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Too Easy Continued


Question Posted Tuesday February 17 2009, 2:21 am

I know that you said that I should just leave this guy alone, but I still have some questions for you...

When you told me that I should show him that I'm not perfect....WELL lets just say that he knows that I'm not perfect, heheh. I had told him about how one time there was a bad situation between me and my cousin's boyfriend. The boyfriend ended up fingering me and kissing me. Although my cousin doesn't know the whole truth [or any of it at all] about me and her boyfriend, we still denied that anything happened. But I know that she was very suspicious after that. They broke up probably a month after that, and then a few months later her ex came over my house again with my sister's boyfriend and tried the fingering thing again. He was very forceful and pushed me up against a chair, trying to have sex with me. But after I had told him seriously "No!" a couple of times, he backed off saying that he didn't want to hear anything about rape later.

All of this I told to JOHN, and he would make a few jokes about doing it to me later on. I know he's serious, but I'm scared that if that happens I might be tempted to have sex with him. So it kind of ties into the being standoffish to him. I'm scared that we'll get into all that and end up having sex. And me being a virgin, I'll know after that it's going to make me have extreme feelings for him. I'm also a Christian, and I know that this is all pretty much against it as well so yeah.

On a good note we talk about Christianity sometimes as a discussion. It's really wierd how we talk about that kind of stuff too. He's a Christian and he's dealing with his smoking problem, something which I'm constantly on him about. He doesn't mind it though because he actually discusses it with me and keeps me updated on how he's doing. My BEST guy friend told me that one time he was talking to JOHN about me, and JOHN was like, "The next time I go out with a girl it'll be with a church girl who will always be on me about smoking and stuff." My guy friend told him, "Well isn't that exactly what she[Me] is?" And JOHN didn't say anything....Just shrugged.

Anyways, I also have a problem with being forward because I'm always thinking too much about the consequences...About being hurt later on, about whether or not this will lead to something good, and whether or not I can kiss good. Hahah, I haven't much experience in kissing, is it something I should be worried about as well?

Either way, I just wanted to share this with you because I loved you advice so much from my last question. I don't even know if you have anymore advice for this question but it would be nice to know what you think. Just being able to talk about this to someone makes me feel a lot better about a situation even if it doesn't turn out good in the end.


[ Answer this question ]
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TheTruth answered Tuesday February 17 2009, 2:07 pm:
I understand what you're saying, but he could still see you as being very innocent and pristine compared to either his sexual experience or sexual desires. I wouldn't say that's a complete non-possibility.

My advice would be to not think too much about the consequences. Have you ever heard someone refer to love as "taking the plunge?" It's because you can't just ease into it. You really have to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt or rejected to have a chance at a good thing.

Is it worth risking the pain? Is there anyway to make sure you won't get rejected? How can you tell if he's "the one"? People have been debating these questions since biblical times, and there's no way to tell if who's right.

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