like the night before. With a time schedule too so you dont have any periods "what should I do now". have fun and good luck
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