I'm not nice to everyone. I'm honest. I see too much B.S. on this site where people try to make people feel better instead of telling them what they really want to hear. Go ahead, rate me low. Try the advice that girl who told you to "just stay positive" gave you. Just know that I'm laughing at your failure. I speak Spanish and Portuguese, so if you are a native speaker of either of these languages, feel free to ask in your native tongue, I'll do my best to respond in them.
Hablo español. Si prefieres mandarme una pregunta en español no hay drama. Te respondaré en tu lengua nativa.
Falo portugués. Si você quer enviarme uma pergunta na sua lÃngua nativa. Está bem.
my profile goes crazy whenever I try to post letters that aren't english. The spellings are correct, just try to figure out what they are. Sorry in advance.
I speak these languages, but if there are problems with my grammar, please let me know. My experience comes from:
Spanish-Argentina
Portuguese-Brazil
Member Since: February 10, 2009
Answers: 38
Last Update: August 9, 2009
Visitors: 2789
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Does anyone know why my parakeets nose might be looking dry. I have 2 and one's nose is nice and pink and the cockatiel's nose is looking pretty pink but a different shad (as it's always been) So do you think maybe she isn't drinking enough water or something or is it too hot? Any ideas? Thank you. (link)
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I'm not a parakeet expert by any means, but I'll try to point you to someone who is. Try birdhobbyist.com. I use the reptile counterpart (kingsnake.com), and they have lots of breeders and vets that get on regularly to answer questions of this nature. Also try googling parakeet care sheets.
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i think i am suffering from depression honestly and i would like to be put on antidepressant of some sort... i was wondering if you go to the doctor and ask about depression and the pills will they make your take a drug test? or will theu just ask you if you use drugs??
I NEED TO KNOW SOON PLEASE (link)
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You don't need to take a drug test to get antidepressants. However, a lot of drugs cause depression as a side effect. If you are using any illicit drugs, I would stop and see if your depression goes away. Any future drug tests won't matter as long as you have a prescription for antidepressants and you tell them before you have the test. If you're between the ages of 11 and 16 depression is normal so I would encourage you to try and stay positive and wait it out, but the meds can help. Good luck.
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I'm attempting to lose some weight before the summer starts so that i don't have to lose as much during the summer. Is 26 pounds a reasonable amount to want to lose in one or two months? If not, what's a reasonable amount? Also, what are some good ways to try and lose the weight? I'm not in any sports and my life is pretty sedentary so i need some help with this. Thanks in advance! (link)
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26 pounds in a month or even two is not really reasonable. I would shoot for around 10 pounds the first month and expect significantly less the second month (anywhere from 4 to 7lbs). I try some weight calculators online to find out just how overweight you are. From my experience, it's reasonable to expect .5 to 1lb per week for every 10lbs overweight you are. I recently lost 15lbs in six weeks. I was very overweight and am still about 30lbs above where I need to be. You really need to start reading food labels to figure out how many calories you are consuming. Cut all fast food and sodas out of your diet. You need some exercise. Walking or playing sports at least 3 times a week for at least half an hour will help you lose weight. I'm having a lot of success. If you tell me your height and weight I can help you develop a plan that would fit you.
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what would be considered "bad" or "good" brands of beer? (link)
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Bad, as in low quality
Natural Light, Keystone, Miller Light, Budweiser
Good, higher quality
Sam Adams, terrapin, Guiness, Stella Artois
These are debatable. Some people prefer the more watered down American beers such as Miller and Bud, but high quality usually refers to a stronger beer with a more hoppie flavor. It really comes down to preference. Heineken seems to be a good middle ground.
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i have this friend, N. shes on medication for depression and goes to see a theropist once every week or something. her mom is an alcoholic, and that being said, N drinks and smokes pot mostly because her mom wouldnt like it. her mom also emotionally abuses her and yells at her all the time, and their level of communication is -10. N sometimes gets on my nerves, for instance: she'll call herself a junkie because she took a sleeping pill and liked the effect. she'll call herself a stoner because she'd smoke a little weed every night for a week and get kind of high, and actually thinks shes addicted to it. and she'll call herself a slut just because she made out with someone she wasnt dating. she tries to be all these things that shes not, just to get on her moms nerves, or just to go against her wishes.
and usually when she does this, im very cold to her and give her short replies to her questions and stay mad at her for a while.
