about

hiya I'm shelly, I'm 20 and from England. I have the best boyfriend in the world and he means so much to me. I love to help people and I've just started using Advicenators again. I hope i can help you all with your problems feel free to email me x


advice

I want some songs about being in jail, having a boyfriend in jail, or gangster love.
I know Gangsta luv, I got your back, and 21 questions. Any others?

Jailbreak - AC/DC
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
San Quentin - Johnny Cash
Locked up - Akon

Hope this helps x

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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

Hi, I can understand why you are annoyed and feel betrayed. He shouldnt be posting private information between you and him on facebook. I would sit him down and tell him that you are upset because he lied to you when you confronted him and also because he posted things about your relationship online. I would give him a chance and ask him not to post other things on facebook, if he doesnt listen and if you feel that you cant trust him then I think it maybe best to leave him because if there is no trust then the relationship will more than likely not last.
I hope you can both sort things out but I would give him another chance and ask him to be honest
Hope this helps
x

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20f.

So my best friend gets really weird about guys, like she meets them and gets really attached and puts them before her friends which is ridiculous. Like she met this guy through facebook, well there moms know each other but they've never met. He came to her house with his friend and I was there, they were there for literally a minute because it was so awkward. And now she is always texting him and saying how she always wants to hang out with him even though he is leaving for college in like two weeks. She even said I regret asking Katie (her other friend) to go to the Twins baseball game, because I want to go with Charlie ..the guy shes been "talking" to. I told her thats not right because she doesn't even know him. She doesn't listen. And it's all she talks about, everything we talk about relates back to him it's like give it a break seriously. I think she tries to make me jealous but i'm not at all ..i'm just annoyed. And I know this guy only wants to hook up with her and she's only made out with a guy, never done anything else. She just doesn't understand when I tell her. I don't know what to do anymore..

I know how seriously annoying this can be because my best friend was exactly the same when she got a boyfriend, he was the only one she cared about and she would ditch her friends to spend time with him.

Get all of your friends to start telling her, dont sort of gang up on her just tell her that you feel that she is getting too attatched to Charlie and sort of pushing her friends away.
I know its hard to get through to her but I think shes smitten with him.
Just tell her that if she continues the way she is then she is going to lose friends if she keeps putting a boy before her friends, thats not how friendships should be.
Really sorry I cant help more but just try to be patient with her, Im sure she will get over him but if she doesnt then theres nothing wrong with abit of tough love xx

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What do I do if I like this boy so much been super good
friends for 3 years now && my mom likes him alot too and I wanna be with him more than anything but he has a baby with another girl even tho they're not together. And my mom doesn't know this eithe but I don't care that he does I like him for who he is and how he make me feel sooo please help me what do I do.!!

I say go for it. Just because he has a child with another girl doesnt mean that you cant have a relationship with him.
Just tell him that you have feelings for him and how would he feel about maybe being more than friends.
If you do become a couple then tell your mum he has a child, Im sure she wont mind as she likes him.

Hope this helps and good luck hun
x

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Okay I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend, I don't party that much, i get really good grades, my GPA is a 3.8, I rarely ever get in trouble with my parents, I've never really done anything wild and crazy...i do hang out with my friends usually on weekends.... Ive never had sex with my boyfriend.
I don't know I just feel like I'm extremely...boring. I want to party, have fun, and stuff like that. I feel like other people see me as boring and I feel boring. I don't wanna do drugs, have sex and fail in school, most people at school do that but I don't want people to see me as a boring goody two shoes. I just feel like I'm going to have an extremely boring life, I'm scared it will be the same way when I go to college.Some people tell me I should get with the program or be like them. Some people don't talk to me because Idon'tt act like them and they might think Im a loser. If I get mad and curse at someone no one believes it, but I only do it when I get really mad. How can I get people not to see me as boring?
What do you think...?

