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Older friends wanting to be more: I am 13, and he is 27
I am 13 years old. I have a friend that is 27 years old. In a month or less I will be moving to California . My friend is supposed to be moving with us. BUT a few days ago he had told me he's good at making out and I should try it with him. And I'm like huh ? And then he told me how he liked me and stuff. But my mom had just asked 3 days before, if Dustin (the friend) was weird or if he made me feel uncomfortable,etc. (basically if he was a pervert). And I'm like no , because I didn't know yet and she's like okay . Because he claims to be gay also BTW. And he has this crappy job with crappy people and lives in a small crappy hotel too. And IDK if I should tell my mom 'cause I would be the reason his life sucks and I don't think I'm in the place to take away dreams just to feel more comfortable. Help me! Should I tell or not?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm going to be very honest and blunt (I'm not trying to be rude to you in anyway but I'll say what I think about this situation). He's 27 an you're only 13. Think about it, why would he really be hanging around and be friends with a 13 year old girl (I assume you are a girl?). He's an adult and of course men would be interested in sex. 27 years olds hang around with men thier age not with a young girl like yourself unless he wanted something.
I know what it was like to be at that age, naive and young. I've made mistakes and one that I thankfully didn't go ahead with but had the opportunity to do so and if I did I would probably ended up being taken advantage of. Anyway I don't want you to do anything you might regret. Even he's a family friend you still need to be careful.
You are definetly NOT to blame for his crappy job with crappy people and a small crappy hotel. He's responsible for his own life and you are not responsible for his life. It's best to be safe than sorry. I would tell your mum, you are not going to take away his dreams because your not responsible for his life. You should feel comfortable and safe and not have him say things like that to you.
How would you know if anything he has said is true? News flash people lie. You said he 'claims' to be gay. If you are a girl then why would he hit on you if he is gay? Gay guys like guys only. He could be telling the truth or he could of made it up.
It's not ok for him to say that you should try making out with him when he's an adult and you are only a child. Also if he does anything with you sexually even if you give your consent he can still be arrested since that's sexually assualt on a minor and if you have sex with him he can be arrested for rape.
My advice - tell your mum. When I was a teen I never really shared much with my mum. Some things I kept secret an I understand that there are things you probably wouldn't tell your mum. However this is something that you should tell your mum about. This is something that could possibly go wrong very easily if you don't. He might not do anything but who says he wont? Tell your mum! This is not ok and you should tell your mum about it.
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well i think you should tell your mom.You might regret not tell your mom before because the situation with "this friend" could get more difficult especially how you said "this friend" is a higher age then you are. think about the loss of trust your mom might feel if you don't tell her i know its hard but trust me your mom wont get mad she even thank you and don't think about taking away other peoples dreams just to make you comfortable. It all about being nice to yourself and liking yourself and if you believe your uncomfortable then listen to yourself because you are Probability right and hey think about your dreams too(:
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This man should be locked up immediately! He is sick in the head! Why is your mother allowing him in your life at all? He sounds like a drug user to be honest with you. A grown man living in a hotel and dealing with what you describe as crappy people. Get away from him! Tell your mom exactly what he has said to you. Who cares about his dreams! He is a grown ass man for havens sake. It is not your responsibility to see that he lives a happy life. You are 13 years old. Your mother needs to look out for your best interest ONLY! Eventually, if this continues and he moves with you and your mother more is to come and I wouldn't be surprised if your mother has to pay the price. Your mom is allowing him in your life and this nonsense to go on. She is in violation of child endangerment and you could become a ward of the state. Foster care is not where you want to be I'm sure so you need to report this sick guy NOW!
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i agree with her, you should def tell. for all you know he could take advantage of you and start doing things you DONT wanna do, hes 27 he needs to get a life and stop being a perv , plus with your mom involved it would be alot better, i would just stop talking to him and just live life as a teen (:
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I believe you should definitely tell. It might feel really uncomfortable, but it's the right thing to do. You might really regret not telling her. A 27 year old should not be starting up with you. This is totally crazy, and you shouldn't be the victim of it. You are moving to a new place, starting a new life, don't let this friend ruin it for you. Good luck :)
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Hey!
Sweetie, it is a little weird that he said that to you. He's a lot older and he knows he can make you feel guilty, he knows what he's capable of just by his long experience of living. Trust me, you would SO not be the reason his life sucked. A 13 year old girl can't be one to blamed for a 27 year old's life. And by you asking us if you should tell your mom or not .. I think you just made up your mind. Because if you didn't feel the need or want to tell her, you wouldn't care at all about what he said and wouldnt be over-thinking it as much. It wouldn't be bothering you as much as it is. So that alone says, follow your instincts and tell your mother. You'll be glad you did and won't regret it.
Good luck =)
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He is obviously old enough to take care of yourself, so you should never feel uncomfortable around him. Meaning he sounds like a pervert and wants you to feel guilty about not doing anything with him.
And trust me from 1st hand If he is really gay he would not pursue to make out with you or talk sexually with you.
And no offense but a 27 year old should not be a "friend" with a 13 year old, that sounds very shady to me.
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You should tell your mom.
You wont be the reason his life sucks. His behavoir will lead to your mother (hopefully) not feeling okay with him in a home with her young daughter (something it sounds like she already suspects).
You aren't responsible for making his 'dreams come true'. You are responsible for keeping yourself safe and content in your own home.
Let your mom know what happened. She can't be the best mother she can be unless you are honest with her.
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