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Why was i a positive, hardworking student as a child & now a useless adult


Question Posted Tuesday August 23 2016, 2:28 pm

Why was i a positive, hardworking student as a child and then just completely collapsed and became completely, extremely self-destructive from around age 16?

and how do i go back to being positive and successful in my life again? it's like i just want to ruin my life but at the same time i have goals? i'm lazy in the sense that i don't get things done, but when i do work i work harder than anyone else and go overboard. i'm not a perfectionist, i just want to do my best. but yeah i don't know why ever since my late teenage years i have just completely denied myself from doing things properly. i've failed similar classes many times over and over, i'm not exaggerating. counseling doesn't help. other people don't understand me and i struggle to understand myself. i'm not suicidal, i know that would be illogical and cruel to my family. i've just gotten to a point where even when i fail a class i just have no emotions about it. i'm just emotionless. i don't even have friends. i haven't had friends i regularly communicated with since 2012. it's been that long. i use my phone for apps and the internet. if i talk to others its co-workers at work, family at home, or random strangers on the internet. when i was a child i had few friends but i was still successful. so i know not having friends isn't a barrier. i was really self conscious and had major social anxiety as a child. nowadays i'm still fairly awkward but at the same time, i don't give a crap what others think of me. i t try to be courteous to others, though i do tend to shut people out. that's a big problem of mine. i just put off developing relationships a lot.

but fixing relationships comes second to getting back on track with college again so i can actually get into the career i want to go into. i used to be able to have a goal and make commitments. now i set goals and everything falls through. my family switched schools when i was 16 and i never fit in where i moved to, and i think that's part of the problem, but it's not everything. many people move and still are great students. i graduated high school a few years ago, i should be WELL over that

i feel like i'm over it, i don't care, it happened, i can't reverse it. ok so how do i continue and be a good student again like i used to be as a child? i try to think of that time a lot.. how i was different. i wasn't perfect then, i wasn't even always happy then. i was often lonely. but i was still useful as a person and now i am mostly useless and stuck in a useless cycle of uselessness





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gravitytiger answered Sunday August 28 2016, 2:31 am:
My advice is to definitely see a therapist, if you can.

Depression can have a wide variety of symptoms. I'm not at all qualified to diagnose you, but coming from someone who's suffered from depression for many years now, it sounds much like my situation in the beginning. I graduated high school and had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do. I had already had some depression, but it turned into a kind of "quarter-life crisis" after graduation. I tried my local community college, but decided to give it a break since I got halfway to a Gen Ed associates then started failing class after class. All my motivation in life was gone, I loathed myself- I couldn't even practice self-care anymore. I hated myself.

What I'm trying to say is, depression is a dangerous, slippery slope and if you think you might possibly have it- please see a therapist. You may think it won't help, but once you try it and keep at it you'll see that it helps a lot. Not only is it a way for you to get those thoughts out of your head to be received by a professional 3rd party, but it also is a way for you to take initiative and care for yourself.

There might have been a "turning point" to get you here, there might not have been. Maybe it's been a long, downward slope. But if you stop it now and take some action for yourself, you won't regret it. Take it from me, the road of depression is a dark one. If you have a chance to stop it, it may save your life.

I don't mean to scare you or sound so serious, but it's such a personal issue to me! Hope I didn't get too carried away, and that my answer made some sense! :)

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