Yes, you are more than likely perfectly healthy. Everyone has a different sex drive, and for some women, it is very low.

You might want consult your doctor on the topic. It is possible that you have low hormones or something correctable if you have very little/no libido. Also, if you actually have a fear or aversion to sex, that may call for some therapy.

However, if you are happy with the way you are, you are fine!

Guys don't forget their exes, they just don't like to show emotion.

I just answered a similar question, and my advice for you is much the same: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=579325.

I know you want badly to get back with him, but I think expecting it is setting yourself up for heartache. This is not the same as thinking about him though; allow yourself to think about the good times and grieve over the lost relationship.

If it makes you feel better, send a single message that says you are sorry it's over, and if he ever changes his mind and wants to try again, you are open to it. Don't promise anything; don't expect anything. This is just enough to say "I did my best and it didn't work," allowing yourself to move on.

Good luck and much love!
~TD

You are totally right. Guys don't respect you if you beg and bother them.

What I generally recommend is that you send ONE (and only one!!) text/email/fb message or whatever telling him calmly and maturely that you are sorry that the relationship is over and that if he wants to contact you in the future, you would be willing to talk about working on whatever went wrong. Then give him up! Don't be expecting anything back.

What this does is it lets the guy know that if he decides he's made a mistake, you are still approachable. At the same time, it allows you to say, "I did my best," and move on.

Do go ahead and change facebook and anything else related--not so much that HE sees you are moving on, but to encourage YOURSELF to really move on. Don't expect to get back with a guy; on-and-off again relationships are generally difficult and filled with heartache. You'll find someone else, don't worry.

Good luck and much love!
~TD

Breaking up is hard to do, but I think you need to take a long hard look at this relationship. You did not talk about how you feel about this boy; instead, you focused on how much time you two spent together. It sounds like you enjoy being needed, which is okay, but it does not work for this relationship. However, you seem obsessed with his missing you, so I'm not sure that this relationship is entirely healthy.

If you examine your relationship and decide it is still worth pursuing, give him some breathing space, because it sounds like that is what the boy really wants. Maybe send him a SINGLE text or email saying that you are open to getting back together if he changes his mind, and that he can call you if he wants. Other than that, leave him alone for a week or two at least!

It sounds like the guy cared about you at least, so you may want to consider being just friends--you can still hang out and spend time together, but he won't feel obligated to do "boyfriend duties," so he might be happier. Who knows, maybe you will be too!

Finally, if he does decide he misses you and wants you back, agree to give him some space--and stick to it girl! Everyone needs "me time!" One idea is that you can sit down at the beginning of each week and figure out your schedules. Agree that you'll only spend a set amount of time together; for example, 2-3 evenings out of the week and one weekend afternoon. Be sure to schedule things to do apart. Try not to be clingy or needy--guys hate it. Pick up a hobby or renew some other friendships to give yourself other things to commit to.

Whatever path you choose, good luck!

~TD

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you.

Okay, so the biggest thing that I tell people your age--have patience. It's a lot easier said than done, I know; I've been there.

You've told her once that you have feelings for her; I promise she won't forget. Most likely she is unsure of her own or is afraid of messing up your friendship.

Since she already has a boyfriend, now is not a good time to approach her. It's not fair to her or her current boyfriend. The best you can do right now is be a supportive friend.

Have trust and patience. If she has feelings for you, they'll come out eventually. Since you said that each time you wanted to ask her out, she was taken within the week, I assume she doesn't have really long term relationships. Your best bet, as horrible as it sounds, is to wait to date her until she's ready for a mature relationship.

Good luck and much love.

~TD

Aww! I also got my first kiss when I was fifteen, also with my first boyfriend (and was also his first kiss!).

Easier said than done--try and relax. The beginnings of relationships are always kind of weird and awkward. But don't worry about it.

Also, don't think about screwing up. Don't think about not screwing up either! If you concentrate on it, you will inevitably end up screwing up. Just don't think about it at all... do what comes natural, and if something goes wrong, think of it as something to laugh at later. Okay, much later.

I think most people remember their first kiss fondly, and probably you'll be the same. Our memories have an amazing way of taking our favorite memories and editing out all the bad parts. So if there's something that one or both of you stress about at the moment, just realize that it's probably a small thing that you guys won't remember in a few months!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

This sounds like the two of you could have a very good relationship. I had a similar experience in high school, and from my perspective, the best advice that I can give is to be brave, but also be patient.

