hey i was just wondering if you had AIM or any kind of instant messenger? and if you would maybe want to give it to me :) i love your advice it seriously works everytime.
-hannah
hey, my aim is oiscumpunk and i also have msn. it's yodarbyjay@live.com
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i'm going snowboarding with my ex after christmas because i got stuck working :/
but anyways theres this guy that likes me and he texts me like alll the time, and i text him back cause well i'm a nice person haha..but i don't like him in that way. i told him that i didn't want a relationship for awhile since i just got out of a super long one.
i was just thinking, and please let me know if this is a stupid idea. but i'm sure this guy will text me when we go snowboarding and should i just bring it up casually to my ex and say something like "this guy likes me and texts me all the time and i text him back...do you think thats leading him on?" ...its a legit question that i kinda want to know from a guys perspective anyway..and i think maybe it will get him a little jealous? idk, what do you think?
-hannah
Eh, I really wouldn't bring it up. It will probably just make him mad or be too obvious because this is the first time you guys are hanging out in a while. If the guy is texting you while you're out with him, and he asks about it, just say something like "oh, it's the guy that texts me all the time". Then see how he reacts to it. If he just says 'oh' and doesn't ask any questions, stop texting the guy that likes you. Just tell him you're busy. It's rude to text a lot when you're hanging out with someone, especially an ex who you're trying to get back with. If he asks more questions about it, you can go into further detail. But I'd just keep that conversation out for now, if I were you.
(:
Darby
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hey its hannahh. so i really hope you don't mind me bugging you with all of these questions. you're really helping me alot though and its nice to have someone the same age know what she's talking about :)
so anyway he's been texting me a good amount lately (he started it) and since we're both like obsessed with snowboarding he asked me to go this sunday. i'm not really sure how to play it, like if he asks me how i'm doing what should i say? should i say ehh ok :/ or something like i'm doing really well :) (obviously i still want him back, but maybe if i pretend like everythings good he'll miss me)...so how do you think i should play it and any other advice?
oh and i kinda want to go in the hot tub after ;) it wouldn't be awkward cause he knows i'm always cold lol but i think it'd be a good excuse to just talk and bond and stuff lol buut the problem is i don't have one :( so do you know of like anything we could do after so we can just talk? like i don't want it to be too obvious that i just did it to talk to him you know?
thanks so much :)
Hey (:
I think that when he asks how you're doing, you should say something like, "Oh, I've been alright I guess. You?" That way it's sort of in between. You don't want to be like, "Oh, gosh it's just been awful." But you don't want to be like, "Oh yeah, everything's been going great." The middle ground is usually better (:
As far as what to do after snowboarding, it really depends what you're into. I smoke and drink coffee nonstop, so if I want to talk to a guy, I'll just ask if he wants to go outside and smoke/drink coffee. If it's too cold outside, I'll start out by just sitting on my doorsteps, then ask if he wants to go sit in my car so we can be a little warmer. Then I'm alone with the person and I can just turn the heat on in my car and listen to music and talk about whatever I want to talk about.
Because you're going snowboarding, you'll probably be cold. So ask if he wants to go to a cafe and get some coffee or hot chocolate. It won't be crazy obvious because it really will be necessary to get something warm. But it will let him know that you want to spend a little bit of time alone talking to him.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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so there's this guy that i've been talking to. he's such a sweetheart and i know he likes me for me. we've been talking for a few month. okay so i want to have a little fun...don't tell me not to because i know i do, thats not my question...my question is, what/where/when can we hang out in which i'll be wearing the least amount of clothes possible haha...and preferably with a group of friends too.
(could be a bathing suit or w.e.)
thanks :)
I don't know where you live. But where I live, it's too cold for a bathing suit outside. If you live somewhere cold, like I do, you could throw a party at a hotel that has an indoor swimming pool or hot tub. Then you could invite all of your friends (including him).
