Hello, I genuinely like helping others by giving advice out to others.
My intrests are in psychology/mental health but I do like giving out advice on other areas like family/friendship/womens health and just general life advice. Feel free to message me!
E-mail: tigz_285@yahoo.co.uk
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Member Since: March 27, 2012
Answers: 79
Last Update: October 25, 2021
Visitors: 7558
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My sister is a lot older than I am and was kicked out when I was a toddler for being gay. I'm 15 now and she's 29, and the family hasn't had any contact with her since then. I found her on IG a while back and have been keeping up with her. I don't follow her or anything, just look at what she posts so it's not like she knows I found her. I obviously don't remember her, I've just seen pics of her and have heard some stories about her from cousins. I feel like our parents would be mad if I reached out, but she seems cool and I would love to talk to her. I don't care that she's a lesbian and I think what our parents did was really wrong. I'm just nervous at how she's going to react, I know that she has to remember me, and I know that I didn't do anything but what if she hates me lol. Should I send her a message and hope for the best or just mind my own business? (link)
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I doubt she will hate you because like you said, you have done nothing wrong and you were a toddler when she was kicked out the house. That being said, it is good to be prepared for all outcomes. You can control how you reach out to her and your desire to reconnect with her, however you can not control whether it is well received. It is unlikely that she will react badly but I think it is wise to be prepared, say if she is angry or maybe hold resentment because of your parents. Think about how you will respond in these situations and think about maybe having a support system in place in case things do not go well. I am not saying it will not go well, but just in case it does not go as well as you hoped for.
I think sending a message over social media might be a good start as it puts less pressure on her to respond straight away. Maybe you could also start following her and liking some of posts and see how she responds. You might want to meet up and talk things through and clear the air about what happened in the past. She might not know your intention on getting in contact or where you stand on her being a lesbian and if you agree with your parents for kicking her out. So make it clear that you have no problem about her sexual orientation and that you accept her for who she is.
If you want to get in contact with her and build a relationship with her then I don’t see why not. Your parents might be angry and that is something you might need to deal with but it is your decision at the end of the day.
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My bestfriend left in 10th grade and I got into a group of friends it was fine for a while until I felt like I was getting more and more picked on. From getting my head pushed, grabbing my shoes and I ran after them with my socks wet, grabbing my phone and texting people without my permission, always being the target and more. Now I am in 12 grade and am so happy that we are staying home cause in 11th grade I would have mental breakdowns every week cause I felt so lost and stuck cause the person who was the key to all of this knew I have social anxiety and cant just up and leave to a different friend group so I felt like this person was taking advantage of that. I told myself that I would wait until graduation and cut them off but now I feel fake...and I feel fake to myself cause every time this person wants to talk to me I really really don't want to cause I know this person is going to try to find anything to pick on me about. And yet I force myself to respond cause I'm scared of the possibility that to we might go back to school in May and I really don't want drama I just want to leave this friendship. I am especially nervous if we do go back in May cause I don't know what this person is going to do. This person is very impulsive and might lash out and that the last thing I want. This person recently started to comment more on my story's and Instagram photo I believe he/she knows I am getting distant. Like today he/she messaged me saying how its almost my birthday. Once I saw that message my anxiety increased so much and I was about to breakdown. And the thing is, is that every time this person would be nice to me like once in a while I would rethink everything which has really took a toll on my mental health. I keep debating with myself. On one hand I really don't want to respond and want to end and I feel fake and cause I told myself I will never again put myself in that situation again but on the other hand I'm like just wait until graduation and you never have to see this person ever again. Idk..Idk..I feel so lost and suck please I need advice! (link)
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These people are NOT your friends, they are toxic and bullying you. They are taking advantage of you because of your social anxiety and manipulating you. This is not what friends do. You should not be made to feel like this and you should not feel as though you are fake because it’s them with the problem not you. Please do not think that you are the problem when it is not. This is hurting you so much that your mental health is suffering and no one deserves that treatment that these so called “friends” are giving you.
My advice would be to end it now, leave and stay away from them. Do not wait until graduation because you will be waiting for a long time and by then you will probably have a breakdown and your mental health will suffer so much more than it already has. Please do not fall for them trying to be nice to you because it is likely that they are manipulating you into staying in that friendship group. They will probably keep doing that so do not fall for it. Cut all contact and set all of your social media profiles to private and if necessary, block them.