You have to be brave to test the waters of a friendship. I met my boyfriend the first day of freshman year in high school, and I instantly liked him. We became good friends, and I too was worried about ruining our friendship. I have to say, our friendship was strained at times, but never did we manage to ruin it.

However, also be patient. Give your friendship time to grow so that it can withstand the pressures of a more meaningful relationship. High school (I assume you are in high school or at least middle school) is a very confusing time, and I thought that figuring out relationships was the worst of it. Try not to lose sleep over it. Easier said than done, I know--I lost my fair share back then. But you'll probably look back one day and wonder why you stressed so much. But now I'm sounding like an adult, and I promise I'm not all grown up!

So, like I said, give your friendship time to grow and blossom. Then, especially if your guy is shy, you make the move. I had to do all kinds of crazy things in high school. We met freshman year, but didn't start dating until the very last day of our junior year. I first tried just flirting (it doesn't work, btw), and I even confronted him one time and demanded to know where we stood and if he actually wanted a relationship with me. That didn't work either. What finally did it is I agreed to just be friends (although our friendship wasn't the best at that time), and I got myself another boyfriend. When that relationship didn't work out, my current boyfriend was there to hold my hand as I cried through the death of my relationship. And move in soon after.

I don't suggest that you get another boyfriend to make him jealous (especially not right away!). The point of my story is that usually things don't work out the way you plan--but they do work out if you just give them time.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

PS. My boyfriend and I currently have a wonderful relationship. We plan to get married after he graduates law school in a couple of years.

The best thing to do is to not focus on what he's doing now, but if you think about him, think about the good times of the past. I obviously don't know what your situation is, but I can tell you mine and you can compare. I still really miss my ex sometimes (from over four years ago), even though it was me who broke up with him, and I didn't treat him very well either. I was an emotional wreck at the time while I tried to convince myself (and him) that he was the one I wanted to be with, right before I broke it off. He was my first love, and my first kiss; I'll always remember that about him, and I'll always feel the guilt and pain of leaving him. Anyway, I had to sit and sort out all of my feelings. I don't keep a journal, but writing everything down helped. Whatever you do, don't focus on him "chasing other girls." Whether he is or not is not important, unless you want to get back together with him; I'm assuming you don't, since you want him out of your head. Think about the ups of your relationship, and you are also allowed to cry over the end of a relationship. It might also help if when you find yourself thinking of him, concentrate on something really hard not related to him at all. You can use an image or run through a scene of a movie in your head. It will get you off track, and eventually, it will become habit. Know that you'll always remember him, but you'll move on and that's okay. Good luck and much love.

~TD

The sexiest tat I ever saw was on a guy with really great pecs, and he had small chinese characters lined underneath his right pec. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't have a spectacular chest, but that's my favorite. A picture on the underside of the forearm is pretty sexy too. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Awww... I think it's so cute! All of the signs say yes! he does have a thing for you. Great relationships include great friendships, so friendships that blossom into relationships are so much fun. It's really nice to have someone to make out with, but it's even better having someone you can talk to and be yourself with too. My guy and I have been friends since freshman year of high school, but we didn't start dating until the end of our junior year. All of the time that we spend as friends just made the relationship we have now that much stronger. So, go with confidence and make that next move! Ask him to get coffee or lunch or something with you, and make it clear that you want to spend more time with him.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Guinea pigs and rats are the best small animals I have had experience with. Hamsters/mice/anything extremely small tend not to bond with humans, and you basically just watch them...and they eventually become boring and just a lot of work.

Guinea pigs and rats both require a good bit of room and exercise, but you are repaid with sweet pets that love you! I personally have ratties, and they are wonderful little animals when they are tamed. Another bonus, they are pretty inexpensive. The main cost is the cage, and I recommend you go ahead and invest in a good one.

Rats cost $6-8 at a store such as petsmart, but you can probably find a healthier and better socialized rattie if you look for a local breeder, and I think these cost around $30. Expect to spend at least $100 on a cage, and it needs to have several square feet of floor room. I bought one with multiple levels, but this proved too much trouble to clean (and they decided it was their pooping area), so I took it out, and now I get discount fabric for $1/yard and hang disposable hammocks, and they love this. I recommend Mazuri rat food--$6 per bag at petsmart, and a bag lasts my 3 ratties three weeks.