(:
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im 17/f. so i've been in a relationship for a year and i just got out of it like a month ago...i went to a college party last night and i started hooking up with this really hott guy but i felt so dirty and slutty so i stopped and told him that i couldn't do this. when i was with my boyfriend i was like a sex maniac haha but i never felt slutty at all because we had that really strong connection you know? i thought being single and meeting guys and hooking up is suppose to be fun? i don't understand. i'm young and i'm suppose to like this....i guess all i want is someone who cares...idk what should i do...
like if thats what college is like then i'm not that excited..i don't just want to be another pointless girl he's hooked up with...i want to mean something.
It's not strange at all to feel that way, especially if you've only hooked up with people during a relationship. I don't like hooking up with people that I don't know well or don't have a connection with. It makes it feel less meaningful when you are with someone you connect to.
It's actually a good thing that you don't like hooking up randomly. It means that you have respect for yourself. Your mind telling you that it's wrong for you to randomly hook up is your sub conscious way of telling yourself that you know you deserve someone who cares about you and that you're not going to sell yourself for less.
College parties do tend to get like that. But that's not what college is about. College is about getting a degree so you can have a better job so you can have more money to raise a family or whatever you choose to do.
Don't look at it as a bad thing because it most definitely is not. It's refreshing to see that someone cares about theirself enough to know that hooking up with someone you don't know isn't fun at all. It's just awkward and leads to bad, bad situations.
Darby(:
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hey its the girl who asked about her ex and getting back together and summer vacation blahblah....my names hannah and i'm 17. just so i don't have to keep saying that lol.
so anyway he texted me yesterday morning saying that he was bored and i was the only one who texted back during class. so anyway we texted for awhile about some random stuff then we ended up on the phone somehow late at night because i texted him saying that something was on my mind so he called me. he told me that he gets that feeling in the pit of his stomach and he stil has feelings for me. buttttt he says he doesn't want to commit. we talked some more and he says that he doesn't believe that you can love someone forever...he said that you can love someone for a amount of time but he says that its really rare to actually love someone for the rest of your life and to be truly happy. he also said that he doesn't believe in love with teenagers. i don't want him to believe that though...because i honestly think we're both in love...even if he is lazy sometimes and doesn't want to hang out..idc i'm mature and i'm in love and i don't want to give him up...the thing is so i talked to my mom and she said that alot of it has to do with the way your parents are. his parents are always fighting and got divorced when his dad was in iraq....i want to convince him that love comes at any age and that people actually can be in love for the rest of their lives. he also told me that if we hung out by like a pool or something or lots of things he's going to want me back (he says he loves me when we're hanging out together but kinda blocks it out when we're not)....soo he's calling me after school to talk about his parents because i told him i still wanna be there for him as a friend but yeah how can i prove to him all of this about love? or at least tell him...any advice? please answer asap because he's calling after school today.
thank you soo much.
Hey, hope I'm not too late. I just got off work (:
Okay, so I think I remember saying that he probably feels the way that he does about love because of his parents. So I agree with your mom 100%. When you talk to him today about his parents, the conversation will most likely lead into his beliefs in love (or disbeliefs).
When the conversation gets on that topic, you should point out people in your life that have been married for a very long time and are very happy together. For example, my great grandparents were married for 62 years and never fell out of love. Also, my grandparents have been married for over 40 years and are still as happy as they were when they first fell in love.
It is possible for love to last forever, but there's no real way that you can force someone to believe in it. It's sort of like trying to force someone to believe in a certain religion. You can point out all the examples of things that 'god' had done for you, but it doesn't mean the person is going to believe in the religion now.
All you can do is give some examples of people in your life that have been in love and happy for a long time. Also, don't be afraid to really tell him how you feel about it. Maybe if you verbalise what you're feeling, he'll understand what you're definition of 'love' is and he'll realise that he loves you, too. (All the time, not just when you're hanging out)
Good luck,
Darby(:
EDIT::: Love is something different to every person. Think of the reasons why you feel like you can't be without him. Think of how you'd feel without him.
Love to me is when you care about someone so much that they can do anything to you and it doesn't change how you feel about them at all. When I love someone, I feel like the person is my best friend and I can't imagine being without them. If I do try to imagine them not being in my life, I feel completely empty like everything has been torn away from my insides. It's a feeling that lasts, too. If you love someone, you're not going to forget them after you've been broken up for a couple months. You'll be completely miserable until you get the person back in your life.