well, tonight, i guess it all broke loose. she took 5 shots earlier before going to church to see her best friend, S. S and N have been best friends for a long time, and they both come from disfunctional families and get along great and always have fun together. N's mom doesnt like S because she thinks shes a bad influence on her daughter, and therefore wont N see her. N has been upset about this for a long time, and her relationship with S has gone down the drain because of it. they still talk, but they arent best friends anymore. N had a fight with her mom earlier and texted me about it and i was still mad at her from something stupid she said earlier, so i wasnt there for her when things were going bad. next thing i know, N is texting me, telling me "goodbye" and saying she loves me and that shes sorry for everything. we had just started texting, so i was confused as to why she wanted to say bye...
i called her up and she was bawling her eyes out and was about to kill herself. i offered to ask my parents to come and get her, but she said it'd just make things worse with her mom. i didnt know what else to do! i couldnt give her any advice, and my mind just went blank. all i could tell her was to not do anything she'd regret, and that i love her. i made her promise she wouldnt OD on anything, and we hung up. ive been kicking myself in the ass for this for hours. i dont know what else to do.
what can i say to make her feel better? all her friendships have gone to hell because of her mom and her mom is ruining her life and i dont know what to do or say to make her feel better. i just feel like a bad friend because friends are supposed to help eachother, but i cant help her! what do i do?!?!?
*sorry this is so long, but it was a long story.. (link)
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I would say she's acting out in rebellion against her mom, well obviously, but anyways. What she really needs right now is a parent figure. As her friend you have the ability to do it. By calling herself a slut, addict, etc. she's trying to get attention possibly attention she feels like she isn't getting at home. Just ignoring her when she acts like this is better for her as it doesn't reinforce her desire to grab attention by downplaying her own character. Support her, let her know that you're there for her, and most of all let her know that you don't support a lot of the things she does. Compliments will go a long way to boost her self esteem. I have a good idea about what age you guys are and I have to say it's a fairly normal phase. Emotions run wild and people look for outlets in every way possible. Just stay positive with her and don't let her beat herself up too much. It will get better in a few years.
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how did cavemen.,.,i mean cave-girls deal with their periods? like we have pads and tampons, what did they do. I have always wondered. (link)
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More than likely they didn't. Some other animals bleed vaginally often signifying that they are in heat i.e. ready to breed. You have to understand that people were much less developed during these times and many of the social stigmas that exist today were nonexistant. A cavewoman walking around with blood dripping down her leg probably didn't even draw a second glance.
Then again, we have no way of knowing since nobody alive today can attest to this.
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18/F
I have noticed that everyone has their own little ways of soaking up attention when they lack it in their childhood or something, for instance if they do not get enough attention from their parents or something some people might feel the need to wear really extravagant clothes, some people do a certain activity that gets them attention, some people behave badly... etc; well, I personally for some odd reason find this in injuries. Ever since I was little I have always really wanted to break an arm or a leg or something, something that people would pay attention to... Like I wouldn't care about the pain or anything, I just have always wanted somthing like that to happen. I know it is terribly wrong, I know that some people really suffer from that kind of stuff, but for some reason I just can't stop... Recently I sprained my ankle pretty badly (for real) and I was on crutches for a few days, and I like REALLY didn't want for my leg to heal so soon. Sometimes I find myself hoping that I will somehow get in a car accident and get hurt or something... And like I said, I know that is TERRIBLY wrong, and i would never do anything like that to myself on purpose, but I just find the attention that I get for it so rewarding... haha, I know this probably sounds really weird... I just wish I knew a way to stop thinking like this, because obviously if something really bad really DID happen to me I would be pretty miserable...
thanks (link)
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You more than likely suffer from Münchausen syndrome. Here's a definition.
Münchausen syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves.
It's a way people get attention. They don't actually enjoy being sick/injured but rather the attention they receive when they are/think they are. A psychologist could probably help you with this and I would consider seeing one if it ever gets to the point where you actually consider intentionally hurting yourself. If you get to the point of habitually injuring yourself, fairly soon doctors and hospitals will refuse to treat you. You do not want to be diagnosed with this disorder.
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My mom and mother in law both love plants/flowers. there homes dont have alot of natural sunlight and they dont have room for a HUGe plant. i want to get them each a plant/flower that will last a VERY long time but is easy to take care of and doesnt need alot of sunlight. Must be indoors. if suggesting a plant plz try and think of something that blooms nicely with color. Thank you for your opinion/advice! (link)
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Kudzu
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what are the implications of a 26 year old guy dating an 18 year old girl? i know its not illegal but is it okay, acceptable, could it ever work out? what if love was involved? (link)
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It really depends on the situation. The most common reason why it's frowned upon is not necessarily because of the age difference but rather because both people are probably at very different points in their lives. An 18 year-old should be headed off to college and thinking about their future. Whereas a 26 year-old should be done with that and moving forward with their lives. I'm not going to say it could never work out because anything is possible, but think about how many relationships fail today even when things seem to be perfect in every way. Consider it, but I don't think it's unacceptable.