Is there someone you can talk to about this? maybe a guidance counsellor or a teacher you can trust? I know how hard it is to make friends when you have social anxiety but do not let that hold you back. You will eventually find friends, good friends that are nice and friendly not like the ones you have now. I know you may feel you need to stay with them because you feel like you can not talk to anyone and make new friends. I had a toxic friend who I stayed with because I thought I was not going to find any other friends but I learnt that staying in that toxic friendship was not good for me and my mental health. They will wear you down just like they did to me. It is better to get out now than stay with people like that. I eventually found friends I could trust and so can you.
There is also help available for social anxiety and I would suggest talking to your primary care doctor about the ways in which they can help you. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be helpful to those with social anxiety and it might be something that you could look into. Good luck with everything.
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My little sister (11-14 yo) is going through something, and I have been trying to help as much as I can. Recently, she told me something about herself (that she has a type of mental illness; it's self-diagnosed) and I'm having a hard time believing it.
The reason for that is because throughout her whole life, she liked to pretend to be someone/something else (she would copy what she sees/reads/hears about), so when I realized that she only started showing signs of the mental illness after she had read something about it, I had started having doubts.
I have talked to her about it, and I am trying to be supportive and keep an open mind, but I honestly don't know what to do. This is way bigger than anything else, and if this is true and for real, how can I tell and how can I help? Should I do what I normally do and take her word for it? Or should I do something else? What can I do to help her?
-Mia, age 16 (link)
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I can understand why you might think that your little sister may be lying about having a mental illness because she only started having signs of a mental illness after she read about it. At that age it is easy to be influenced by things you read on the internet and convince yourself that that is what is wrong with you, and also be influenced by others or think it’s trendy and cool to have a mental illness.
However, you don’t know for sure whether this is true or not and the only way to know for sure is if she is diagnosed by a professional. I think you have done the right thing in being supportive, it’s best to be there and support her because this could be true and in this case it’s best to help someone even if you don’t know for sure because it is something that is serious. Mental health should not be taken lightly. I think it’s better to help someone even if it turns out not to be true, than not help and for it to get worse.
You're right in saying it’s way bigger than anything, that’s why you shouldn’t take this on all by yourself. Have you talked to your parents? If not I think it would be best to discuss this with them so they can help her. The only person who is going to know if she does have issues with her mental health is a trained professional. Your parents should get her to see a doctor and go from there. If she needs further help and support for a mental illness she will be referred to the right services/mental health professional.
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15/F in England
I apply for many places but none of them reply back to me over email. It's getting quite annoying especially since my school doesn't help or do work experience.
Any suggestions?
Thanks for taking the time to read and possibly answer :) (link)
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Hi, UK answer here. Looking at the Gov.UK website (government services and information) it says that there is no upper age limit for volunteering but some organisations insurance policies dont cover you if you are under 16 or over a certain age.
That doesnt necessarily mean that you wont be able to find places that take on under 16s, it would just mean that your options are limited because of insurance reasons.
I would definitely check out The Princes Trust which can help young people with unemployment, volunteering, help start a business etc. https://www.princes-trust.org.uk
You could also look in your local area if there any youth programmes or volunteer opportunities for under 18s.
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I got glasses today and I'm kinda scared to wear them. Not because of how I look (because I look fabulous) but because normally I see pretty well. I can see when we take note (even if I sit kinda far in the back. But something's that are REALLY small I can't see. In my opinion I don't think glasses are super necessary. And I don't want people to be like "you don't need glasses" "your faking it" "you see better than I do" because it's honestly not even to the point where I can't see what's in front of me like most of my friends. What should I do? (link)
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People need glasses for all sorts of reasons, I need to wear glasses because Im short sighted and I have astigmatism which causes blurred or distorted vision. If you have glasses then its for a reason which in your case is because you cant see something thats really small. You may feel like you dont need them because you say that you can normally see pretty well but if you are given them because of a problem with your vision then you do need them. You may not feel like its necessary but it might be essential for you because of your sight - even if its a small problem.
I know someone who only needs glasses when she is reading of a board or something far away because she cant see it properly, other than that her vision is ok, she doesnt need to wear glasses apart from that but she still needs them for that.
Maybe you could talk to your optician about it, they are always happy to help with inquires about your eyes - thats what they are there for. Ultimately they are the experts in eye care so you should talk to them and dont worry about what other people are going to say, they are not experts on vision and especially YOUR vision- if you need them then you need them and ignore people who make assumptions.