If you love someone, you trust them with everything you have. You're never embarrassed around them and you feel like you could say or do anything without them being weirded out or making fun of you.
You want to spend a lot of time with the person and you miss them before they've even left. You get excited when you see a text with their name on it, even after you've known each other or have been dating for a long time.
And most of all, love to me is when you can sit in a room with the person for an entire day or night and do completely opposite things (one person sleeping and the other across the room drawing; etc..) and feel completely calm and at peace just because the other person is near you and you care so much about them that their very presence takes away any bad feelings you could have about things happening in your life.
Darby(:
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i use to be an amazing student- always did my work, never failed a test, teachers loved me, etc. ever since high shcool i just slowly got stupider. i dont know why and with that, made me stop caring. now i feel like im a failure and that im so foolish and i hate it.
how do i get smart- i know that sounds absurd but i just need to know
Did you stop caring after you got 'stupid' or did you get 'stupid' after you stopped caring? During high school, you constantly have to read, write, do mathematics, take tests, ect...
After high school, sometimes you have to do the same things to keep up that sense of being smart. In order to get that feeling of being smart again, you should read books that are hard to read. It just makes you more articulate anyway. Read A Tale of Two Cities or some Nietzsche books.
Also, spend some time writing and if you have old books from school, look through them and do some of the activities that are usually in them.
Darby(:
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hey well i have a big problem now i have been going out with this guy for about 4 years and 2 months he would always treat me bad and everything calling me crap like whore slut and may i remind you i never did anything for him to call me that but i did talk back. He always broke up with me every summer for a month sometimes more, he would break up 2 days after if we fought and he would really make me feel so bad. We are still going out but this summer i met someone new while me and my boyfriend were on this break up i met this guy and he was amazing he always made me laugh and i really started liking him i might have even fallen in love. This guy that always broke up came back to me and now like i did come come back but i miss this guy that always made me laugh the way my boyfriend now got me back was by getting a new girl he got me really jealous and made me realize i wasnt ready to let him go yet but then this new guy that i met really i feel so bad that i left him for a jerk that i been going out with but i been going out with this guy for 4 years and i just dont know who to choose or what to do or anything please help because i feel so confused and just i dont want to play games with any of them so i want to ask you guys for the advice and hopefully it helps a lot it usually does that you :)
You should dump the guy you've been with for four years if he's verbally abusive. Plus, why would he break up with you for a month or so every summer? Sounds like he's been trying to take a break so he can do something he shouldn't be doing. Does he hook up with other people in that time while you're broken up? Well, apparently he has at least once since he got a new girl and made you jealous.
The thing you need to realise is that you're both going to be jealous. He got a new girl and you got jealous, but at that point you were into a new guy as well, so I'm sure he'd be jealous about that, too.
For a while things will be weird and you'll miss each other because you've been together for so long. You'll be depressed and jealous and so will he, even if he doesn't act like it publically. That's just a natural part of the breaking up process; especially when you've been dating for a long time.
The relationship just doesn't sound healthy at all to me. I think the first thing you need to focus on is breaking up with the guy you're currently with. Then, give yourself some time to get over it. Don't try to jump into a relationship with the guy you met last summer. If you do, you won't be fully over your ex and you'll just end up hurting the new guy more.
After you've given yourself a while to heal from the last relationship and get over it, then you can try to date the guy from last summer. While you're getting over your ex, you can talk to the guy from last summer. Just let him know that you're not wanting to jump into a relationship with him because you're trying to get fully over your ex before you get into another relationship. It's good to become good friends with someone before you date them anyway.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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okay soo i've been dating this guy for alonnnng time for like over a year. and we broke up a few weeks ago. its annoying because we're one of those on and off couples...i guess if you can call it that like this is the 3rd time we've broken up. i think he has commitment issues...because his mom is cheating on his dad and they're getting a divorce...do you think that could be it? like i really really love this guy he's amazing and when we're together he treats me so well...i love him to death but i just hate going through the pain when break up...and like he always tells me "he loses the spark" as an excuse to why we break up but i think theres something about commitment issues that he's not telling me because whenever we hang out again after awhile after we break up (we give it like 2 months then try and hang out again as friends) he falls back in love with me and there we go again...so what do i do? (were both 17 btw)
It could be commitment issues that he has due to his parents' relationship. It might not be something he's not telling you about. If it issues with committing, he probably doesn't even realise that he has those issues. You could try bringing it up to him and ask him if he thinks that you could be one of the problems in your on and off relationship.
