Member Since: July 6, 2011
Answers: 9
Last Update: August 20, 2017
Visitors: 1695
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I'm a person who avoids conflict and I hate rude people because when they're rude to me I end up crying and thinking about it the whole day. Today a customer came up to me and asked how much a product was but in order to answer that I asked him which product because there was 3 different ones of the same one. Then he said did you hear what I said? I said no because I didn't want to explain why I asked which product cause I'm not much of a talker then he went on and said "in school do you listen to your teacher?" And I said yes then he said well then if you can't hear somebody you'll tell them to speak up I said "ok" so I selected a random product for him and told him the price then he said "I don't want that one I want the regular one" okay wtf then you should've answered that when I asked (of course I didn't say that) I said okay I told him the price of the regular one but as I was saying it he added somethings else but the only thing I could think of was him insulting me so then I asked him to clarify what he meant. Then he rolled his eyes and said see you're not listening again I said I wanted this and that. So then I said okay, I gave him his order and then he asked me if English was my first language I said yes. And he said "wow" and walked away. That completely ruined my day and I ended up crying and had a panic attack I also had to leave work early cause that's all I could think of. How do I deal with rude customers and not take it personally? Or what's a way to be polite but rude at the same time so that the customer can't report me to the manager. I'm 18 btw with social anxiety (it's gotten better but as you can see I can't handle conflict I don't know how I'd deal if it was more than one customer today) (link)
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I used to be the exact same way. I was young, avoided conflict like the plague, and was sweet to everyone. My self esteem was very low though. I was so nice to everyone because I didn't want anyone to hate me like I hated myself. I'm very sensitive too and suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, so if I got bullied by a customer it was not unusual to find me locked in the bathroom sobbing.
I hate that this is the answer, but I got A LOT better with time and experience. There's no real secret to dealing with it. It comes naturally for some people who don't have self esteem issues or who are good at not caring what rude things customers have to say. But for others like me, it's something we must work on because unfortunately, that's our job.
BUT on the other hand, know when something is above your pay grade. If someone is treating you far too bad, know when to stop and say "Okay it seems we aren't getting anywhere, let me go ahead and call my manager over to help us," or what have you. If they don't like the policy you just explained and won't accept it, offer to call the manager. It's the managers job to be there for you with these customers, so take advantage of that. Being low on the totem pole means you don't make the rules, you follow them.
For the small scenarios I will call on experienced coworkers. If you work with someone who's been there for years, run it by them. You may know the policy up and down but some customers don't want to hear your answer, so they want to talk to someone else who will give them their yes. They think someone else will bend the policy for them (makes me roll my eyes lol).
For example, when I worked at a gas station, people very frequently got upset about our prepay pumps. They could not pump then pay. They would always pull the "well I came here a month ago and someone let me do it" (they probably went to another station, our systems CANNOT do pump then pay, physically impossible) so I said "I'm sorry, it's been that way for a long time, we physically can't do it." and they for whatever reason didn't believe me. So I would call over Greg who worked there for 10 years and ask him "Is there anyway to avoid the prepay for our pumps?" Greg would say "None whatsoever. I've worked here for 10 years and it cannot be done." And hearing it from 2 employees helped the customer see, well this won't go anywhere, and accept the answer. 1/10 may still not hear it, so that's when you call the manager. You've done all you could, call in the big guns ;)
It helped me after a while to laugh it off. Think about how "wow, this guys life sucks so bad he has to yell at a nice gas station lady to blow off some steam," and think about how you always try your best for people. There is NOTHING else you could have done. Or if you made a mistake, everyone does! You apologized and were as nice as you could be, and fixed it. If someone is still screaming at you for it, that's their problem.
I did not get this way over night. Years of customer service slicing my heart and scabbing it over helped me look at everything with my job logically, not emotionally. You have anxiety like me, which is very unfortunate but for our quality of life, it must be worked on and you must learn how to make it okay. If it simply becomes too much, if you try and try and it's just too hurtful, try another line of work. Factory work doesn't require customer service skills, but it has its own pros and cons. Some people are more aligned with that, like my husband :)
Me, I know I have a knack for customer service because I'm friendly. But with that friendlines comes a sensitive heart. Just know if you decide to work on it, it gets a lot better. Just be patient with yourself, it takes a long time to change things about you, even if they're for the better :) Hope I helped somewhat
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Why was i a positive, hardworking student as a child and then just completely collapsed and became completely, extremely self-destructive from around age 16?