Listen, you shouldnt change because people think your boring! In the end you are going to be much better off than them, your not going to be in trouble and at least when you finish school you will have excellent grades.
If you feel boring then maybe its just because you feel like everyone else is having more fun or a better time than you.
Start asking your friends if they want to go out either after school or on a weekend or ask your parents if you can have some friends over for a small party. The next party you get invited to then take up the offer straight away and when you show up just have a good time and enjoy yourself.
If people dont talk to you then its their problem not yours, you shouldnt have to change for other people. Your friends and boyfriend love you for you and they clearly dont think you are boring. Plus I bet your parents are extremely proud of you for doing so well in school and for not being a "wild child".
Btw dont think you need to have sex with your boyfriend to fit in, do it when your ready. I waited until I was 19 until I was sure I was ready and Im very glad that I waited and didnt just have sex because everyone else did.
I hope this helps x

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So when I was five I got shingles which is like chicken pocks, but worse. I got it on my bottom. and The doctor said not to scratch it, my mom said the same thing. But I did, I scratched it a lot and I completely covered in scabs. Well now I have scars on my bottom, and I also sometimes get small break outs of acne on my body, usually my face neck shoulders back and bottom. But usually one or two on my face one or two on my shoulders and back and same for my bottom. But Usually they go away. But I have a really scarred up bottom and it really ruins my self confidence because there's nothing I can do, I also have a big scar down my back from a surgery sometimes I feel okay about it, other times I hate it. My boyfriend and I are sexually active and he likes my body, but I always hide my bottom from him and my breasts since they're sorta small. It bugs him a lot, I recently told him why I hide it and he says he's seen and doesn't mind and thinks I'm still just as sexy and beautiful.
I don't care though, I still fill really self conscious and disgusting. I cry sometimes about this.
I can't stand it. How can I hide these imperfections? Or hide the scars or even better, how can I get rid of them. I'm sixteen and I'm not the richest and I just really need to know how I can at least boost my self confidence and not feel so disgusted or help get rid of this flaw.

Theres a thing called bio oil and it reduces the look of scars, uneven skin tone and stretch marks. Id try that first as its not expensive it may help. Apply it everyday. If this doesnt work go to your doctor (I know it may be embarassing but they see alot worse believe me)they may have creams to help scars and they will know which ones work the best.

I hope this helps hun
x

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ok , so im gonna be a freshman and I wanted to be a princess the night of homecoming. But my mom gave me a 75 dollar budget!! i dont know how to find the dress I want for the ridiculously low amount. I really just need to know where to get a dress that will make me loook uh.ma.zing without going over 75 dollars.

Check ebay. I know they may be second hand but they will meet your budget and you will probably find a really nice dress, you can also get new dresses on ebay so its worth checking.

Hope this helps and I hope you have a really nice time at homecoming. I wish we had homecomings in England x

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i am a father of a 3 year old son .
my sonlives in london and imnot allowed any contact with him, unless it is at a contact centre for 2 hours only .
can you help me

Ive found some information on this website.
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/HowVisitationRightsWorkForFathers.html


I dont know much about it but can you agree to see him in a contact centre for 2 hours and then extend it to longer or spend a day with him? Either ask a solicitor or your sons mother if you could see him more often, go to the house or if he came to yours, just tell her that 2 hours is something but you would really like to see him for longer. It isnt fair to be honest that you can only see him for 2 hours. I am all for fathers for justice because he is your child just as much as he is hers.
I hope this helps x

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hey its me again, but now that you said taking time away from him, i wanna try. but each time i see him on msn or facebook theres an impulse that i need to talk to him. I write status saying how much i miss his kiss and touch, i write alot of stuff like that. I thought it would help. but he seems more freaked out...so maybe for a week not talking to him? He will maybe come back and talk to me..right..?

Yeah I would try that hun, act as though being away from him isnt bothering you. I think that if you act like it isnt bothering you would make him more likely to want to speak to you.
I know how hard it is having the urge to talk to him or send him a message but try to not look at his fb or talk to him on msn.
Keep yourself occupied with other things. Hang out with your friends, do some baking or something that you enjoy to keep your mind off him. It will get easier in time although it might not feel like that right now babe.
If you need anymore help or advice feel free to send me a message, Im here if you need me
xox

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I'm dating a 25 year old man, I'm a 20 year old woman. We are both very similar in many ways, more importantly though, we've both had bad experiences being in real relationships. We're completely exclusive, but neither of us has admitted or even hinted towards boyfriend-girlfriend status, or anything remotely close.

I stay at his house every night. I spend my days off with him. We do all the couple things, dates, dinners, cuddling, sex. Everything. We have every aspect of a real relationship without all the problems I guess. I don't really even know what's going on, or what to think of any of it.

I want to approach the subject of "us" without actually having to bring it up to him, I almost want to find a way to get HIM to unkowingly start the conversation himself. Does anyone have any ideas on how to go about doing that? Or any ideas/input/insight on this "relationship"? I'm at a loss for what to do anymore.