Rats are extremely social, so you'll probably want to get more than one. The easiest thing to do is to buy 2 that are already somewhat bonded. You'll have to handle them a lot the first couple of months to tame them, but after that you can cut back and the two ratties will keep each other company. They'll love you to death once they bond with you. You can take them out daily, and hold them or let them ride on your shoulder. It also helped my bond with my new ratties that I would give them little treats through their cage bars. When I first got my ratties (they were full grown, I got them from a friend who had to get rid of them), they bonded with me in a week. I woke up one morning without realizing a rattie had escaped (they had a whole table top to run around on at night until they figured out how to climb down), and as I was looking at the window, I felt something on my foot. When I looked down, the little escaped rattie had joined me and was looking out the window with me. It was so cute. Just a note, make sure they bond with you--it's very easy, but if you don't they can be a bit aggressive if they feel threatened.

Rats are very smart as well, and I think they are pretty easy to care for. For a while, I used Yesterday's News litter, and I only had to change the cage every two weeks or so. Now I'm on a budget and they are on cardboard and newspaper, and I change them about once per week. I think that rats get used to where they potty, because I have never had one poop on me or on the floor when they are out. Males will spot a little, so you'll want to watch that, but it is so little, I rarely notice. Rats will learn their names pretty quickly, and I've heard that they can learn tricks and things, but I've never tried. Mine just ride on my shoulder, and one gives kisses.

The only downside to rats is their short lifespan. They only live two years or so. Mine are two years old, but they seem to be going strong. Guinea pigs live 6-7 years I think. I have never had them, but my friends keep them in their apartment, and they are very sweet. Anyway, I hope that helped!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Aww...he sounds like a good guy. Practice that communication, and you'll have successful relationships! Good luck and much love!

~TD

I think it is time for you to move on! You deserve better than this. A guy that makes you walk on eggshells then breaks your heart is not worth your time. Don't take the chance--if your heart is broken too many times, you just become jaded, and you'll expect every guy afterward to treat you the same, even though they all won't. Make a clean break if you need to, and take the time to heal. Don't answer his calls or talk to him online. Take time to mourn the love that is over, and be careful who you take as a rebound. If you do decided to take him back, however, be very careful, and be very clear with him that this is HIS chance to prove himself, and he better work dang hard too. Good luck and much love!

~TD

Yes, I definitely know what you're talking about! It was very similar between me and my bf. The easiest way I can think of is to say something like "I really love making out, but what do you think of going a little further?" It will still feel awkward--there's no avoiding it, I'm sorry. I still feel like the best thing for you to do is to get his side of the story. It's really hard to respect someone's feelings if you don't know what they are; if he is reluctant to open up, tell him that. If you try that and you're still lost, message me again with more details and I will try again! Good luck and much love!

~TD

The first thing that I would do is take them to the vet and explain their behavior problems, especially the biting. There may be a health issue that you are unaware of, causing your dog pain. Dogs are considered senior beginning around 6 or 7 years old, so yours have been seniors for a while. Make sure that they are going to the vet regularly! The vet, who knows the dogs and knows you, will probably have better suggestions targeted specifically to your dogs' personalities.

As far as the behavior issues, you can talk to a trainer, like the ones at petsmart; they have suggestions for just about any situation, and all the ones I've met have been really nice and understanding. I would make sure to give them equal attention, but go out of your way to discourage bad behavior. Dogs do get very jealous, and sometimes it can lead to their attacking each other. If it comes to this, I would suggest professional help. There are many good trainers that will come to your house and train your dogs, as well as show you how.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

I know you don't want to straight up tell him what you want, but that's honestly the best thing that you can do. You need to talk about it because if HE isn't ready to go that far, YOU need to respect that. He respects you, but I can't tell how much you respect him. Your relationship is not about only your feelings, wants, and needs, it's about his too, and you need to consider that.

Maybe instead of saying "lets do this," ask him how far he's been before (don't ask for details--it could lead to a fight), or how far he'd like to go. I'll tell you this--being silent about what you want doesn't make anybody happy. If you talk about it, either he'll realize how much you want to do, and make you happy, or he might explain his side, maybe you'll be satisfied knowing his reasons for not going to far.