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I've worked out Sunday, yesterday, and today. I've been home for about twenty minutes now and they're still tingling. My friend suggested poor blood circulation or a heart problem? Just wondering if I should be cautious of this.
Thanks! (link)
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It depends what you did. If you were lifting weights or doing cardio on a machine that requires you to grip something tightly (i.e. elliptical, rowing machine) you could have temporarily cut off circulation to your fingers. It may take all afternoon for them to stop tingling. Squeeze your hands and if that doesn't work, soak them in warm water. That should open up the veins and get circulation back to normal.
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I know that you said that I should just leave this guy alone, but I still have some questions for you...
When you told me that I should show him that I'm not perfect....WELL lets just say that he knows that I'm not perfect, heheh. I had told him about how one time there was a bad situation between me and my cousin's boyfriend. The boyfriend ended up fingering me and kissing me. Although my cousin doesn't know the whole truth [or any of it at all] about me and her boyfriend, we still denied that anything happened. But I know that she was very suspicious after that. They broke up probably a month after that, and then a few months later her ex came over my house again with my sister's boyfriend and tried the fingering thing again. He was very forceful and pushed me up against a chair, trying to have sex with me. But after I had told him seriously "No!" a couple of times, he backed off saying that he didn't want to hear anything about rape later.
All of this I told to JOHN, and he would make a few jokes about doing it to me later on. I know he's serious, but I'm scared that if that happens I might be tempted to have sex with him. So it kind of ties into the being standoffish to him. I'm scared that we'll get into all that and end up having sex. And me being a virgin, I'll know after that it's going to make me have extreme feelings for him. I'm also a Christian, and I know that this is all pretty much against it as well so yeah.
On a good note we talk about Christianity sometimes as a discussion. It's really wierd how we talk about that kind of stuff too. He's a Christian and he's dealing with his smoking problem, something which I'm constantly on him about. He doesn't mind it though because he actually discusses it with me and keeps me updated on how he's doing. My BEST guy friend told me that one time he was talking to JOHN about me, and JOHN was like, "The next time I go out with a girl it'll be with a church girl who will always be on me about smoking and stuff." My guy friend told him, "Well isn't that exactly what she[Me] is?" And JOHN didn't say anything....Just shrugged.
Anyways, I also have a problem with being forward because I'm always thinking too much about the consequences...About being hurt later on, about whether or not this will lead to something good, and whether or not I can kiss good. Hahah, I haven't much experience in kissing, is it something I should be worried about as well?
Either way, I just wanted to share this with you because I loved you advice so much from my last question. I don't even know if you have anymore advice for this question but it would be nice to know what you think. Just being able to talk about this to someone makes me feel a lot better about a situation even if it doesn't turn out good in the end. (link)
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I understand what you're saying, but he could still see you as being very innocent and pristine compared to either his sexual experience or sexual desires. I wouldn't say that's a complete non-possibility.
My advice would be to not think too much about the consequences. Have you ever heard someone refer to love as "taking the plunge?" It's because you can't just ease into it. You really have to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt or rejected to have a chance at a good thing.
Is it worth risking the pain? Is there anyway to make sure you won't get rejected? How can you tell if he's "the one"? People have been debating these questions since biblical times, and there's no way to tell if who's right.
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I noticed that you seem to have a lot of patience for others questions, and the fact that you are also a 19 year old boy makes things a lot easier.
17/F--JOHN-Boy/18
Long Post. I'm sorry I write a bit detailed.
Alright so last year I moved to a new school. There was a boy I didn't like at first but as I got to know him I got really sprung off of him[I'm not anymore though]. He showed that he liked me back, and we would flirt when we saw eachother. We only did a small peck on the lips once.
But this year I've gotten close to him as a friend and I know I like him a lot now for reasons....and I told him that I liked him and he told me that he liked me back and was attracted to me, but he wasn't interested in having a girlfriend right now...that it wasn't what was on his mind. We talk about it sometimes and really I'm the one who brings it up and still he says pretty much the same thing. Haha,you could say that I’m good with the family as well…I've gone to a resturaunt called Claim Jumpers with him, his mom and his 5 year old sister...and I've also been to the store with them a couple of times. She likes me a lot. He told me that his mom was talking to him about girls once and she asked, "Well what about that [my name] girl?" For a mom to ask her son about a girl....Shouldn't I be the perfect one for him? And why can’t he see it?!