Maybe introduce him to your friends or ask to meet his friends and he may introduce you to them as his girlfriend.
If your parents know about him just say "my mum and dad asked if we were boyfriend and girlfriend and I didnt know what to say...are we?"

I think you are, if you do all the things that couples then it seems that way. Maybe hes just scared to bring it up or ask you properly.

I hope this helps x

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heres the deal, its been like 2 years i like this guy, but he always told me he didnt like me , it was very clear, so i turned for another guy who liked me before, and now dosent ,but i do..the thing is, he knows i love him, its not a young childish thing. So we became ''fuckfriends'' so i could get close to him , thinking it could help me, we did things that couples did, he used to hold my hand when i was sad, always be there when i wasnt feeling right, always cheering me up, saying he cared, saying i was beautiful, anyways the perfect thing...then when i told him i loved him more and more, he told me we couldnt do stuff no more, it hurted me so bad, more the fact that i think he dosnet really wanna see me no more. Hes the kind of guy who just wants sex, but still..i told him we were like a couple and he said no, and when i said why he cared so much, he said well were friends...but it dosent make sense..how can u be so close to a person, without loving him...(her, me) i try to go to other guys , i try to go back to the other one, i try to date, or do ''stuff' i just cant..i just have him in my head..i cant do nothing. and i already had eating disorders and stress problems, and i feel like there coming back cause im loosing him, he used to help me alot, anyways im going on and on..the story cant stop:P, i dont know what to do no more, moving on? tried...keeping my feelings to myself , tried, being a bitch to him so he could get it, tried...i tried everything! someone do somethoing;...!!:( im not dumb and young , 17 and being a girl...is really important...(it said to put our gender!:)

To be honest with you hun it seems like he wanted sex and nothing more. Maybe what he saw as being friendly (cheering you up and holding you hand) you saw as something else. Guys do that sometimes, they show all the signs of liking you and when you ask them they say they just want to be friends or whatever.
I know how hard it is hun, I was stuck on this guy for years and I never thought I would get over him but I finally thought "fuck him".
He isnt good enough for you if he can treat you like this, because to me he wanted a "relationship/friendship" with you because of sex.
If it helps then ask him to be friends still but I dont know if that will help at all, maybe you just need some time away from him.
Surround your friends with family and friends, when you finally stop looking for love thats when it finds you. You will find a guy that is worthy of you love and loves you so much. Believe me hun.

I hope this helps.

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okayyy. well this is a kind of long story but here goes. so theres this park in my town, a really big one with trails and lots of playgrounds scattered around with scattered fields and parking lots. So my boyfriend and I were driving back there one night and we parked pretty far in and starting making out... well it starts gettin a little heavy sooo we move to the back of his car and put down the seats. A car pulls up next to us but we dont hear or notice. Not until I look up and see three guys looking in the car window! My bf flies outta the car, super pissed. And I recognize one of the guys and notice that they go to a school near by and one of them (we'll call him brett) and i used to have a "thing". Well my bf wants to beat their asses but they just drove there to get high. My boyfriend already didn't like this guy, partly because we had history and partly becaue they got a little heated in a baseball game last season (our schools arre rival schools). But, I calmed him down and we left. well brett texts me the next day saying "hey baby, f*ck your boyfriend and come hang with me instead. ill give it to you like he cant ;)." and im pretty happy with my boyfriend, thank you. Well my boyfriend saw the text and got SUUUPER pissed. more pissed than he was the night before. Now he wants to fight this kid... I don't know what to do!! I've been trying for like three days to ask him not to but they have this summer ball scrimage agasinst brett's team and my bf plans on finding him after to "settle things". It's just a pick up game, so it has nothing to do with school so I don't think he can get into any trouble involving school but still! Even if he could, he'd still do it. And its so stupid! He can't do this and I can't talk him out of it! Please help!!! (I'm a fifteen year old girl and my boyfriend is seventeen)

Boys can be stubborn and once they get something into their head they usually see it through. Just tell your boyfriend that you really dont want him to do it, it will cause alot more problems and he can get into alot of trouble for it. Imagine if Brett called the police or something.
Just tell your boyfriend to leave it, tell him that you love him and in no way would you go back to Brett. If he loved you and you told him not to do it then he shouldnt do it, for your sake aswell as his own.
I hope this helps hun x

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ok well me and my boyfriend are both 14 and we had sex (wich is really bad) but now im pregnant and havent told my parents how do i tell them

Just sit them down either you alone or with your boyfriend and tell them that you are pregnant which wasnt intentional. Also talk to his parents too and tell them.
I know this will seem extremely scary but there options. Hopefully your parents will be supportive and help you through this.
x

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i'm 19. i've been on tri-sprintec since feb/march. i've taken it at the same time every day until last week when i was at the beach on vacation and got the hours all screwed up. i still took it every day but at diff times later than i was supposed to. today i had sex w/o a condom, and had already taken my pill at the correct time. are my chances of pregnancy much greater since i didn't take my pill right on time last week?