It could also be that when you're dating, you spend too much time together or do things that you don't both find enjoyable. He loses the spark then a couple months later you hang out and he gains it back. That makes me think that he just gets bored of your relationship after a while.
You should try talking to him about that also to see if that could be why he's always 'losing the spark'.
In the future, if you decide to date again, make sure that you have a game plan and have the issues from last time resolved. Time alone doesn't fix problems in relationships. If something goes wrong and you break up and don't talk for a couple months, forgetting what happened isn't going to make it go away the next time around.
Try to invest your time together in things that you both enjoy and don't be afraid to be spontaneous and adventurous in the things you do. Those things will help keep the love alive and exciting so he won't lose the spark again.
Good luck,
Darby (:
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help me out here of what to do if you can.(:
so there is this guy who i really like and who likes me. we have known eachother for like a year or so and we have talked talked a couple times but this time it was for real, we would be textinng almost everyday of every second. and this week he has came see me everyday. but now he just wont even talk to me. he tells me that he wants me to tell him how i feel and about my problems so that he can atleast try to help and i do tell him but two nights ago he was over and i just started ignoring him and being really quiet and he asked me what is wrong and i told him that i feel like he is using me because he dont bother to ask me out or anything, we act like we date, we kiss all the time and hold hands and all but he just dont bother to ask me out. my friend said that i am his make out buddy but i do kinda feel like it. i know that he likes me and that he isnt using me but i dont know what it is. yesterday i texted him asking if he even wants to date me and he said i do.. just not now and i asked why and he said just dont and i told him to tell me but he didnt reply but then later we talked on the phone for like one hour and nothing wrong but if i text him, he wont text back. i just want to know why he dont want to date. it dont make sense. and sometimes i feel like that im chasing him to much. sorry that its long. i rate 5.
I guess I would give it a little while to see how it plays out. He might just be waiting for the right time to ask you out. But it really sounds to me like he doesn't want to commit to a relationship. He wants to have all the aspects of a relationship minus the title that ties you down from talking to or seeing other people. If he can play boyfriend to you and still get away with being technically single, why wouldn't he?
If he doesn't ask you out in the next couple weeks, you should try asking him out. If he says no or says he doesn't want to right now, don't waste your time with it. If he wanted to be your boyfriend, he would do it now while he has his chance.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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I'm a girl, and I'm 16. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months almost six, I know it's not long, but we've mutually been liking eachother since the 7th grade. I'd even want to say that I've been in love with him since then. This is all kind of pointless to what I have to ask, but I figured I'd share a little information.
Anyway, his best friend is a guy. He had a girlfriend. They recently broke up. We were together, and he just left my house to go be with her and comfort her, because she was so devestated that HIS best friend dumped her. Why does he need to comfort his best friends, ex? I got really mad at the fact that he just got up from my house and went to be with her.
Is this something that I should worry about, that I'll be the second best always, I'm not trying to sound selfish. But your girlfriend normally comes first, right? I'm just wondering if I overreacted,or if its something I should be mad and concered about.
By the way, he's done this three times to me already.
He's left your house three times to go be with his best friend's ex girl? Yeah, if I were you, I'd be fairly concerned about that. Even if they've been friends for a while, it's weird. You shouldn't just leave anyone you're hanging out with to go hang out with someone else unless it's an emergency. And, of course, you especially shouldn't leave your girlfriend's house to go comfort another girl.. three times..
If I were you, I'd talk to him about it and see what's up. It's fine if he wants to cheer her up or whatever, but it could've waited until you guys were done hanging out. He could have told her that he'd come see her in a few hours. I'm guessing she's around your age, so breaking with a boyfriend isn't exactly a tragedy or something that I would consider an emergency.