We have this wierd relationship, where I know I'm the perfect on for him but he just doesn't seem to like me as much as I do him. I don't even know if I want to go out with him or anything right now because I don't really feel like going out with someone. I already told him that I wasn't asking him out one time, and he said that he knew I wasn't. I said that I would never ask a guy out because that was stupid, and he said, "Well all the girls I've gone out with they've asked me...." I looked at him grinning, and asked, "You're used to having girls come after you aren't you? Who do you think you are?" He just laughed and shrugged.
I'm not used to going after boys because I have a bit of a pride kind of thing. I'm not concieted but I have quite a lot of confidence in my looks and I'm used to having guys chase after me, so this one is new for me. Maybe like a challenge. I feel like the other girls at my school let guys run all over them, and I refuse to be the same. I have mostly guy friends, and only a couple girl friends [I don't get a long well with girls] which is what I'm known for. However mostly everyone knows that I'm a virgin, so they can't say anything about me. I know I'm probably the girl that he sees the most on a daily basis, and I'm a close friend. Sometimes he'll buy me food and things and I don't have to ask. Sometimes he'll act protective over me and say, "this is my woman" or something like that haha. And I constantly give him advice on things that I feel he needs to change. We agree on a lot of things and we've never gotten into an arguement EVER. I feel like he has a lot of respect for me and we have even talked about me being a virgin and told me that I need to stay a virgin until I get married.
He has this stupid nickname for me , that he'll sometimes call me in front of other people, and the school's trainer even asked if he was my boyfriend. Recently he started smacking me on my butt when he walked by, and say, "Hey babe" and I would be like, "Hey!" But then when I told him later, that I didn't mind that he did it because I like him, he was smiling and asked, "You let me get away with it because you like me? You shouldn't do that...Some guys might take advantage of you." And after that he stopped doing it. My BEST guy friend was like, "I think every person has someone that they would never "grease" [to do someone wrong, make them look stupid, be rude to them]...And I think you're his person." That meant a lot to me, and I feel like I'm really important to him, but whenever I talk to him about me and him, I feel like I'm not as important as I thought I was. It's not that he says anything mean, I'm just always expecting him to act more than he does.
So Saturday on Valentine's Day he pretty much brought up the idea of me coming over and I said I would. Usually I think he's joking about it, or sometimes he makes hints that he kinda wants me to come over, but I usually say I have to go home. My mom's pretty strict. I then discovered his family wasn't home and I've never been over his house alone with him. So anyways, we were just talking and then he went to go shower, playin around telling me he wanted me to join him. I laughed and said you wish! And he was like, "I'm serious!" But I just laughed it off. He isn't very forward it seems, like he gave a few signals that he wanted to kiss me but I was thinking too much about what it would mean. I have this thing where I feel like I never want to be taken advantage of, so I want to make sure that it'll never happen. So we were laying down on his bed just watching a movie, and I was just laying on his shoulder. Then I started talking about us again and asked him, if we were ever going to talk or be anything more than friends. Not now, just maybe in the future." He said that he didn't know. He’s not talking to anyone right now either. I also asked if there was any other girls that he would think about going out with before me, and he said that he hadn't really thought about it. By this time I was thinking, "How can you be a boy and really not be thinking about this kinda stuff?!?!" I asked if it was akward and he said not really. It was probably more akward for me than it was him. So then I told him, “well I feel like I’m waiting for you, like I always have this feeling something will happen in the future between us. But you keep saying you don’t know….Should I just stop liking you?” He looked at me as if he had never heard a question like this before, “Well…I don’t know…If something comes up and it happens then I guess…. “ I then told him that I didn’t want to do things with him that would make me like him more, because I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. he laughed and was like, “what would you want to do?” and I said, “everything but not if I’m not going out.” He looked at me with big eyes, "Everything?" I laughed and said, "If I ever asked you to have sex with me, would you say yes?" He was like, "...Probably!" Either way, I left on good terms with him, a big hug but we didn’t kiss or anything [partly because I kept holding myself in fear that I didn't know how to kiss].
