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what did i do wrong..
hey i was hoping maybe you could help me understand this guy and why he did this to me..
Also i am not sure but I feel like i have asked you a question about this same sitation before, im not sure if it was you or someone else..well anyways, if it was you, your advice has been the most helpful to me than any other adivce ive gotten. you are very helpful, i thought you should know that.
well there is this guy who is a year younger than me, i am a sophmore he is a freshman [in highschool] who is friends with my friends brother and i met him at her house back in december. weve been talking here and there on facebook and i saw him again at their house in january. after i saw him there we would talk and he told me how he really wants me badly [only in a sexual way] and how he wanted to do all of these sexual things with me [i think he was just going to use me] also something else that is weird is that he likes this girl who lives an hour away who he only sees once a year and im pretty sure they are going out. but anyways i didnt think he cared if he had a gf so far away and talked to me like that too..because he is very low and shallow and once called himself a pimp. one night we were talking and he pressured me into sending a picture, he said hed be mad if i didnt.. but it wasnt a bad one i had clothes on..but after i sent them i looked at his fb wall and that girl had wrote, I LOVE YOU TOO!!!! so i think they are going out. and it bugged me because he was talking to me like that WHILE he was saying "i love you" to that other girl? i dont understand. but anyways, about two weeks ago I IMed him because he hadnt IMed me since i sent those pics and i was confused. and basically the first thing he said to me was, hey i love your rack. then i go, thanks haha. and he sais, no your supposed to say i want your dick in my mouth. after i read that i started shaking. because i knew this was it. i knew if i didnt agree to that, he would stop talking to me. but i just COULDNT agree! i mean what on earth makes him think that is normal?! we are not going out, ive only seen him twice, he does not like me. i think he has a gf. that would be so messed up. and so our whole conversation was him begging me to give him a bj. i kept on saying no i dont think so sorry but he kept asking and making me feel bad..at the end of the conversation he just said i want a deep throat from u sexy ;] and then he said for me to text him. so i did. but his phone was off and he didnt get it until two days later but then never responded..so i was really confused because at the end of the conversation he didnt seem mad since he put a winky face after he wrote that..so i didnt know why he wasnt talking to me..
so JUST NOW i decided to IM him..only because we havent talked in two weeks and i dont understand why..i thought maybe its because he hadnt seen i was online at the same time or something. so i IM him and all i get from him is, hi
which is weird because i always get a hey. and HE usually IMs me first.
then i go, whatsup
and he just never answered. what the hell did i do. i mean i know that he has friends that go to my school and i feel like MAYBE his friends said something about me to him or something? i dont think so..i think im just paranoid. but i mean he didnt treat me nice at all or anything but i just dont see why he doesnt want me anymore, why so sudden. what did i do to make him not wanna talk to me anymore, i mean, two weeks ago he was like drooling over me and now its like he wants nothing to do with me. im so confused and i feel so bad about myself and so ugly. please tell me what it was that i did. im really so confused?! like..he always told me how badly he wanted me, he really wanted to do stuff with me, but now all of the sudden im just nothing? he doesnt even want to talk to me. i really dont know what i did wrong..maybe he thinks im ugly now or something because maybe his friends from my school told him im ugly. but im not ugly. i think i am kind of pretty. he told me im really hot. like all the time. so ..i dont get this. at all. i just feel stupid for IMing him now. and also for some reason i just cant stop thinking about him. i guess i just liked the attention, i usually dont get male attention like that and i guess it made me feel important. i really wish i was more strong, confident, and not so self concious, dependant on other people, and insecure. i also wish i could just get over him already.
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I don't think I've seen this particular question from you, but I may have answered some in the past.
To me it sounds like he was only into you for the physical aspect. He may have seen you as someone he could get some action from with no long-term commitment. When you put your foot down and said that you weren't going to give him a blow job, he saw that it wasn't going to be as easy as he thought and backed away.
You shouldn't be worried about whether he's talking to you now. He sounds like a creep and a pervert, and I would strongly advise not communicating with him anymore. Also, if he's trying to cheat on his current girlfriend, why would it be any different if he were with you?
I understand that when you first get attention it feels really good, but if that's not positive respectful attention, it can have the opposite effect in the long run, lowering your self-esteem, and turning you into an emotional mess. Remember that confidence plays a huge role in whether guys find you attractive, so getting over him and projecting a positive self-image will do wonders with most guys. You may not see that now as most 14-16 year old guys are fairly shallow, but towards the end of high school and in college I promise you'll see things are that way.
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