Just talk to him about it and see why he feels the need to leave when he's hanging out with you to go hang out with her all the time. That's not a very good way to treat your girlfriend. It really doesn't make sense anyway because he's with you and she's upset so he goes to cheer her up. But when he leaves you, you get upset I'm sure. So really he's choosing you being upset over her being upset.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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hey so i'm that girl who asked you all those questions about getting back together with my boyfriend over the summer and going on vacation with him. (we started dating aug. 11.2008 broke up april 26th 2009 then started going back out july 20th 2009 and now broke up again november 27th 2008 :/)
okay so tonight he dumped me. again. i can't sleep, i can't eat, and theres this huge hole in my heart. i told myself i would never get this attached but its too late, because i am. it is impossible for me to get over him....three months wasn't enough i feel like its going to be longer this time if we don't end up getting back together.
he said he broke up with me because he feels like i contribute way more in the relationship than he does and he feels like its not fair to me. but then he said he loves me and cares about me and doesn't know what to expect after we break up....i said to him "i want to be sure this is what you want because i'm not coming back this time"....he said "yeah i know..id be a jerk to ask you out again" he said that ill always have an effect on him because its the first love kinda thing with both of us.
its really weird too because like a week ago he was telling me how the first time we broke up he was a mess and thought of me every night thinking that it would go away but it didn't for 3 months. so he asked me back out and things were good but then he said that he felt like he didn't want to hang out with me sometimes and wanted to be with his friends but thats understandable because i do too. ugh i know i said i wasn't coming back, but deep down i know i am if he will....im so crazy abot this guy....
and one more thing, everytime he says "i love you" like a couple months later we break up....i've mentioned this to him and he seems afraid of it...he says he meant it and i'm positive that he meant it becase i can tell especially the way he looked into my eyes but he says he doesn't want to be like an old married couple already and i think the words "Ilove you" remind him of that.
what do you think is the best way to play it so we can get back together? should i tell him all of this? he said he wanted to try the friends thing so we can hang out after a little awhile. but we hung out last time we broke up by ourselves and we ended up getting back together...he said he wanted to start hanging out in groups first though so that doesn't happen...but i secretly want it to :/ when should i call him/text him? like how long should i give it? i know i should wait until he texts me first but he told me to let him know when i'm ready to hang out again. this is seriously the hardest thing i've ever been through.
i want him back so badly. im trying the best i could to stay positive but things aren't going so well. i'm so in love and this is eating me from the inside out. i want him back. i know he loves me. he's just so confused and he has family problems going on at home (his mom is cheating on his dad overseas) and i want to be there for him i love him so much and i honestly think he's making a hugee mistake. how do i get him back? please help :(
oh and after we talked he said i can call if i needed anything...
oh and im also friends with one of his close friends....should i talk to him about it?.
I'll start with the last question- no you shouldn't talk to his friend about it because if you do, there's a big chance that he'll go tell your ex boyfriend whatever it is that you said. It's not good to talk to a mutual friend about these sort of issues.
It sounds to me like the guy is afraid to make a full committment to you or anyone else right now. You've told him that you think you contribute equally or that you don't mind; but he's still saying he can't do it. It sounds like it's just an escape from the relationship because he's not ready for a very serious relationship.
Also, with his mum cheating on his dad, it could very well be that he's lost his faith in relationships somewhat. Being with you might remind him that his mother is betraying his father who is fighting for his country. When something like that happens, it takes a while for the person to realise that there can still be true love.
If I were you, I would tell him the things that you've told me here (which it sounds like you have to a certain extent). Tell him that if he really needs to take a break from it, you'll still be there for him as a friend but that you're not going to hook up with him or anything like that.
Then you have to commit to what you tell him. If you tell him you're not going to go back with him, then you do, you're not going to have as much respect from him. He'll think that he can just ask you out and break up with you whenever he wants and you'll always take him back.
It's hard to stick to your guns, but you have to do whatever you have to do to not take him back if that's really what you want to do or need to do.
That might mean you can't hang out with him anymore (even in a group) or talk to him for a while.