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Ok so..I am a fifteen year old girl. I am really thin for my age, but I've always been self conscious about my body, as well. I noticed this when I was about twelve. My right breast is larger than my left. Do I need to get implants? Do I need to see a doctor? I talked to my mom about it, and she thinks it will eventually grow, but its been three years now, and I really don't think it will, but I don't want to end up with asymmetrical breasts! That is embarrassing. Please help. Advice is much appreciated! (link)
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It is completely normal to have one breast slightly bigger than the other. One breast bud on one side may start growing first then the other starts a few weeks to a few months later to catch up. Once your breasts are finished growing, they will be pretty close to the same size. Breasts usually stop growing in your late teens to early twenties. You should also know that breasts are not totally symmetrical and many adult women have one breast slightly bigger than the other. If you’re really worried about your breast size, talk you your doctor or gynaecologist.
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So I got my first period about a year ago. I've always gotten my period about every other month or every 2 months. It creeps me out because I scare myself into thinking I could've got pregnant somehow. I got my last period around 2 months from this time, and I still haven't got it. Is this normal? (link)
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Well it’s not unusual, especially in the first 2 years after menarche, to skip periods or to have an irregular menstrual cycle. Especially in your teen years with your body changing during puberty and hormonal fluctuation, you may notice that you have irregular periods which is not uncommon. It may take several years for your cycle to become regular.
Also some reasons for late/missed periods are: stress, pregnancy, intense exercising, excessive weight loss or weight gain, eating disorders, contraceptives and hormonal birth control, change in diet or routine, ongoing illness, some types of medication, hormonal imbalances.
Try not to stress out, if you are worried then go and see a doctor to put your mind at ease.
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Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't really feel normal. For starters my breasts are too small and I'm short, so I'm physically falling behind all of my peers. I know that I'll catch up though, so that only hurts my self esteem, but I'll be ok. What I'm really concerned with is mental development. I feel like I'm too "hormonal". I Masturabate once every two days or so and I have sex fantasies and things like that (although I'm not going to actually have sex for a long time). It just concerns me because most of the kids at my school seem so innocent, like they don't have hormones, or fantasies, or anything. So an I the only one? Am I "normal"? (link)
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Yes you are a normal teenager. First of all, girls grow and develop at different rates. I’m sure you will catch up when you have a growth spurt. Don’t worry about your breasts because they still have time to grow. Breasts don’t stop growing until your late teens and they can sometimes grow into your 20’s.
It is normal to feel hormonal when you are a teenager and that is completely normal. Believe me, you’re not the only teen who feels that way. A lot of girls and boys feel that way when they are growing up and going through puberty. When you go through puberty you will experience many changes in your body and your emotions. Most of it you can’t control because it’s your hormones that are in charge a lot of the time. During this time you can have mood changes, start to think about relationships and have feelings for the opposite sex. Feeling hormonal and having sex fantasies is normal. You may not think the kids at school have sex fantasies but they probably do. Masturbating is also normal, again both girls and boys masturbate although some may not admit to doing it.
You are perfectly fine, there is no need to worry =)
Here are some websites you can check out that give you more information about growing up and about puberty:
http://teenshealth.org/teen/
http://www.girlshealth.gov/
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There's this white/clear "gooey" substance in my underwear. I got my first period nearly a year ago. I thought it could be discharge, but don't you only get that before your period? (link)
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That sounds like vaginal discharge. When your vagina is healthy, it naturally produces secretions of normal discharge that is usually white or colourless and it keeps the vagina clean, lubricated and free from infection. There is nothing wrong with having discharge. Normal discharge it just that: normal and vaginas need it around to stay healthy. You can get discharge daily and that is normal and it can also come at any time, not necessarily before your period. You can read more about vaginal discharge here:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/honorably_discharged_a_guide_to_vaginal_secretions
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Hi, I'm 13 and my right boob is bigger then my left, u can't tell when I'm whereing a bra but when I'm not its noticeable. Is this normal?? Please help! (link)
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Having one breast bigger than the other is completely normal. One breast bud on one side may start growing first then the other starts a few weeks to a few months later to catch up. Once your breasts are finished growing, they will be pretty close to the same size. However a lot of adult women do have different sized breasts (usually one is just slightly bigger than the other or maybe has a different shape) and that is perfectly normal.
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I have these marks on my thighs. They're right where my private part is (Tmi, I know haha sorry). There's about 4 on my left thigh and 3 on my right. At first I thought they were stretch marks, but they're red/pink. They're not bruises or cuts, because they don't hurt. When I touch them, I just feel the mark where it's at. What is this? I'm starting to freak out a little bit. That's the only place where these marks are. Also, I'm a female if it matters. (link)
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They are most likely stretch marks. It's common for teen girls to get stretch marks. Some places you may notice stretch marks are on your breasts, thighs, hips and bottom. They are usually a purple or red colour when they first appear which gradually turn to a more silvery-white colour over time. Stretch marks happen when the skin is pulled by rapid growth or stretching. It can be caused from several things such as: weight gain (this can often be from natural weight gain during puberty), pregnancy, muscle gain and growth/height gain. Stretch marks may fade away eventually but you can't completely get rid of them. To help with the appearance of stretch marks, keep the skin moisturized. Some people recommend using coco butter, aloe vera or vitamin E oil.