I was told it doesnt matter what time you take it, the doctors say take it at the same time everyday so that you get into a routine of doing so but as long as you take it you should be fine. x

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I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and last time we talked I cahnged it to a break because I still love him. I can't stop thinking about him and he won't answer or return my phone calls. He does work a lot...its a VERY crazy schedule. I made him a little slideshow of pictures of us...not sure if I'm going to send it to him. I was thinking of sending it to him.
What can I do? I want to talk to him and I miss him like crazy. HELP PLEASE!! :(

Id send him the slideshow but maybe you could go to his house and see him? or send him a letter to his house and tell him that you are sorry and that you love him and miss him

Hope this helps
x

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so i have a long distance relationship with this amazing guy. we have been talking everyday for 6 months!! EVERYDAY!!!we love eachother soo much, and we beleive we are gonna be together for ever, and i agree, i see no reason for us to break up. well i live in canada, and he lives in the USA. we both have webcams and use them everyday to talk to eachother while on msn. WE have done everything imaginable to like spice things up and make things less boring. WEve talked about like getting dressed up and eating at the sametime on cam like we are having a fancy dinner together and we have done a sleepover on cams, everything. iv typed on google tons of questions to ask your bf, iv went to every site. but i know all the answers to them and i dont want things to get boring. What are somethings we can do, or talk about on cam that will be interesting and FUN!!. It seems we talk about the samethings all the time, and do the samethings all the time. Thank you guys so much, i really apreciate this!! Thanks!

Why not get some of your friends around or him get his friends around and introduce them on webcam. Also maybe you could both get microphones and talk to each other over them / be silly and sing to each other lol.
Maybe you could send letters to each other or little gifts/pictures of yourslves.

Hope this helps x

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i met this guy a few days ago. we kind of met through a group of friends on a friday night & we where both a bit drunk xD .. soo we started talking and got along really well. eventually he started telling me that he loved me and stuff like that. of course i knew that he only said it cause he was drunk. well we kind of made out a lot after that and he kept telling me that he has feelings for me and that i'm the second girl he ever had feelings for. he was being quite emotional as well like everytime i left to pee i had to promise him that i'll come back and stuff. and he told me over and over that he has feelings for me. the thing is that i kept telling him that i have feelings for someone else which i had back then. he didnt mind too muchthen. but after a while he got sober (i was still a bit drunk) and i was still talking about the guy i liked back then quite a lot. and he kept telling me that he had feelings for me and because he was sober i believed him that time. and he was quiet convincing as well. so he brought me home cause he was scared that i wouldnt make it or something and i remember him always saying ( I'm not (name of guy i fancied) when i hugged him or kissed him. and he kept asking me if im only making fun of him or using him.
then he promised me that he'd phone me the next day and that we'd meet up and stay friends.
the thing is that he never did. and he never told anyone why either. not even his best friend who is also good friends with me. (but the thing that really really confused me is that he texted me asking me if i got home alright cause he couldnt bring me all the way since he would've caught his bus) but after that he never replied or phoned or anything (even though he promised he'd phone me at exactly 1pm)
and i dont really get it. i wrote himn on myspace but he never replied to that either. im pretty sure that he didnt use me because we didnt do anything but kiss. and i dont think that he thinks that i fancy him either cause i kept telling him i fancy someone else so i dont think he's scared of giving me false hope or smth :S
so what do you think is his problem?? cause he was deffinetely not a player. my friend knows him quite well and she also told me that she noticed that he's thinking about it quite alot. but he just wouldnt tell her anything.
i dont get it :S

Maybe its because you said you fancy somebody else that he thinks he hasnt got a chance with you? Ring him and ask him to meet up or text him and say that you really like him and was just wondering why he never got in touch with you