and how do i go back to being positive and successful in my life again? it's like i just want to ruin my life but at the same time i have goals? i'm lazy in the sense that i don't get things done, but when i do work i work harder than anyone else and go overboard. i'm not a perfectionist, i just want to do my best. but yeah i don't know why ever since my late teenage years i have just completely denied myself from doing things properly. i've failed similar classes many times over and over, i'm not exaggerating. counseling doesn't help. other people don't understand me and i struggle to understand myself. i'm not suicidal, i know that would be illogical and cruel to my family. i've just gotten to a point where even when i fail a class i just have no emotions about it. i'm just emotionless. i don't even have friends. i haven't had friends i regularly communicated with since 2012. it's been that long. i use my phone for apps and the internet. if i talk to others its co-workers at work, family at home, or random strangers on the internet. when i was a child i had few friends but i was still successful. so i know not having friends isn't a barrier. i was really self conscious and had major social anxiety as a child. nowadays i'm still fairly awkward but at the same time, i don't give a crap what others think of me. i t try to be courteous to others, though i do tend to shut people out. that's a big problem of mine. i just put off developing relationships a lot.
but fixing relationships comes second to getting back on track with college again so i can actually get into the career i want to go into. i used to be able to have a goal and make commitments. now i set goals and everything falls through. my family switched schools when i was 16 and i never fit in where i moved to, and i think that's part of the problem, but it's not everything. many people move and still are great students. i graduated high school a few years ago, i should be WELL over that
i feel like i'm over it, i don't care, it happened, i can't reverse it. ok so how do i continue and be a good student again like i used to be as a child? i try to think of that time a lot.. how i was different. i wasn't perfect then, i wasn't even always happy then. i was often lonely. but i was still useful as a person and now i am mostly useless and stuck in a useless cycle of uselessness
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My advice is to definitely see a therapist, if you can.
Depression can have a wide variety of symptoms. I'm not at all qualified to diagnose you, but coming from someone who's suffered from depression for many years now, it sounds much like my situation in the beginning. I graduated high school and had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do. I had already had some depression, but it turned into a kind of "quarter-life crisis" after graduation. I tried my local community college, but decided to give it a break since I got halfway to a Gen Ed associates then started failing class after class. All my motivation in life was gone, I loathed myself- I couldn't even practice self-care anymore. I hated myself.
What I'm trying to say is, depression is a dangerous, slippery slope and if you think you might possibly have it- please see a therapist. You may think it won't help, but once you try it and keep at it you'll see that it helps a lot. Not only is it a way for you to get those thoughts out of your head to be received by a professional 3rd party, but it also is a way for you to take initiative and care for yourself.
There might have been a "turning point" to get you here, there might not have been. Maybe it's been a long, downward slope. But if you stop it now and take some action for yourself, you won't regret it. Take it from me, the road of depression is a dark one. If you have a chance to stop it, it may save your life.
I don't mean to scare you or sound so serious, but it's such a personal issue to me! Hope I didn't get too carried away, and that my answer made some sense! :)
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Hey, so I have a group of friends, I consider them my best friends, there are 8 people and we sit together at recess at school and organise things outside of school.
The problem is that I feel like they're not like me. Recently there have been so many arguments over such small things that personally I would just let go.
They avoid confrontation and when they have a problem with someone else in the group some of them just b**** about them.
I appreciate that I have them but I just don't feel like I have a proper friend like a best friend.
For example I am at home sick so I am not at school today and same with yesterday and no one asked me how I was feeling or why I was away or anything. When it's someone else I make sure I ask how they're feeling and wish them to feel better soon and no one really seems to care that I am sick. In fact often when I am sick, I hear that someone in the group says that I am being over dramatic and I am probably not that sick and I should come to school. My friend is also sick today and I asked them if they were sick because they were on social media when usually they would be in school and they said yes, so I said "get better :)" and then they just didn't reply. I hoped maybe they would ask how I was feeling too but they didn't really seem to care.
I know that I shouldn't depend on others for my own happiness, and I enjoy spending time with myself and things like that but it would be nice to have a best friend.
When it comes to gatherings people always seem to organise things in groups of say 2 or 3 and I don't seem to be involved with that, I always seem to be the one to invite people to things.
Reading through this it sounds worse than it is, I do appreciate them and they are good people, their intentions aren't bad.
I don't want to unfriend them or anything because I like having them as my friends. But I also want to make some new friends. I'm afraid if I make new friends then and also be friends with them then I'll just have 50 friends rather than 8 best friends. I know someone in my group has kind of branched out and made more friends, now she barely talks to us and has about 50 friends but it doesn't seem that she has any close friends, which may be fine with her but that isn't what I want to happen for me.
What should I do? (link)
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I feel like you are a lot like me when I was in high school. I actually got really bad depression, partly from my friends behaving similar to this. It really took a toll on my self-esteem. "Do they give a crap about me?"