You need to ask yourself if you really want him back if he's going to keep changing his mind about whether or not he really wants to be with you. It seems like he has quite a few commitment issues and you need to decide if that's something you want to put yourself through at this point in your life.
Hope it helps,
Darby(:
::EDIT:: In response to the questions in your feedback, if I were you I would just let things go. I think not talking for a month or so would be good for both of you. If you do love each other, you'll both miss each other a lot in that time. But in a relationship, you can't just go out for a few months then break up for a month or so and keep cycling like that.
Every relationship has that honeymoon phase where you want to be together all the time and you're really happy together. That fades away with time, and that's normal. You don't have to hang out every single day or text each other every second of every day when you're not together.
You guys have to learn how to balance your relationship and your life in general. Don't make everything revolve around each other if you do start dating again because your relationship isn't stable enough and you'll probably end up getting hurt again.
I think you should not talk to each other for a while. Don't make it exactly one month because you'll just be clinging to the hope of being able to hang out with him again in a month. Just take a break and keep your mind open while you're on that break. A lot can happen in a month and you aren't together so don't avoid getting to know new people or get too surprised if he gets to know other people, too.
If after a while you still have those feelings for him, then you can see if he wants to hang out again. Until then, just try to relax and put more of your energy into school or friends.
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what is forplay can u xplain it plz
Foreplay is that actions that come before sex. Usually starting with kissing then it leads into sex.
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heyy, i'm a 19/f. he's a 20/m.
i recently met this guy and we were talking and yadayadayada. we got eachother numbers and all that fun stuff. anyways my friend and i were going down to see her boyfriend and the guy i'm talking to. we are still in the awkward get to know you stage. anyway, we were all hanging out and things were going good until these other girls started showing up and kept glaring at me for talking to him and kept pulling me away from him whenever we got near eachother. anyways, my friend, her boyfriend, and i left to go get some food and then we were gonna go back to where he was. her boyfriend fell asleep in the process of our food getting made, so i texted him and i said 'hey sorry we aren't gonna be able to come back" and he said "why?" and i said "well *joe* passed out on the couch haha" and he said "oh.." and i said "yeahhh i'm sorry i didnt talk a lot. i didnt want to bother you when you were talking to other people and then you randomly disappared. haha" and he said " i'm sad now that you aren't coming back." and then he said "i'm sorry i wanted to talk to you more and get to know you" then before i said anything back he said "can i come get you and you can come back over?" and i said 'well *kelsey* doesnt feel good so i wanna make sure everything is ok" and he said 'ahh ok" and then i said "but maybe we can do lunch tomorrow or an early dinner" and he said "yeah sounds good to me. i'll ttyl. maybe see you tomorrow" and i said "okay. ttyl. goodnight"
so thennn.. the next day we all woke up and we were all watching football on *joes* bed. haha and *kelsey* said "*joe* text *andy* and tell him to come over" so *joe* texted him and said "yo *andy*. we are having a party on my bed. get your ass here now" and *andy* said "i would if i could but i can't :(" so then we texted him later about doing lunch/dinner but he couldnt do lunch/dinner because he had to go home for an appointment.
so then *kelsey* told me that *joe* might come down and visit her and so i texted *andy* was like "heyyy so *joe* might be coming down to visit *kelsey* and i think you should come down with him if you want :)" and he said "well why should i come down" and i was like "cause i'll be here and i'm awesome" and he said "oh really who lied to you?" and i said " :( harsh." and he said "haha playing with ya." and i said "idk about that. seemed pretty sincere to me :(" and he said "well i'm sorry i didnt mean it." and i said "haha i know i was joking" and he was like "oh i know you were."
he never really answered my question about if he wanted to come down or not, i was talking to my other friend about it and she said that maybe he'll come down and surprise you. so i mean, that's possible, but you never know with boys.
but like i feel like he's sending mixed signals and i don't know what else to do/say to get things to pick up faster.. idk if he wants things to go farther or what. i'm all around confused and i was just hoping you could help me figure out what he MAY be thinking. :)
thanks for your time!
sorry that this is sooo long.