Still, I feel as if I was just too easy for him and I’m kinda giving up on him as much as I don’t want to. My mom says maybe if I stop chasing him, and he sees me started to fall away from him, he'll be like, "Wait come back!" I wonder if that's true...I think that maybe he's just used to me always being there, like I'm kinda of like a sort of security for him. And I think that's really what I want him to be for me, but he's so confusing! I think he's also not used to chasing after or pursuing girls, and I wonder if he just doesn't really know what he's doing.
What should I do? And [Guys] do you think I was too easy for him?
And how do you think he feels about me?
(link)
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Your situation sounds like a situation I had with a girl a couple years back. Try to keep an open mind when listening to the situation from my (the guy's standpoint) and see if the two situations are as similar as I imagine they are.
I had a friend who was a little over a year younger than me, and the day I met her I thought she was honestly the most gorgeous girl I had ever met. We clicked immediately and I got to know her extremely well.
We were on the same page everywhere except for sexually. She was pretty much innocent in every way, and I was less innocent (much less so). Anyways, I felt bad about pursuing her as a girlfriend, so I started to view her as more of a friend or someone i needed to protect.
I considered her to be a person I needed to watch out for and take care of and essentially abandon all sexual desires for. She constantly hinted at wanting more, but I was fairly stubborn and didn't take the hints.
Anyway, the story ends with me eventually caving in and us dating for about a year before I moved (to another country) and the relationship became an impossibility.
What I'm trying to say is that it's obvious the guy cares about you. He may joke around about sex with you (I did it with this girl), but he doesn't mean it seriously. I think he wants to protect you from everything (including himself) so he's very reserved on all fronts.
If you want him to like you, you may have to show that you're not as perfect as he perceives you. That would be a matter of how strong your morals are. It's not easy for someone who really wants to be sexually active to enter a relationship that is not physical beyond first base. On the other hand, it would be hard for you to maintain your moral standards whilst constantly being bombarded by his desires for more.
My advice is to not pursue a relationship with him at this point. I know you like him. I know it looks like it would work on paper, but I also know from my experience that the odds are stacked against you in the long run. If I could bend the course my life has taken me, I would have waited to engage in a physical relationship with that girl, and we might have stood a chance.
Enjoy the friendship you have with him, and maybe it will go somewhere, but that needs to be at a time that you both feel is right. It sounds like you have a guy that genuinely cares about you and isn't looking to get in your pants. It's a good situation most girls never experience. Take advantage of it.
Also, to your last question, I think you're being too standoffish if anything. From what you have said about your interactions with him. It sounds like you've verbally told him you want to take the next step, but you aren't demonstrating that to him. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck.
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hey i was hoping maybe you could help me understand this guy and why he did this to me..
Also i am not sure but I feel like i have asked you a question about this same sitation before, im not sure if it was you or someone else..well anyways, if it was you, your advice has been the most helpful to me than any other adivce ive gotten. you are very helpful, i thought you should know that.
well there is this guy who is a year younger than me, i am a sophmore he is a freshman [in highschool] who is friends with my friends brother and i met him at her house back in december. weve been talking here and there on facebook and i saw him again at their house in january. after i saw him there we would talk and he told me how he really wants me badly [only in a sexual way] and how he wanted to do all of these sexual things with me [i think he was just going to use me] also something else that is weird is that he likes this girl who lives an hour away who he only sees once a year and im pretty sure they are going out. but anyways i didnt think he cared if he had a gf so far away and talked to me like that too..because he is very low and shallow and once called himself a pimp. one night we were talking and he pressured me into sending a picture, he said hed be mad if i didnt.. but it wasnt a bad one i had clothes on..but after i sent them i looked at his fb wall and that girl had wrote, I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! so i think they are going out. and it bugged me because he was talking to me like that WHILE he was saying "i love you" to that other girl? i dont understand. but anyways, about two weeks ago I IMed him because he hadnt IMed me since i sent those pics and i was confused. and basically the first thing he said to me was, hey i love your rack. then i go, thanks haha. and he sais, no your supposed to say i want your dick in my mouth. after i read that i started shaking. because i knew this was it. i knew if i didnt agree to that, he would stop talking to me. but i just COULDNT agree! i mean what on earth makes him think that is normal?! we are not going out, ive only seen him twice, he does not like me. i think he has a gf. that would be so messed up. and so our whole conversation was him begging me to give him a bj. i kept on saying no i dont think so sorry but he kept asking and making me feel bad..at the end of the conversation he just said i want a deep throat from u sexy ;] and then he said for me to text him. so i did. but his phone was off and he didnt get it until two days later but then never responded..so i was really confused because at the end of the conversation he didnt seem mad since he put a winky face after he wrote that..so i didnt know why he wasnt talking to me..