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I've worn a sports bra all the time (most) for about 2 or 3 years. There isn't a reason, I just feel more comfortable that way. However, I came across something that said that wearing a bra all the time can cause cancer. I won't wear it all the time anymore now, but I'm scared that I could have breast cancer or that I will. Advice please! (link)
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There have been several rumours about bras and breast cancer that have been going around as well as breast cancer myths. Wearing a sports bra, an underwire bra, a tight bra, or even sleeping with a bra on does not cause breast cancer. Wearing a tight bra or wearing a bra to bed might cause some discomfort but that’s all.
It’s always good to get acquainted with your breasts to know how your breasts normally look and feel. That way you can spot any changes quickly and report them to your doctor. Get to know what is normal for you and make sure you look at your breasts in the mirror and feel your breast to see if there is any change. It’s also good to know what changes to look for. This website gives you the changes that you should look out for: http://coppafeel.org/boob-check/
A trusted website that tells you the facts about breast cancer is breastcancer.org: http://www.breastcancer.org/ it tell you everything you need to know including breast cancer risk factors and the five steps of breast exam.
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20/f
I've hardly had any friends because I didn't want to be anybody's slave,so to speak. I've always been called ugly just because I'm not skinny and I don't wear make-up (I put eyeshadow and mascara on sometimes) and because I don't have money for branded clothes. I've always been called a nerd because I liked to study and have all A's and thanks to that now I'm studying medicine. I'm labeled as boring because I don't go partying every weekend,getting drunk and having sex with many guys. Nobody wants to get to know me,they all judge either on what they see or what they hear about me. No matter what I try no guy will notice me. It's like I'm invisible. And the most hated person in the world. How to be confident and have self worth when your life is like this? I don't wanna stop living,even though it had crossed my mind. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this because they think I'm being a drama queen. Nobody takes into account how I really feel. (link)
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What’s made clear to me while reading your question is that you really lack self-confidence and you don’t give YOURSELF a lot of credit. You can have a good and happy life if you want to; you just have to make positive changes and be willing to change things for the better otherwise you will be stuck in an unhappy life. The major thing you need to work on is self-esteem. Maybe you could buy some self-help books on building self-esteem or alternatively borrow some books from the library. Other than that you could find a self-confidence course in your local area. Another thing that stuck out while reading your question is negative thinking. I read a quote on someone’s Facebook page the other day and it said “A negative mind will never get you a positive life” and that’s actually very true. If you fill your mind with negative thoughts then you will start to believe it. Trust me if you don’t do anything about it then it can go on for years and years just living an unhappy life. But you CAN change it. It’s this type of thinking that has got you into this world of despair you have to realise that you can come out of it. What really helps me is The Positivity Blog. I only just discovered it and it can help you. I subscribed to the free Positivity Newsletters (I get e-mails on helpful tips and strategies for living a simpler and happier life, improving social skills and self-esteem). You can visit the website here: http://www.positivityblog.com/ it’s worth taking a look at!
What you need to do is challenge the negative thinking and try to change things around. If you don’t have any friends then make the effort to join clubs and do something that you will find fun where you can meet other people.
This is going to sound harsh but YOU are making your life the way it is. Once you realise this (like I did) then you can make your life better. It took me a very long time to realise this and I was stuck in a “Poor me” mentality. I thought of everything negatively in my life: I tried getting a job but failed in interviews so I thought that I’m useless and can never get a job, I’m shy, I don’t have any friends, I don’t know what to do with my life, everyone picks on me etc. I didn’t think I was playing the victim (not intentionally) but I now I realise that I was and I can do something about it and appreciate what I have. You need to stop caring about what other people think about you because it will get you nowhere in life. You need to think about yourself for a change and grow a thicker skin because all throughout life you will get people saying this and that about you and say horrible things about you even for no reason. You just have to learn to ignore it and get on with it.
Remember that you are in control of your life and you can change it. It may be tough but you’ll get there.