I agree that he's sending mixed signals, but that seems to happen a lot during the 'getting to know you' stage.
The first thing I want to mention is that there's something going on between him and the girl at the party that kept getting pissed and pulling him away from you. Whether they're dating or used to date or they're talking, i don't know. But she wouldn't feel as though she had the right to get pissed off and pull him away from you if there wasn't more to the story. If I were you, I'd figure out what that was all about before I pushed any further to hang out or get to know him better.
As far as him wanting you to come to the party so bad, then not giving a straight answer on coming to see you; I have no idea. It could really be a number of things. Either, he's upset because you didn't come back to the party so he's being stubborn about coming to see you now. Or, he's just giving you a hard time and playing hard to get. Or, there is something going on with the girl from the party and he's decided not to come see you based on where their friendship/relationship stands now.
So, at this point, I think you should figure out what that girl was all pissed about. Then, (as long as it's still a go) say something casual like, "So, have you decided if you're coming down with Joe?" That way you'll be reminding him that you'd still like to see him and you'll get a chance of getting a straight answer.
If he avoids the question again, you'll know that he doesn't want to come see you for some reason or another. At that point, I would move on. If he doesn't want to come see you when he's wanting start a relationship, who knows how he'd be during a relationship.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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hello!
um ok i used to have this huge crush on this guy but he had a gf and she hated me so much anyways that was 2 years ago (elementary grade 7 him and her grad8) now im in high school with them and evr since shes been giving me terrible looks and she even gives my sister terrible looks (who which ,there would be no way she would know her) and he actually had the nerve to smile at me and now she thinks there is something going on between us but i cant even look at him i can NOT stand them ( i have no feelings for him) and i dont look at him at all but i can see he IS looking at me ( sorry if confusing!!) well anything you do will help!!
It's hard to say what would be best to do in this situation. You haven't done anything wrong, so if you can, just ignore her looks. She probably thinks that you still have feelings for her boyfriend, but if you keep ignoring both of them she'll get the picture. If she keeps giving you dirty looks, and you're sure she's actually giving dirt looks to you, you can talk to her about it and let her know that you don't like her boyfriend and that you don't want any fighting between the two of you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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When a guy gives you head, are you supposed to shave your vagina/or is it better if you do.so confused lol or wat!!!! plz help sorry if this to personal
You can if you want to. Most guys prefer a girl to be trimmed up at least. You should ask your boyfriend how he feels about pubic hair and get his personal opinion.
good luck,
Darby(:
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15/f
i really want to be this girl friend again but the problem is. is that she's prengnat by my ex boyfriend and the girl was my bestfriend!!!!!! idk if i should just leave it alone and move on or try and be her friend && i kinda got mad that my bestfreind was fuckin my boyfriend but now im over it. help.
lexus:)
I probably wouldn't befriend this girl again. I think you should wait a while until SHE comes back to you and apologises for what she did with your boyfriend. You shouldn't have to figure out a way to get her back as a friend. If she's a true friend, she'll come to you and apologise for what she did and try to be friends with you again. Until then, I'd just keep my distance and hang out with other friends.
Good luck (:
Darby
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hi i'm kirstie/21
basically i just can't stop going out to clubs.. i am so addicted to it! i get drunk most of the time but sometimes i don't, i will just go out b/c i love it. i'm not addicted to alcohol what so ever, i can easily go without it. but i just can't stop going to clubs. its costing me so much money and i dont know what i can do! ive tried to stay in on a saturday night but i feel like im missing out on something!
i know theres more to life than clubs...but i really need to realise this properly! what can i do?
The main problem is probably the people that you hang out with. If the people you hang out with go to clubs, you're going to want to go or you'll feel like you're missing out. If you hung out with people that liked to stay in and rent movies or go bowling or something cheaper, you would want to do those things, and if you didn't, you'd feel like you were missing out.
You need to think of it realistically. When you go to a club, what is that you're doing that is so much fun? Sure, it's fun to go out, but it can be equally as fun to do things that are cheaper or free. When you really think about it, I'm sure you can see that you aren't really doing things at the clubs that are so much fun that it's worth going broke over.