Looking back on these times a few years later, I've realized I was very mature for my age. Sure I could goof around and have fun, but I was always concerned about the wellbeing of my friends. I was like you, I'd always ask my friends about their lives, listen to their problems, ask if they were okay, etc. It never felt reciprocated. That department always felt like a one-way street. Later I realized... it can be very normal for teenagers to be very self-absorbed! Not to insult anyone, but still being friends with a lot of my high school friends, as adults (ish) they've gotten so much better at listening. I can talk to them now! I would have never thought that possible when I was younger.
To sum it up, you have a beautiful gift of a sensitive, caring heart. You have a talent for listening and caring for people, but I've learned this doesn't come easily to everyone (working in customer service, I've talked to people who STILL haven't learned this! ;]) Your friends might grow to pay more attention to these things, and they may not. But I'm confident you'll find someone someday you can talk to, and ask about your day. Sometimes maturing before everyone else can be a great thing, sometimes it can be a real bummerrrr. But I'm here to tell you with patience, it gets better. I used to talk to my parents about stuff, it helped me a lot. Try to find someone you can talk to, or even a counselor, that helped me too.
It used to make me sad and angry, but in hindsight I understand. I used think I was an alien or something because no one cared as much as I did. But you have a beautiful gift. I hope I helped a tiny bit! School can be really rough. I wish you the best of luck
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Okay so, my dream is to be famous. To be a singer/actress. But the things is, i get nervous and shy to sing in front of certain people or big crowds. I know im good, im not conceded or anything but i dont know why i get so nervous if i know im good? help? I dont know what the problem is. (link)
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Welp, being confident with singing in front of large crowds is like any sport you could play; it takes practice. If you don't act or sing on stage often, then you're not going to be very confident. You've gotta get used to the lights, the pressure, etc. Get desensitized, in a way. I'm thinking you're in middle school at least, high school maybe. What I suggest is that you be very active in your school's plays and/or musicals, join the choir, and any other activities like speech class, etc. Then, make other opportunities for yourself, like singing for your mom or your grandma. Making Youtube videos, take a dance or piano class, all that jazz. Sure, at first it'll all be extremely nerve-wracking. That's normal. But by the time you hit your junior or senior year of high school, you'll have been on stage so much and be so used to preforming for people, it'll be a breeze. I used to be terrified of preforming for anyone. But I did those things above, and then it got easy. My senior year, it was so easy to do the plays and musicals. Sure, I was a little nervous each time, but that's good, that'll keep you in check. But what was so nice was that I was so used to it by then, I could focus on having fun instead of almost wetting myself in fear (xD).
In summary, practice makes perfect, doll. ;D I wish you luck!
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Okay so i do the "Insanity" workout, and i have been doing it for a month now, and i run aswell to get more results and so far ive been losing so much weight and its been great, thank God. now i was just wondering, when i started it and half way through the third week, my muscles were sore and all, but now my muscles dont hurt anymore, like i dont feel sore after my workouts and i dont know why.. i do the workout the same way, i still work hard and all but im not sore, also insanity switches up the routine every week so my body isnt "used to the same thing " and im sure i dont need to try harder things because im already working my butt off, so does anyone have any idea why this may be happening? (link)
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http://www.ideafit.com/answers/if-im-not-sore-after-a-workout-does-that-mean-i-didnt-work-hard-enough
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im 13 years old and me and my best friend have turned into lesbians we have snogged fingered each other (naked) and we have had sex with a plastic cock (together) we get lingerine when we go shopping,but is this normal? should i stop? (link)
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I should forewarn you, I am a Christian, so my views an opinions may differ from yours. Also, yours is an opinion question, so my answer will of course be that; an opinion.
First of all, I believe it is incredibly wrong for one to suddenly claim one's self as a homosexual. I am not in support of homosexuality, nor am I against it. But I hate this "Gay fad" that's been spreading around. As if being a homosexual is glamorous and exciting, and a normal thing to experiment with. Let me tell you, it's not. When one feels as though they might be "turning" homosexual, it's usually a result from psychological hurt/trauma, or a need to rebel from one's parent figure(s). The small percent of individuals claiming to be gay who ACTUALLY are gay struggle with their thoughts, actions and their sexualities their entire lives. They don't suddenly have a gay epiphany, for lack of a better term. They don't just change their minds after being previously being straight. And frankly, the people that do this are offensive to the gay people who might've had to hide their sexuality, or suffer for it. The people who've had to fight to be treated fairly. People who use being gay as a risky, rebellious fashion-statement frankly make me sick. And I'm sure people who've been bullied and have suffered their whole lives for their sexualities don't appreciate it either. So, I don't think it is right for you to suddenly claim you're a lesbian. Not that my opinion is absolute. And although I don't know you personally, and I don't know your story, from the way your question sounded, it sounds like you just decided one day that you were gay. And that's offensive to a lot of people.