so JUST NOW i decided to IM him..only because we havent talked in two weeks and i dont understand why..i thought maybe its because he hadnt seen i was online at the same time or something. so i IM him and all i get from him is, hi
which is weird because i always get a hey. and HE usually IMs me first.
then i go, whatsup
and he just never answered. what the hell did i do. i mean i know that he has friends that go to my school and i feel like MAYBE his friends said something about me to him or something? i dont think so..i think im just paranoid. but i mean he didnt treat me nice at all or anything but i just dont see why he doesnt want me anymore, why so sudden. what did i do to make him not wanna talk to me anymore, i mean, two weeks ago he was like drooling over me and now its like he wants nothing to do with me. im so confused and i feel so bad about myself and so ugly. please tell me what it was that i did. im really so confused?! like..he always told me how badly he wanted me, he really wanted to do stuff with me, but now all of the sudden im just nothing? he doesnt even want to talk to me. i really dont know what i did wrong..maybe he thinks im ugly now or something because maybe his friends from my school told him im ugly. but im not ugly. i think i am kind of pretty. he told me im really hot. like all the time. so ..i dont get this. at all. i just feel stupid for IMing him now. and also for some reason i just cant stop thinking about him. i guess i just liked the attention, i usually dont get male attention like that and i guess it made me feel important. i really wish i was more strong, confident, and not so self concious, dependant on other people, and insecure. i also wish i could just get over him already. (link)
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I don't think I've seen this particular question from you, but I may have answered some in the past.
To me it sounds like he was only into you for the physical aspect. He may have seen you as someone he could get some action from with no long-term commitment. When you put your foot down and said that you weren't going to give him a blow job, he saw that it wasn't going to be as easy as he thought and backed away.
You shouldn't be worried about whether he's talking to you now. He sounds like a creep and a pervert, and I would strongly advise not communicating with him anymore. Also, if he's trying to cheat on his current girlfriend, why would it be any different if he were with you?
I understand that when you first get attention it feels really good, but if that's not positive respectful attention, it can have the opposite effect in the long run, lowering your self-esteem, and turning you into an emotional mess. Remember that confidence plays a huge role in whether guys find you attractive, so getting over him and projecting a positive self-image will do wonders with most guys. You may not see that now as most 14-16 year old guys are fairly shallow, but towards the end of high school and in college I promise you'll see things are that way.
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Is there a website where you can have a real person tranlate a text from English to spanish? (link)
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Yes, but you typically have to pay, and the translations aren't immediate (usually 24 hours or more). If you send me something I can translate it. I've studied Spanish for 7 years and spent almost a year in South America. I translate for the public school system in my city and work as a private Spanish tutor for middle and high school kids. These are some of my qualifications to translate, lol. If you want something more professional with a guarantee, just type your question into google and it will bring something up.
This is one place I found, but it's not free. Good luck.
http://www.tranexp.com/win/HumanTran.htm
Also a lot of discussion boards have native speakers willing to translate things for free, so browse forums and look for people doing this.
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Okay , So i am pregnant at 14!!! I am a christan and i no i was not suppoed to do this but i was broght into temptation.. and i am not sure how to tell my parents or my church family? Will i have to move to a different church? (link)
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At this point your major decision is what you're doing with the baby, not what you're going to tell your parents. They will find out, and if you have a plan when you tell them, it will be a little easier for them to hear. Either way, it's going to be bad. Expect crying, yelling, and the most disappointment you've face thus far in your life. However, if you can keep your composure and try to get them past the point of acceptance and to the point of planning as quickly as possible, things will go more smoothly.
Option one: abortion. Seeing as you're Christian, there's a good chance this option isn't there. It's a fairly simple procedure, but you don't have much time if you're going this route. If you want this, and if you're parents allow you to have one, you can have your life back, but I would urge you to seriously think about the consequences of sexual activity in the future.
Option two: Adoption. Giving a baby up for adoption is always a good compromise. You don't lose your entire life, and the baby gets to keep his/hers. An orphanage can allow you to still visit the baby and play a part in their life without taking much of a financial role in the baby's life. It's not as good as a family, but being raised by a fourteen-year-old is not a good situation for a baby either. Understand that if the baby gets adopted, the parents may request that you not visit the child any more, so that's a possibility.