If I were you, I'd make some friends that like to do things other than go out to clubs. Going to see a movie, bowling, rollerskating, or hanging out at someone's house are typically much more affordable than partying at a club.
You can also have fun and have some of that party atmosphere at someone's house. The drinks are cheaper and it's just as fun because you know all the people that are there. As long as the volume is kept somewhat low, it's always fun to party a little bit at a friend's house.
You should also try to find hobbies that you enjoy doing solo. You can't always be with friends and party people. Sometimes it's good to enjoy hobbies alone. It can be really relaxing.
Find something creative that you like to do or that you always have wanted to do. Writing, painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, reading, playing an instrument, and sports are all good options.
I want to point out that photography can be extremely fun. You can go downtown and (secretly) snap pictures of people. You can get some really cool and beautiful shots if you go out on a busy evening and take pictures at random. Then you'll be out and about with people, without spending all of your money.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Heyy, well i have been with my BF for 2 years already. I love him to death and he loves me. Really, love cant even explain it.. and he wants to be my first. i love him and want him to be my first too, but im young. im 15 in january. andd i moved:( but see him every single week and we talk every single day for hourssss(: and i have never loved anything MORE in my life... ??
buttt i really dontt knowwww..
please helpp.. this is importantt..
XOXO ♥Jess
You have a few options here. It's good that you want to be each other's firsts, but waiting a while won't hurt. If you're really in love, you'll be able to wait until you're both truly ready to have sex. You asking this questions tells in itself that you're not quite ready. When you are ready, you won't have these second, third, and fourth thoughts.
And just because you love him, doesn't mean you have sex. Just the same, just because you have sex doesn't mean it's some sort of proof of your love for him.
I really strongly advise that you wait for a few different reasons. First of all, if you guys are very happy and in love with each other right now, sex isn't necessary. It will only complicate the pure and strong love that you have for each other now. Few people have relationships last as long as yours has at your age. I promise you, if you have sex with him now, everything will be compromised. It will only cause problems at this point.
Secondly, having sex at your age isn't a good idea because your body is still developing. It's not healthy to have sex while your sex organs are still in the development stage. Plus, you have the issue of needing birth control. Condoms seem like they would work; but it's shocking how often they break or malfunction. And it only takes one time for a condom to get a hole in it or slip off to get you pregnant. You'd need to go on actual birth control which means you'd need to either talk to your mother about it or find a way to get to a clinic.
Lastly, you moved and even though you see him once a week, you probably don't see him as much as you used to. If you start having sex now, you'll have to struggle to balance your time hanging out and your time having sex. Since you only see each other once a week, you'll most likely start arguing often about how often you should have sex. You don't want to see him one time a week and just have sex then go home and see him the next week and just have sex then go home. You'll start feeling like you're using each other for just those purposes.
All in all, your best bet is to just wait. You have a good relationship now. There's no purpose in messing up something that is good and getting yourself into situations that could be easily avoided. If I were you, I would go on with the relationship and wait until you're truly ready to have sex before you do it. You'll know when you're ready. You won't have any doubts or second thoughts.
And, like I said before, just because you aren't each other's first right now, doesn't mean that you can't be in the future.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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well my friends are kinda weird.
i was bullied for 5 years and these 2 guys, which we will call, JA and AL.
well both of them are still mean.
but all my frineds still hang out with them and so im left to sit on my own.
everyday.
any suggestions will be acepted
The way I see it, you've got two options here. You can either talk to your friends about how JA and AL bullied you for 5 years and how you're uncomfortable sitting with them. Some of your friends might see that this bothers you and decide to sit with you instead of them so you're not left to sit alone everyday.
The other option is to directly talk to JA and AL about them bullying you. Tell them how that made you feel. You might be able to work out your differences with them and you'll all be able to hang out and sit together.
If you try this option and JA and AL make fun of you or are rude about it, your friends will see this and (if they're good friends) they'll be angry with them for being mean to you.
If your friends don't care that JA and AL are mean to you, they're not true friends. In that case, you should find better friends that will accept you for you and not choose a couple bullies over you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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