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Can't seem to get over him...
I am 39 and recently separated after a long marriage that was unhappy for many years. About a month ago I went on Plenty of Fish and met a man that I really liked. We met in person and it was wonderful. We had instant chemistry. For 2 weeks we texted or talked every day. We saw each other five times. We slept together. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said no. Then I went to add him as a friend on Facebook... His profile did not have privacy settings so I was able to look at his pics. He had a recent picture posted in which he made a comment about coming back there with someone special. There was a comment on it (written that day) that said "can't wait. xoxo" from a woman. I texted him to inquire if he was in fact seeing someone else as well. He phoned me and told me it was a woman that he had been talking to online and that he hadn't met her in person. He then proceeded to tell me that he really likes me but that our relationship was getting too serious too fast. He said he wasn't ready for that as he had too much stress in his life right now. I was devastated. I tried to keep up the friendship with some texts for a few days, but it seemed one-sided. So, I waited... No word from him at all. Then I sent him a message on Facebook in which I poured out my heart. He hasn't replied. I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like I fell in love with this man. I keep thinking about the things he said, the way he acted while we were together. It felt so perfect. I just can't get over him. I am so depressed!
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Dating is tough.
You didn't get 'played'. You engaged in online dating with someone who had different goals than you did. It's always tough to know the rules, and if you have dated online before, you are going to learn some of the norms have changed.
This guy was talking to another women online. Frankly, when you are dating online, you need to assume that the person you are talking to or dating is at least talking/corresponding with other people. That's what most people do when you are online dating - they make contact with many people.
This guy didn't consider your relationship exclusive. He didn't see anything wrong with continuing conversations with others that began as part of his online dating.
In my experience, his definition of 'seeing someone' is a common one. He could have been more forthcoming with you about talking to others - but he didn't play you.
It always hurts when someone prefers the company of others to your exclusive company, but that is all that happened here. And it might happen it again. It's part of dating.
This guy doesn't seem to be looking for a friendship, and whatever he is looking for, he's told you that you aren't it.
It's sucks, but give him enough respect to accept it as the truth.
It is rude of him to ignore your message now - but that is all it is - rude. Let it go. Keep yourself busy and don't dwell. You'll get past it.
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sweetie, to be bluntly honest... you got Played. The thing about online relationships is it's worse than dating offline... you really don't know anything BUT what this person tells you about them and what you can inquire from their social network pages. The guy most likely does what most guys seem to be doing lately which is use social networks to get women all gaga... get them and bed then move on.
But you also should realize the guy was kind of right... it doesn't sound like you talked a lot and you guys had only hung out five times when you actually had sex. keep in mind, you weren't in a relationship when you basically creeped on his facebook pictures to confront him about another girl... a no-no. if he wasn't using or playing you, you most likely blew your chance just by that. and believe me the pouring your heart message on facebook probably creeped him out more.
take your next relationship waaaaay slower. you're probably a sweet girl, but keep in mind the quicker you put yourself out there, the most likely you get hurt.
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When you say slept with him you mean sex right?
Because it sounds like to me he didn't want a relationship, maybe just some women he can hang around with and maybe have sex once and then.
Rule #1 never sleep with a guy without him being committed to a relationship, if that is what you want.
He obviously just played along with the lovegames till he slept with you, if he did.
The "It's going so fast" Is a nice way for him to say he's not interested.
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