Option three: keep it. If you think you're going to keep the baby, start applying for a work permit. As soon as you can legally get a job, get one. Understand that the next years of your life will be full of 80 hour weeks with little sleep and no free time. You will rarely see the child and you will more than likely put a lot of the responsibility of raising it on your parents. If you think you're strong enough to endure 10+ years of having school plus two or three jobs, then do it, but many people don't have the strength to do that.
With the guy, if he doesn't know you're pregnant, you need to tell him as soon as possible. A lot of people tell you to make sure he mans up, but I see it as being more an issue of giving him the right to contribute his opinions as well as those of his family to this child's future. He and his family need to get involved in decisions, and I urge you to get them involved ASAP.
With the church. It depends on how strict your church is. The community will probably be critical, so be expecting that. However, excommunication would only be necessary in some particular branches of Christianity. What happens here will happen. It's more an issue of what you and your family feel comfortable with.
Good luck and stay strong. Hope things work out.
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Warning: my question will be long and involved. Don't read if you're not patient.
In November, my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. Two, maybe three weeks later... I met this guy. We hit it off at first, but I made it clear that I wasn't ready to date yet and that we could only talk. He said that he was okay with that.
One weekend in January... We discovered that both of us had the weekend off, something that doesn't happen very often because both of our schedules are pretty crazy. So we decided to hang out one Saturday...
Our first date went well. There was a second date, then a third date, then a fourth date. After our last date... I realized that he wasn't long-term relationship material. V-Day rolled around... And I didn't bother to make plans. He didn't say anything either, so I figured that he wasn't as interested as I originally thought.
We're friends on Myspace. Late night, V-Day, I check my email and he's sent me a message. Basicly, he conveyed that he had wanted to see me that day but had said nothing because I hadn't dropped any hints. He also stated that he was interested in me, but wasn't sure if I was as 'into him' as he was 'into me.'
Since he seemed to want to to talk about the direction of the relationship honestly... I was honest. I tried to explain to him, in the nicest way possible, that I liked him but he really wasn't what I was looking for and that I wasn't sure if we would work out or not. I also explained that it was probably too soon for me to get serious with anyone, considering that in October of last year I was engaged and living with someone.
Several emails via Myspace were exchanged and there was a conversation. During these emails and conversations I got the feeling that he was disappointed, felt a bit foolish... And I tried my best to apologize and even made it clear that I did want to be friends. (Normally I wouldn't even attempt a friendship with someone I had dated in the past... But we only went on four dates and had only kissed a few times. I didn't think it would be a problem.)
The conclusion... He said that he would like to be friends but probably needed some space for a while. At some point I could tell that he was beginning to get really upset... But he said that he thought the reason he was so upset was not because of me, but because of his former girlfriend. (She died a year ago in a car accident.) He expressed to me that he had come to realize over the last couple of days that he really missed her, and his wanting to be close to me probably had something to do with feeling very lonely.
The conversation ended after that point. He sounded like he needed to be alone and there was nothing more I could say at that point. But I thought he and I were okay... Or going to be okay.
Later he sends me a text message saying that he's changed a few things on his Myspace page. I'm talking to a friend and checking out their page, so afterwards I take a look at his. One word: hostile. The comment, 'All women can kiss my *ss,' was posted in several places and there was one particular comment that was aimed at me, even though my name was not mentioned. I know that it was me because he eluded to something I had told him about myself.
Maybe I was just shocked because of the sudden, violent change of personality. All the time that I've been talking to him, he's come across as a very caring, gentle, and upbeat person. To see him suddenly change into a cynical, angry, hurtful person... Gave me a serious case of the creepies.
So... My first question is... Am I over-reacting? I mean... The guy has been through a lot and I can understand how he must be feeling. But his behavior just seems... Odd. Should I be worried?
And if I shouldn't be worried... Should I bother trying to be friends with him? After reading that one, particular comment... I was ready to call it quits. I mean, I've had some people really screw me over in the past, and I've never done anything like that before. Should I confront him, let him know that I was hurt and that I won't settle for such disrespectful behavior?
Thanks for reading. Please advise... (link)
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I think I can understand what he's feeling even if I don't entirely agree with his method of expressing those feelings. It seems to me that he probably felt very alone and very abandoned after the death of his girlfriend.
From there, in an already unstable position, he entered a relationship with you. He saw things as going well, the prospect of long term companionship, and a chance to start the rebuilding process after losing his girlfriend.