Communication is the key to a good relationship--not just the emotional part, but the physical one too!! Guys can't read minds, so give him a break and tell him what's on yours.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Taking on the habits of your close friends is natural--we all do it, but some more than others. In my group of friends, we often have strange phrases that it takes a while to figure out who it even originated from. As long as your friends are forcing or manipulating you into acting a certain way, realize that your friends enhance who you are, not threaten you. A large part of our identities is who we choose to be friends with, so it's natural that our friends have such a large influence on us.

It may help you to sit down and figure out how you are different from your friends. Make a list of attributes that make you different from your friends. Start with something little, maybe like a food that you like and they don't or something. When you guys get back together, you can even ask them to contribute. They may notice things about you that you didn't even think of. Hopefully you'll come to see that you are your own person, even if that person is influenced by your friends. As long as you have good friends, that can be a good thing!

Good luck and much love!

~TD

My question for you is why aren't you happy with the way you are? There is nothing wrong with being an "inbetween girl." Go out and have a good time with people that you know. They will introduce you to new people, so it's not like your social life is stagnant. I am very similar, although being almost done with college, I am probably a bit more of a homebody than you because I am getting ready to move on to the next stage in my life and don't have time to make new friends.

If you really want to try to go out on a limb, what I did was join a club. I knew almost no one going into college, so I joined the equestrian team, as horses are my passion in life, so I knew that somebody there would share my passion. I was required to show up to meetings and events, so eventually I started talking to people and making friends.

Figure out what you like, and join a club and take a class, and eventually you will talk to the people you are naturally attracted to and who are attracted to you. Don't feel like you have to dazzle every new person you meet. You'll find friends naturally.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

He certainly sounds like he likes you, but he also sounds unsure of himself. He probably hasn't asked you out either because he is shy or unsure or your feelings, and would rather not be rejected. Also, it sounds like y'all are friends, so he may be enjoying it and not want to risk messing it up.

Hopefully he's not like my boyfriend...we were friends and liked each other from freshman year and he did not ask me out until end of our junior year! When I ask him about it, his best answer is "I don't know." Guys can just be really dumb sometimes. It sounds like you are doing plenty of chasing, so keep making it clear that you like him and even tell him so if you have to, but you can also give him room to figure out what he wants to do.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

Hey, we all understand your pain, lol. I remember my big question was what to do with my hands!! Anyway, a simple kiss is, well, simple. If you've ever kissed anybody on the cheek, you can do that, but try not to knock noses--it's okay to keep your eyes open a little; look down and it won't look like you are staring. And a more involved kiss has more to do, but once you do it a time or two, every thing will probably come naturally. If you want to turn your head, pull back a little and turn to however you are comfortable; the guys I have kissed automatically adjusted. With your tongue, you can run it across theirs or even pull back and give their lip a little lick. And hands can go anywhere, do anything. It can be a hug, in their hair, on their hips, you could be leaning on them... anything really.

All that being said, I doubt when you start kissing you'll think about all of this. Don't keep a checklist in your head; just do what feels natural. And not all guys are great kissers, so don't feel bad making suggestions--just say, "hey, I really love it when you do this" or "why don't you try this..." Believe me, most guys will jump on it and even be glad they know how to make you happy.

Good luck and much love!

~TD

I'm back after a hiatus! I have graduated college (yay!) and am working with Thoroughbred racehorses in Kentucky.

I enjoy giving advice to teens because now that I am older, I have a proper perspective of high school, but I am close enough in age that I don't think I'll come off as some idiot with adult problems that has no idea how teenage life works. Generally I answer love life questions, since that is where many self-image problems surface-not to mention it's highly confusing! If you are wondering about my own love life... well, I have been with my current boyfriend for 5 years. We are getting married once he finishes law school, and yes! We are high school sweethearts!

I also love giving advice to dog owners. I have grown up with dogs and currently have two mutt-butts of my own :) I have worked for several different veterinary clinics, including a vet school, I have taken tons of classes, as well as doing personal research.

I try to be understanding of everyone's problems...I also try to see things from the asker's point of view, but often I do not have enough information so I do the best I can!

BTW if you want to ask me a question, please keep in mind: I LIKE--decent spelling and grammer, proper punctuation, and real words; I HATE--using "like" improperly, lack of punctuation, and gross misspellings. I am happy to read and answer any question, but these are just polite things to do for any columnist!

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