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In about September or October, I had my first period. Ever since, I've had my period every other month. I can't remember the last time my period was. I'm a virgin, but for some reason I feel like i'm pregnant. It's weird. But is it abnormal to get your period every other month? (link)
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No it's not abnormal. This can happen when you first start having periods. Some girls might have a regular cycle after having their first period and some may not have a very regular cycle. It’s not uncommon for girls to have irregular or infrequent periods when first starting their period. It can take time for your body to regulate your hormones so don’t worry right now.
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Is the show Dexter going to have a new season? (link)
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No there won't be a new season of Dexter, there are 8 seasons all together and the 8th season was the final season. I heard that there could possibly be a spin-off.
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Hi,
My best friend moved to a different school recently and she started today. Well after school she told me about it and everything, and she seems really happy there.. I'm happy for her, but I'm scared that she might find a new best friend or something. She said people are aleady calling her their best friend, it's really fun there, etc. I really don't want to lose her, but I'm scared I will. Any advice is much appreciated, thanks :) (link)
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Sometimes you just have to accept that your friend has moved on. I know it's hard because I've been there and it sucks. I met my best friend at school and we were really close. Unfortunately in Year 10 she moved to another school and I lost my best friend. At that time I had another friend but he moved away as well so I didn't really have anyone to talk to. We kept in touch and I would hear about everything that she was doing and I would tell her what I'm up to now. Anyway, I realised that she was going to have new friends and have her own life. We lost touch eventually and I made new friends. I still consider her to be my best friend and I hope she still thinks of me as her best friend.
You don't have to loose contact with her like I did with my best friend. You could e-mail, text or phone your friend. You could even meet up if her school isn't too far away from where you live. So you can still be friends but you just have to realise that she will make friends at her new school and maybe even make other best friends. You don't have to loose her completely but just know that sometimes you can go different ways and no matter how hard that may seem, you just have to accept it.
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If any can get pragnent if boy shooted all his cum on the mouth of vigana after having full sex (link)
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Yes there is a risk of pregnancy if a guy ejaculates onto the vulva. While the chances of pregnancy are lower than actually ejaculating inside the vagina, it is still very possible.
You can get more information about it here: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/question/faq-could-i-be-pregnant
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Hello everyone! I've got a very simple question: What are your favorite book(s)? If you don't have a favorite, what are some you really enjoy? (I need new things to read.) (link)
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I would recommend the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer. It's quite popular so you might already know about it but if you haven't then you should definitely read it. It's a series of eight books which follows the adventures of a 12 year old criminal mastermind - Artemis Fowl II. The author describes the series as "Die Hard with fairies". Once I started reading the first book I honestly couldn't put it down, it's a definite must read.
I would also suggest another book by Eoin Colfer called The Supernaturalist. I really enjoyed this book and I would also recommend reading this as well.
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Tell me a woman can be pregnant if she has fucked by her ass hole? (link)
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Not from the act it's self but if sperm got into the vagina (before or after anal sex) then pregnancy could possibly occur - unlikely but possible. It's best to be protected anyway because with anal sex, there is a higher risk of getting an STD than vaginal sex.
I would suggest watching this YouTube video by Lacie Green who is a peer sex educator:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83lo7OqruJI
Anal sex lowdown:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/anal_sex_lowdown
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Hi, I'm 13 (obviously a girl) I have had vaginal discharge for almost a year now. I have had pubic hair for 3 years. No armpit hair. I have a lot of mood swings, like one second I think that I look so great and the next I'm crying about how every one looks better than me (I'm in a good mood right now). I have breasts but just but if I wear a big shirt I look flat. I have also had pimples/oily skin for 4 years. I have had them for 2 years. I often get cramps were I'm pretty sure my internal girly stuff is. My mom isn't really a help cause when I say that I have gas. I know I shouldn't be this concerned but all of my friends have periods and boobs just feel really out of place. I'm afraid I'll never get it. I just want it so I can stop worrying that I'll never get it. I really don't want to get it when I'm in high school cause that will be way too embarrassing. I know that people will always say just wait its not as great as you think, but I only want it to stop worrying. Is there any way I can make it come faster?
(link)
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I wouldn't worry just yet. Periods can start at any time between the ages of about 10 and 16. Everyone is different and there is no "right time" to have a period. Some girls might get there period when they are young like at 10 years old and some girls might not get there period until they are 16. Right now it sounds like you are going through puberty which means that you are growing up and becoming a young woman.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to make your period come faster - periods are controlled by hormone chemicals in your body. Try not to worry about it too much you are young and you still have time to get your period. That being said, if you don't get your period by the time you are 17 then I would go and see a doctor but right now you are fine. Everyone develops at different rates so don't beat yourself up over it.
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