Then everything fell apart fairly quickly. You did the right thing being blunt with him, but understand that it was putting more baggage onto an already unstable guy. From there the mix of emotions tend to well up in a person. The way he's acting right now is not representative of his actual personality. It's coming from a person that's feeling everything from love to hate, loneliness and regret. The mind does not work rationally in these situations.
My recommendation is to just let bygones be bygones and go on with your life. Trying to be friends is nearly impossible in my experience, at least for the next few years. It would appear that things were going well, but he would still harbor feelings about you. He'll get better eventually, but he needs time to be alone or with his friends. Just going your separate ways is the best option for both parties.
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Hi, well see, I noticed a few questions that you answered, and you seem to know a lot about guys (haha, cuz you are one) and see well, there is this boy... He's really confusing me and I was hoping you could tell me whats going on from a boys point of view. He is 14 and you are 19 but maybe you could still help. As I said, he is 14 and I am 13, and we are in 8th grade. We have known eachother since 1st grade, and I developed a major crush for him when I was in 7th grade, but we never really started talking untill last summer. We talked A LOT and we really got to know eachother. Once school started, things got kind of complicated. People started teasing and for awhile he ignored me, which really hurt. I confronted him about it and his answer kind of confused me. He said that he really liked me, he just didn't want a girlfriend but that ignoring me was wrong, he said he was sorry for hurting me and that he didn't care what people were saying anymore. Things were better after that... Kind of... See we both liked eachother, we talked all the time (we are in the same group of friends so we hang out quite a lot and sometimes we talk past midnight online, about everything, it was all innocent). Our relationship was kind of go with the flow, my friends called us " the couple that wasn't dating". But I'm tired of it now. I'm tired of "going with the flow" I want to know where we stand. I feel like he's just playing games with me. But not the kind of games where its like, flirt with you and then go flirt with another girl. Haha, not at all, in fact I'm pretty sure I am the only girl he talks to on a regular basis, he's not that kind of boy. Its the kind of games where I think he gets a laugh out of playing with my emotions. Or maybe hes just messing with me out of boredom, but I can't imagine why he would do that. Plus sometimes it seems like he really wants to be my boyfriend. He gets protective of me when other guys get a little carried away with their pervertedness. Or sometimes it seems like he gets kind of jelous when I talk about other boys, but he has no right to, he said he didn't want a girlfriend! Whats his deal?? I am absolutely crazy about him, but I don't know what to do... What do you think is going on here?? (link)
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There are a lot of things probably going through his head. At 14, nobody (male or female) thinks straight when it comes to relationships. I don't know what his family says about relationships, or what his friends think about you. What a guys friends say about a girl has a huge impact on whether he will pursue a relationship with her. If he's openly flirtatious with you in front of his friends, then this isn't the problem.
I had a situation similar to this when I was 14. Actually, it sounds almost identical. I really liked a girl, and she wanted a relationship with me. I knew that a relationship at 14 is destined to fail, and so I tried to maintain that delicate balance between friend in boyfriend in hopes of keeping away from the relationship until we were both mature enough to handle it, but without falling into the friend zone.
That's a pretty rare scenario though. My main guess would just be that he's scared. Relationships and things of that nature are intimidating to guys at that age. It's all new and guys go through a trial period of being really awkward around girls. Be straightforward with him and don't be afraid to take the initiative. I can't guarantee you'll hear what you want to hear, but you'll probably hear what you need to hear.
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Ok well me and this guy have been going out for almost a month. And well..On the computerr we talk foreverr! But in person, nothing. We have nothing to talk aboutt. blehh. He always asks me what do you wanna talk about? And on the computer i think of stuff. But in person, nothing. Its gettinf annoyingg. What should we talk about in person? because i REALLLLYYY like this guy and i dont want him to break up with me just because im not talking that much. So...Any suggestionss? (link)
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It's a matter of age. As people get more accustomed to communicating with other people they get better at it. Just understand that it will be the guy's job to come up with conversation topics for the rest of your life, and if he can't, he's failed. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.
19/m
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Is there a limit to how many best men and brides maids you can have at a wedding? (link)
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Traditionally it's just 1 and 1, but you can have as many groomsmen and bridesmaids as you want. However, it modern marriages just about anything is acceptable.
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I broke with my bf of 4 months because his best(who likes me) said he didn't care. A week later I found out he did care and was upset that i dumped him. I told him i still love and want to be with him but he doesn't wanna be with me. I don't know how to get over him. (link)
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Honestly, if you broke up with him over something his friend said, you deserve what comes to you. You won't get over him any faster, but in the future, try to not make decisions like that. Other people's feelings matter too.
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