Hope you sort things out
x

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I have a 2 year old niece that I babysit once a week. She's my sister's little girl. My mom watches her from about 7 a.m. to 4ish M-F and sometimes on Sat's depending on when my sis works. I usually watch her on Thurs's. Here's the deal. My mom suffers from terrible back-pain, she takes care of my dad who is partly paralyzed/disabled, and my adult brother still lives at home and he is a bit of heck-on-earth because he is an alcoholic & drug addict. I don't think my niece should be in that house with so much going on in the first place. I watch her once a week because I feel sorry for my mom and for my niece. My sis is not financially able to afford daycare or another sitter, since my mom and I watch her for free. Here's my dilemma. I have been a SAHmom and my youngest child will start KG this year. For one I'm afraid that my mom & sis thinks this may open me up to babysit more often but it does NOT. In fact, I don't want to babysit anymore at all and I'm afraid it sounds selfish but this is why: I simply have other things I want to do. Starting a 6 day/week exercise program has been my plan all along for when both kids are in school. I need to lose weight and haven't managed to fit exercise in my day up until now - I find it impossible to exercise when they are in the house and my hubs works long hours. This exercise program is something that I MUST do for me. I clean my grandmother's house once a week and that will be my only OFF day from exercising. It will not be possible for me to watch my niece anymore if I am going to commit myself to this dieting/exercise program. It would be COMPLETELY different if it weren't for the fact that it is a 1 hour round trip to pick her up and bring her here to babysit. One of us drives the hour in the a.m. and the other drives the hour when she goes home. It's too far as you can see anyway. I just wonder if this sounds selfish of me to want to quit watching her once a week? I think that if my mom has an appt or something she needs to do I could work it out to come by and sit for her, but I can't committ to once a week anymore. I have earned my time to myself as being a SAHmom and I'm finally at a point where I can accomplish this goal I've had for so long. Am I being selfish or is it normal for me to feel guilty since my mom has so many troubles and a toddler to keep up with too?

I dont think you are being selfish, Its nice of you to babysit for her anyway especially since you have your own children to take care of and she does live an hours drive away.

I think you should just talk to your sister, just say as much as you love your niece you will have to stop taking care of her as you want to focus on losing weight for health reasons as being overweight can have serious health complications.
Im sure your sister wont mind. Just say that you could take care of her if she is REALLY stuck for a minder or if your mum cant do it, or maybe if you have a spare hour or 2 you could go to your mums and help out with babysitting. Im sure you sister will be understanding and will be grateful for the time you give up to take care of her anway

I hope this helps. x

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my cousin tried to overdose herself last week and yesterday i was telling her about when i was depressed and tried it myself- and I told her that if she ever needed someone to talk to that wouldn't judge her that she could talk to me...and then she rung her sister and told her what i had said...and Gemma told her that i had said that i wanted to hang myself, and I didn't, I did tell her that i think about it sometimes but i would never do it again. Now my most of my family is pretty annoyed at me for talking about suicide to her so soon after she had attempted it. I was meant to be staying at her house that night but my sister rang my dad and had him pick me up as soon as Gemma told her what i was saying. All I was trying to do was tell her that i was there for her if she needed to talk. And now it's been blown out of proportion and I am getting those feelings back because i just want to escape from all this.
i actually have no idea what to do..

I understand that all of the feelings that you used to have are coming back now after knowing your cousin has attempted suicide and also talking about your experience with depression. I dont think your cousin realised that you was trying to help her and make her realise that you used to have these feelings but got past them and she can too.
Try and talk to your family (dad, sister and cousin) and make them realise that you were not trying to make her feel bad but that you were trying to help her by explaining that you too have been through the same feelings and thoughts and you thought by doing this she would realise she isnt the only one who feels this way and that she could speak to you when she is feeling down or upset.
Please dont think about taking your own life, you have so much to live for and you and your cousin can help each other. Imagine how upset your family and friends would be and Im sure it will make you think differently. In time things will be better I just think your family have blown things out of proportion and are looking for somebody to blame, I also think your cousin is telling one side of the story.
I hope this helps and I hope that you and your cousin will realise that taking your own lives is not the answer.
Much Love x

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She has problem itghing her scalp she has tried medicine from doctors does not help

Go back to the doctors and tell them that the medication has not helped with the itching. Maybe she has eczema on her head (my sister had this and was given cream and shampoo to help), the doctor will probably be able to help if they know the medicine hasnt helped. Also use anti-dandruff shampoo and luke warm water, this will probably help with the itchiness.

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