Now, your age. Thirteen, just turning into a teenager. Let me tell you, now that you're under-going puberty, your hormones are going insane, your body's changing, emotionally you're growing and changing, etc. So it is natural for you to have sexual urges. Because you and your best friend are both under-going puberty, and you two are probably close, she may have just been at the right place at the right time. My female best friend and I admittedly used to look up some pretty disturbing stuff on the Internet because of curiosity and confusion. Though never have we had relations. It's normal for people your age to be curious and to have urges. However, you succumbing to such urges in my view is a mistake.
You buying lingerie at your age is just not right. That's just shocking and honestly, wrong. You're thirteen. You should be focusing on school work, friends, family, and just plain having fun. When I was you're age, I was worrying about the next Pokemon deck coming out. Not buying lingerie with my lesbian lover. That's way too much for you to be worrying about at your age. Dating in general at your age is pretty ridiculous, drama-filled, and is often just a waste of time and pain. But having sex and buying lingerie is meant to be enjoyed when you're an adult, and of course for when you're married.
To sum it up nice and simple, in my personal opinion, buying lingerie at your age is not normal and is sick and yes, you should stop. Your "sexual confusion" and its normality depends on your definition of so. In my view, it isn't every day you come across someone in your situation, having sex with your female friend at your age, but then again it isn't unheard of.
If you decide you need some time to think or you no longer want to continue these actions, you should maybe separate yourself from your friend, or give some space, and just think your actions over. I recommend you focusing on other things, and just have fun with growing up.
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How long should yeast infections last? I went to my doctor and when she examined me she told me i had a yeast infection. She gave me a prescription for Monistat(which did not work.) then she gave me diphlucan (which also did not work) this Has been going on for about 2 months now. So is it possible for it to actually. Be a yeast infection? (link)
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I have the same problem, only mine has been on and off ever since I was a toddler. It feels exactly like a yeast infection, but it goes on and off for weeks at a time, and has been for forever. I always thought I just got a lot of yeast infections. But it has something to do with the fact that I sweat a lot more than normal people, and bacteria gets down there and... Well, yeah. Mine's also more sensitive down there than other women too. If you do or do not have this problem, here are some things that will help you either recover from your infection or cope with your problem. Use a non-scented body wash down there instead of scented, shower your body everyday, if not twice a day, with warm water. Also, apply Monistat or Vagisil, (My weapon of choice), as needed. If you really want to tackle the problem, douches can really help clean it out. If you don't want to spend the money on douches, you can mix vinegar and water and use that instead. (My doctor suggested that, so it is safe. Use little vinegar, more water.)
So those are some things I do to help solve those nasty infections. Hope I helped. Good luck!
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im 15 almost 16 and im not planning on having sex anytime soon but i was wondering if i should shave down there if i do, i mean i already do moslty but when i do it itches and is prickly and stuff, what do most girls do. any suggestions?
thanks!(:
Christina :) (link)
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I have shaved down there once or twice, BIG mistake. o-o;; It was terribly red and bumpy, and when it was growing back, incredibly itchy. I learned my lesson, and now I neeever shave down there. I simply trim it down with scissors. It, "Tames the jungle", if you will. XDDD! I see no problem in having a little hair down there. I don't think it should have to be hairless. So, that's what I suggest! Hope I helped. Good luck Christina!
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how can one be free from the spirit of liesbainism (link)
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(By the way you have worded your question, I'm assuming you believe in God. And I'm going to assume that you believe that there is no, "Gay gene".)
This is no easy goal, but it is an achievable one. There is no magical solution to this, it will take some self evaluation, and strength. But you can do this. A lot of the time, the causes that will subconsciously drive a woman to being with another woman are either from neglect from a mother figure, or a loss of self worth. You have to know, there is love for you, and you are worthy of it. If you feel at all worthless, you have to know you have love from your friends, and your Savior that you are indeed worthy of. :)) No one made you this way, but you also did not choose to be this way either. Millions of other people have this problem too, you are not alone. But part of the challenge is realizing the problem, and accepting that you have it. And look, you can already check that one off the list! :D
Whatever was the cause of your turning to lesbianism, you have to know God still loves you. He forgives you, and he will support you in the hard times coming your way. Support from your church or a group is essential. You are not alone in this, and there are people with experience who can help guide you. Healthy, friend relationships with other women can help the attraction diminish as well.
Also, you are a beautiful girl, and you need to realize that. There are good men out there who would love to be with you, and treat you with the love and respect you deserve. So remember, you're not alone, and God will be there to see you through this. Just remember you need to respect yourself, and believe you can do this. I'll be praying for you. I wish you the best of luck. :)))
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