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Feel guilty about wanting to quit
I have a 2 year old niece that I babysit once a week. She's my sister's little girl. My mom watches her from about 7 a.m. to 4ish M-F and sometimes on Sat's depending on when my sis works. I usually watch her on Thurs's. Here's the deal. My mom suffers from terrible back-pain, she takes care of my dad who is partly paralyzed/disabled, and my adult brother still lives at home and he is a bit of heck-on-earth because he is an alcoholic & drug addict. I don't think my niece should be in that house with so much going on in the first place. I watch her once a week because I feel sorry for my mom and for my niece. My sis is not financially able to afford daycare or another sitter, since my mom and I watch her for free. Here's my dilemma. I have been a SAHmom and my youngest child will start KG this year. For one I'm afraid that my mom & sis thinks this may open me up to babysit more often but it does NOT. In fact, I don't want to babysit anymore at all and I'm afraid it sounds selfish but this is why: I simply have other things I want to do. Starting a 6 day/week exercise program has been my plan all along for when both kids are in school. I need to lose weight and haven't managed to fit exercise in my day up until now - I find it impossible to exercise when they are in the house and my hubs works long hours. This exercise program is something that I MUST do for me. I clean my grandmother's house once a week and that will be my only OFF day from exercising. It will not be possible for me to watch my niece anymore if I am going to commit myself to this dieting/exercise program. It would be COMPLETELY different if it weren't for the fact that it is a 1 hour round trip to pick her up and bring her here to babysit. One of us drives the hour in the a.m. and the other drives the hour when she goes home. It's too far as you can see anyway. I just wonder if this sounds selfish of me to want to quit watching her once a week? I think that if my mom has an appt or something she needs to do I could work it out to come by and sit for her, but I can't committ to once a week anymore. I have earned my time to myself as being a SAHmom and I'm finally at a point where I can accomplish this goal I've had for so long. Am I being selfish or is it normal for me to feel guilty since my mom has so many troubles and a toddler to keep up with too?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Babysitting?
Your sister made the decision to have a child she can't afford to maintain, not you. You have done more than you could ever have been expected to just in taking on her daughter at all. You certainly shouldn't have been driving an hour in order to provide free babysitting services. That's your gas, your money spent in maintaining the car.
Your sister needs to understand that you babysitting is not a right, it's a huge favour. She's not entitled to your assistance. You didn't become a SAHM so you could take care of someone else's family. You became a SAHM to take care of your own family, your own child. Let her know that you have other commitments to your family despite your child going to school, and that you can't take on more responsibility. If she raises a stink, remind her that you are by no means responsible for her child.
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I dont think you are being selfish, Its nice of you to babysit for her anyway especially since you have your own children to take care of and she does live an hours drive away.
I think you should just talk to your sister, just say as much as you love your niece you will have to stop taking care of her as you want to focus on losing weight for health reasons as being overweight can have serious health complications.
Im sure your sister wont mind. Just say that you could take care of her if she is REALLY stuck for a minder or if your mum cant do it, or maybe if you have a spare hour or 2 you could go to your mums and help out with babysitting. Im sure you sister will be understanding and will be grateful for the time you give up to take care of her anway
I hope this helps. x
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